Get out of the trap of Falun Gong
I'm Li Fangli, 40 years old, and work at Weinan Bridge Division of China Railway First Group Co., Ltd. I started to practice Falun Gong in April 1998 and had been hopelessly involved in the destructive community of cult since then, accepting unconditionally all the theories advocated by Li Hongzhi. Under the control of heretical ideas, I had done a lot of ridiculous things and great damages to myself and to my family. Looking back to what happened at that time I'm still emotional and have to spit out these tense feelings.
When the shocking Zhongnanhai Incident broke out on April 25, 1999, I read only a little of "scriptures" and therefore hardly got what was really happening. On July 22, Chinese government banned Falun Gong; but watching TV programs about how practitioners died, got injured, and were disabled because of practicing Falun Gong, I felt disgruntled and rebellious. I told whoever I met that what they said on TV were rumors and slander, was sheer propaganda by government; at the same time, I met other fellow practitioners to discuss the latest "scriptures". When I was doing all these, I became increasingly angry at the government. In 2000, Li Hongzhi pointed out clearly in his Towards Consummation: "Disciples are waiting to achieve the consummation, and I can wait no more. Step out against the pressure so as to prove to the world that the disciples of Fa are great. The disciples facing up to the comprehensive and severe tests would finally establish the solid foundation of Dafa in the world and the concrete representation of Dafa in the man's world; while at the same time they would also achieve consummation by finding the greatest position for themselves. Everyone, you'll get your place in future by choice." At reading it, I knew it was time for me to step out to "protect Fa"; otherwise, I would fail in the test and would never achieve consummation. But I was delayed due to various reasons. Then I heard that lots of practitioners gathered at Tian'anmen Square after October 1 and I noticed this sentence in the new "scripture": "those hiding in home can only get False Enlightenment no matter how hard they have tried." I couldn't sit at home doing nothing at all and finally left home for Beijing.
I was punished for openly defying the government and for interfering with normal social orders; I pretended to be obedient under the pressure but didn't regret it at all deep in my heart. I went to Beijing two more times in 2001 and 2004 to "protect Fa".
Being spiritually controlled by Li Hongzhi and brainwashed by his scriptures, I went to Beijing with the task of "protecting Fa" for three times. Every time, I left home without telling my family; and every time I did it, it was such a blow to them. After I left for Beijing, my parents, my husband, and my daughter were so worried. My mother cried a lot out of concerns, but I thought that I was doing this to "cultivate away fame, material interest, and emotion", to "let go of the last attachments of ordinary beings", to meet the requirements of Li Hongzhi, and to "go up to higher level and achieve consummation."
My running away from home for several times hurt my husband in particular and I was soon realized that I should not do this to him any more. So I made up my mind to stop. But I was still obsessed with cultivation and always quarreled with him about studying Fa and practicing Falun Gong. At realizing that I was hopeless, my husband started to drink a lot and came back home very late. As for me, I chose to ignore him and kept doing what I wanted to do. Because of this, our love gradually faded away and we couldn't find a topic even when we really manage to sit together.