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“ABORTION .....ONE HEART STOPS”
Joined: Sep 11, 2007
"ANOTHER HEART BREAKS"
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Judged:
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Proud Parent wrote: <quoted text>
Okay, you caused some goosebumps here.
What a phenomenol and welcome story. I am so glad for you. I think your husband and YOU (I'll bet he says he couldn't have done it without you, as well) broke the "cycle of abuse" that usually results from a childhood like yours. Bravo, Congratulations and you deserve wonderful children with an attitude like yours. Thank you Proud parent,He has said that many times. You see I truly feel God allowed us to find each other. He had alcoholic parents and they were horrible parents to him. So believe me when I say we thank God for each other.
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boogerbug
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Judged:
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I have to disagree with not spanking children. I tried the "time out" with the first child, they really don't seem to respond well. Always do it over and over again. First time I actually spanked my first son he was absolutely shocked! Never did the same thing again, not that there wasn't other things he tried. I never spanked hard enough to ever leave a mark of course. I had a babysitter who watched my son and she did "time outs", and I must say her son was the biggest dam brat I have ever met. At least I never used a big leather belt like my dad did with us girls...that really hurt! So I guess it's all a matter of how you feel about raising your kids, time outs just never went over well with my sons.
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“Don't judge if you don't know”
Joined: Jan 6, 2008
Cow Town, USA
ISP Location:
United States
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Judged:
1
Everyone talking about the need to spank their children to: gain their respect, to discipline their children, to show who's in charge- it all makes me feel like either I have raised a freak of nature or I have been highly blessed. I know I have said it before, but my daughter grew up in a "no spank" zone. Discipline was talking it over, asking her what she did wrong, why it was wrong, how I felt about it and what she would do to correct what she did. Then of course taking away of her favorite privileges until she earned them back. She is now 14, I get CONSTANT praise about how respectful, well mannered, good hearted and intelligent she is. She grew up knowing that she was well loved, has a TREMENDOUS amount of respect for me and for others. Did I spank her ever? Yes, two times and it did nothing for either of us. Do I teach her to be God fearing and follow the Bible? No- she IS Catholic, but I am not. When she was disciplined, did she ever do the same things again? Of course, she is a child, but can those who spank say that their children honestly never made the same mistakes after a spanking? I highly doubt it. But she never did anything really bad that warranted major punishment either. Does it work for everyone? Of course not. I am one of the lucky few, but it did take a lot of time, patience, and breathing exercises..
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WV girl at Heart
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Lizard wrote: Everyone talking about the need to spank their children to: gain their respect, to discipline their children, to show who's in charge- it all makes me feel like either I have raised a freak of nature or I have been highly blessed. I know I have said it before, but my daughter grew up in a "no spank" zone. Discipline was talking it over, asking her what she did wrong, why it was wrong, how I felt about it and what she would do to correct what she did. Then of course taking away of her favorite privileges until she earned them back. She is now 14, I get CONSTANT praise about how respectful, well mannered, good hearted and intelligent she is. She grew up knowing that she was well loved, has a TREMENDOUS amount of respect for me and for others.
Did I spank her ever? Yes, two times and it did nothing for either of us.
Do I teach her to be God fearing and follow the Bible? No- she IS Catholic, but I am not.
When she was disciplined, did she ever do the same things again? Of course, she is a child, but can those who spank say that their children honestly never made the same mistakes after a spanking? I highly doubt it. But she never did anything really bad that warranted major punishment either.
Does it work for everyone? Of course not. I am one of the lucky few, but it did take a lot of time, patience, and breathing exercises.. I like you only spanked my children very few times,and also took away their favorite things, to be returned, only once earned..But what may work for some, may not for others,this basically depends on the child.I myself, have no problem with a parent spanking their child, but should it come to the point of abuse,I hope that it is not in my presense,as that would not be nice of the WV girl at all.
