Ruben Rosario: Forgotten ... and fed up: A voiceless American d...

A $190,000 mortgage........enough said. No offense, but given their income and with two kids, they already have the benefit of paying little to nothing in state/income taxes and with his benefits with the union, has little outlay for healh insurance.

Forget all of that, what gets me upset is the way this article is written, as though this family lives in Ethioppia. Take this line for example......"This is the hard knock facing many American families once accustomed to a more comfortable way of life"..... Is Rueben Rosario implying that Americans had it easy 150, 100 or even 50 years ago? We have established so many methods of assistance, from health, education, utilities to housing that it is possible for a young couple with two young children to secure a $190,000 mortgage as oppossed to the days when you either lived with family or went with out. I'm sorry; I understand as well as the next guy that people get in a pinch but since when is the plight of a couple in their early 20s seen as catastrophic because they might have to choose between two cars, cell phones and internet vs paying for a utility? You know what; your young, you have two small children and one pay check.....things are suppossed to be tough.

Hang in there Allison. Things are much harder these days than they used to be, thanks to all the liberals in this taxing state. I work two jobs, have for 12 years. My husband also works full-time, we pretty much still live paycheck to paycheck. We have put one child through college and the other one is in college. Our children did not get free schooling. Why do we let others in from other countries and give them free financial aid. I don't ask for handouts, don't expect them. I'm willing to work, and work hard for what I wnat. But I'm sick and tired of giving it these lazy arse's who won't and don't want to work. The cost of living is increasing faster than our pay. The proof is there, look at the profits of the big oil companies. Maybe Mr. Freddie Mac, or whatever his name is, should give back his $38 million dollar salary for bringing that company to the brink. So should all the other CEOs that have run companies into the ground and expect the taxpayer (us) to bail them out. It starts at the top, and the politicians running this country are nothing but a joke.

seriously wrote:

<quoted text>
Do I make mistakes? Yep. But you know what? I DO something about it rather than call a newspaper and complain and blame others for my problems. There is so much that Alison's family can do to change the situation and they're just not doing everything that they can!
If she or her husband were in an accident and disabled, then yes, I would feel sorry for her. But a lot of people here are giving her great & FREE advice on other means of supplemental income, and even names of books for financial management. All she is saying is that I am not giving up my cable and internet because I "need" it!
Okay, until you do something to change the situation and work for it like everyone else, then I have no sympathy for you.

Do you live in her home and know what she's doing? It's just unbelievable how cruel people can be. Like I said, I hope you never have an unexpected emergency or crisis. My in-laws had plenty of money in savings and were all set to retire until my mother-in-law got cancer and her insurance didn't pay everything. Now she is in remission and they are desperately trying to rebuild their savings in a very short amount of time, or they may just never retire. Sometimes things happen that aren't in your plans. Sometimes you have to make adjustments that aren't fun. But pretty much ALWAYS you don't know what's going on in someone else's life, so judging this woman and her family might make you feel all high and mighty, but it makes the world a little worse of a place. So good job.

We are a family of four with one income...I stay home and homeschool our girls ages 7 and 9....here are some ways we save money....Get rid of the television!!!!! Television is so bad for kids. We get all of our media from the library. Hang clothes outside in summer, inside in winter, have a huge garden, shop local or join a co-op, walk and ride bike instead of drive, tennis, basketball, ice skating, swimming at the lake, and other local activities are free. Make your own bread. It is cheaper, and tastes way better. Do not use central air. We keep our house at 64 in the winter. Turn down your water heater. Eat at home instead of out. Shop at thrift stores. Instead of buying expensive cleaning products, make you own...cheap and simple. Use cloth diapers and make your own wipes. There are countless ways to reduce spending while increasing the quality of your life....we do it every day!!!!!!!!!!

Britt wrote:

CRY ME A RIVER. Live within your means. Pay the important bills: mortgage, gas, phone, etc. FIRST. Quit trying to get the so-called rich to pay for your lifestyle. My family lived on $17,000/year my senior year in high school - that was for a family of 6. Stupid girl. Her hubs is union and making a base of $42,000 - sans OT - and she had to quit her job because he got more hours? so now he's making OT, too? And they can't live on that? Maybe there's another issue like shopping or the casino???**** it up and pay your bills and QUIT YOUR WHINING!!!!

When were you a senior in high school? The 70's?? Your comment is stupid

Stories like this make me glad I don't pay for the Pioneer Press.

Alison, I wish I could give you a pat on the back and but you a quart of ice cream.

These problems right now? They're good problems to have. There's no war raging in our neighborhoods. You've got insurance. And you've got family. Someday you'll be able to help out your kids, just like your family is able to help you.

In so many parts of the world, life is teribbly precarious.

You'll pull through this one kiddo, just like you pulled through so many other tough times that seemed impossible. You know you're not alone in this struggle. And your cheering section just got bigger.

