|
will and jack
Swindon, UK
|
got any mace that shit turn's me on
|
|
Broski678
Springfield, MO
|
Here is are funny ones.
1. I smell bacon!
2. If I pay you in doughnuts, will you let me leave?
3. Hey, wanna race?
|
|
Broski678
Springfield, MO
|
|
|
funny stuff
New York, NY
|
|
|
experienced n00b
Camborne, UK
|
You: Well, if you don't want to let me go, I have ways of making you...*tucks £100 into cop's pocket*
Cop:*slowly pulling putting handcuffs on you and dragging you towards the car* Yes... now, come with me...
OK, that's not funny. This is:
Female cop: Anything you say can and will be held against you.
Stupid guy: Boobies...
Cop: You have the right to remain silent.
You: I choose to ignore that right!
Cop: I'll let you go if you can give me a 2 word description of why you were speeding.
Guy: Ass rape...
Cop:*after extremely long 'warning'. Now do you see why you shouldn't drink and drive?
Drunk: Yes, officer!
Cop: Why?
Drunk: You might spill the drink!
Guy:*stares at officer*
Cop: Uh... listen dude, I'll let you go if you stop staring at my crotch.
Guy: NO DEAL!
|
|
ioitigunn
Chico, CA
|
I got here as fast as i could...
|
|
skintphiskint
Clearwater, FL
|
Officer ask do you know how fast you where going "no I was to busy keeping eyes on road"
|
|
“WIFEY_HARRISON”
Since: Jan 12
Location hidden
|
Please wait...
when he asks you do you kno why he pulled you over.. DONT SAY, "Im not sure osifer, Your buddie that jus stoped me said i was drivin too fast!!!!"
|
|
|
|
“Destroying anything in my path”
Since: Dec 11
in hell
|
Please wait...
hey officer, these handcuff's wont fit my arms! good try though..
|
|
Jim
Westminster, CA
|
Independent and Proud wrote: I'm going to step it up a notch and add these things in. Anyone from a big city? Don't say to an African-American or Latin cop anything about his race, who they voted for, or any demeaning names. I remember last summer there was a fire on my block. The officer that responded (last name was Lopez or something) arrived late, looked confused and instead of running out of his car, he casually walks. I called him a beaner while his back was turned. Lucky thing he didn't hear me or I would be arrested for racism. My town is liberal (not Bay Area liberal) but democrat. My mom didn't like me shouting that either and said that Latin people are really nice and that there are many nationalities of Latinos living my part of Illinois. Still very funny to call any African-American, Mexican, Spaniard, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Italian, Greek... a funny name. Just look at their reaction. Your a lump of shit
|
|
two 345
Odessa, MO
|
Im not to drink to drive officer!!!!!!!
|
|
mr_ men
Swansea, UK
|
your not going to check the boot are you officer
|
|
LOOOOOOOL
Chatswood, Australia
|
Cop: "Are you aware of the speed you were doing?"
Driver: "Yeah, baby!" *with a wink*
Cop: "Why didn't you pull over when you saw I was following?"
Driver: "Oh, I thought you were challenging me to a race. Hey, even cops like the occasional race here and there."
Cop: "Sir, please step out of the car"
Driver: "I would, but you see- I don't want to."
|
|
Michael
Lake City, SC
|
I ain't drunk. Hold my beer and I'll show ya.
|
|
meee
Sanford, FL
|
28. Do you like donuts? I like donuts. Where's your favorite donut place? REALLY! SO IS MINE! OHMYGOSH WE ARE SIBLINGS SEPARATED AT BIRTH. Are you kidding? You look a lot like me. What ticket? To Disneyland? Aw, you shouldn't have, man. What do you mean it's a speeding ticket. Where is speeding? We should go there some time, really bond. And I am insisting that YOU ARE my long lost brother. Look in the mirror.*cop unwillingly sighs and looks in the mirror**you bash officer's head into the mirror and drive off* SO LONG SUCKER. DON'T LOOK AT MY LICENSE PLATE NUMBER
|
|
Alex the unicorn
Staten Island, NY
|
29) Scream "OMG YOU'RE SO HOT!!"
30) Say at the same time he does "Can I see your license and registration?"
31) "I don't know why my radar detector didn't pick you up...."
32) Say "Oh wait, yeah it did, you were hiding behind that sign, right?"
33) Burst into tears
34) If he asks you to get out of the car, immediately throw yourself onto the hood
|
|
haha
Wynnewood, PA
|
|
|
that 1 kid
Waukee, IA
|
i thought u were bringing my ex wife back officer, thats why i ran.
|
|
kathie
Saint Louis, MO
|
awesome
Hey my girlfriend opened the bar get in the back
|
|
Uberbanana
Fort Qu'appelle, Canada
|
29. Is it already halloween? nice costume! Your mom's car looks so much like a police car too! How and where did you get the awesome paint job? You are an artist, sir!
30. Aww, what a cute little police officer! You wanna donut boy? Go fetch!*throws donut, takes picture* This will go nicely on my cute animals blog!
|
|
Tell me when this thread is updated:
(Registration is not required)
Add to my Tracker
Send me an email
|
Scorpio
