Punish the Ex-Wives.........

I truly hope that someday the ca. court system will grow some BALLS to protect the wonderful fathers that have great kids that have been alienated from him, due to vindictive ex-wives.
The fathers and children lose out big time. The vindictive ex's should be punished big time by the courts, and hopefully soon. The Fathers are nothing more than Wallets to the ex-wives and children.
There are countless, exellent supporting fathers in our system that have gone without a relationship with their kids.

Have not seen my daughter for 15 years. When the checks stopped so did communication. It takes two to ruin a marriage but one to mold a childs mind. Alienation is the price divorced fathers pay in addition to alimony from vindictive mothers. The children are rarely at fault but suffer the most. Every situation is different -- life goes on. Stay in touch with them best you can.

fkthex wrote:

I truly hope that someday the ca. court system will grow some BALLS to protect the wonderful fathers that have great kids that have been alienated from him, due to vindictive ex-wives.
The fathers and children lose out big time. The vindictive ex's should be punished big time by the courts, and hopefully soon. The Fathers are nothing more than Wallets to the ex-wives and children.
There are countless, exellent supporting fathers in our system that have gone without a relationship with their kids.

I have never agreed with the bias that the court system has toward giving women advantage in getting custody of children through divorce. Some mothers are unfit to raise children. Also, the children suffer when their fathers are not treated fairly and relationships are estranged.

Children do grow up. There will come a time when they will seek to learn the truth on their own. Hang in there!! All is not lost...just side-tracked for a season.

Blessings to you!

Joe,
Thanks 4 responding... 15 years is a long time. I feel for you.
My son is fine, but it's my 20 year old daughter that has disowned me.
Why? We just don't know or understand. The ex wife got remarried to someone who is well to do financially and I just can't compete with the BS.
So since I haven't heard from my daughter in a long time, I have stopped all contact with her and have stopped the money.
The court system in so. cal has absolutely no balls to punish these ex wives that pull this crap. Why I'll never know. I'd be the first one to lock the doors on the jail cells on them and throw away the keys.
Wish you the best joe.

Joe wrote:

Have not seen my daughter for 15 years. When the checks stopped so did communication. It takes two to ruin a marriage but one to mold a childs mind. Alienation is the price divorced fathers pay in addition to alimony from vindictive mothers. The children are rarely at fault but suffer the most. Every situation is different -- life goes on. Stay in touch with them best you can.

Thanks for responding.....
I wish you the best also.
It seems that the courts are so afraid of punishing women that alienate the children from the good fathers. The courts wouldn't think twice about locking up a father for alienating his children from the mother. The court system would again lock up a father quicker than you can imagine for doing what the ex-wives get away with today. I believe the california courts get away with it because the men don't raise hell when they most definitely should. It's sad that the good fathers and children totally lose out because of the court systems.

A Mom and an Ex wrote:

<quoted text>
I have never agreed with the bias that the court system has toward giving women advantage in getting custody of children through divorce. Some mothers are unfit to raise children. Also, the children suffer when their fathers are not treated fairly and relationships are estranged.
Children do grow up. There will come a time when they will seek to learn the truth on their own. Hang in there!! All is not lost...just side-tracked for a season.
Blessings to you!

I have a son and daughter in New Hampshire and I only get to see them for maybe a month and a half during the summer. It is really hard not seeing them all the time and being there with them while they are growing up. They are 8 and 11. Anyway when my ex-wife wants something and I give it to her she is fine, but when I can't give it to her she talks crap about me to my kids and then my son believes it and starts having an attitude toward me, then she threatens to take away my parental rights saying I am a deadbeat dad and I don't care for my kids. I would do anything in the world for them. I do believe though that they should not get away with it. Maybe one day things will change.

niehus1 wrote:

I have a son and daughter in New Hampshire and I only get to see them for maybe a month and a half during the summer. It is really hard not seeing them all the time and being there with them while they are growing up. They are 8 and 11. Anyway when my ex-wife wants something and I give it to her she is fine, but when I can't give it to her she talks crap about me to my kids and then my son believes it and starts having an attitude toward me, then she threatens to take away my parental rights saying I am a deadbeat dad and I don't care for my kids. I would do anything in the world for them. I do believe though that they should not get away with it. Maybe one day things will change.

She can't take away your parental rights. But by virtue of the distance between NH and CA, you have a tougher situation to deal with. Still, you can maintain a relationship with them via the phone and e-mail and see them as much as possible. And if you feel you don't have enough visitation, you can try to modify your agreement in court. Don't give up on your kids regardless of your ex's best efforts to alienate them; they need you. So hang in there and good luck.

niehus1 wrote:

I have a son and daughter in New Hampshire and I only get to see them for maybe a month and a half during the summer. It is really hard not seeing them all the time and being there with them while they are growing up. They are 8 and 11. Anyway when my ex-wife wants something and I give it to her she is fine, but when I can't give it to her she talks crap about me to my kids and then my son believes it and starts having an attitude toward me, then she threatens to take away my parental rights saying I am a deadbeat dad and I don't care for my kids. I would do anything in the world for them. I do believe though that they should not get away with it. Maybe one day things will change.

