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Adam

United States

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#1
Dec 10, 2009
 
I apologize if I posted this in the wrong forum, but I help operate a psychology discussion chatroom on the largest IRC (Internet Relay Chat) network online and am looking for people to help expand our community. The Internet is a valuable tool and live chat is very productive! I am calling out to all psychologists, or students enrolled/interested in psychology to come join and share your thoughts with other like-minded psychonauts.

If you are interested in checking it out and helping us get a live community going (there is already a huge philosophy chatroom), you can chat online via:

widget.mibbit.com/...

Or, irc.undernet.org #psychology

Peace!
going mad

Italy

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#2
Nov 1, 2010
 
iím here because iím having social problems... i have no confidence and i always feel like people are judging me. i am so aware of everything i do and say and i feel stupid about everything that i say. this is really bad at work, i work in a very sociable bar. i must be showing my weaknesses as people donít really seem to like me very much and i over heard a girl saying that iím weird. i always get on well with males and am extremely anxious about being around females and as a result donít have many social interactions with them. the worst thing is that i love to dance and perform but when i am at work and all of the staff are dancing and loose, i freeze. even if someone starts dancing with me i freeze and walk away. i think this is because i take peoples pointless comments to heart and in the past people have commented and laughed at my dancing in clubs. when this happens now, i run to the bathroom without being noticed and i cry my eyes out. i just donít know what to do as i want to be like the other girls and i feel as if i am really going crazy.
sara

Iraq

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#3
Dec 4, 2010
 
i have a friend and she dont know what she do and i dont know how i help her , she paint and said all time i fell my heart is burst and explosion what she do .......... please
caligirl

Inglewood, CA

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#4
Dec 18, 2010
 
going mad wrote:
iím here because iím having social problems... i have no confidence and i always feel like people are judging me. i am so aware of everything i do and say and i feel stupid about everything that i say. this is really bad at work, i work in a very sociable bar. i must be showing my weaknesses as people donít really seem to like me very much and i over heard a girl saying that iím weird. i always get on well with males and am extremely anxious about being around females and as a result donít have many social interactions with them. the worst thing is that i love to dance and perform but when i am at work and all of the staff are dancing and loose, i freeze. even if someone starts dancing with me i freeze and walk away. i think this is because i take peoples pointless comments to heart and in the past people have commented and laughed at my dancing in clubs. when this happens now, i run to the bathroom without being noticed and i cry my eyes out. i just donít know what to do as i want to be like the other girls and i feel as if i am really going crazy.
Dear going mad, you must first like who you are. Until that happens dance at home. Stop putting yourself in situations that cause you pain. You owe other people nothing except respect, and some don't deserve that. Find one think that you love or like about yourself and go with that, next week find something else you like about yourself. See how that works you might find that you will began to draw people to yourself that fit with who you are.
Lost feeling

United States

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#5
Jan 2, 2011
 
I have been experiencing such a lack of emotion for the better part of 6 months. I just don't want to go out have no desire to do much of anything. I don't feel sad but don't laugh much.

Causing a problem with my g/f. Not sure what to do.
just-a-girl

Finland

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#6
Mar 10, 2011
 
I feel like I'm almost exactly like you and I'm still struggling to come to terms with my low self-esteem and confidence around other people. I'm also a really good dancer but when I was a teenager, I participated in a dance competition as part of a group but I always felt I wasn't good enough and I was bullied by some members of that group. Also, my self-esteem issues affected my social life and when I was 20, I picked completely the wrong guy, with whom I stayed for 6 years. Now, years later, I realise that I'm actually a really good dancer and really beautiful. The bullying was done by girls who were jealous. And I picked the wrong man because I didn't think I was good enough for anyone else and because I was lonely. I have studied psychology and have learnt that a lot of our behaviour may stem from parents and our surroundings as a child. After the break up with this guy I moved back home and finished my degree in psychology and I see things much more clearly. I see that I've learnt low self-esteem from my mother. She is always too nice to everyone and sacrifices her own needs for others. I now realise that I modelled her behaviour. It took an awful lot of people to tell me that I'm better than that guy and that I'm beautiful and a good dancer before I even imagined to believe what they were saying. It's funny how you can see things clearer from a distance and you see other people's problems but you don't see your own problems. I'd say many of the girls who are mean to you, are just jealous and I bet that the guys think you are beautiful and appreciate you. But I hope you don't make the same mistake as I did and find acceptance from the wrong person but accept yourself first. I have realised that the greatest love is love for yourself and nothing else matters. I'm saying this to you but I'm still only trying to learn loving myself and it is a rocky process. Also, my problem is that I try to find acceptance by being nice to everyone and trying to get everyone to like me and I give too much love for others but don't demand it back. I know I can do a lot of things and I know pretty much everyone likes me but I think I'm just ultimately trying to please everyone so that at least one of them would stay and love me. I don't know. It's really painful for me to think about these things and so I don't talk to anyone about them. But I was hoping that writing about it would help. I'm trying to change my behaviour patterns and try not to please everyone but try to please myself and take care of myself. I hope that by doing this, I will start to love myself and that I will find someone I really love and I'm hoping that it will make me stronger as a person. If you love dancing, then let go, and don't think about what others think of you. I'm sure they are dealing with same self-esteem problems as you, but they hide their own insecurities by criticising others.
aparnika

