Lets post jokes here

Mojalihlooho wrote:

Remember the days of Bantustans/Homelands when Dr C .N Phatudi (Lebowa) and Mr P.Mphephu( Venda ) visited the White house? while at the dinner table with all dignitaries from all over the world, Mphemphu stunned all the guests by taking the big spoon meant fot dishing out rice and was just about to use it for eating when an embarassed Phatudi interruptted:'Ladies and gentlemen,before we have our dinner may I make a short prayer in my own language'? and so the prayer went;
'Hey'wena Mphemphu setlaela ke wena, leswana leo ase la go ja maan-shomisha leswana le lelenyane o tlogele gon'tlhabisa dihlong/dikgala mogare ga bahlomphegi ba dichaba-chaba-Amen.
Before a fetsa go rapela, Phatudi a bona batho ba tswaletse mahlo ebe a utswa cutlery ya expensive gold and he put it inside his jacket, kganthe Mphephu o lebeletse, ge Phatudi are Amen...Mphephu ebe are "Ladies and Gentlemen I will now show you some African magic...you see this gold cutlery, I will put it inside my jacket and take it out Phathudi's jacket"..he put the cutlery inside his jacket and went across to Phathudi and took out the cutlery that was in Phatudi's jacket, to everybody's amazement...everyone was ecstatic they all clapped and cheered...to which Phatudi stood up and said and now Ladies and Gents to congratulate my fellow African in my language...I say otlonyela leVenda ke wena..I thank you

TBOZ wrote:

THE WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for o ver a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said,'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lord... and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.

Undress Me wrote:

Julius Malema enters a Spar Store to buy himself orange juice and sugar. He paid for the juice and walked out with the sugar under his arm , unpaid. He was arrested and locked up. During the court hearing, the judge asked him why did he only pay for the juice and stole the sugar? He replied “auw..VOETSEK man, I do not steal. At the back of the juice bottle said : SUGAR FREE! You think I’m stupid or what

Skavenjah wrote:

WHY I NEVER VISIT RICH PEOPLE
Question: "What would you like to drink ... fruit juice, soda, tea, milo,
chocolate, or coffee?"
Answer: "Tea please"
Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, ice tea or
green tea?"
Answer: " Ceylon tea please"
Question: "How would you like it? Black or white?"
Answer: "White please"
Question: "Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?"
Answer: "Milk please "
Question: "Goat milk, camel milk or cow milk?"
Answer: "Cow milk please."
Question: "Milk from Freezeland or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer : " Afrikaner cow please."
Question: " Warm or cold?"
Answer: "Warm please."
Question: "Full cream, low fat or fat free?"
Answer: "Umm .... I'll rather take it black please."
Question: "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar please."
Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar please."
Question: "White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Just forget about the tea. I'll have a glass of water instead
please."
Question: "Mineral or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water please."
Question: "Flavoured or non-flavoured ?"
Answer: "Hey futsek mann! Just get me water from the river... I don't
wanna know which river, and stop asking me too many questions. NXA!

moqothonono wrote:

A story in a small USA town
It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to choose one.
The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.
The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.
The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.
The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.
The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

Undress Me wrote:

Julius Malema enters a Spar Store to buy himself orange juice and sugar. He paid for the juice and walked out with the sugar under his arm , unpaid. He was arrested and locked up. During the court hearing, the judge asked him why did he only pay for the juice and stole the sugar? He replied “auw..VOETSEK man, I do not steal. At the back of the juice bottle said : SUGAR FREE! You think I’m stupid or what

makhina wrote:

motho o tsamaea le khaitseli ea hae.
Motho; "Hoja one ose ngoaneso,ke ne ke tla o fereha"
Khaitseli; "Nka joalo kaha eka ha o abuti"
Moshana a ba fereha khaitseli mme ba lumellana ho ba ileng ba kotana.
ka mora ho kotana
Khaitseli; "Hmm, abuti?"
Motho; "E?"
Khaitseli; "Haeka koma ea hao e feta ea ntate tje?"
Motho; "ke e ke utloe le mme a ntsa cho joalo"

soft marete wrote:

Few Sotho ladies went to jozi to record their 1st album.
U know somewhere they'll stop u, and tell u 2 start afresh n delete; n there were lots of men ko studiong for recording.
When the woman went back home to their husbands, one of the woman was so excited n a qoqela monna wa hae what is happening ko studiong.
"Ntate heee, ntho ene ele moo;ke haele banna fela ba tletse studiong ho le monate;barekota barekota barephumula; barekota barekota, barephumula bare hare etse hantle;ebile re ya kgutlela next week hobane haba qeta horekota."
Monna a hlanya are "Kgidik,mosadi ke wena, wa hlanya ha o saya moo, ba lo o kota hape?......"
Sesotho se monate hona woa haesale!!!!!

Phuthi e Tona wrote:

Ka letsatsi le leng ngoana o ntse a bapala seterateng kapele ho malaene ao ba neng ba lula ho ona. Ebe o se a utloa monnna le le mosali e mong hona malaeneng moo ba qoaketsana ka mantsoe.
Monna: O sefebe mosali tooe khale ke o khalemela
Mosali: Le uena o sefebe, ebile kea tsamaea mona
Ngoana a utloa litaba tsena 'me ha a fihla hae o botsa 'mae.
Ngoana:'M'e, sefebe keng?
'Mae kaho teneha: Ke nthoena eo ke ntseng ke e etsa.(ka nako eo u ntse a luba hlama ea makoenya)
Ngoana a phakisa a tloha pela 'mae kaha one a phahamisitse lentsoe a bont'sa ho teneha.
Sontaha sa Society sa fihla, eaba 'ma ngoana o bolella ngoana hore " o se re khathatse, o bapale ka kamoreng kamoo mme hao hloka letho o hlahe monyako u bue ke tla u tlisetsa"
Ngoana o bapetse ka kamoreng ho fihlela a utloa hore joale tlala e ikakhetse. Eaba ngoana o hlaha monyako joale kaha 'mae amo laile 'me joale bomme ba thola kaofela kalipusano, ha ngoana are ho 'mae.
'MÉ "AKU MPHE LIFEBENYANA TSE PELI MOO KETLO LI JELA KAMOO KAMORENG"

Sash_ wrote:

Teacher: who is jan van riebeeck?
Learner: i don't know sir
Teacher: concentrate on your studies
Learner: Sir, who is Themba Kunene?
Teacher: i don't know
Learner: you must concentrate on your life. Themba Kunene is the man that is sleeping with your wife. O busy ka bo jan van riebeeck batho ba swileng 1000 years ago mara o palwa ke Themba kunene