Mrs R wrote:

I'm wondering when our state started to be overrun by right wing Republicans? Has anyone else noticed that the majority of people who post on these message forums are far right conservatives? What happened to a little balance?.........Oh wait, now I remember. The Democrats can't sit here and post all day because they have jobs, unlike the rich Republicans who get tax breaks from the government and wouldn't dare lower themselves to actually go out and work for a living.

You must be the most delusional person that has ever lived. You have no idea what you are talking about and post things simply to get people to respond to your drivel...I guess I'm guilty.

Tim - St Paul wrote:

I am sorry to say but this sentiment of the woman in this article is why the housing market was doomed to come crashing down on some people. Such as the line "she bought into the 'American Dream' even if she couldnt afford it." I think people really have lost track of what the "American Dream" meant. We can redefine it as much as we want, but what more and more people view as the "American Dream" is NOTHING like what most people think of today. It is NOT buying and owning a house. The American Dream has always meant an OPPORTUNITY to make a better life. You notice the key word in there??? OPPORTUNITY, nothing more nothing less. Sadly not everyone is going to make a better life because of choices they make. It sickens me that we have these bailouts of peoples mortgages but we arent dealing with WHY & HOW people got into that position. I am sick and tired of putting 1 bandaid on top of another bandaid on top of another bandaid and NEVER dealing with the cause of the problem. That sadly is there are fewer and fewer people who have any clue at how to manage their money and also have even less of a clue at what the difference between a want and a need is.

Personal responsibility is one thing but lenders who give mortgages to people in amounts they clearly cannot afford is another. Of course, I see no one on here blaming them. Just like no one wants to blame the credit card companies for camping outside the student unions at colleges, giving credit to 18-year olds who have no income. It's a recipe for disaster, yet they are given a free pass and the people who make uninformed choices are demonized. Sickening.

Many people have taken the time to present Allison with their own stories of struggle and success, others have offered solid advice, and Allison responds with obstinance, excuses and, finally, this:

"Maybe think about it like this Government is our parents We are the children"

Well that explains everything, doesn't it?

I've no more time to waste with this one, time to get to work.

Good work Ruben, you've really outdone yourself this time.

XD40 Fan wrote:

Allison, I've just read more of your posts. Here is a cruel reality... When you had children, got married, and assumed a large mortgage before getting the education you now so wisely value, you made a choice. That choice may now preclude you from getting that education - at least for now. Cut your expenses now and make a long-term plan to achieve that which is most important to you. This has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with being an adult.

Our society is failing because we've put our belief in entitlement, choices and assumptions. I am ENTITLED to what everyone else has regardless of my age, education or job. So I CHOOSE to live as high as the bank will let me live because someone else is responsible for saying "no". And I ASSUME that the economy will always be good and bad will never happen to ME, therefore, my house will increase in value, my job will pay more and more, outpacing inflation and rising taxes (and I will always have a job!), my health will never be an issue, my children will be flawless, my marriage will stay intact, I will never be hit by natural disaster, my parents won't need my intervention.

But reality is something else, and regardless of income, too many of us are living a situation away from financial disaster. We have taken entitlement to a new personal high, we have all made choices based on our wants because we no longer understand the difference between a need and a want (at its simplest, a need is something you would die without), and the life we have built on a foundation of assumption is not on solid ground!

Life is NOT fair, and for too many of us in this new, scary economy, it's like living in a storm on the high seas, but we'll survive if we learn to give 110% and take as little as we need, if we all begin taking personal responsibility for our choices, and if we gracefully extend a hand (even if it's an empty hand of friendship) to those who are drowning.

$42,000 a year and can't pay your bills? OMG...
I simply can't comprehend where your money is going.
My family of 3 lives on approx 20,000 a year...in a house that costs 1000/month to rent. That doesn't leave a lot of extra money - we pay utilities and our luxury is cable & internet. We drive a 21 year old car! Do you have a shiny, newer model car? More than one?

I understand the intention for this article, but at the same time, shake my head as I read it, because something just isn't jiving. WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING?$1250 a month mortgage is only $15,000 a year - where's the rest of the money going?

human too wrote:

Allison, one of the disadvantages of forums like this is that written posts tend to come off "colder" than if they were spoken. It was not my intent to "slam" you or your family personally. You sound like resilient, resourceful people, and I think you will come through this rough patch just fine.
Have you noticed (I have) that most people who seem to be "comfortably settled" in life seem to be middle-aged or older? There is a reason for that. It is because that stage of settled comfort doesn't just drop out of the sky. It is the product of decades of planning, and saving, and careful spending. In short, it is an achievement. Almost all young families start out struggling. When my kids were your children's ages, we literally had to decide between hot dogs and diapers, and I made trips to the Blood Bank to help with grocery money. But I never considered it anybody's "fault".(And I'm not accusing you of that, either-- I am trying to address the larger, widespread societal issue of instantly claiming "victimhood" when life gets tough).
Hang in there, Allison. You and your family are going to make it.

