Hi Lisa, Its not easy to tell the genuine ones straight away, and I dont think a 2 week relationship then go back and marry them it ideal either, only time will tell, like we have read stories on here some wait months, years before they show their true colours.Cora you say they are 'holding out for a toubab' to marry them, so their problems are solved'.
So how would a toubab protect herself from such a shrewed manouver, how does a woman know if he's for real or looking for a meal ticket/walking atm to support him and his extended family for life?.
How does she really know just how many tourist toubabs he's playing at the same time?.
I have read some posts from women who are planning to marry gambian men they met when on holiday and really do not know these men well, not unless you consider the odd two week holiday knowing someone well.
What advice would you give to those women?. Should they do as I did and set up a honeytrap on Facebook to see if he's a fake and falls for it?
One dead give away I think is the urgency to get a visa, or they keep talking about the UK, and they would work and help you with the bills etc, but really what kind of job can they do as many are not trained for anything, so they would get a minimum paid job.
I personally think if you have a good man and he is really genuine then it helps with a relationship, but unfortunately its the other bits that are added to the mix that can destroy it, ie family members all wanting something or expecting something, even ppl that live in the compound are holding their hands out thinking the man is part of the compound community and should get his toubab woman to give them a bag of rice.
It doesnt make the relationship easy as he is stuck in the middle, and if he says no he cant help then he gets called names from the others, saying things like..he's stuck up now he has a white wife, or he doesnt want to help his people, its can be soul destroying at times, this is another reason why many want to get a visa out as they will not get the hassle they get if they are living in gambia with their toubab wife.