Child Support In Michigan

BetnWin wrote:

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Ha hahahahahaha! You kill me! I don't think people on this board fully appreciate your marvelous sense of humor.

I think people think I am always been mean. Just try'en to have fun!!

TheKaisho42 wrote:

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**** are u talking about?
I have a three bedroom home. Each child has their own room and the two girls (when my daughter is here, which is frequently) SHARE a FULL bathroom. wherever the Hell you got got that there is only ONE bedroom for the kids I have no idea. and before you come down of your soap bix, the teo kids get along pretty good, even though they are far apart in ages.
Try re-reading my post, can you see the usage of a rhetorical device? Sarcasm even? Sheesh.
We do not "pack up camp" every week. My kid gets in the car when I pick her up at her mom's house about 15 minutes from our doorstep. There is no packing involved. Her mother comes and gets her when it is her turn. When school starts, I pick up our kid on my days/over nights and she goes to and from school on the bus when she is at her mother's home.
What is SO hard or traumatic about that? BTW, my daughter is 16.5 years old, not some easily impressionable 6 year old, so please, downplay the drama, ok? We aren't "re-inventing the wheel" over here.
BTW, it will be two weeks on two weeks off during the school year (of which We only have this one and another left to do) if my kid and I get our way.
Also, the problems occur from our differing parenting styles. My ex plays the friend, the confidante. She treats out kid like a mini-adult and has for years. Our child, most emphatically, is not a mini-adult.
I am a disciplinarian, not all warm and fuzzy 24/7. I am friendly with my child, especially as she gets older. But I am NOT her friend. I am still the parent and I have a certain level of emotional distance from my child. This gives me the ability to say "NO" when I have to, instead of saying YES as her mother does.
My ex believes being the parent is a popularity contest. I do not. If my daughter "hates me" because I won't let her date the 22 year old man that sniffed around her once, I don't care if she hates me. I never became a parent so I could be the "cool dad" or the indulgent parent.
Most of the time, I do what is RIGHT. That said, I always do what is NECESSARY. Many times, those two goals ARE mutually exclusive and are at odds with each other.

What we say is bothering you to much its really not a big deal. It sounds like you're doing the best that can be done with what has been given. Really you're ok take a deep breath.Innnnnnnn Ouuuuttttttt

TheKaisho42 wrote:

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What is SO hard or traumatic about that?

Exactly my point; if it ain't so "traumatic" then YOU do it instead
As I was driving to a friend's house, I realized I had mistook your post regarding "Fido" but could not post til now; my error on that one
You didn't realize your parenting techniques were different B4 you had your daughter?? Separated from hubby w/one child and pregnant with another man's child and dating you all the while??? Let me guess, you thought you could chaaaaange her??? C'mon TK, you are much brighter than that; Good grief, why the hell weren't you running the other way from this woman [using the term loosely]

outdoors lover wrote:

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Everyone makes mistakes, But honestly I think its admiral that a man could & can do that. He took on the responsibility to take care of a child that wasn't his. Trust me people like that are hard to come by Men and women.

worked out great for the kids, huh?

baseball wrote:

first rval...

Just remember that!!

TheKaisho42 wrote:

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Now you are actually full of crap.
First, if you have said anything before about "deadbeat momns" this is the first I have heard of it.
You have been incessantly attacking men since this thread started and you know it. for you to come out now saying, "well moms too," is a bit disingenuous, don't ya think?
The situation you described is NOT my situation.
I have had my kid more than half the time and I STILL pay support; even though my ex makes a lot more money than I do.
This is NOT fair and is contrary to the Reasoning behind CS. You have stated repeatedly, that this IS Fair and I should shut up and pay up.
My child is NO longer little and not subject to your whimsical tale.
Also, you have never said, to my knowledge, that a MAN is just as capable a parent as a woman. In fact, you have stated, ad nauseum, that it is scientifically PROVEN that men are not as capable as women.
You can't possibly be any more wrong on that.
Men are just as capable. Many of us aren't, but we CAN be.
I KNOW I am.