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“My Gorgeous Irish Lover”
Joined: May 6, 2008
Most beaut eyes I've ever seen
ISP Location:
United States
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Lizard wrote: Everyone talking about the need to spank their children to: gain their respect, to discipline their children, to show who's in charge- it all makes me feel like either I have raised a freak of nature or I have been highly blessed. I know I have said it before, but my daughter grew up in a "no spank" zone. Discipline was talking it over, asking her what she did wrong, why it was wrong, how I felt about it and what she would do to correct what she did. Then of course taking away of her favorite privileges until she earned them back. She is now 14, I get CONSTANT praise about how respectful, well mannered, good hearted and intelligent she is. She grew up knowing that she was well loved, has a TREMENDOUS amount of respect for me and for others.
Did I spank her ever? Yes, two times and it did nothing for either of us.
Do I teach her to be God fearing and follow the Bible? No- she IS Catholic, but I am not.
When she was disciplined, did she ever do the same things again? Of course, she is a child, but can those who spank say that their children honestly never made the same mistakes after a spanking? I highly doubt it. But she never did anything really bad that warranted major punishment either.
Does it work for everyone? Of course not. I am one of the lucky few, but it did take a lot of time, patience, and breathing exercises.. You said that you spanked her and it did nothing for either of you. Perhaps it did do something for her and you didn't realize it. Point is, sometimes it has to be done. There are no two ways about it. I want to make it clear that we are talking about "spankings" and not the rest of the childrearing manual. There are not enough pages on the internet that can contain the many different successful childrearing ways, including praise, blah blah blah. Regarding spanking, I was spanked and I am not a murderer. My children are growing up to be productive citizens of society, and as you, I am always told how respectful and sweet my girls are. Because I beat them? No. Because I don't beat them. Because on the one occasion in each of their lives that I've HAD to spank them, it was a very wise and successful move on my part. Neither myself nor my daughters regret it. I am glad that I did it. It put things into perspective for me and them. Life is a more tolerable place to be because of it.
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kknott
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The idea that a proper spanking models violent behavior is totally ridiculous.
Does "taking away" privileges or a child's belonging model stealing? Of course not.
Does sending a child to his bedroom or making him sit on a chair model mental abuse? Of course not.
Does grounding model oppression? Of course not.
Spanking is aged old. Are we to really think we are enlightened? Spanking has been given a bad rap because of idiotic child abuse. But a loving spanking, followed by instruction, if often the best thing you can do for a child. It models the real world of cause and effect.
We have seven children, and we are complimented often on how well behaved everyone is and how well they get along with each other. Our kids have tons of fun, and they love their parents as we do them.
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“Don't judge if you don't know”
Joined: Jan 6, 2008
Cow Town, USA
ISP Location:
United States
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Judged:
1
Domestic Diva wrote: <quoted text>You said that you spanked her and it did nothing for either of you.
Perhaps it did do something for her and you didn't realize it.
Point is, sometimes it has to be done. There are no two ways about it.
I want to make it clear that we are talking about "spankings" and not the rest of the childrearing manual.
There are not enough pages on the internet that can contain the many different successful childrearing ways, including praise, blah blah blah.
Regarding spanking, I was spanked and I am not a murderer. My children are growing up to be productive citizens of society, and as you, I am always told how respectful and sweet my girls are.
Because I beat them? No. Because I don't beat them.
Because on the one occasion in each of their lives that I've HAD to spank them, it was a very wise and successful move on my part.
Neither myself nor my daughters regret it. I am glad that I did it. It put things into perspective for me and them. Life is a more tolerable place to be because of it. I think I am remembering back to when I myself was younger and was disciplined by the hair brush to my bare bottom. Not a pleasant experience for sure, but honestly I still did the same things afterwards- lied, cursed, hit my brother, talked back to my parents. The spankings I used on my daughter were once when she broke something and another time when she wouldn't mind me. Both were out of my own frustration with her, which so many times spankings seem to be used more to make the parents feel better- it lets out their frustrations. If spankings are used, IMHO they should be only used when appropriate- swatting the hand when a child is reaching for something bad. Swatting the bottom when they are running out into traffic when they are younger- so they know bad things happen. NOT for "you talked back to me so I am going to teach you that hitting is going to be the recourse." Then no talking about it afterwards- what do they learn honestly? The kid ends up thinking "I talked back so I got my bottom hurt. But WHY was it bad in the first place?" What good does it do to spank them without telling them the why's of the punishment, the what they should do instead, and the why what they did was bad? As an adult, if your boss took you outside and punched you in the face when you did something wrong and fired you on the spot without explanation, what are you learning?