I doubt it when men have differences they often shake hands and start over. Women are emotional and many carry every disappointment to their grave. I would not hold out a lot of hope. From experience, make the extra effort, bite your tongue and try to your best when you have them with you. When the ex is undermines your efforts by using the children to punish you it may be a lost cause. If it helps anyone it is easy to get back at the exwife -- marry someone half your age like I did. It drives them nuts. A smile to all.

Joe wrote:

<quoted text>
I doubt it when men have differences they often shake hands and start over. Women are emotional and many carry every disappointment to their grave. I would not hold out a lot of hope. From experience, make the extra effort, bite your tongue and try to your best when you have them with you. When the ex is undermines your efforts by using the children to punish you it may be a lost cause. If it helps anyone it is easy to get back at the exwife -- marry someone half your age like I did. It drives them nuts. A smile to all.

I did remarry but not half my age, she is 9 years younger and my ex-wife hates her, shes talks trash about her to.

Joe wrote:

Have not seen my daughter for 15 years. When the checks stopped so did communication. It takes two to ruin a marriage but one to mold a childs mind. Alienation is the price divorced fathers pay in addition to alimony from vindictive mothers. The children are rarely at fault but suffer the most. Every situation is different -- life goes on. Stay in touch with them best you can.

I find your situation interesting. You have not seen your daughter in 15 years because according to you the checks stopped so did the communication. What prevented you from picking up the phone or going to see your daughter.

fkthex wrote:

I truly hope that someday the ca. court system will grow some BALLS to protect the wonderful fathers that have great kids that have been alienated from him, due to vindictive ex-wives.
The fathers and children lose out big time. The vindictive ex's should be punished big time by the courts, and hopefully soon. The Fathers are nothing more than Wallets to the ex-wives and children.
There are countless, exellent supporting fathers in our system that have gone without a relationship with their kids.

And I truly hope the court system grows some balls and goes after all the deadbeat fathers that do absolutely nothing for their children.

Red Queen wrote:

<quoted text>
I find your situation interesting. You have not seen your daughter in 15 years because according to you the checks stopped so did the communication. What prevented you from picking up the phone or going to see your daughter.

What prevented her from doing the same -- she was 21. At that age I had fought a war, was working for AT&T, going to college at night with a business in my fathers garage that eventually prospered to a million dollar enterprise before I was 30. My father never had to call me -- I checked on him often because I cared and that was the way I and she was brought up. Does your father call you or do you call him? I am sure you will say we both call but that is probably bullshit -- I cared about his health, well being and financial security as I am sure you do as well.

Red Queen wrote:

<quoted text>
And I truly hope the court system grows some balls and goes after all the deadbeat fathers that do absolutely nothing for their children.

I think the courts are doing just fine.You should have seen my ex-queen ,she had red all over her too.

Joe wrote:

<quoted text>
What prevented her from doing the same -- she was 21. At that age I had fought a war, was working for AT&T, going to college at night with a business in my fathers garage that eventually prospered to a million dollar enterprise before I was 30. My father never had to call me -- I checked on him often because I cared and that was the way I and she was brought up. Does your father call you or do you call him? I am sure you will say we both call but that is probably bullshit -- I cared about his health, well being and financial security as I am sure you do as well.

Excuses, excuses! YOU are the parent, you are just trying to validate your own poor parenting by your excuses.
If you cared so much for your child, you would pick up the phone. Period.

AuroraMom wrote:

<quoted text>
Excuses, excuses! YOU are the parent, you are just trying to validate your own poor parenting by your excuses.
If you cared so much for your child, you would pick up the phone. Period.

Kiss my a--!

Joe wrote:

<quoted text>
What prevented her from doing the same -- she was 21. At that age I had fought a war, was working for AT&T, going to college at night with a business in my fathers garage that eventually prospered to a million dollar enterprise before I was 30. My father never had to call me -- I checked on him often because I cared and that was the way I and she was brought up. Does your father call you or do you call him? I am sure you will say we both call but that is probably bullshit -- I cared about his health, well being and financial security as I am sure you do as well.

Shes your daughter you're the parent its up to you to over the olive branch.

Sorry meant offer

OJ Simpson wrote:

<quoted text>I think the courts are doing just fine.You should have seen my ex-queen ,she had red all over her too.

I disagree

niehus1 wrote:

I would do anything in the world for them.

If this is true...move to New Hampshire.

fkthex wrote:

I truly hope that someday the ca. court system will grow some BALLS to protect the wonderful fathers that have great kids that have been alienated from him, due to vindictive ex-wives.
The fathers and children lose out big time. The vindictive ex's should be punished big time by the courts, and hopefully soon. The Fathers are nothing more than Wallets to the ex-wives and children.
There are countless, exellent supporting fathers in our system that have gone without a relationship with their kids.

I totally agree that the Cali courts are sexists. I proved to the courts with criminal records and emails that my 3 year olds mother is a drunk, but their solution was to give her time to clean up her act. We go back on Feb 5 to see if she has...in the mean time, my son is with someone who has been drunk on several occasion when she should have been caring for him. I have no doubt, that if it were I who was the drunk, I would get supervised visits a couple of hours a month.