Our favorite Pirate Queen, Ms. One eyed Jack-Arse Ms. Marie Colvin is bitter about the loss her left eye (or was it both her eyes?) in SL in 2001 … Taking a risk of being smuggled to The Greater Empire of Tiger Eelam and seeing it in its greatest glory she forgot the relevant ‘holiday Sinhala’ she studied diligently during the flight here. On her return to the tiny Genocidal state of Sri Lankan, via the front-lines, instead of speaking the Kallathoi Bothal-Karaya dialect " Pattharray Pattharay, Bothal Bothal" she quite foolishly resorted to screaming “Journalist, journalist.”.
The moment the stupid mono-linguistic Singhaloid Soldier with a trigger happy finger heard this he let loose with his RPG injuring poor Marie’s eyes and frontal lobes. We now bring to you a News Update from our very own lovable decorticated journalist cum peace negotiator who has a sexual predisposition for cuddly Freedom fighters
Ms. Colvin’s reveals to us that she had divination through her cell phone and that a white-washed ghost of Nadesan, the Chief Tiger propaganda lead came onto her as a "credible political leader for the Tamil minority" for the future. The ghost she recalled was one of the cuddly threesome, including the ‘always grimacing spotty Puleedevan’.
They had sealed an everlasting friendship during her earlier tryst into our Eelam. The ghost went on to tell her that in order to save his skin (plasma) he was denouncing all his past acts of terrorism, including suicide bombings. He the "Sun-God mouth piece Nadesan" and Pulee now favored a political solution to the conflict ‘at this very last minute’, to save his plasma. Ms. Colvin suggested that Nadesan should be selected to lead all of us into a united Eelam (AKA Sri Lanka!)
She indicated that he should carry a "white flag high, as high as possible". She also knew that a better outcome to the Second World War would have occurred had she promoted the ball-less Nazi Paul Joseph Goebbels as the chancellor instead of Velupillai Prabhakaran… sorry Hitler!
Nadesan informed Marie that the Tigers are "silencing their guns" , that a large stock of silencers would easily do the trick, never mind the cannons, rocket launchers and SA missiles. Thalaivar who had been bravely battering the invading Sinhaloids in the Great Eelam war had needed some shut-eye … the only way to throttle the excuses Fonseka had to thus cause an ‘almighty din’ was to resort to some sort of "silence of the guns". You would see quite clearly that the poor Thalaivar has a splitting headache due to the incessant noise and couldn’t even shut his eyes. He has resorted to keep them open forever, even when sleeping …. Remember this you Donkey Eelamists, our Sun-God is all seeing and all knowing!
Ms. Colvin tried desperately to bring this news to the attention of Bang – Key in the UN, God-on in London and O-Bummer in USA but to no avail. She even appealed to that demon Rajapaksha only to be told that he (The Devil) has faith in his Singhaloid Forces of Evil, that they would do "what is right". Ms. Colvin is very sorry about the gang-bang that followed and the almighty BBQ.
Nadasan plasma seems to have been bottled and used as sauce at the BBQ to flavor the fat Tiger Pigs chops. "Just too bad!" ,"too bad". Ms Colvin is very weepy from her blind eye(s) and our old Tigger is not so bouncy now. Fonseka now makes a lame excuse that they did not see the white flag because it was hoisted "too high" and that the stupid Singhaloid Soldier couldn’t look upwards because of a neck sprain. So Sad !
Volunteer Correspondent Ferdinand Salvador.