Honduran men

I see there is a thread on understanding Honduran women. How about the men. I have met a Honduran man who is twenty years younger than me. I think of him as a friend but he says he loves me. The age difference is to great for me - he says in his country - no problem. Men date older women. Is this true? I do not think I can get past the age difference but would welcome any comments on this

Hi mel, I dont want to sound cruel but it is not true that honduran men date older women, not 20 years older at least. It is common that the man is older than the girl though. The ones you see haing out with older women, are usually with them for their money, in your case would be a "green card".
So be careful, I am honduran so I know.
Good luck,

i am a 25 year old american female. i've dated a 28 year old man from honduras for about 1 1/2 years now. we have a 5 month old baby and i reccently found out he has 3 other babies in honduras. the mother of his babies in honduras say they are married but he denies it. is it common for a honduran man to come to america and be with another woman if he is already married?

Hi Jamie, congratulations for your son.
to answer your question, yes, it is kind of common for some honduran men to go and find them an american lady, specially if they travel ilegally because they might see it as an opportunity to get a green card. The other thing is that even when some men try to respect their wives it is hard for them to live away from them and not have sex for years so they feel tempted to try with other women. The other situation is that it is kind of common that some couples in Honduras live together for years without being married specially if they have kids, sometimes they dont get married because of their finantial situation or they dont want a commitment. But if this guy had all 3 kids with different women, that tells you something, he must be a "mujeriego" means one who dates a lot of women, or cheater.
I hope he is not trying to use you, and not all honduran men are bad.

Hi,Anonimous !

How did this HOnduras guy who fathered a child with Jaime get away with marrying an American girl without showing any papers that he has a "single status" ?

I am dating a Honduras man and he told me upfront he has been separated from his wife for 20 years, had a child with a woman 7 years ago and he visits the child and the mother once a year. He told me he must respect her and I am not suppose to be with him or seen with him in that part of Honduras (Trujillo)and she is just the mother of his child. He only has to divorce his wife and he is not responsible legally other than financially supporting his daughter whom he had the daughter with. Is that true under the Honduras law ? Why the other woman agree to such terms and condition ? Is this common ? I am his girlfriend openly and we are together at his social functions and friends in Tegusigalpa. I am confused ! Please explain !!

Hi, it is weird that this guy does not want to be seen with you in Trujillo, he must be hiding something. and es, when a guy divorces a woman he has to support the child finantially untill he reaches 18 years. Another thing, I respect your point of view, but if I were you I would just look for a man who does not have those ties. There are many single out there.
It sounds like this guy is using you

OK, so I have been reading all the posts and I find this topic very interesting. 18 years ago I married a Honduran man. We were both very young and he was in the Honduran Air Force and was here in the US for training and I was in the US Air Force. We hit it off immediately and were inseperable from the day we met.

Two months later we got married, but he had his obligation to the Honduran Air Force, so he had to return to his country. He was going to try to get out of his obligation, get a Visa and return to the US, but it never worked out that way.

I used to call him every other weekend when he was home "on leave". I always got the feeling that there was someone else and that he really had no intention of returning to the US. Because of this, we divorced soon after and didn't have any contact.

Six years later he was working for American Airlines in San Pedro Sula and was in Dallas for training. He went out of his way to contact me because I had since moved. He called my mother and spoke with her and asked for my phone number. I was shocked when she called me and told me that he had called. The next day he called me. We talked so easily and we were so happy to be back in touch with each other. We talked for three nights in a row for hours. We actually made plans to meet again the next time he was in the US. I even considered flying to Dallas at that moment, but didn't want to seem overly eager.

Ok, so 6 months later I get a job transfer and move again (to Arizona). My mother also moved. I have not heard from him since that time he called me when in Dallas 12 years ago and I wonder if he has tried to contact me but has been unable to find me?

Needless to say, 18 years later, I still love this man and my heart aches for him. I am currently married....but not happy. Even though we were together for only a short time, no other relationship since then has compared to the way it was when I was with him. I suppose he is married now with children, but I don't know. I don't think I will ever get over him and I often wonder what it would be like today if we were to find each other again by some miracle.

Anyway, that's my story. Thank you for listening.

anonimous wrote:

Hi, it is weird that this guy does not want to be seen with you in Trujillo, he must be hiding something. and es, when a guy divorces a woman he has to support the child finantially untill he reaches 18 years. Another thing, I respect your point of view, but if I were you I would just look for a man who does not have those ties. There are many single out there.
It sounds like this guy is using you

Hi,

Thanks for your reply but I still do not see how he is using me ? He does not want to come to Canada and he has a very good job so if it is not love, what will he get out of me ? I do not understand him. I am going to Tegus next month and I want to discuss more about our relationship and to move on with my life. There are many men out there unfortunately, he stole my heart and I really love him !! Why can't he sees that I am sincere and honest with my love? What does he gain from being not making any commitments ? Where will end up when he is old ? With any women who would keep him ?
Please tell me more about this is Honduras culture or common normal lifestyle ? I must learn ! I ask him if he is a "Mujeriego" he says no ! He only love one woman at a time and he did not lie to me about his past and he told me at the beginning of our courtship.