In discussing this issue, one needs to differentiate between a sense of entitlement, which many people indeed have now, from comparative economic metrics. Recent studies have shown that families in the 1960s had much more disposable income than do families today.One should not live beyond their means, no, but the point of this article and other reports like it is that it's getting more difficult for people to make ends meet now. So simply telling people to cinch up their belts may not be entirely realistic, especially since you're comparing the contemporary situation to a different economic history.

Most people are just an accident away from getting into financial trouble. Last year, I fell down the steps. Slipped on a toy. My own fault really since I should have turned on the light but anyway....I was lucky. I had a lot of vacation saved up, a flexible job, and somewhat decent insurance where I only had to pay $6,000 out of pocket. We also had started to aggressively pay off our credit cards two years prior and start an emergency fund. Long story short, we didn't get any further ahead paying stuff off but luckily we didn't go any further in the hole-we easily could have. It could happen to anyone of us at anytime. Be is taking a loan we couldn't afford, refinancing the house for that trip to Hawaii, the boat, or plasma TV, or not preparing for a fall down the steps (statistics show most falls happen in the house). Its the DOH factor. Hindsight is 20-20 and we all do things we look back on later that we consider stupid. The real question is, what have we learned for this economic mess? And I mean all of us. What have I learned? My goal is to get all the bills down to where one person can pay them. Its very aggressive and I'm not sure I can do it but I'm going to try. Why? Because, we are all one accident away from financial trouble and when your laid up for six weeks not knowing when your going to work again, all for a toy, it really opens up your eyes. We all need to be prepared for that fall. If we learn from all those DOH's, all the should have, could have, would have’s what more can anyone ask for?

This lady needs to accept responsibility for buying a home they couldn't afford instead of whining. What were they thinking? Everyone wants to experience the American dream of home ownership but responsible people don't mooch off someone else to accomplish that, nor do they blame everyone except themselves; they save up a good chunk of money for a down payment and then find AFFORDABLE housing...obviously for much less than $190,000 -- they are available!

Seriously stupid... When were you a high schooler and what high school??? Stupid is as stupid does? Wake up it is 2008!!! Things have changed moron

Allison and her family are struggling - and I know
the struggle - I know own a home - but after all
the bills are paid - there is no money left for
an emergency or something that comes up - because
of bad insullation and bad roof my house has mold
issues - I make $30K a year - yet don't qualify for help with anything cuz I make too much money...Something needs to be done with the American Economy - I work hard and struggle hard -
so do a lot of people out there - yet there are
lots of "families" making a lot more by bilking
the welfare systems by collection in more than
one county or state - check those facts.

I'm appalled (but not the least bit surprised) at the lack of empathy I see here. Economic times are tough for many of us. We see the division that Allison spoke of in spades. Don't expect it to get better. Politicians and bomb-throwers on both sides of the aisle benefit from the divisions they foment in our society. As economic times get tougher while the rich get richer, expect some unrest and possibly violence in coming years. Maybe we'll come to our senses before that happens, but people aren't generally that smart.

Suburban Mom wrote:

<quoted text>
Life is NOT fair, and for too many of us in this new, scary economy, it's like living in a storm on the high seas, but we'll survive if we learn to give 110% and take as little as we need, if we all begin taking personal responsibility for our choices, and if we gracefully extend a hand (even if it's an empty hand of friendship) to those who are drowning.

Very good comment. It pretty much sums up the good and bad with personel responsibility, societal responsibility and just plain luck.

Rule #1:

LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS!

Rule #2:

CHILDREN ARE A PRIVILEGE FOR THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD TO HAVE THEM AND RAISE THEM (at last check that amounted to over $300,000 for a dependent's lifetime).
CHILDREN ARE NOT A RIGHT! YOU DON'T JUST GET TO **** BABIES OUT TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER OR TO FEED YOUR EGO WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!~

Rule #3:

BECAUSE SOMEONE TRIES TO SELL YOU SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY IT! WHETHER IT'S A HOME, CAR, BOAT, RV, OR ----HELL, EVEN A CAN OF SODA POP...THERE ARE VAST DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WANTS AND NEEDS!!! THIS CONCEPT IS TAUGHT AND SHOULD BE LEARNED IN THE THIRD GRADE!!!

Rule #4:

PICK YOURSELF UP BY THE BOOTSTRAPS AND IMPROVE YOUR LOT AND QUIT BLAMING OTHERS AND POINTING FINGERS. YOUR SITUATION WAS CREATED BY YOU! FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE! START MAKING BETTER CHOICES, IF NOT FOR YOUR SAKE THEN FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKE! THEY WILL SOON BE OLD ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT THAT YOU ARE FAILING THEM BY THE POOR CHOICES OF YOUR OWN MAKING!!!!!!

~Semper Fi~