"Why I Want To Be an Illegal Immigrant"

Jul 2, 2011 | Posted by: Chrgrfan | Full story: www.allenonline.com

Dear Senator Harkin, As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance. Your Loyal Constituent, Donald Ruppert Burlington , IA

 
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21 - 32 of 32 Comments Last updated Jun 23, 2012
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“THE RUMBLE WILL BECOME A ROAR”

Since: Dec 06

United States of America

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#21
Jul 3, 2011
 

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The Infamous Rico wrote:
<quoted text>
When I was first interviewed for my current employer 11 years ago, I remember a guy at the interview who successfully passed the interview. We were in the pre-employed status where you have to 'prove' you're legal to work in the USA.
We were all asked to present a photo ID and our social security #.
Then I heard the HR manager tell the guy that he cannot be hired without documentation and to leave.
We all assumed that the flake was an illegal.
So why did I think he was an illegal? He was Hispanic. Yea I know. That's bigoted but come on, what else was I to think?
Just remember, I'm Hispanic too.
Although many of the workers who left were Hispanic, there were also several from China, two from India, and several other countries were also represented. Most people who are here legally have documentation. It's not a matter of where they came from, it's a matter of how they came here, legally or illegally. Some of the Hispanics had legal green cards, they did not leave.
Free is free

Albuquerque, NM

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#22
Jul 4, 2011
 

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Reality Check wrote:
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Perhaps you may have realised by now most of the people crossing the border into the USA are those who are facing real hardship and in hopes of a better life but to no avail, with tough immigration laws as well coupled with some of its hostile citizenry life here can be less than a dogs for many.
There's a place in the High Sierra called "Dogtown". It's a small series of humps in the dirt, in the middle of effing *nowhere*. You know why's it's called Dogtown? Because the miners who worked there to start a mining town worked like dogs and lived even worse. They died with their town. When you see it, you barely know you've been there and you wouldn't know it was anything without a map.

That's risk; that's adversity. Stealing into a prosperous nation in the dead of night to assume others' identities, have children and tap into a generous welfare system is hardly adversity. I respect the people of Dogtown; I feel contempt for illegal aliens.

“"Beau-Se'ant”

Since: Jan 09

Manchester

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#23
Jul 4, 2011
 

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America... being taken over by Muslims, just like Europe:

&fe ature=related
scout

San Francisco, CA

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#24
Jul 4, 2011
 

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Try to illegally enter any OTHER country, other than our USA, and watch what happens.

Then let's watch for your smirk. NOT!

“Do you like my abs? ”

Since: May 11

San Gabriel, CA

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#25
Jul 4, 2011
 

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Free is free wrote:
<quoted text>
There's a place in the High Sierra called "Dogtown". It's a small series of humps in the dirt, in the middle of effing *nowhere*. You know why's it's called Dogtown? Because the miners who worked there to start a mining town worked like dogs and lived even worse. They died with their town. When you see it, you barely know you've been there and you wouldn't know it was anything without a map.
That's risk; that's adversity. Stealing into a prosperous nation in the dead of night to assume others' identities, have children and tap into a generous welfare system is hardly adversity. I respect the people of Dogtown; I feel contempt for illegal aliens.
Chinese immigrant laborers both legal & illegal were known to have worked the mines in the 1800's. While industrial employers were eager to get this new and cheap labor, the ordinary white public was stirred to anger by the presence of this "yellow peril."

It's like Déjà vu all over again.

“Do you like my abs? ”

Since: May 11

San Gabriel, CA

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#26
Jul 4, 2011
 

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scout wrote:
Try to illegally enter any OTHER country, other than our USA, and watch what happens.
Then let's watch for your smirk. NOT!
Hey Einstein, you said it, you do it. Tell us how it works out for you.

“Do you like my abs? ”

Since: May 11

San Gabriel, CA

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#27
Jul 4, 2011
 

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The Last Templar wrote:
America... being taken over by Muslims, just like Europe:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =cR4U0zBD8PgXX&feature=rel ated
Gee Wiz!! The way you feel is probably the same way the Native Americans felt when the "Gabachos" took over the Americans.

Isn't KARMA lovely?

“"Beau-Se'ant”

Since: Jan 09

Manchester

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#28
Jul 4, 2011
 

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The Infamous Rico wrote:
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Gee Wiz!! The way you feel is probably the same way the Native Americans felt when the "Gabachos" took over the Americans.
Isn't KARMA lovely?
Really Rico? You see parallels? You are as dumb as a brick.
jjj

Santa Maria, CA

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#29
Jun 21, 2012
 
Customer of the Internal Revenue Service? Try slave, it fits better. The best thing to so is to stop working hard for a hopeless future. There is no dream American or otherwise that hasn't been crushed. There are no jobs for anyone who expects a living wage, unless you are willing to suck off a politician or one of there pimps, I mean lobbyists. You can always wait for the next election but both parties are subject to their pimps (lobbyists), and the media. So what we got right now guiding the ship is a bunch of prostitutes being misguided by their pimp corporate oligarchs.
jjj

Santa Maria, CA

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#30
Jun 21, 2012
 

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My ancestors didn't have any of these handouts when they were fresh off the boat. They got a uniform and a gun to go die for the country they wanted to be a part of. All the outsourcing is destroying what once was. American's in high positions have forgotten about their neighbors, and the fabric and traditions that made this nation so great. Vet's have it the roughest. They come home with a lot on their conscience and no support. Meanwhile the war mongers are going ape in the name of peace and human rights, while cutting funding for the VA at the same time.

“"Beau-Se'ant”

Since: Jan 09

Manchester

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#31
Jun 23, 2012
 
Marco Rubio on immigration reform:

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

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#32
Jun 23, 2012
 
this needs a few updates. after reading about those illegal aliens who can claim kids without proving they are their's nor do these kids have to be in the country.

it would be nice yet illegal for a citizen to try and pull this. just write down names and collect a 1000 dollar check for each fake name,the irs would love for all citizens to pull that.

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