Joannel, your story has a beautiful and sad side, maybe you had to follow him to Honduras since the beginning and you would not have to go through all this, my personal opinion is that whe you marry a man, you have to follow him because he is the head of the home like the Bible says, God is man's head and man is home's head, I see there was love there but someone you did not know how to deal with distance, and I know the feeling about loving someone and then move on, you never get to forget that special someone completely. If it is in God's plans you will get to see him someday.
CANADIAN LADY,
I did not want to offend you when I said he might be using you, it was just a hipothesis. It is not common Hondunran culture for men having many women at a time, I know it happens everywhere in the world, but sometimes a few get out of the line. Maybe he likes Honduras so much that is not willing to move where you are, specially when it is so cold in Canada, would you be willing to move to Honduras? maybe that is what he wants.
THis guy is a mistery.
I wish you good luck

anonimous wrote:

Joannel, your story has a beautiful and sad side, maybe you had to follow him to Honduras since the beginning and you would not have to go through all this, my personal opinion is that whe you marry a man, you have to follow him because he is the head of the home like the Bible says, God is man's head and man is home's head, I see there was love there but someone you did not know how to deal with distance, and I know the feeling about loving someone and then move on, you never get to forget that special someone completely. If it is in God's plans you will get to see him someday.
CANADIAN LADY,
I did not want to offend you when I said he might be using you, it was just a hipothesis. It is not common Hondunran culture for men having many women at a time, I know it happens everywhere in the world, but sometimes a few get out of the line. Maybe he likes Honduras so much that is not willing to move where you are, specially when it is so cold in Canada, would you be willing to move to Honduras? maybe that is what he wants.
THis guy is a mistery.
I wish you good luck

Hi, anonimous !
He is not a mystery but a very high ranking military officer. He feels that he is a somebody in Honduras why should he move to Canada and be a nobody, working in some construction site or something like that.Also, he has been in the military since he was 17 years old and he knows nothing else and he is afraid if he is unable to find any job because he still has to support his children, where 2 of them are in college, age 17 and 19. He doesn't want me to move to Honduras because his missions take him everywhere and I do not speak Spanish. I will only cause him more worries and he would not be able to concentrate on his job. Also, I am a very attractive woman and he is very insecure if he leaves me alone in Tegusigalpa because everytime we are together, men just stare at me and he doesn't like that. His friends were trying to seduce me as well. Who doesn't want an attractive woman with a good job and a ready made home plus a passport to get out of Honduras but my lover. I have to admit that I have a very good job in Canada and I make much more money than he ever will be so his machismo will not allow him to live under such condition in Canada. I don't know how long I can carry on this love affair because I need a husband, a friend,a full time lover and companion, not this sort of yes I love you but I dont' have time to see you. I know it is a losing battle because nothing comes before serving his country. He loves the military and it is so painful to see him loving the military life more than what I have to offer !! Sad isn't it ?

Hey "Confused" I kind of unterstand your guy because I have lived in a military environment, and yes! high rank officers have a very good position in society, so like you said who would want to quit that live and go to another country doing construction work or anything else?
Another thing, and not to dissapoint you, if you are beautiful, why wouldn't this guy want to take you to the places he goes to? I mean, he would be pround of having you with him, it's very flattering to have a good looking person with you, so I dont understand. Oh, usually, military men are "kind" of "mujeriegos" I know, believe me, it is common. if you ask other Honduran women what they think about soldiers, they will tell you the same thing I did. So my dear lady, you said you want a husband, a friend...it does not sound like this man is the one you need no matter how much you love him. If you are beautiful you will not have a hard time finding a good man.
Chao

anonimous wrote:

Joannel, your story has a beautiful and sad side, maybe you had to follow him to Honduras since the beginning and you would not have to go through all this, my personal opinion is that whe you marry a man, you have to follow him because he is the head of the home like the Bible says, God is man's head and man is home's head, I see there was love there but someone you did not know how to deal with distance, and I know the feeling about loving someone and then move on, you never get to forget that special someone completely. If it is in God's plans you will get to see him someday.

Anonimous - Thank you for your reply...you seem to understand very well what I am feeling. And yes, you are correct, we were both very young and didn't understand how to handle a long distance relationship. Before we divorced, I even offered to go to Honduras to be with him, but he said no because he didn't know how he would take care of me. He was still living at home with his parents when he was not away at the "academy" ( Honduran Air Force). I told him that it didn't matter and we could figure it out, but he still said no.

