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May 6, 2013

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Obituaries

Maceyko, Seth James

One final thought to those questioning why we went "public" with it. My sister started a memorial site on Facebook and we live in a small community so Seth's death became public from early on. A child's death will never be private. Once I posted on the site it felt therapeutic for me to put my feelings into words, people responded and that gave me strength when I thought I had none. That site has been a positive thing for me and so we kept it. Now it's our way of keeping our son alive in our way. We have new friends on there and a support system. That doesn't mean we want to discuss his actual death on it but I have privately emailed people on there who requested it.  (May 7, 2013 | post #35)

Obituaries

Maceyko, Seth James

Thank you for understanding. This is exactly it and I want to say upfront that I am sorry for your losses. You have been there and you obviously understand. It's not a hidden agenda of some kind. We are suffering and it is very fresh. I have already talked to my congressman about two issues - one is regarding bunk bed safety and the other is the fact that FMLA does not cover any time off for parents who have lost a child. I am not ashamed or afraid to discuss things if it can help others but my wife is still completely traumatized and I try to balance things for her well being. As such I am taking this one day at a time because as you know that's all you can do in a situation like this. I have always said anyone that wants to talk I am open to sitting and talking about it but putting it in writing seems to be much harder to do at this point in time. To write the words - to even see others write the words here - makes you feel sick. I hope that gets better with time.  (May 6, 2013 | post #34)

Obituaries

Maceyko, Seth James

There is no mention of how Seth died on his Facebook page because my wife and I neither one could stomach looking at that every time we visit that site. That is not why the site was created. She will never be able to talk about it but not because we are hiding anything. My precious son was playing in his room like normal and when he was quiet for awhile she went to check on him and what has been mentioned here is correct. I cannot write that yet myself but if you search for the dangers of bunk beds you will find our situation is not the first time this has happened to a child. My wife is traumatized and will never be the same nor will I. I have spoken with our congressman about the dangers of bunk beds and small children and I have even had a lawyer say that we could likely when a suit against the companies over this. However I have no desire to put my family through this. We have suffered enough and no amount of money changes what we have lost. Others have set up fundraisers and things for us and much of that money has been used to help with the obvious costs. The remaining money will go into a non-profit in Seth's name to be used somehow to help other kids. Those details need worked out but that is the goal. We are not hiding anything about this tragedy but to believe that we can just put that out there so easy tells me you haven't lost a child. I am glad that you haven't and hope that none of you ever do. My life will never be the same and nothing anyone says will change that. I appreciate those who are trying to protect us for whatever reason but there's no need. This was a rare accident but surprisingly not the first of its kind which is disturbing. All I can say is if you have a bunk bed please do your research. However I won't discuss this on Seth's tribute page. I will never put my wife through that. I hope this clears up some things. There is no way everyone will ever be supportive but I wanted to clear some of this up because a search of my son's name led me to this site today and I felt like I should say what I can. I probably won't have much more to say for now though because it is hard to discuss. God Bless to all.  (May 6, 2013 | post #33)