Grieving Parents Forum

I would like to start a forum for those who have suffered the loss of a child. It doesn't matter the age or how. Just a place where we can relate to one another.
I lost my daughter and her friend in October 2005. My daughter was only 13, her friend was 14.

Hugs to you KB's Mom! Thanks for starting this over here.

Glad you started this over here KB's Mom!! Hugs!

KB's Mom,

Like I have said before. I truly feel you and W2GR have been inspiration to all families that have lost a child.

We all love you and I know I speak for many people on here. You are in our thoughts and prayers daily.

I am glad you stated this thread over here.

I too have lost a child. It will be 14 years next month. My son was premature and lived for 6 months before I had to let him go back to God.
I have other children and had 1 of those children after my son died. My daughter and her siblings all know about their brother and we keep his memory alive by talking about it.
Thank you for starting this forum, I feel it is a good way to deal with the pain if you know you are not the only one who has ever lost a child.

Mom of an Angel wrote:

I too have lost a child. It will be 14 years next month. My son was premature and lived for 6 months before I had to let him go back to God.
I have other children and had 1 of those children after my son died. My daughter and her siblings all know about their brother and we keep his memory alive by talking about it.
Thank you for starting this forum, I feel it is a good way to deal with the pain if you know you are not the only one who has ever lost a child.

Dear Mom of an Angel, I so agree, this forum has helped me so much over the last couple of years. As heartbreaking as it is to know others experiance the same pain and loss, I find comfort in knowing that their feelings are genuine and heartfelt.
Big Hugs to you ((((()))))

My heart goes out to any who lost a child. One thing a parent should never have to do is bury their children (child).
I lost my son on July 4, 2007. He was 15, one month short of his 16th birthday.
It hurts today as much as it did then.

John wrote:

My heart goes out to any who lost a child. One thing a parent should never have to do is bury their children (child).
I lost my son on July 4, 2007. He was 15, one month short of his 16th birthday.
It hurts today as much as it did then.

John,
You have my deepest sympathy. I totally agree, I feel the loss of Kerri (my daughter, and Meaghin Kerri's friend) just as strongly today as I did that afternoon October 5 2005. People tell me all the time that it will lessen in time, I find that very hard to believe. I think the people who say that, have good intentions but have never been where we are.

KBs mom wrote:

<quoted text>
John,
You have my deepest sympathy. I totally agree, I feel the loss of Kerri (my daughter, and Meaghin Kerri's friend) just as strongly today as I did that afternoon October 5 2005. People tell me all the time that it will lessen in time, I find that very hard to believe. I think the people who say that, have good intentions but have never been where we are.

See how much you help people. You are a true gift from God. God Bless You, KB's Mom. We all love you.

To all of the other that have lost children. God Bless You too. I will say a little prayer for all of you.

KBs mom wrote:

<quoted text>
I feel the loss of Kerri (my daughter, and Meaghin Kerri's friend) just as strongly today as I did that afternoon October 5 2005. People tell me all the time that it will lessen in time, I find that very hard to believe. I think the people who say that, have good intentions but have never been where we are.

There is no grief quite like that of losing a child because not only are you grieving for what you have lost, but also for what might have been, but the pain does get less intense with time. I lost a son 15 years ago when he was stillborn. I still feel a certain amount of sadness when I think of Isaac, but it's not that sharp, intense grief that we first felt. Everyone heals at their own pace, though.
We had two daughters after we lost Isaac and they both know that they have a big brother in heaven.

You never get over it - you just get used to it.
It's been 26 years. The month of April is still painful. But after one still birth and two miscarraiges - I had 5 beautiful children. Of those- two were premies- but now healthy adults making babies of their own. This is what I've lived by:

My Life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me-
I cannot see the colors
He weaves so carefully
Often times He weaves in sorrow
and I in foolish pride-
forget He sees the upper -
and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent
and the shuttles cease to fly -
Shall God unroll the canvas
and reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
in the Weavers skillful hand
as the threads of gold and silver
in the pattern He has planned.
Oh! My life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me -
I cannot see the colors
He weaves so carefully.-unknown author

THis is verse that my wife and I live by. It does help us a little bit.
Broken Chain
"We little knew that morning that God was going to call your name. In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same. It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for part of us went with you the day God called you home. You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide, and though we cannot see you, you are always by our side. Our family chain is broken and nothing seems the same, but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again."