So,I am going to Honduras this December on vacation. I have always wanted to see the country and I am going to SPS, Copan Ruinas, La Ceiba and some other areas. It is an 8 day trip which I am doing with a tour group. So, let me ask your opinion: I still have his address and phone number from when he lived at home with his parents. When I am in SPS, do I attempt to contact him and see if I am able to find him? I would really love to see him, but I don't want to cause any problems for him if he is married. He is 36 years old now and I would think that he is married with a family and I love him too much to cause any problems. Do you know what I mean? What do you think?

Hi Joanne!

I am glad you are going to Honduras after all these years. It is time to have a closure on your feelings and it is not fair to yuorself and your present partner if you are still in love with this man. The phone number in Honduras has change and if I were you, I would find someone who speaks Spanish to call on your behalf to see if the phone number is correct. They do not move around much so you will find his parents or ask around the negibours or if you have any phone number of his friends from the past. Remember, he a pilot now so he may not be in Honduras when you get there. Usually, the wife does not live with his family. The women either live on their own if the husband can afford to keep his own household or they live with their mother.
I really wish you would have gone alone instead of with a group because that will give you time and privacy. Many People speaks English now in big cities.
I am a very emotional and romantic person and I am also dating a military man in the Honduras Navy for 2 years now and we both wanted to give it a try because like yourself, I tried dating other men but my heart always goes back to him, the one I love and desire. There are many lonely days and nights as friends cannot replace a lover. I also understand why he doesn't want you to live in Honduras because that will be a big burden as for me, I do not speak Spanish and he finds that he will not be able to work and always worry about me. That is why he is not giving up his career and I am not to move there and I am glad I did not because their salary is very minimal and what would we do to occupy ourselves when they are away working ? The unemployment rate is very high and my lover was trianed in Atlanta,Georgia and SanDiego before so he knows what we North American women lifestyle is like and they are very proud men and since they are not able to provide the comfort, they rather not have us move there. Also, there is in increasing wave of kidnapping, gang violence and narcotraffic and it's just unsafe for us foreigners living among the locals. Another way of locating your lover is to conact American Airlines to find the office and phone in San Pedro Sula and contact them to find out if he is still working there and how could you leave him a message or contact him. That would be a another way of locating him.
I love seeing a good ending and don not feel that you must stay in an unhappy marriage because we women do that too often and always look after others feelings first. I wish you a happy ending and do not be afraid to fight for what you love if the feeling is mutual.
I wish I would have a happy ending myself ! I will be going there in April. I used to go ther 4 times a year until my lover was assign to some other missions in a a rather remote area for 12 months. I feel for you but do not be afraid. If you find love again with him, do not give it up and let go ! Be happy !

anonimous wrote:

Hey "Confused" I kind of unterstand your guy because I have lived in a military environment, and yes! high rank officers have a very good position in society, so like you said who would want to quit that live and go to another country doing construction work or anything else?
Another thing, and not to dissapoint you, if you are beautiful, why wouldn't this guy want to take you to the places he goes to? I mean, he would be pround of having you with him, it's very flattering to have a good looking person with you, so I dont understand. Oh, usually, military men are "kind" of "mujeriegos" I know, believe me, it is common. if you ask other Honduran women what they think about soldiers, they will tell you the same thing I did. So my dear lady, you said you want a husband, a friend...it does not sound like this man is the one you need no matter how much you love him. If you are beautiful you will not have a hard time finding a good man.
Chao

Hi, anonimous !

You misunderstood me ! We go to all places together and only Trujillo where he last lived and had a daughter with a woman 7 years ago. I have checked it out with his friends and other sources at the Batallon and he is a o.k man. No other women and has a good record being a dedicated soldier. I am in love but not naive ! I have met his General at head office and all that. Sometimes love has nothing to do with looks. Many men tried to flirt with me but my heart only has him. Now that I have read Joanne's letter, I feel like I should not give up but try my best to work things out because I do not want to live with a man I am not happy with but yearn for the one I give up. As for the mujeriego, I don't think so because he has no time and when we talk mostly at night, he is always there and I check with the Batallon too about what he told me in relates to his schedules. They all know me so I do not have a problem with him, fooling around. The only painful thing is that how long will this long distance affair last ? I hate getting up alone, going to dinners and parties at friends' house alone and I hardly go to a movie or dancing anymore because when I am with a group of friends, it's him I miss and I always ended heartbroken. Why can't he see that on the long run it is better for us ?? I will give him a very comfortable life together and his old age will be look after. Perhaps you can tell me how a military man thinks in Honduras.

if any gringuita want to learn spanish they can come to my school in trujillo, www.bravospanishschool.com
plus we all man here speak some english, for any one willing to date a (trujillo man)

Hi Confused

Thank you so much for your reply. Although I will be going with a tour group to Honduras, I will have 2 days alone in SPS before the tour begins. I have arranged it that way just in case I am able to find him. I remember reading that the phone numbers have changed and I still also have the street address. Do you think I will be able to find someone in SPS that will be willing to help me call the number and/or go to his address? I speak a little bit of Spanish, but I am not fluent. I must admit that I am a little afraid of being in SPS alone for this first few days, but I have heard that people are very kind and willing to help foreigners. Has that been your experience?

