Happy Mother's Day: Woman pregnant with 18th child

peteoo wrote:

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I call that prejudice.

Definitely the most insightful comment yet.

Prejudice: preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

It is frightening to see the level of ignorance by those posting their negative opinions on this forum. It would be normal to have questions about this family (e.g., "Are the children happy?" "Do the parents have difficulty supporting that many children?" "Is there any evidence that children raised like this turn out OK?") But the prejudice being displayed is unbelievable. From anger to demands for government control. This must be what Nazi Germany was like when they started exterminating Jews and others who didn't fit into the "normal" mold.

I will ask woodtv8 to delete this page once and for all. A lot of sick comments and cruelity. Bad verbal abuse must be STOPPED!! And, I will do my best to do it.

To all the population control freakos - kill yourselves to make room for more people who want to live.

Good for her wrote:

To all the population control freakos - kill yourselves to make room for more people who want to live.

You are nutz.

a mom wrote:

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Ask the 3 oldest, they are old enough to be out of homeschool. They are still home doing chores and bringing up kids.

That is what I am saying. Why haven't they gone to college? I guess they will do that at home on line now. They sure do keep those kids close to home. 5854

DiamondsnPearls wrote:

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Not necissarily.
There are a lot of things that people waste money on in our society-
This family puts it's priority in human life, rather than things.
I have 2 sons- 19 and 17. Both do their own laundry, cook full meals on a daily basis, and work. The 19 year old goes to college on a full scholarship, and holds down a full time ob- the 17 year old works part-time, and goes to HS.
Both have to to clean their bathrooms, load the dishwasher, walk the dog, change and launder their own sheets, towels, and clothes, and chip in to clean the general areas of this house (corners, the garage, and they BOTH work on the lawn and garden with us}.
They have social lives, friends, parties, and fun.
Resposibility begins at a young age.
No child has ever gone wrong because they hae responsibilities and are taught at very young ages to be responsible.
Children go wrong when parents let them run free, and be children without any direction, training or structure.
We learn to be responsible adults in childhood. That is what childhood is about- learning to become a responsible ADULT. No child can become one without lessons learned early on.

They have social lives? How could that be possible? I helped out too-but THIS is ridiculous. Why not sign them up with MerryMaids!
What do YOU do-bon bons and the soaps?
If this were actually true-I'd pay for your therapy!

peteoo wrote:

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How much time have you spent with the Duggars?
How can you possibly make the statements you are making? I think you are jumping to a number of conclusions. Let me jump to your question.
I assume you mean 'how can they function on the same level as their peers when they are adults.'
I come from a very large family. I'd say that my brothers and sisters have adapted very well to the world and register on the high end of the bell curve when it comes to achievement. I think we hit right smack dab in the middle of the
"perceived as 'normal'" bell curve.
I still know a lot of the other kids that I grew up with, who were also from large families. They've also done just fine.
I think many who have posted here perceive what it must be like, based on their (limited) point of view. They come up with a negative assessment of the current conditions or future probabilities.
I call that prejudice.
COULD it be bad? Absolutely.
Doesn't look that way to me though.

I also come from a large family so I speak from experience. I am not jumping to conclusions, especially now that I have a family of my own. I know how hard it is to give each child much needed PARENTAL guidance that makes for a well adjusted human being. My siblings and I have done well for ourselves, but 18 kids??? Come on, with your high acheiving brain you have to see the lunacy of having that many kids. They're lucky that they've been blessed with 17 healthy children. God forbid they should have an unhealthy baby (she is way into high-risk pregnancy range) how would they handle those demands?

This forum is a place where people come to state their opinions. Get off your high horse and take these statements for what their worth. Words on a screen.

And since you know the family so well, go out and buy a baby gift. Don't forget to get 17 little gifts, lest the other siblings feel left out because all of the attention is on the baby...

...ha! like that would happen.

Mom of 4 wrote:

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To stick with terms the Duggars would agree with...its called "sin nature." We all sin...which means there are disagreements, misbehavior, and discontent. It is just absolutely beyond the realm of believability that they would ALWAYS be so happy, so perfect.

How many hours of programming on the Duggars is available? 10-20 Maybe? I hardly think this snapshot of their lives is truly indicative of ALL things that go on in their lives.

I know people that are truly happy most of the time. Very rarely do I see them unhappy. Some I don't ever see unhappy. I would guess that they are from time to time, but just because I never see it doesn't me it doesn't exist. My guess is that unhappiness is not a significant part of their lives based on what I see. This may be the same with the Duggars.

I refuse to buy into the "they should be unhappy because I am" attitude, that I see from a number of folks on this board.

Mom of 4 wrote:

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Except that under the Gothard theology that they whole-heartedly ascribe to...nothing but a smiling face and perfect obediance is acceptable.

Is this true?