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WV girl at Heart
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All parents tend to believe that their way is the right way to raise a child,and whether one chooses spanking as their preferred discipline method, then the parent is usually the best judge of what works best for their child. I did't say that a spanked child may becom a criminal,I had said that a child that has no discipline, are usually the makings of the criminal, and abused children often become abusive parents.
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“GO TOPLESS!!”
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
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ms_tickled wrote: And now I'm hearing more too often of children hitting there parents..my sons friend just told me a few days ago 1 of his friends cursed out and slapped his mother. What is this world coming to?! OMG... if I EVER had hit my mother... well, I don't think I'd be here to talk about it... LOL.
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Joined: Mar 31, 2007
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LOL ... They took the paddle out of the schools, respecting the teachers left with the paddle.
LOL ... God is no longer allowed in the pledge of aliegence in schools, now the kids are bringing A-K47 machine guns back to school for attention.
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Madmanmike
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Lee wrote: <quoted text>I am doing pretty good. i take prozac every day; i also a m add.(ATTENTION DEFIECET DISORDER.) been like this all my life. My parents did not know how to handle it so i got hit and yelled at a lot... My own kids, i made many mistakes with; but i have asked them to forgive me.. I am so glad i had that chance... HITTING AND YELLING AT KIDS IS JUST WRONG.. messes them up really bad. To this day if i see a child getting hit i get sick inside... You know why parents hit there kids? because they loss control and take it out on a small child.. Some people should never have been parents... Good talking with you lips. you are a blessing. Change your diet and get off the meds, mental illness is a myth. Check out DSM-IV "Male orgasmic disorder" total nonsense LOL!
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Joined: Mar 31, 2007
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I can say I dont remember going to school where the paddle was present, Kids didnt bring guns to school and shoot everyone up.
I say to paddle a kids ass when needed along with double amount of love for the amount of disapline shown the kids would turn out better than most today... give them a job... dont let them stay home with there feet up on the recliner playing nintendo eating bon bons. Teach them early in life you work you get, you do wrong you go to jail.
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Jane
AOL
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jkfjdk
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WV girl at Heart
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Madmanmike wrote: <quoted text>
Change your diet and get off the meds, mental illness is a myth.
Check out DSM-IV "Male orgasmic disorder" total nonsense LOL! That was just cruel.Some people may have some mental issues due to the way that they were disciplined,how do you know that they don't? What may not affect one person in a negative way, is not to say that it may not another.We are all different,and we all cope with things differently, and it is very wrong to express an attitude like someone without respect for another persons feelings and emotions.
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“My Gorgeous Irish Lover”
Joined: May 6, 2008
Most beaut eyes I've ever seen
ISP Location:
United States
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Lizard wrote: <quoted text>
I think I am remembering back to when I myself was younger and was disciplined by the hair brush to my bare bottom. Not a pleasant experience for sure, but honestly I still did the same things afterwards- lied, cursed, hit my brother, talked back to my parents. The spankings I used on my daughter were once when she broke something and another time when she wouldn't mind me. Both were out of my own frustration with her, which so many times spankings seem to be used more to make the parents feel better- it lets out their frustrations.
If spankings are used, IMHO they should be only used when appropriate- swatting the hand when a child is reaching for something bad. Swatting the bottom when they are running out into traffic when they are younger- so they know bad things happen.
NOT for "you talked back to me so I am going to teach you that hitting is going to be the recourse." Then no talking about it afterwards- what do they learn honestly? The kid ends up thinking "I talked back so I got my bottom hurt. But WHY was it bad in the first place?" What good does it do to spank them without telling them the why's of the punishment, the what they should do instead, and the why what they did was bad?