And you are right...I do need closure to this. If he is married and happy, then I will accept that. But I still wonder if he thinks of me everyday like I think of him? I have to know these things before I can try once again to move on. It has been a very long time, 18 years, but I still cannot let go of this part of my life. Sometimes I wish I had it back because I would do things so differently now. I constantly wonder what things would have been like if we were still together. We married on March 29, 1989, and every time March 29 comes around, I get so sad. I have pictures of us and I am always looking at them and remembering the good times.

I agree that Honduran men are very proud and that is the reason why he would not let me go there. I used to wonder why he wouldn't want to come to the U.S., but in hindsight, I realize that it was because he was a proud man ( even though he was only 18 at the time).

I wish you the best with your man and I hope everything can work itself out. From your notes, I do believe that he loves you, but it is such a difficult situation because they are such proud men. I guess I am an example of what you don't want to happen. 18 years later and my heart is still in torment.

I wish you the best and I hope we can keep in touch. I would really like to know how it goes when you go there to see him in April.

Joanne

if any gringa is loking for a sweet man who dosent need green card to live toguether in trujillo send me a picture, i own a spanish school and used to live in europe for more then 10 years so i do have a belgium nationality and i can travel to us and canada with out any problem im 34 years old.

Hi, Joanne !
I'm so glad you haven't given up and is checking the site often. There are some things I wish we could discuss in "private" rather than posting it on the site. I do have alot of contacts in Honduras and I did alot of Charity work. I donate some money whenever I can to people I happen to know on my trips to Honduras. I can help you with the phone if you want it. You can call from the States to find out if the number is correct if you have the proper name and address of the person. The operator is quite helpful if you speak Spanish. Do not wait till you get there only then you try to find him. That would be too late. Start the search now. I have several websites which can be helpful. Do not wait till you get there because he is a pilot and he is not going to be there when you are there. You must start searching now.
It is painful as our 2nd year anniversary was on March 14th and we talked on the phone for 1/2 an hour trying to remember the place we met and how our conversation started and how in 4 days we fell in love with each other and he rushed through the airport security in his uniform with his bodyguards and he took me away in his military truck so that we could have 10 minutes together to express our feelings for each other and everyone on the same plane thought that I was arrested for something and I had caused a scene. I returned a month later to reassure our feelings and I haven't regretted since even though it comes with alot of tears and pain. After reading your story, I really do not want the same to happen to me and I must try my best to see how we can work something out. Yeah ! People tends to think we are crazy to carry on this love affair because we are against all odds, especially when anonimous was telling me most military men are womenizer. Somehow I can feel it as we are more mature and are in our 40's and there's no need to play games because he doesn't need a green card to come here and I do not need him to father me a child to rob him of any support payments. When we are together, we danced all night and talked all night like 2 kids. When I am not there. his friend told me he never go dancing. They envy us like mad as when we dance, we held each other very close and really feel each other's emotion along with the songs and his friends use to tease us being like 2 young kids falling in love. These are the things I cherish and keep close to my heart and yet it's painful because of our situation. I understand how you feel.
I would love to continue to write and be a friend in a more private environment.

Hi Confused!

I am so glad that I found this site and that I found someone who totally understands. I know the pain that you are going through...believe me. It hurts so much because you both are in different places and nights can be very lonely. It makes the time that you do spend together even the more precious.

I smiled when you said that when you dance you hold each other close and can really feel the emotion. That is how it was with Julio! People also used to envy us...just the way that we looked at each other and how much in love that we were. And yes...when I told people that I married him but he had to go back to his country they thought I was out of my mind. I guess they could not understand loving a person that much. I don't know. I just wish that I was able to prove them wrong.

So, did you meet your man when you were there doing charity work? I loved the story of when he picked you up at the airport and whisked you away. That is so romantic!

Yes, I would also like to talk in a more private environment. Is there a way to do private messaging on here or to contact someone by their profile? I am new to the site, so I don't know these things. If I need to post my email address in the forum, I will do that just so we can stay in touch.

Joanne

I am willing to give my temporary e-mail address and then we can switch to our regular e-mail so that we do have some privacy.
I have just set this up at llee4@toronto.ca so e-mail me and we can swap e-mail address later.

I have so much to share with you but not to the public !