I took about 15 minutes perusing gothard's website. I think he acknowledges that there are unhappy times. I missed the "the beatings will continue until morale improves" reference.

One of my father's famous lines is/was "noone said you had to like it." In other words..you have to deal with the task at hand regardless of how you might feel about it. My life as a child was well grounded in that reallity. I can well imagine that some of the kids don't want to do their chores from time to time. I imagine they might get a similar response...."you don't have to like it...but you do have to do it."

I think there are many on this board who have suggestd as much. When you live in a big family, you have to do things that you might not otherwise want to do. THAT is reality.

Mom of 4 wrote:

<quoted text> To acheive that, parents are instructed to start physical discipline at a VERY young age (as in, months in the single digits) so that children are afraid to reveal their true feelings or step out of line.

I missed that. Do you have a reference?
I'll need to think about that when you provide it.

I find it difficult to imagine that a parent would not want to connect with their child to understand what is going on and what they are thinking.

I can fully understand a parents (my own!)lack of desire to listen to any form of consistent bitching, whining, and moaning. The question is "what does that produce?" Leniency from the parent? Sometimes I flex but only if I see the sense in it. I refuse to flex based on the constancy of bitching.

I could fully understand my parent's inability to deal with 1/2 an hour of bellyaching from me. I've said it before. You've got bigger fish to fry
when you have that many kids.

Mom of 4 wrote:

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Children trained this way turn out in one of two ways...some will accept their lifestyle as normal and correct, and will perpetrate it on their own children. But some will labor over "World's best mom" gifts and always presented a smiling face to the outside world and visitors to the home...all while seething with rage inside. But the thing is...as children, they both look the same. Its called "survival."

I see things as multiple shades of gray. You suggest the possbility is either end of the spectrum. I'll suggest that the vast majority of kids will wind up somewhere in the middle of those extremes with a distribution that looks like a bell curve.

Of course they'll keep having children - that's how they support themselves! This couple isn't fooling me - they're exploiting their children as a way to financial freedom. His regular full time job serves to pay the taxes on all the freebies these freaks get for behaving like rabbits. Mrs. Duggar doesn't mind because as long as she keeps having babies no one will ask why she doesn't supplement the family income with a job outside the home. You know, like the rest of us.

As long as we tune into the story via Discovery Channel, these people will be money makers and have no reason t behave responsibly.

Eons ago, families strove to produce many offspring as a means to survival. These days, it's just another way to make a living.

I will end it wrote:

I will ask woodtv8 to delete this page once and for all. A lot of sick comments and cruelity. Bad verbal abuse must be STOPPED!! And, I will do my best to do it.

Why? What right do you have to end the conversation? Who appointed you board monitor? If you don't want to participate you don't have to. Yes, some of the comments are not nice,some of them are critical, but we call that freedom of speech. If you don't like it, then get off the board.

a mom wrote:

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When you grew up in a large family, where you homeschooled and kept at home at all times OR where you allowed to go to public/private school and hang out with fiends?

Are you (as well) suggesting that all kids who are homeschooled are deprived of social interaction with kids their age?

I know parents who's kids go to private and pulbic school that are on a tight leash when not in school.

How many people pitching a fit here come from large families or were homeschooled?

I wholeheartedly agree that kids that don't get social interaction with other kids their age are
less likely to be successful at social interaction than kids who get a healthy exposure.

I can't imagine anything better than having a big family AND being exposed to lots of other kids around my age. I was lucky to have had that :)

You seem to think the Duggar kids don't have friends? Do you? Do you know this or are you assuming it? Do you have a reference?

JD in NC wrote:

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I also come from a large family so I speak from experience. I am not jumping to conclusions, especially now that I have a family of my own. I know how hard it is to give each child much needed PARENTAL guidance that makes for a well adjusted human being. My siblings and I have done well for ourselves, but 18 kids??? Come on, with your high acheiving brain you have to see the lunacy of having that many kids. They're lucky that they've been blessed with 17 healthy children. God forbid they should have an unhealthy baby (she is way into high-risk pregnancy range) how would they handle those demands?
This forum is a place where people come to state their opinions. Get off your high horse and take these statements for what their worth. Words on a screen.
And since you know the family so well, go out and buy a baby gift. Don't forget to get 17 little gifts, lest the other siblings feel left out because all of the attention is on the baby...
...ha! like that would happen.

I have to agree with you here having that many babies. I stated in one of my posts (a while back)she is not getting any younger. So far she as had 17 children 2 sets of twins, 2 c-sections (you can only have so many of those) if this woman is not going to think about her mental health she should at least think about her physical health. Your body can only take so much. I won't be surprised to hear that someday she may have to have a hystorectomy (I know I spelled that wrong)I watch one of their shows one evening.

