hey all i wrote a short story about The doctor and Rose

well please read it and tell me what you think. I spent a long time writing this but i love it. I will put sections on, here we go.

Open with Rose walking down the street in her dimension. she looks up to see BAD WOLF wrote on the side of the wall.(flash back to Rose and the Doctor) she stops, leans against the wall and cries. A strip of gold energy from when she looked in to the heart of the tardis floats off from her tears.
(goto) the Tardis lands in the same spot in this dimension. the Doctor opens the door and walks out.
Doctor--- wonder why i landed here this isnt paris 2010, this is England. Tardis must be sick again (as he stokes her side)
he looks ahead of him and sees BAD WOLF wrote there. He walks slowly over to it (flashback of him and Rose) and runs his fingers over it.
Doctor--- Rose (sadly)
from behind someone hits him over the head and he falls. as they start to take him and the tardis away, the gold energy strip goes into the Tardis, it disappears to their surprise.
the Tardis flows through space and time, it appears right in front of Rose. she jumps up in excitment
Rose--- DOCTOR
but no answer, no Doctor. the door opens to the Tardis and Rose runs in calling him, but no one is there. suddenly the Tardis takes off in to space.
when it sets down, its in the same place the Doctor was taken. Rose walks out and standing there is Jack and the Torchwood crew.
Jack--- Rose is that you but i thought you were gone, another dimension or something?(very surprised)
Rose ---(running over to hug him) dont know how but long time no see Captain
Jack --- wheres the Doctor?
Rose --- donno (sadly)
Jack --- come on we will take you back to Torchwood to sort it out

Way too easy. I think if i saw that on TV i'd lose all my faith in Dr Who, but good try anyway.