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Lesotho

Laughter....the better medicine!!!

Comments (Page 26)

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me neer
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#513
Feb 21, 2008
 
Maar Van De Merre is sick!
He escapes from prison with with Peit and Labu one night and they run into a nearby forest to hide. But they had triggered an alarm so the police and the prison wardens were after them with torches and dogs.Once they realised that the guards were hot on their trail with the flickering of the torches and the barking of the dogs, They decide to each climb a tall tree.
The dogs come backing on the tree climbed by Piet. Police officer shouts " come down,You are under arrest". Piet cries out " meow meow!". on hearing that, the officers move on thinking it is a cat.

The dogs later start barking up Labu's Tree. Labu also cries out,'HOO! HOO!. One officer then says 'damn! this is only an owl, lets move on before those bastards escape.

So they come up to Van's tree. He had realized that if you make an animal noice , then they move on. The police man once again shines his torch and shouts out for the escapee to come down. Van shouts ' MOOOO! MOOOO!.

YAA your blacksem! Khomo tsa mona ha li hloelle lifate. Thooha!!!
me neer
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#514
Feb 21, 2008
 
In 1976 Statistics showed that during the Soweto uprising, The last carriages of the Gauteng trains were the ones targeted and torched by angry youths.

Van de Mervwe as the superintendent Of Transvaal rail, ordered all the Last carriages of every train to be removed.
Rapetlele
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#515
Apr 22, 2008
 
A guy applies for a job at a new South African Government Department.
The interviewer asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" "Yes!" the guy
says, "A landmine blew my testicles away!" "O.K. you're hired!" the
interviewer announces, "Working hours are from 8 till 5 o'clock. Make
sure you're here by 10 every morning!" Puzzled the guy says "8 till 5,
why do you want me to come in only at 10?" "This is a government job,"
the interviewer says, "the first two hours we just sit around scratching
our balls.......no point in you coming in for that....!"

Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Comments: 1464
Bloemfontein
ISP Location: Maseru, Lesotho
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#516
Apr 22, 2008
 
Boy: Dad, what's politics?

Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?

Boy: I still don't understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son.

That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.

The next day...

Son: Dad I understand politics now.

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government's fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!

Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Comments: 1464
Bloemfontein
ISP Location: Maseru, Lesotho
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#517
Apr 22, 2008
 
An economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam.

Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in. The professor looked at him and said, "Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell."

The guy looked at him and said, "Professor, do you know who I am!"

The professor replied, "No, and I don't care if your dad is president of the United States...you get a zero on this exam"

The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, "You mean you have no idea who I am?"

The professor responded, "No, I've no idea who you think you are."

With that, the guy said "Good!" plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other student's exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!
Rapetlele
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#519
Apr 22, 2008
 
A small girl walks-in while her father is dressing in the bedroom. She looks at his privates and points at his cork and asks "Dad what's that thing between your legs?" Dad replies "I don't know". She goes to kitchen and finds her mum "Mum what is that long thing between dad's legs?" The mum instead of explaining things to her she replies "I don't know" A week later when the mum was coming from work the little girl runs to her and says "Mum you refused to tell me the name of that thing between dad's legs. I have finally figured it out on my own IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH".
The mum laughs then asks her "How do u know that?"
The girl explains "....when I came back from pre-school this morning I saw the maid kneeling in front of dad, brushing her teeth with dad's toothbrush and sure enough there was TOOTHPASTE in her mouth"
doc
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#520
Jul 24, 2008
 
le booa masepa kaofela ha lona
Nameless
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#521
Jul 24, 2008
 
Nothing beats reading a good joke after a stressful day, guys please keep them coming...
Mzala
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#522
Jul 24, 2008
 
Have not read all the jokes, want to reead the rest tomorrow. keep them coming guys
Charma
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#523
Jul 25, 2008
 
My wife and I were at Golf store as she was comparing kind of golf balls.She was unhappy with wowans type she's gona use.after several browsing for several minutes, She approche who work there and without thinking. she look at him and say " I THINK I LIKE TO PLAY WITH MEN'S BALLS.''
Charma
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#524
Jul 25, 2008
 
HE said VS SHE said He said: I dnt know why you wear bra, you've got nothing to put it in. SHE said: You wear pants don't you. He said: Why dnt u tell me when u have orgasm? She said: I would bt u never there. She said:What do u call a woman who knows where her husband is every night. He said: Its a Widow!
Charma
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#525
Jul 25, 2008
 
