10 Things to Do While Visiting Wytheville, Virginia

1. Get run over by a drunk judge.

2. Get taken to court for being in front of the drunken judge.

3. Stop by the post office to get shot by someone else who just came from court with there head swimming.

3. Comp a bag from the county cops.

4. Go to china for a girl with the rest of the judges.

5. Talk about each other.

6. Halt progress.

7. Be part of the biggest STD drive since the 20's

8. Get caught in a speed trap.

9. Overdose with a county cop only you go to jail.

10. look for a way out

Don't go to the post office!

VampireGirl wrote:

Don't go to the post office!

Yea, stay away from the post office unless you have a pizza.

?

"Cute" thread - guess your dog doesn't need kicking tonight or you wouldn't have time to make light of such a serious and dangerous situation. I can only hope your family never have to suffer through a similar event, or perhaps you wouldn't find it nearly so humerous. Thank God all are safe and unharmed.

Is that town up there a nice place to live? Are southern peolpe welcome? If so, who builds a good house and where is a nice neighborhood?
Thank you very much!

Also, dont ride through town after 11PM. I live near Saltville, so Wythville is not far away. One night I was just out riding around lost in my thoughts and ended up in Wythville. Now abit of background..I am not a teenager, hell I am knocking on 40 real fast. I am a family man who has never been in trouble with the law (cept for a few traffic tickets) I am a State employee etc. So anyways, I am going up mainstreet when I get blue lighted. I pull over and ask what is wrong, I am told to "hush, I am asking the questions" I am asked for my license, registration etc. asked what I was doing (I replied riding around) then was told that you could not ride around in town limits after 10pm. WOW, anyway, I pulled out after bieng "warned" and rode around some more, I was pulled over after 5 minutes and was told "thought I told you to leave town" to which I said 'yes you did, but i am doing nothing wrong and I can ride around if I want to. He then told me i had 2 minutes to hit the interstate or go to jail after a good ass kicking for resisting arrest. I took the hint and haven't been back to Wythville in along time.....although now that I have video on my cell phone perhaps it is time to cruise abit more....

Marty wrote:

Is that town up there a nice place to live? Are southern peolpe welcome? If so, who builds a good house and where is a nice neighborhood?
Thank you very much!

Where is Lawndale?

Wrath, Wytheville is paradise compared to Marion

old dog wrote:

Wrath, Wytheville is paradise compared to Marion

Yeah right, I`d rather be in Marion. I went to college up there, you couldn`t give me a house there.

I moved to wytheville two years ago and I really like it here. I like the small town atmosphere.

#1 Get on your knees and thank God that you are only passing through on your way home to the beautiful and civilized northeast.
#2 Repeat #1 and also give thanks for not having car trouble and breaking down in this hole.
#3 Repeat #1 and #2 and add third prayer of thanks for having the foresight not to eat at local restaurants where you will be served by toothless, tattoo-covered servers who reek of cigarette smoke.
#4 Repeat #1,#2,#3 and when you realize Crappalachian towns are all the same, floor it and pray you don't get a ticket.

yankster wrote:

#1 Get on your knees and thank God that you are only passing through on your way home to the beautiful and civilized northeast.
#2 Repeat #1 and also give thanks for not having car trouble and breaking down in this hole.
#3 Repeat #1 and #2 and add third prayer of thanks for having the foresight not to eat at local restaurants where you will be served by toothless, tattoo-covered servers who reek of cigarette smoke.
#4 Repeat #1,#2,#3 and when you realize Crappalachian towns are all the same, floor it and pray you don't get a ticket.

I never realized Jonesboro is the epicenter of culture, but I'm certainly glad you've found a place in "Crappalachia" that will have you. I'd imagine most of us would show you genuine Southern hospitality by helping you load your U Haul and aiming you up 81 anytime you'd like.

What a jerk!

wrathchild3777 wrote:

Also, dont ride through town after 11PM. I live near Saltville, so Wythville is not far away. One night I was just out riding around lost in my thoughts and ended up in Wythville. Now abit of background..I am not a teenager, hell I am knocking on 40 real fast. I am a family man who has never been in trouble with the law (cept for a few traffic tickets) I am a State employee etc. So anyways, I am going up mainstreet when I get blue lighted. I pull over and ask what is wrong, I am told to "hush, I am asking the questions" I am asked for my license, registration etc. asked what I was doing (I replied riding around) then was told that you could not ride around in town limits after 10pm. WOW, anyway, I pulled out after bieng "warned" and rode around some more, I was pulled over after 5 minutes and was told "thought I told you to leave town" to which I said 'yes you did, but i am doing nothing wrong and I can ride around if I want to. He then told me i had 2 minutes to hit the interstate or go to jail after a good ass kicking for resisting arrest. I took the hint and haven't been back to Wythville in along time.....although now that I have video on my cell phone perhaps it is time to cruise abit more....