Frankly, TK, I'm not sure how me writing "everyone does it" is pertinent to your arguments. It may make YOU feel better to believe that, but just because some woman somewhere may be an irresponsible deadbeat won't change YOUR situation, now will it? The point is moot.
I have never said "men are not scientifically capable of caring for a child," never said "shut up and pay." Aren't you the one telling others "reading is fundamental" and to "read for comprehension"? Try doing it sometime!
What I've said is: women are the gender actually giving birth to the child. That is a scientific FACT. Mothers are naturally the better choice as CP to an infant, toddler or small child simply because the child has NATURALLY bonded with the mother for 40 weeks pre-birth. That is a scientific FACT. If your daughter is grown, let HER make the choice, if you think that is wise. If she chooses NOT to live with you, I'm sorry. There is NO law that says she MUST. You and your ex are NOT the first parents in the world to disagree on parenting style-- even parents who have remained married. It is not unusual for mothers and daughters to have a "different kind" of relationship than a daughter has with her father-- especially if "dad" is playing hard-**** and putting his foot down hard on the teen, who as we all know believes in her teenage heart that she "knows it all" and should be allows to make her own [bad] choices. You may think being a hard-**** is the best approach to raising your daughter, and it may be, but that is still NO reason not to pay child support-- should ANYONE happen to think it is.
I have also said, and I stand by it, all the tired, old, BS, lame excuses: "CS is a transfer of wealth," "the system is broken," " the slut ex only wants the money to spend on themselves," "The court has an unfair gender bias," "my ex makes more money than I do," "my judge was crooked and later arrested" ... are NOT an excuse NOT to pay for your child. Remember, YOU came to the court seeking a divorce! They made the best decision they could make given YOUR situation at the time.*IF* and when that situation changed, it was YOUR job to have YOUR case revisited.
If you are looking for a pat on the back for actually doing what you SHOULD be doing as a parent, look no more. Good on ya!

rval3 wrote:

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worked out great for the kids, huh?

Rval do you have kids?

I can tell you when my parents divorced I was not traumatized one bit. My parents were very abusive to each other & our lives consisted of daily fighting screaming & little sleep. It was actually a relief when they finally called it quits.
I was 12 at the time.

I can also tell you that just because a husband & wife 50 years ago stayed together & did not divorce
did not mean they were happy & the family was happy. back then people put on a smile & pretended everything was peachy when it was not. You didn't talk about divorce & god forbid you actually did it. you would have been stigmatized.
Just because people stayed together back then did not mean the family was functional & healthy.

My grandmother divorced my grandfather after 53 years of marriage and as hard as it was on our family to have to go through that we all knew that it should have happened 50 years ago. My grandparents were both very happy in their final years & thats all that mattered. They both even remarried in their 70'S. My grandmother to her high school sweetheart.
Life is full of ups & downs & I think the life I was delt as a child has made me the person I am today & I have a great life. No its not a lolly pops & puppy dogs everyday.
But just because two people divorce & remarry doesn't mean that their children wont grow up to be productive & happy people.

The villain in the child support reform story is the "deadbeat dad" who does not pay child support. In a speech in Denver one week before he signed the welfare bill, President Clinton assured his audience that nonpayment of child support was a serious crime, comparing it to robbing a bank or a 7-Eleven store. In a final cascade of warnings to "deadbeat dads," the President said: "If you owe child support, you better pay it. If you deliberately refuse to pay it, you can find your face posted in the Post Office. We'll track you down with computers.... We'll track you down with law enforcement. We'll find you through the Internet." (Post on :})

outdoors lover wrote:

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Rval do you have kids?
I can tell you when my parents divorced I was not traumatized one bit. My parents were very abusive to each other & our lives consisted of daily fighting screaming & little sleep. It was actually a relief when they finally called it quits.
I was 12 at the time.
.

Kind of contradictory;

Sentence 1: "I was not traumatized one bit"

Sentence 2: "It was actually a relief when they finally called it quits."

I never said children of divorce/unwed parents didn't grow up to be productive members of society; But it affects the children [when they are children] whether you choose to believe it or not

rval3 wrote:

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Kind of contradictory;
Sentence 1: "I was not traumatized one bit"
Sentence 2: "It was actually a relief when they finally called it quits."
I never said children of divorce/unwed parents didn't grow up to be productive members of society; But it affects the children [when they are children] whether you choose to believe it or not

You did not answer question..Do you have children and further have you been married? I know you speak of your grandmother, but what about you? What are your experiences with this issue. Child of Divorce??

rval3 wrote:

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Kind of contradictory;
Sentence 1: "I was not traumatized one bit"
Sentence 2: "It was actually a relief when they finally called it quits."
I never said children of divorce/unwed parents didn't grow up to be productive members of society; But it affects the children [when they are children] whether you choose to believe it or not

No if you read it the way I meant it. It means The divorce did not traumatize me but the disfunctional abusive household I was in before the divorce did. Life was waaay better afterwards.

outdoors lover wrote:

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No if you read it the way I meant it. It means The divorce did not traumatize me but the disfunctional abusive household I was in before the divorce did. Life was waaay better afterwards.