Salem, India

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#7
Apr 10, 2011
 
i want to get some advice on my behaviour so that i may be feeling confident in the better future to extend my living
hardon

Cookeville, TN

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#8
Apr 12, 2011
 
my dickie dint want to get hard anymore
A Guy

East Lansing, MI

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#9
Apr 24, 2011
 
Ok, I seriously need advice on what to do here because I am really getting desperate. I'm a college student but I have been feeling the same way for over 7 years now. Back when I was in middle and high school i was bullied a lot, mostly by the same group over and over again. It came to a point where this group actually beat me up over nothing, and I havent felt the same way since. through high school i was an outcast, and i felt like it was my fault, like the way i acted or looked, and I still feel the same way today. Now i feel i cant hold a decent conversation with anyone, asking a girl out, or even flirting with them because of my experiences in the past. Ive wanted to forget all of that and move on but I found out early on in my life that I couldnt, no matter what i did. now im feeling like i was a mistake, my confidence is so low as well as my self-esteem, and i feel emotionally distant. I dont know if this is because of depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome, or some other mental condition. i seriously need some answers, cause i dont want to keep feeling like this for the rest of my life. what are your thoughts?
NLi10Me

San Diego, CA

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#10
Apr 26, 2011
 
A Guy wrote:
Ok, I seriously need advice on what to do here because I am really getting desperate. I'm a college student but I have been feeling the same way for over 7 years now. Back when I was in middle and high school i was bullied a lot, mostly by the same group over and over again. It came to a point where this group actually beat me up over nothing, and I havent felt the same way since. through high school i was an outcast, and i felt like it was my fault, like the way i acted or looked, and I still feel the same way today. Now i feel i cant hold a decent conversation with anyone, asking a girl out, or even flirting with them because of my experiences in the past. Ive wanted to forget all of that and move on but I found out early on in my life that I couldnt, no matter what i did. now im feeling like i was a mistake, my confidence is so low as well as my self-esteem, and i feel emotionally distant. I dont know if this is because of depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome, or some other mental condition. i seriously need some answers, cause i dont want to keep feeling like this for the rest of my life. what are your thoughts?
Hey man,
In the heat of the moment, you're allowing your emotions to control you entirely. If you feel anxiety in every day situations, THAT'S OKAY. Life is complicated, and its not like there's a manual that tells you exactly how you're supposed to handle everything. Today's world tells us that there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything. If you adopt that mentality with respect to your every day social interactions... you'll go crazy. You don't have to scrutinize your own actions so much. The fact that you're in college tells me that you have some intelligence, and some interest in your future. That also suggests to me that you're reasonable enough to know right from wrong in a social context. You just need to learn to TRUST YOURSELF.
Of course, complicated behaviours/beliefs such as trusting yourself, objectively analyzing a situation in your conscious mind to come to a positive conclusion, and pausing your emotions to reflect... take A LOT of TIME and PRACTICE to learn. You're not going to be great at it right away. So CHILL OUT man :)
Just be kind to yourself, be patient as you learn, and always remember that YOU are the most important person in your life.
Person

East Lansing, MI

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#11
Apr 27, 2011
 
What do you call this? Ever since beginning school when I was little and now here in college I can't retain information easily. what could be wrong with me?
hoosier

Hanover Park, IL

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#12
Apr 29, 2011
 
i do not think that there is anything wrong with you. you very possibly have other gifts of the mind or talents for other things such as retention. do not worry so about this. everything will work out for you and you will feel normal.
asnans

Mumbai, India

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#13
Jun 7, 2011
 
welcom all who interested in psychology
Elena

Elmira, Canada

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#14
Jun 8, 2011
 
Hi,
I think I am being used by a "friend?" and it is driving me crazy. Every time she calls, she needs something. She pretends that we are friends just because she needs either information, or service (to give her a ride, etc.) and when she doesn't get what she wants she makes me feel bad that I am not a good friend, and that's what friends are for, etc. She NEVER do anything in return or when she doesn't like doing something she'll never do it.