The cops around here are gutless assholes. We have not had a legitimate sheriff department since way before pikes corrupt bunch of ass holes ruled the streets. Half the bunch is still in there holding down the fort fort his return I think. The rest got basically shown the road. What tickled me the most was when he quit his job as Sheriff then his little jerk off son ran and when he did not win pike came back got on the radio and vowed to finish his sheriff job and revenge upon wythe county. Hell when people ran against him his department ran around yanking up the signs building bond fires and partying all night around them. They were even caught red handed doing that. Bear in mind Doug King was picked straight out of pikes ass. Yes the cops her are a bunch of punk ass bitches with smart ass little mouths. I guess they sharpen their skills on their mothers or something because I've popped close to four of their little dick suckers for them and did my time with pride.

Hmm wrote:

"Cute" thread - guess your dog doesn't need kicking tonight or you wouldn't have time to make light of such a serious and dangerous situation. I can only hope your family never have to suffer through a similar event, or perhaps you wouldn't find it nearly so humerous. Thank God all are safe and unharmed.

Really, no wait do you really freaking even know where wytheville is? Have you been there? Are you for real? You got to be the mayor.

i was sent to live in wytheville back in the early 90's at presbyterian children's home. it was a great place considering where i came from. i wonder whatever happen to everybody...the ones i remember...bobby lineberry...jaime godsey...eddie spencer..chris smith...antwan lake...kevin chandler...derrick??...catheri ne moore...marietta witcher..katie??..the twin sisters...we all had fun and learnd alot.

yes sir wrote:

<quoted text>
Really, no wait do you really freaking even know where wytheville is? Have you been there? Are you for real? You got to be the mayor.

Of course I know where Wytheville is - what a stupid question. Attended school there, matter of fact. Have lived in Wythe County most all my life. But to the point of my original post, I think it is most insensitive for someone to post such idiocy when there was a very real threat - this appeared the night of the hostage situation at the post office, and several Wythe Countians were in fear for their lives. Their families and friends were going through a gutwrenching nightmare, and some jackass decides to be cute? What had it been your mother that had been trapped inside? Funny then???

I'm not the mayor, just someone who has compassion and a brain larger than the size of a pea. See if you can pick one up at the IGA next time you're there, genius.

Shane Funk, yes sir, Shane, etc.........is just a little punk that got his ass busted and now has an extreme distain toward authority. He says he beat up cops but an online record shows only misdemeanors which anything involving a cop would be a felony.
If Shane hates Wytheville so bad I'm sure his welfare, food stamp, Cardinal Card will transfer across the state.
He probably is one of those nasty ass neighbors you had to have that lay out and drinks Natural Light all the time and bitch when they offer NOTHING to the good of mankind

Shane is Gay wrote:

Shane Funk, yes sir, Shane, etc.........is just a little punk that got his ass busted and now has an extreme distain toward authority. He says he beat up cops but an online record shows only misdemeanors which anything involving a cop would be a felony.
If Shane hates Wytheville so bad I'm sure his welfare, food stamp, Cardinal Card will transfer across the state.
He probably is one of those nasty ass neighbors you had to have that lay out and drinks Natural Light all the time and bitch when they offer NOTHING to the good of mankind

You really have the wrong Shane I know a Shane but the one I know would not bother to respond to you or entertain such a mess as this one. The Shane I know has had his share of trouble but don't live in Wytheville. The Shane I know loved nothing but to fight with the cops since he was small. The only thing I can think of different about the shane's is the fact the one I know just really don't give a shit about anything other than himself. Its pretty safe to say and really stands to reason that you should pay him a visit for yourself, either of the three or so would take a bat to your head but the Shane I know would then hide you and get very much away with it. Yea, you would figure it out real quick. I'm pretty sure he is in the phone book in Montgomery CO. look him up.

Shane is Gay wrote:

Shane Funk, yes sir, Shane, etc.........is just a little punk that got his ass busted and now has an extreme distain toward authority. He says he beat up cops but an online record shows only misdemeanors which anything involving a cop would be a felony.
If Shane hates Wytheville so bad I'm sure his welfare, food stamp, Cardinal Card will transfer across the state.
He probably is one of those nasty ass neighbors you had to have that lay out and drinks Natural Light all the time and bitch when they offer NOTHING to the good of mankind

Yea I got it a long time ago. You should do a little homework and yes anything involving those bastards usually is a felony. Ha bitch I said it again I hate a cop. I hate cops. I hate cops. I hate cops. Now stop dragging me in your shit because I hate cops so bad I get ill discussing them.