The back bone's connected to the...hip bone

The hip bone's connected to the...thigh bone

The thigh bone's connected to the...

whats going on wrote:

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You did not answer question..Do you have children and further have you been married? I know you speak of your grandmother, but what about you? What are your experiences with this issue. Child of Divorce??

My own personal experiences, along with the experiences I "went through" with others is the reason I have the opinion I do

rval3 wrote:

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Exactly my point; if it ain't so "traumatic" then YOU do it instead
As I was driving to a friend's house, I realized I had mistook your post regarding "Fido" but could not post til now; my error on that one
You didn't realize your parenting techniques were different B4 you had your daughter?? Separated from hubby w/one child and pregnant with another man's child and dating you all the while??? Let me guess, you thought you could chaaaaange her??? C'mon TK, you are much brighter than that; Good grief, why the hell weren't you running the other way from this woman [using the term loosely]

How many WOMEN have thought they could change their MAN?

Am I now stupid for thinking that? Prolly...but that is only because hindsight is always 20/20.

One does not think these things through all the time when they are in the thick of it...

rval3 wrote:

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The back bone's connected to the...hip bone
The hip bone's connected to the...thigh bone
The thigh bone's connected to the...

Geeze rval thats adult like.
I am speaking from MY experience.
In my matter Life was way better after divorce for everyone all around mom remarried Dad remarried A wonderful woman That I could not imagine not having in my life.
Life before hand was horrid & wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Funny you still cannot answer a simple question either. But you badger other people till they answer yours.

TheKaisho42 wrote:

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How many WOMEN have thought they could change their MAN?
..

Women marry men, hoping they'll change...Men marry women, hoping they won't

The difference in women during the courtship vs after the I do's is ridiculously off the charts

Example: During three years of dating, man golfed every Wednesday night w/his friends with a few beers afterwards, and woman never minded at all...After the "I do's," "Well, you're NOT going to still do that, are you?"

Women marry men, hoping they'll change...Men marry women, hoping they won't

outdoors lover wrote:

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Funny you still cannot answer a simple question either. But you badger other people till they answer yours.

I did answer:

My own personal experiences, along with the experiences I "went through" with others is the reason I have the opinion I do

Hence the word, "personal"...just because I so desire which aspects of my life to reveal detail about here for everyone to see, does not mean I did not answer the question

rval3 wrote:

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Women marry men, hoping they'll change...Men marry women, hoping they won't
The difference in women during the courtship vs after the I do's is ridiculously off the charts
Example: During three years of dating, man golfed every Wednesday night w/his friends with a few beers afterwards, and woman never minded at all...After the "I do's," "Well, you're NOT going to still do that, are you?"
Women marry men, hoping they'll change...Men marry women, hoping they won't

That's not always TRUE. Not once did my first husband go fishing,ice fishing, duck hunting, goose hunting, rabbit hunting, deer hunting, etc. at any time during the 3 years we dated before marriage. I'm the one who watched football and nascar every week, not him. He never watched football at all...never! I suggested we buy a bass fishing boat that could also pull tubes for the kids; but the problem was the kids and I could never go because he was always "booked" with friends. At first, I didn't mind ; he was doing things he loved to do; but when the time came that the only time I could be with him was to be out fishing...we grew apart real fast. But I NEVER asked him to stop doing what he loved.

The only thing most men want women to stay the same at...is her SIZE and sexual habits. It's such a double standard when it comes to gaining weight or keeping oneself fit and looking nice.

If you love each other, it shouldn't matter.

rval3 wrote:

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I did answer:
My own personal experiences, along with the experiences I "went through" with others is the reason I have the opinion I do
Hence the word, "personal"...just because I so desire which aspects of my life to reveal detail about here for everyone to see, does not mean I did not answer the question

It is hard to Know what angle you are coming from with no real example of experience. So...I am finding hard to accept your opinion. It is much easier said than done my dear.

rval3 wrote:

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I did answer:
My own personal experiences, along with the experiences I "went through" with others is the reason I have the opinion I do
Hence the word, "personal"...just because I so desire which aspects of my life to reveal detail about here for everyone to see, does not mean I did not answer the question

Meaning You are passing judgment on others when most likely you have did or been in the same situation.