As an adult, if your boss took you outside and punched you in the face when you did something wrong and fired you on the spot without explanation, what are you learning? I had a belt used on my bottom. I do not advocate using tools to spank. The reason that you may have continued to act the way you did is because your parents may not have been consistent with enforcement. My children remember the hand to the bottom. If I start counting, I don't hit 3 before they jump up and do what I've said. I don't grab their arms to make them do something that the thought of a possible spanking might motivate them to do. Point is, sometimes a spanking is necessary. No one ever died from a simple little butt pop from a parent. Most children who were spanked as children, like myself (although I don't believe in tools), will step up and say that they are a better person because of it. I know that I was loved and I continue to know that I am loved. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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“My Gorgeous Irish Lover”
Joined: May 6, 2008
Most beaut eyes I've ever seen
ISP Location:
United States
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Gregory Scott wrote: I can say I dont remember going to school where the paddle was present, Kids didnt bring guns to school and shoot everyone up.
I say to paddle a kids ass when needed along with double amount of love for the amount of disapline shown the kids would turn out better than most today... give them a job... dont let them stay home with there feet up on the recliner playing nintendo eating bon bons. Teach them early in life you work you get, you do wrong you go to jail. There is so much to childrearing that, like I pointed out earlier, there wouldn't be enough cyber space to contain it all. As for spankings: nothing wrong with a good old fashioned bend em over the knee butt spanking. It works.
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“GO TOPLESS!!”
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
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My Uncle Jim used to tell me, he'd say, "Shell, you can do whatever you wanna do in life. You wanna kill a man, you can do that. But, be prepared to face the consequences... and all things have consequences." He was always my favorite Uncle. It's simple logic, but it rings true.
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“My Gorgeous Irish Lover”
Joined: May 6, 2008
Most beaut eyes I've ever seen
ISP Location:
United States
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kknott wrote: The idea that a proper spanking models violent behavior is totally ridiculous.
Does "taking away" privileges or a child's belonging model stealing? Of course not.
Does sending a child to his bedroom or making him sit on a chair model mental abuse? Of course not.
Does grounding model oppression? Of course not.
Spanking is aged old. Are we to really think we are enlightened? Spanking has been given a bad rap because of idiotic child abuse. But a loving spanking, followed by instruction, if often the best thing you can do for a child. It models the real world of cause and effect.
We have seven children, and we are complimented often on how well behaved everyone is and how well they get along with each other. Our kids have tons of fun, and they love their parents as we do them. Well, I am bored with this subject, but wanted to come in one more time with a kudos to you and your spouse for having 7 well-behaved kids who know that they are unconditionally loved and know that their parents are 100% behind them. Good on you. You've given this world a lot to look forward to.
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“Nigel & Molly”
Joined: Apr 23, 2007
Graham
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Gregory Scott wrote: I can say I dont remember going to school where the paddle was present, Kids didnt bring guns to school and shoot everyone up.
I say to paddle a kids ass when needed along with double amount of love for the amount of disapline shown the kids would turn out better than most today... give them a job... dont let them stay home with there feet up on the recliner playing nintendo eating bon bons. Teach them early in life you work you get, you do wrong you go to jail. Very true!! I do remember the school paddle, a big hickory sucker with holes drilled in it in the principals office. But before that you were lifted out of your chair by your ear and escorted down the hall on your tip-toes! If you were half smart that was the last time you cracked wise to the teach. I've been in some of todays classrooms, total disorder! how in hell can anyone learn in that invironment?
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Madmanmike
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WV girl at Heart wrote: <quoted text>
That was just cruel.Some people may have some mental issues due to the way that they were disciplined,how do you know that they don't?
What may not affect one person in a negative way,
is not to say that it may not another.We are all different,and we all cope with things differently,
and it is very wrong to express an attitude like someone without respect for another persons feelings and emotions. Medication is complete nonsense and overall makes you worse. Yes people have "issues" but the word "mental illness" is complete nonsense there is no such designation.
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