Minn. mom told she'd be arrested if autistic son went to church

Our church HAS made many, many attempts to work with this family and it has not been met with reason. This is a good, loving family but when the physical safety of MY children is on the line something needs to change.

It has nothing to do with G_d nor religion.

As far as your comment on "What is Autism? Something you pick up at a grocery store?" How shallow you are...as far as you attending church--with that comment I do not believe G_d would acknowledge you and your shallowness.

Bob Pearce wrote:

What is Autism? Something you pick up at the grocery store?
The behavior on the part of the church would keep me away, and I would have to wonder what God they worship.

I have 2 children with Autism. I lean more toward the church on this one because it has been written that they have offered fair accomidations to the family. Those who disagree with the church - I am greatful because you are thinking with your hearts. Most of the postings here siding with the church are doing so for selfish reasons but yet accuse this family of being selfish. From what I have learned so far from society is that you can only have a voice, be selfish, be right, ect. if you are perfect as many of you think that you are. Your day will come when you will ask for compassion and mercy from society - if not from scoiety then inevitability from GOD.

My wife loves and works with 13-year-old autistic children, and has frequently been hit, pinched, etc. by these children (who are often much stronger than average). There is usually no warning when an attack is about to occur. These children are isolated at school for good reason.

This priest has an obligation to protect the other church members, and is doing the right thing. Maybe a separate room similar to a "Baby Room" could be built.

Mother of disabled wrote:

... Do not judge less ye be judged.

You, and many others, are using this quote out of context. Because what follows basically says (paraphrasing here -- the message is more important than the words):

"For as you judge others, so too will you be judged."

It's not an admonishment against making judgements -- it's an admonishment against hypocrisy.

If the priest has offered the family the two options mentioned (special room or services at their home)-- then this family is probably not facing the reality of their son's condition and abilities.

If he has incontinence problems -- he needs to be wearing Depends-type garments. When he starts to act out during the services, the parents need to take him out of the church. If he lashes out at others without provocation, then the parents need to ensure he's not sitting near others. If he's too big/strong for them to control -- they need to find someone who can help control him when he physically acts out.

It's not an easy situation, but a child with this degree of autism will probably never "fit" in many normal life situations.

Sue C wrote:

I have 2 children with Autism. I lean more toward the church on this one because it has been written that they have offered fair accomidations to the family. Those who disagree with the church - I am greatful because you are thinking with your hearts. Most of the postings here siding with the church are doing so for selfish reasons but yet accuse this family of being selfish. From what I have learned so far from society is that you can only have a voice, be selfish, be right, ect. if you are perfect as many of you think that you are. Your day will come when you will ask for compassion and mercy from society - if not from scoiety then inevitability from GOD.

Which posts are you referring to that are being so selfish? Are you saying we are selfish to expect to go to church and find a safe environment? Do you honestly think that means that we think we are perfect? I don't know about selfish, but your post certainly is self-righteous.

Member of St Josephs wrote:

Our church HAS made many, many attempts to work with this family and it has not been met with reason. This is a good, loving family but when the physical safety of MY children is on the line something needs to change.

I have heard the same (many attempts to work with this family) From another member of St. Josephs.

Just remember this all you people out there that have no tolerance for this………....But only for the grace of GOD go I………....will you feel the same way if buy some chance you or a loved one is hurt or injured and become disabled

Tess of St Paul wrote:

<quoted text>
If he's too big/strong for them to control -- they need to find someone who can help control him when he physically acts out.

Perhaps this is the Solution -- hire a Personal Care Attendant (PCA) specifically for church services. He or she would have to be well-trained in controlling unruly, full-sized people, be strong and able, and also bring sensitivity and compassion to the autistic child.

I can recommend a retired Marine. How far is Bertha from Zimmerman?

Just Me wrote:

Just remember this all you people out there that have no tolerance for this………....But only for the grace of GOD go I………....will you feel the same way if buy some chance you or a loved one is hurt or injured and become disabled

Did you read the article? This isn't about people not wanting to be around someone who has been hurt or injured or became disabled. This is about an individual with the strength of a large man and the mentality of a small child not being allowed to disrupt and endanger an entire congregation. You should read not only the PP article, but also the two over at the Star-Tribune to get a little more of the whole picture.

