FOR MONDAY MAY 5 THIS HAS THE CHAT CODE: Chat with experts abou...

Audri Kilkuskie wrote:

If parents are responseable for their childern until they are 18 yrs.old than why not also charge the parents of the girls and 2 boys that beat up on the 16 yr. old? Maybe than people wound wake up and pay attenion.

Audri- when I was 4 years old some neighborhood boys beat my brother with a lead pipe. They broke his ribs and bruised him up pretty bad. I remember it because my father put us all in the car and drove over there. The boy's dad said that my brother probably deserved it because he was running his mouth or something. I remember it like yesterday, because I saw him go over the roof of our car. My father went to jail that night, but the boy's father went to the hospital. I don't condone violence and it can almost always be avoided. But if that were my daughter in that video, they would be booking me at Orient Road. That video made me cry and made a certain part of me just hurt so bad for that kid. In all honesty- I would not have reacted correctly if it would have been me. Sometimes parents are held responsible in ways they would never imagine. I'm sure that man never thought defending his boy would bring him that much harm either.

I have a 13yr old who has many friends. One of them told her recently that someone said something ugly about her on MYSPACE. My daughter is not affected by the comment and do you know why? Because she does not go on MYSPACE. She is a much happier person for it. When we stop feeding into the negative crap then it can no longer hurt us. Parental controls help but they don't only come in a box people Wake up!

Christy wrote:

<quoted text>
Please don't take this the wrong way-- Do you go to church? If you don't, you should find a church in your neighborhood that you feel comfortable with. Sometimes you have to fix how you feel about you first. That starts with loving yourself, don't give up. It's hard. I have gone through it every day of my life, I have been where you are. Religion does not make everything perfect, but if you can find your own peace spiritually, it makes the rest a lot easier. When you find God, he will help you with the rest. I still live down the street from the person who bullied me the worst- one day he spit in my hair on the way home from the bus. I didn't dare turn around I was so scared. I will never forget it. That was 25 years ago. Last year my dog got loose and of all people- he found it!!! He was very polite to me, it was awful-- I wanted to yell at him and say something mean, but I didn't. I think I realized that maybe he was going through something to. Kids who take part in those groups that laugh at you, it's usually because they are too scared to go against the crowd - because it might go against them. A pastor or deacon at your church could help you with coping emotionally- you don't need to keep that all in yourself.

omg ewwww he spit in ur hair my bro did that to me countless times

family in crisis wrote:

My youngest daughter started Symmes Elementary for Kindergarten. In her first few months of Kindergarten she was coming home with disciplinary marks in her daily planner. She has language development issues and was in pre-K the year before. This year was the first year on a regular bus with older children. I would wait for her to get off the bus everyday and one of the neighborhood girls came up to me and said that another girl on the bus was telling my daughter that she and the boy who sat with her were boyfriend and girlfriend. I sent a note to school with her explaining requesting her seat be changed. Then one day when the buses were running late bringing the children home from school. The older girl initiated a horrific act between my daughter and a little boy who was also in Kindergarten. One of the neighborhood girls ran up to me and told me the whole horrible incident that happened. When I questioned my daughter I found out that she had a little boy in her class that was “tickling her” inappropriately, in addition to this other boy on the bus. I was mortified. It made been physically ill. I called the vice principle at the school and even the area director. They did a huge cover up. Then they called Child Protective Services on me, lied to me about his (Mr. Engle) knowledge of it, how many adults were in the room.
When I pulled her out of school for a month, our phone calls were finally being returned after legal threats. They changed my little girl to another school in the district that is a capped school. Now in the new school, my daughter is questioned by the social worker without my permission all the time. If she misses school I have to jump through hoops. It has been a complete nightmare. I am devastated and exhausted. I don’t know what to do. We have already made arrangements to move out of the county at the end of this school year. Besides moving away, how do I make the school board quit bullying my family???? If I were to file a lawsuit, it would only take money away from the school ultimately hurting the children. But I don’t believe they should get away with this.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

It sounds like you got on the wrong side of somebody. I would use email to communicate with the school and the school board simultaneously. Then you have proof of written documentation. I have found over the years that email gets great response. Our system is broken but it is still there. Many of the websites and main email boxes are monitored by officials higher up the chain. So they work their way down. But you have to include everyone- you can even include local news stations. News stations can sometimes get involved, but the most important thing you will need is documentation. Write down everything, keep everything, know all your dates and incidents. Be prepared for them -

a 12 year old wrote:

<quoted text>omg ewwww he spit in ur hair my bro did that to me countless times

Yeah it was a big one too- I was humiliated. But, I got over it. It was hard until about 10th grade. I got a new school, a new best friend, and my mom started taking me to a counselor. There is a place called Family Service Association- we used to go to them. They are still around and they charge based on your income. They were really affordable and they helped us out a lot. It helped create a relationship with my parents that I never had. I grew up with an overprotective step dad and it was HARD. But, you have to know that you WILL get through it. Happiness is only what you make it-- you can't continue to think about the bad. If it is not happening right now- out of sight out of mind. Don't dwell it will drag you further down. Remember, you have to learn to love yourself. How else do you think I could look my worst enemy ever in the eye and ask for my dog back? The worst part is that my husband always jokes with me that the boy must have liked me and that's why he picked on me--- YUCK!!

