Winkler "free" of jail in seven days

Minister's Wife Speaks Out On Mary Winkler
Sarah Hudson Pierce
Had I known then what I know now I would not have been so ready to jump into the hot bed of being a minister's wife!
From the age of fourteen I prayed to be a minister's wife. Having become a member of the Church of Christ, the same as Mary Winkler, I feel a connection to Mary.
At the age of nineteen I met my future husband at a Christian University. I thought I was destined to marry and was I in for an awakening!
I don't know if it was just a wrong choice on my part, although that may have been part of how I found myself in the spot that I remained for twenty-seven years before it got so bad that I had to get out!
It was not only move, move, move, to seventeen churches in those years but it was what went on behind closed doors. It is hard for those in the pews to visualize the abuse that minister's wives take. The minister's wife feels that she has to keep her mouth shut or the family will lose their paycheck.
After only three weeks of marriage I was kicked out of the marital bed except for when I was "needed" ! I felt so alone and unloved, yet on worship days I had to put on my smile keep up my shield.
The minister's wife and family falls into the trap of having to appear perfect and sometimes perfect is just too hard and too fake of a front to keep up year in and year out.
I found the emotional starvation to be more than I could stand.
I also suffered a nervous breakdown and kept it hidden.
I also was forbidden to work outside the home which made me even more scared to break and run.
Not only was it move, move, move but I felt that I was never really accepted within the inner circles. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in and I felt undue pressure for my children to always be picture perfect and anyone can imagine the pressure that adds to the entire family circle.
And within the average Church of Christ there are no contracts or most often no health insurance or retirement plans not to mention that being an independent group the minister is left on his own to find his next church when one folds or pushes him out the door.
I also suffered physical abuse which I will not delve into because I don't think it is germane to my story.
What I am here to say is that having grown up in an orphanage after my dad died I am just amazed that I didn't do what Mary did. God must have really kept me surrounded by His protection to have prevented that from happening.
I think this story of Mary Winkler is more than a story about a murder. I think it happened for a higher reason. I believe God may be wanting to use Mary's testimony to open some eyes to the falseness that more often than we want to realize prevails behind the parsonage door. And it isn't just the parsonage doors. I think that many church members do not grow up to the extent to see people as people -- even Christians -- to just be flawed individuals and that it is unfair for a minister and his wife to speak in hallowed tones and to bear the burden of appearing perfect!
How we get around it I don't know. Having been on my own for thirteen years I feel closer to God than ever and I sense that God doesn't walk into many church houses either as I have grown sick of "church house" religion for whatever that means.
(One thing that did help me somewhat during that time was I turned to poetry and had five books published, much to my minister husband's dismay.)
From the moment I heard Mary's story I laid out her picture and anointed it with oil and thanked God in advance that He was going to pull her through. I have spoken to some of the church members in Selmer as well as Mary's dad and I believe that God is going to use Mary to open eyes that prefer to be blind to the masks that we wear that need to be pulled off and thrown away! And I am here to do my part!
Sarah Hudson Pierce
Ritzpublications.com
www.sarahhudsonpierce.net
www.turleyhomehopeharbororphanspage.org

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