Just Me wrote:

Just remember this all you people out there that have no tolerance for this………....But only for the grace of GOD go I………....will you feel the same way if buy some chance you or a loved one is hurt or injured and become disabled

See if you can get Charlie Manson out for a Sunday Furlough so you can take him to church with you. He's hurting too. He's mentally ill. Do you think he chose to be mentally ill? Of course not, but I don't want him in the pew next to me because I value my life. Get real.

Red Ryder wrote:

mom sounds like the kind who gets angry when you scold her kid who's kicking your seat the whole way through the movie.

I think you hit the nail right on the head, Red. The Red Star had a longer article on this and try as they might to make the pastor look like a villian it's obvious that this woman is a real piece of work- kinda like a Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome deal.

What if Jesus comes back as an autistic child?

one has to do what one has to do
get control of the kid and get him on his meds

I snapped out as was requested already. I agree that the church is and has offered other ways to acommadate the family.

But..........did they do it before they asked Mom to keep the son away?

As for the immature comment on the Pentacostal church: "Have you tried one?"

If not, you should.

human too wrote:

This is not a tolerance issue, but a public safety issue. Other news sources go into greater detail and reveal a pattern of not only disruptive but dangerous behavior. Of course the child is not acting maliciously-- he simply has no concept of the danger to others. This step by the church is a "last resort" after other, less drastic solutions have failed. It sounds harsh to say this, but perhaps this child needs to be institutionalized. Are there younger siblings at home who are also at risk?

My guess would be that this family, parents included have a variety of disabilities and possibly mental health issues. I would also venture that the children have significant enough disabilities that there has been intervention from the county level. My final hypothesis is that this family has strong beliefs about the help and support they will and will not accept. This is a family that barely gets by at the level of functioning they have and that even though we probably would not want Mr and Mrs Race to parent our children, nor would we want to spend a day in their lives, these kids deserve better than this and maybe the outrage to being banned from church is the attention this family needed to get the help their family needs.

As many posters have speculated, there is more to this story than has been reported. There have been other incidents that were more dangerous. Sadly, it seems that the Races are resistant to help from the county and, based on how they work with their child (restaints, sitting on him, home schooling etc) they have not accepted advice and training from other groups who work w/autism.

Just Me wrote:

Just remember this all you people out there that have no tolerance for this………....But only for the grace of GOD go I………....will you feel the same way if buy some chance you or a loved one is hurt or injured and become disabled

If something were to happen to me (stroke, brain injury, etc.) that changed my personality and behavior and made me disruptive or dangerous to others, YOU BET that I want somebody to intervene and keep others safe. That would be the decent thing to do.

My heart goes out to the priests and other leaders at this church-- this must have been an excruciatingly painful decision for them-- but their obligations to the rest of the parishioners are just as important, and just as valid, as their duties to this one family. God bless them.

To the Disgruntled Outsider- you are a completly crule and evil person. Would you say the same thing about persons with disabilities if you have them in your family. Obvisouly you have never had your life touched by these truely caring and compassionate people. They just have some outside stimulas that sets them off, but regarding that they are wonderful HUMANS!!!

Country Girl wrote:

To the Disgruntled Outsider- you are a completly crule and evil person. Would you say the same thing about persons with disabilities if you have them in your family. Obvisouly you have never had your life touched by these truely caring and compassionate people. They just have some outside stimulas that sets them off, but regarding that they are wonderful HUMANS!!!

It is hard to call this man-child "truly caring and compassionate" when he has apparently already tried to hurt another child. Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning children can be mildly or profoundly autistic, and everywhere in between. Some children with autism are wonderful and sweet, others are not. From all reports I have read, this one is not, at least not at church.

I feel for the family, who seems to want to connect with God in the way they know how. I also see the church's perspective, that the need to keep their entire congregation safe outweighs the desire to include everyone. Jesus also said that it would be better for anyone who harms a child to have a millstone around his neck and be thrown into the sea. Should that apply in this situation? If so, for which child? The autistic child? Or the one he hurt?