Hello wrote:

I have a 13yr old who has many friends. One of them told her recently that someone said something ugly about her on MYSPACE. My daughter is not affected by the comment and do you know why? Because she does not go on MYSPACE. She is a much happier person for it. When we stop feeding into the negative crap then it can no longer hurt us. Parental controls help but they don't only come in a box people Wake up!

I don't allow my daughter to have a myspace either, but she managed to get one without me knowing. I agree with you, but kids are resourceful these days. My rule has always been that you are not allowed to use the internet unless I am right there in the same room. My new rule is- you are not allowed to use the internet unless I am on the couch next to you watching what you are doing. Thought I had it all covered---

I have a question, what about cyber bullies of step children against a step parent? I have dealt with this for well over 17 years. The mother has stood up to the daughter so they don't speak. The Father won't take a stand and the grand mother has always encouraged her actions. Even when the proof is handed to them. They won't speak about it, they hide. She is almost 25 now and it still goes on to this day. She has said some serious things. I personally take my stand and of course I am the evil stranger of the family and we have had a war going on now for about a year. I think this very well may be a next good subject to approach about bullies. So what about help on this subject. And each new member that joins the family becomes fair game for new torture.

Broken Hearted Step Mom wrote:

I have a question, what about cyber bullies of step children against a step parent? I have dealt with this for well over 17 years. The mother has stood up to the daughter so they don't speak. The Father won't take a stand and the grand mother has always encouraged her actions. Even when the proof is handed to them. They won't speak about it, they hide. She is almost 25 now and it still goes on to this day. She has said some serious things. I personally take my stand and of course I am the evil stranger of the family and we have had a war going on now for about a year. I think this very well may be a next good subject to approach about bullies. So what about help on this subject. And each new member that joins the family becomes fair game for new torture.

I have the same issues with family wars-- my sister went through problems with her step daughter for years (she raised her from 9). My niece is now 25 and she still acts the same way when she is around my sister. She will start arguments and screaming matches with her dad all because she feels like my sister wronged her growing up and she needs to admit it. She's missing something in her life and it is keeping her from being happy- so she feels the need to make everyone else unhappy too. Don't let her treat you that way-- that's why she's the way she is, because they have let her get away with it this long. And Honestly, the father needs to stand up to her-- it would probably stop if he put his foot down.

Thank you for your post,
That's the thing. I do not let her get away with it. I can point out every thing that she tries to twist around and she can only come up with high school swearing and name calling. And some how I am a master brain washer? That was always funny to me. The one huge thing is that she keeps our 4 1/2 year old grandson from seeing us and is teaching him that we say bad things. We used to take him every weekend to Disney. His first experience with Mickey Mouse was with us, and Disney at Christmas. His first parade, the wonder on his face, hugging us because he was so happy. It is so sad as he is a very smart kid. But they have all made it clear that I am not the "real" grandmother, which totally hurt and I will never forget. But the so called "real" grandmother was never around. I do know why she is angry but no one will stand up as I said not matter how bad it gets and what she emails. And no matter how evil she is, her grandmother tells her that she is a Princess! Plus there could be a story on big time mooching. When my husband has tried to put his foot down, his OWN MOTHER would tell her and her younger sister that they were orphans and that only she loved them and they never had to listen to him or me. To this mother in law of mine, she always said that winning the kids was a contest and she was going to win. I just hope that she is enjoying what she created as I know that she has been on the anger side of her granddaughter but she still enabled it 100%. It is so emarrassing to even type this. But it just never ends.
Again, THANK YOU

