Online gaming addiction takes toll on husband, kids

Wowcraft husband LW wrote:

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Drank beer for years. last one got worse coinciding with the game to make a nice self servicing spiral for both of us.
I work and have often been the main source of income. The inheritance was pretty big, so she has enough money to be independent on her own for the rest of her life. The only money issues are between the two of us. There's plenty of money.
The affair (fling really, two times)was real.
never thought I was cheating on her. Never had reason to.
The kids are 15 & 17 and old beyond their years. They supported her when I drank and support me more now, but love us both. No major emotional damage so far as they are pretty independent. We're both pretty good parents.She doesn't completely neglect the kids. and is playing somewhat less these days.
It's important to note that my explanation of why I forgave and tried to continue on was edited out of the original letter, which might have diverted some of the more vitriolic attacks on my manhood. This letter was also written a while ago. Things are fractionally better, but not a lot.

Thanks for filling in some of the blanks. I'm glad things are somewhat better, but it sounds like she's doing the bare minimum. If you've completely quit drinking, I would suggest to her that you've realized halfway measures don't work, & she should too. Tell her this withdrawal from life is going to wind up with her being completely alone. One day soon, the kids will be gone & so will you if she can't change.
It sounds like she started this behavior about the time the kids started hitting their teens & being more independent. Start planning fun family activities, & push hard for her to go with you. The kids will be happy to help... assuming you do find something really fun for all of you! If she sees that you are out bonding with the kids, she may realize she is missing something precious.
It does sound like problems were building for a while before she started her gaming addiction. It's going to take a *lot* of hard work from both of you to rebuild the marriage. It may be impossible. Start planning now for your future, & the future of the kids (college bound I hope!) if she isn't around.

Best of luck!

Grow some balls, WalkingEggshells. Show that bitch who's boss.

nova0311 wrote:

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Link please. It's too late for this season, but I'd be interested in next year.

www.racervers.net

Racer X wrote:

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www.racervers.net

That link isn't working for me. Can you confirm the URL? Thanks!

TTFN wrote:

LW1 - aside from what Amy suggested, why doesn't he remove all computers from the house and take away her ability to purchase a new one?
LW2 - Add "that's so gay" to the list right after "retarded."
LW3 - I'm going to pretend I didn't even read this one.

Oh yes, that will totally fix everything. Lock her in a closet with some bread and water and her addiction will magically disappear!

I think that her addiction is a problem, but a lot of people seem to think that it's not a real problem, and that violating his wife's rights as a human being by destroying her property and taking her finances away so that she can't purchase anything, is the prime solution. This seems unfair and controlling to me, not to mention completely useless and not a solution to a serious problem at ALL.

Another Amy wrote:

LW1 needs a geologist. His head is full of rocks.
LW2 - there are many, many word that should be abolished from our language...oh wait we have freedom of speech here. While I find certain terms offensive, I would go to my death defending an American's right to utilize them. If you don't like something, it's your right to avoid the people & places where it occurs, but you have NO right to tell an American NOT to use a word.

Actually, you kind of can, when you are using your words to attack someone. That's why we have things like slander and libel laws. Because you see, you can't use YOUR rights to infringe on someone else's. It just doesn't work that way, you know? And I don't think that anyone is saying that we should outlaw the word "retard," I think they are trying to discuss whether or not it's polite and considerate for me to say that your outfit is retarded, and that your haircut is gay, you stupid faggot.

"Retard" and "gay" are next in line for words like the "n-word" which you now cannot call people, because you are obviously making a derogatory statement towards them.

And what the HECK is with this whiny, self-righteous, "I'M AN AMERICAN SO I AM FREE TO BE THE BIGGEST A**HOLE I WANT BECAUSE IT'S MY FREAAKiNG RIGHT, MAN!"

Get over it! We have freedom, yes we do, but it'd be nice if we'd use our brains and try to be responsible and wise with it once in awhile. The rights that have been given to us could be honored in a LOT better ways than someone saying, "I have a right to use derogatory slang, President Washington said so!" How incredibly rude and disrespectful to what this country is supposed to stand for!

AvgJoe wrote:

LW1 - I call B.S. on this one. Who would tolerate their spouse playing on the computer 12-15 hours a day. Doesn't someone work to earn money in this household? Assuming it's the person who's NOT on the computer, how in the world would the gamer feel justified in sitting on their butt all day long? Furthermore, how in the world would the gamer feel justified in not participating in their family life AT ALL?
This one is way too out there, must be fake.

I realize that I am beating a long dead horse here, but this is not as unusual as you all make it sound. I personally know several people who can spend every waking moment in that game. They do manage to hold full time jobs and focus a little attention on the kids, but housework etc have fallen to the wayside in an effort to get their characters to level 70 and get gold together before the new expansion hits in November.

Just sayin..Yeah it happens.