Customer: I've been ringing 0700-2300 for two days and cant get through to enquiries,can you help? Operator; Where did u get that number from Sir? Customer: At the door of Travel Centre. Operator: Sir they are our opening hours 00:7 to 23:00
NNa Ngoana batho
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#526
Jul 28, 2008
 
Mokotatsie wrote:
What makes you an AFRICAN?
1. You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper.
2. You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunt.
3.More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies
4. Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and
the baby walker - baby's now 12 and you are 40
5. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels.(Gocool, Sweet heart, African pride....)
6. You have almost always carry overweight baggage when travelling by plane.
7. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a
product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximam quantity possible.(sugar,soap,rice,cook ing fat etc etc during old good days)
8. All children have annoying nicknames
9. Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit.( uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and a neighbour) have camped at home.
10. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants.(Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)
11. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.
12. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night(especially beepers).
13. You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.
14. You keep changing your Internet Service Provide because the first month is free.(I know some people O!.....)
15. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes,staple machine, office pins, punch machine,cellotapes, post-its,etc.)
16. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.
17. Ha u ja u etsa bonnete ba hore u qetella ka nama!
Joined: Jul 1, 2008
Comments: 220
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#527
Jul 28, 2008
 
A man had this sign on his shop veranda "stationary for sale". One man comes and says "hey, stationary means being in one place without moving". The owner of the shop replies "This shop has not moved since I occupied it, you can ask your mother if you think I am lying"
Charma
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#528
Jul 29, 2008
 
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said. "you are gona do it bcos you get up first" The Husband said, " you are incharge of cooking so u should do it,thats ur job as wife. She replies."No, you should do it, besides,it is in the Bible that a man should do the coffee'' Husband replies."no, I cant believe dat, show to me!" So she fetched the Bible, & opened the New Testament & showed him at the top several that indeed says....... "HEBREWS".
Ntja e mpe
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#529
Jul 29, 2008
 
NNa Ngoana batho wrote:
<quoted text>
17. Ha u ja u etsa bonnete ba hore u qetella ka nama!
18. Toilet paper u e sebelisa ka mahlakoreng a mabeli kapa u sebelisa lejoe.
Charma
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#530
Jul 30, 2008
 
4 guys went golfing;one went in the clubhouse to pay while others waited at the first tee. 1 of the guys says, "I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enough that he gave away a huge portfolio"The next guy said. "My son has made it he's cas dearler and he just gave away a Ferrari"The third guy said I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that He gave away million dollar home" Just as the third guy finishes talking,the fourth guy join them and ask, "what are u talking about? "Just talking about how good our sons" the three men replied. "Well, my son is doing well he's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a mollion-dollar home."
Charma
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#531
Jul 31, 2008
 
A man hasnt been feeling well,so he goes to his doctor for complete check up. Afteward,the doctor comes out with results. " I'm afraid I have some bad news'' The doctor say. "You are dying, and u dont have much time left'' Oh that's terrible!'' says the man. "How long have I got? "Ten"the doctor says sadly (ten?) ask the man "Ten what? months? Weeks? What?!'' The doctor interrupts, "Nine"!:"Eight "
Charma
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#532
Jul 31, 2008
 
Dumb Lesotho Laws: 1) Its illegal for a drive to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.(2) Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.(3) Woman are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce.However this provision does not apply to men.(4) Men way not spit in front opposite sex.(5) Its illegal to wear moustache that causes laughter in church.(6) Its illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger than his cork...!
Charma
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#534
Saturday Aug 9
 
Koalepe motswalle waka ha ke fihla Lesotho a kgothalla ho nkisa batho le teng hle kere moo dintho di etsahalang.Che re ithabise le ho boloka nako ra hla ra ithlahanela ho kgutla empa tseleng ho kgutla ke bone hwa ntja ho ntse nyokholoha ho hlotswe ke kgera,ke moo fihlang hore sihla fatse lebaleng, mosad4 wa hae a iphapanya sa monga dikolobe ya ba hwa ho tona ho kgutlisa chenche le teng ho bonahala hore o jele tsa Sontaha dijo hang ha hlaha Spoti ke tlala ya itjella nyalasi yaba fihla molomong,ke moo ke utlwang Koalepe a se are. Honey kajeno hobaneng osa time mabona kapa o notletse monyako, bana ha ba ka kena batlare Ntate le Mme ba etsang.
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