I help her and when she achieves something, she thinks she is superior to me and say that I am jealous of her. So, now, I decided that I will not give her any information or will not help her in any way, but I am not quite sure how to refuse teaching her what I know, or say no to her excessive demands. If you can help me in that I would be very happy. Thanks.
studentdoc

Bagumbayan, Philippines

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#15
Jun 14, 2011
 
I have been feeling depressed for quite a while, that was since I've entered into medical school. I feel that I have been giving my best effort to learn and get good grades. However, there are moments when I fail. It's really hard for me to accept failure because I really haven't failed that much in my life. this lack of self-confidence and depression sometimes eats me up. I know I need to consult a psychiatrist, but honestly, I am frightened. frightened to know the truth about my clinical state because that would make me a real failure.
Sam75

United States

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#16
Jun 22, 2011
 
going mad wrote:
iím here because iím having social problems... i have no confidence and i always feel like people are judging me. i am so aware of everything i do and say and i feel stupid about everything that i say. this is really bad at work, i work in a very sociable bar. i must be showing my weaknesses as people donít really seem to like me very much and i over heard a girl saying that iím weird. i always get on well with males and am extremely anxious about being around females and as a result donít have many social interactions with them. the worst thing is that i love to dance and perform but when i am at work and all of the staff are dancing and loose, i freeze. even if someone starts dancing with me i freeze and walk away. i think this is because i take peoples pointless comments to heart and in the past people have commented and laughed at my dancing in clubs. when this happens now, i run to the bathroom without being noticed and i cry my eyes out. i just donít know what to do as i want to be like the other girls and i feel as if i am really going crazy.
Well I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds like you have to analyze just what the hell it is about women that make you nervous. The first few answers might be just scratching the surface, but you should def. investigate what it is, and where this stems from. Then put a higher value on you :-)
messed up

Glenroy, Australia

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#17
Jun 26, 2011
 
Lately I've been remembering things from my past, that explain a lot of my inner demons ... but they raise more questions than answers. I am 21 years old, I recently remembered having a reoccuring nightmare when i was 5 til i was 8 about, well it sounds silly, postman pat kidnapping me, putting me in the back of his van and raping me... This leads me to believe that something definitely happened to me as a child. I just wish I knew what it was and who was involved. I know delving into the past and trying to dig up suppressed memories can open up a can of snakes but I really need to know what the hell has happened to me... Whatever happened to me still effects me, my love life and my sex life to this day. Does anybody think I should keep trying to delve into my memories, or steer clear?
Mark Rowles

Weston, Australia

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#18
Jul 28, 2011
 
asnans wrote:
welcom all who interested in psychology
Hi I am a registered psychologist interested in joining this chat group.
Mark Rowles

Weston, Australia

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#19
Jul 28, 2011
 
Hi Adam,
I'm a registered psychologist interested in joining a chat room with other psychologists.
I'm new to this. Did your 10 December 2009 comment just turn into nothing, but people seeking help?
Adam wrote:
I apologize if I posted this in the wrong forum, but I help operate a psychology discussion chatroom on the largest IRC (Internet Relay Chat) network online and am looking for people to help expand our community. The Internet is a valuable tool and live chat is very productive! I am calling out to all psychologists, or students enrolled/interested in psychology to come join and share your thoughts with other like-minded psychonauts.
If you are interested in checking it out and helping us get a live community going (there is already a huge philosophy chatroom), you can chat online via:
widget.mibbit.com/...
Or, irc.undernet.org #psychology
Peace!
Hi Adam,
I'm a registered psychologist interested in joining a chat room with other psychologists.
I'm new to this. Did your 10 December 2009 comment just turn into nothing, but people seeking help?
Dominique

Johannesburg, South Africa

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#20
Oct 13, 2011
 
I need help Please How would one discuss the theoretical account of gender identity?

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