Driven wrote:

More power to them. I've seen their TV specials. There's a lot of love in that home. These kids are probably more "together" than half the American population. They'll be responsible, mature members of society instead of drunk alcoholic college kids who get 5 different women pregnant. They're good parents. I'd rather see them have 100 kids than one bad parent have one.

Good Parents? Why are young men of 18 and 20 still living at home, no jobs, no future plans. And lets face it - no prospects without a college education. Just how is Mr. Duggar paying for all of the things that these people show off?$ from Discovery Channel? Gifts from churches as mission outreach? Instruments, pool table, foosball, Disneyland, plane rides, these things are expensive for families of 4! Is this why they keep having more children - so that Discovery Healht can make more specials on them?

fed up with the mess wrote:

<quoted text>That is what I am saying. Why haven't they gone to college? I guess they will do that at home on line now. They sure do keep those kids close to home. 5854

They can't go to college - there they would be exposed to books, magazines, television, or internet that have worldly or sensual content. Jim Bob specifically recommends removing ALL of these things from the home. Now, I am all for restricting my children's access to materials that are not age-appropriate, but these young men and women have been raised in a vacuum. They could never go out and get a job, an apartment, or even date - they would be victims waiting to happen!

Lets just hope Discovery Health is paying them big and that Jim Bob is setting some aside for them all live on as they grow old.

SQUIDBILLIES

Jim Bob Steve Mike Doug wrote:

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#18 should be named "Justa-Stop" Duggar. But that's only my opinion.

FUNNY!!!!!!

Love it.

It's a 'gina, not a clown car!

peteoo wrote:

<quoted text>
Are you (as well) suggesting that all kids who are homeschooled are deprived of social interaction with kids their age?
I know parents who's kids go to private and pulbic school that are on a tight leash when not in school.
How many people pitching a fit here come from large families or were homeschooled?
I wholeheartedly agree that kids that don't get social interaction with other kids their age are
less likely to be successful at social interaction than kids who get a healthy exposure.
I can't imagine anything better than having a big family AND being exposed to lots of other kids around my age. I was lucky to have had that :)
You seem to think the Duggar kids don't have friends? Do you? Do you know this or are you assuming it? Do you have a reference?

I admit I am assuming it. The kids do not have time to have friends. Look on their website. The older kids have at least one younger child with them from the time they wake up.
You were lucky that you were exposed to other kids on a daily basis. From what I see (IMO) they do not. The kids always seem so robotic. You never see a child act up. Sorry, but when you have that many children in one area, whether they are siblings or friends there is going to be arguing and tears. You never see that. You never even hear a baby cry. I guess I compare them the John and Kate plus 8 where you see real kids interacting and the parents interacting with them.

JD in NC wrote:

<quoted text>
I also come from a large family so I speak from experience. I am not jumping to conclusions, especially now that I have a family of my own. I know how hard it is to give each child much needed PARENTAL guidance that makes for a well adjusted human being. My siblings and I have done well for ourselves, but 18 kids??? Come on, with your high acheiving brain you have to see the lunacy of having that many kids. They're lucky that they've been blessed with 17 healthy children. God forbid they should have an unhealthy baby (she is way into high-risk pregnancy range) how would they handle those demands?
This forum is a place where people come to state their opinions. Get off your high horse and take these statements for what they're worth. Words on a screen.
And since you know the family so well, go out and buy a baby gift. Don't forget to get 17 little gifts, lest the other siblings feel left out because all of the attention is on the baby...
...ha! like that would happen.

Peteoo? Are you there? Did I actually shut you up?

DiamondsnPearls wrote:
<quoted text>
Not necissarily.
There are a lot of things that people waste money on in our society-
This family puts it's priority in human life, rather than things.
I have 2 sons- 19 and 17. Both do their own laundry, cook full meals on a daily basis, and work. The 19 year old goes to college on a full scholarship, and holds down a full time ob- the 17 year old works part-time, and goes to HS.
Both have to to clean their bathrooms, load the dishwasher, walk the dog, change and launder their own sheets, towels, and clothes, and chip in to clean the general areas of this house (corners, the garage, and they BOTH work on the lawn and garden with us}.
They have social lives, friends, parties, and fun.
Resposibility begins at a young age.
No child has ever gone wrong because they hae responsibilities and are taught at very young ages to be responsible.
Children go wrong when parents let them run free, and be children without any direction, training or structure.
We learn to be responsible adults in childhood. That is what childhood is about- learning to become a responsible ADULT. No child can become one without lessons learned early on.
They have social lives? How could that be possible? I helped out too-but THIS is ridiculous. Why not sign them up with MerryMaids!
What do YOU do-bon bons and the soaps?
If this were actually true-I'd pay for your therapy!

Therapy for what? Actually raising her children properly with taking on responsability so they can move out of her house and start the own life. I think you need the therary sweetheart.(your supossed to tech your kids all that stuff. It's called being a good mother. Maybe your to far from that catagory to comprehend... It's ok just take it slow)