Great thread to start...

I lost my son in October 2002. His oxygen was cut off at birth and he spent his 6.5 years here severely multiply disabled. I then had a stillborn in April 2004. My dad died two weeks after my daughter was born in August of 2005. I have worked as a victim advocate with the Kent County Sheriffs Department for 10 years, helping others face the death of a loved one. I have formally studied death and dying at GVSU. It never prepared me for the pain, but it did help me better understand the process and help others.
The pain does lessen to an extent. But every experience is different. Every heartbreak is the biggest, the worst, the hardest in the world to those that experience it. That's the most important thing to remember. Yours is yours and it is the hardest things you have ever and will ever face. Just as mine is mine. It does not cancel out empathy, sympathy or the ability to be supportive. It just is.

My heart goes out to all who have had to experience this type of tragedy, no matter the circumstances. It's a sucky club to belong to, without a doubt!

My heart goes out to all who have lost a child and their loved ones.
Here is a poem that helped me to deal with my son Seth's short life and his passing.

Heavens Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from Earth,
"It's time again for another birth,"
Sadi the angels to the Lord above.
"This child will need much love.
His progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments he may never show
And he'll require extra care
From the folks he meets way down there.
He may not run or laugh or play;
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways he won't adapt,
And he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please, Lord, find parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privelege given
In caring for this gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge so meek and mild
Is Heaven's very special child.

Now I can only pray that everyone on Earth would treat their children in this manner.

While I am not a parent and cannot remotely feel what you all have experienced, my heart aches for each and every one of you. I would like to be a mother with all of my being, and to imagine your precious child being taken from you is unthinkable. We never know why God does the things He does, but all of your questions will be answered on that glorious day when you are reunited with your child. My prayers are with you.

When God Calls Little Children

When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,

We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love.

For no heartache compares with the death of one small child

Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold

So He picks a little rosebud before it can grow old.

God knows how much we need them, so He takes but a few

To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult, still, somehow we must try,

The saddest word mankind knows will always be "goodbye."

So when a little child departs, we who are left behind

Must realize God loves children... Angels are hard to find.

wow wrote:

I think I'm going to be sick

May I ask, why?

KBs mom wrote:

When God Calls Little Children
When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold
So He picks a little rosebud before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, so He takes but a few
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult, still, somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children... Angels are hard to find.

We love you and we all know we have angels watching over us.

Have a great night.

jjv wrote:

Great thread to start...
I lost my son in October 2002. His oxygen was cut off at birth and he spent his 6.5 years here severely multiply disabled. I then had a stillborn in April 2004. My dad died two weeks after my daughter was born in August of 2005. I have worked as a victim advocate with the Kent County Sheriffs Department for 10 years, helping others face the death of a loved one. I have formally studied death and dying at GVSU. It never prepared me for the pain, but it did help me better understand the process and help others.
The pain does lessen to an extent. But every experience is different. Every heartbreak is the biggest, the worst, the hardest in the world to those that experience it. That's the most important thing to remember. Yours is yours and it is the hardest things you have ever and will ever face. Just as mine is mine. It does not cancel out empathy, sympathy or the ability to be supportive. It just is.
My heart goes out to all who have had to experience this type of tragedy, no matter the circumstances. It's a sucky club to belong to, without a doubt!

We hope this little thread helps you. Bless you.

KBs mom wrote:

I would like to start a forum for those who have suffered the loss of a child. It doesn't matter the age or how. Just a place where we can relate to one another.
I lost my daughter and her friend in October 2005. My daughter was only 13, her friend was 14.

Thank you for starting this here. I have read the other forum from the start, I never posted... I cried. That space where your child is never goes away. I thought for many years it was going to be filled with tears. The birthday, holidays and special occasions that were or would be so special were the hardest. You are so right, it helps even just reading the posts of others.
Thanks KB's Mom. Hugs to you and yours.