Speak Out Now Ltd
40 Bushy Mead
Widley
Waterlooville
PO7 5DY
02392 384826
SCHOOLS / COLLEGES EDITION
We have spoken with one of your colleagues briefly explaining that we may be able to help with the Schools Bullying problem.
We would like to introduce to you Speak Out Now which is an anti bullying and harassment system especially designed for Schools or Colleges.to give you a unique, innovative and affordable way to deal with the problems
It's the brainchild of five parents from quite different backgrounds one of whom is a University Professor Charlotte Rayner, a Professor of Human Resource Management at Portsmouth Business School. She has been involved in research into bullying at work and in schools since the mid 1990's. The other parents involved are
a former Police Officer (with 30 years service behind him) two are from the retail business, and the other from the world of IT.
Every day we hear or read the same news “children being bullied�“Schools getting sued� Have the teachers got the right tools or systems to process or monitor the complaints? Have the children got the confidence to report face to face? This program was designed for children to give them a voice when at their lowest, one suicide is one too many in our eyes.The system costs only $2 per Child, not a lot for a child’s happiness, peace of mind and possibly their life. The effects of constant bullying has been known to remain with the victim for many years, this could possibly be prevented if caught early enough using Speak Out Now. There are three parts to the system. The first is administration, this enables you to personalise the system to your own needs. The second is for your pupils and members of staff to each have their own password which they can login where ever they feel comfortable and report their incident with ease. The third is management; you can allocate as many people you think necessary to receive the reports and deal with them efficiently. Assigned Local Government departments can monitor the data to spend the money where they consider it most needed: on Racism, Physical abuse, Homophobia, Religious conflicts, Drug related problems etc. and which schools/colleges have the biggest problems, thus a saving of time and money.
The system has its own unique identity so no other school / college can view your data. Once a report has been made it can never be deleted, ensuring that every case is dealt with, it can only be closed when the reporter is satisfied. If a serious report has been made it will be automatically flagged up.
. We are all aware that court cases are expensive, with Speak Out Now you can protect yourself against litigation with the data you have at your disposal proving how you have dealt with each case and exactly how long it has been going on for. Each pupil can control how they want their incident(s) to be dealt with, whether they want to talk about it face to face, over the telephone, through the system or if they would just like someone to keep an eye on it.
If you would like more details you can download a brochure from our website www.speakoutnow.co.uk The system offers much more than can be detailed in letter form therefore we would be happy to assist in any way possible either by ‘phone, email or we can discuss giving an on line demonstration. We are here to help in anyway we can, enabling you to help the victims of bullying.
Kind Regards
Speak Out Now

In middle school, my daughter was harassed. School officials were overwhelmed by the # of students. The school counselor was busy recruiting for the magnet program. The girls bathrooms were not cleaned regularly (janitorial personnel were being shared w/ a school next door). All of this contributed to her being home schooled by telephone. I understand it's not too different now. Ripe environment for school bullies.

My daughter was being bullied and harrased by a young man that attended the same school as her and lives in our neighborhood. He even threatened her life. The school kept warning him,but not much was done. Until one day at a neighborhood recreational center the young man came up and tried to hug her. She told him "No Dont touch me", which made him mad. He grabbed her and slammed her into the concrete wall and metal door of the rec center. She fought back to get him off of her. It was'nt until a lawn care working in the park yelled, "Let Her Go" that he stopped. The police showed up and arrested my daughter. Now I am having to pay for an attorney to clear my daughther," who is an Honor student" to have her record cleared. The young man is a known gang member and drug dealer as well as a trouble maker, and he gets away with it. I am angry! I just think that it is very sad that our kids now a days get punished for protecting themselves. When I was a kid if a bully bothered you, you told as many adults as you could and if that did not work you fought back and 9 times out of 10 that bully stopped messing with you. But what recourse do the kids have now a days have if they can't fight back. The bully's are getting away and the good kids are being punished.

Hello, I am glad everyone is speaking up. Bullies need to be held accountable. I am seeking an attorney due to two years of poor administration at my sons school. So many incidents where faculty admitted they knew what was going on. Meanwhile my son was continually bullied. He no longer has faith in the school. He cannot concentrate in school because of threats he is watching his back constantly. High School is overwhelming enough. I think it's too late for my son to recoop. His self-esteem is at an all time low. I will not let him drop out. I have to find an alternative way to get his diploma. He has been a victim of violence at school by a teacher, as well asa students. I have exhausted my resources and need some guidance from an attorney. I live in Hernando County. Someone needs to step up to the plate for this child. I am worried about his state of mind. His future is important. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Need help to get my son back on board. Jane

teacher 101 wrote:

I am a middle school teacher in pinellas county and see way too much bullying that just goes unanswered by parents, other teachers, administrattors, and yes higher up officials too
so how do you actually stop the bullying??3

What have you done to correct the problem?

bullied wrote:

hello,iam a mother of 2 my whole family is being bullied by our next door neighbors and they are having their children getting involved,they have put sexual signs up,cuss words iam fighting forclosure they put signs up in the front yard stating,times running out,tick tock,real men work,they take pictures of all of us anytime we are out back they stand on the property line and stare,today we caught the father going into the neighbors yard to look into our yard we live in pasco that might be enough said ......help......

Start taking pictures of them, then go file charges, if you can

Adults are the worse bullies of all. I have been around enough of them. My ex-husband was one of the worst. Until I found it in myself to stand up to him,I was physically or emotionally abused each day. Emotional abuse is the absolute worst of all, because you hear it often enough the bad things are a lot easier to believe than the good. Parents and teachers should take a look at themselves and what the kids are hearing and seeing.

we moved back to tampa in january my son has been bullied ever since he is a honor roll student he was raised not to fight and to behave the princaipal says the these kids comefrom the projects and they play rough so my son needs to toughen up now how that for running a school this is second graders and she cannot handle them but we cant do anything until someone gets hurt or killed when one of them find a gun or drugs and bring them to school i guess what can u do if the principal wont even do anything about this

I feel for all of you who have children being bullied in school. :( Your hands are tied and the schools don't do enough to eliminate or even curb bullying. Bullying is an out of control in America today. And now virtual bullying is big too.