White Trash Wedding Part Deux

Ok Nascar fans, silly season has arrived! The Chase is more boring than sitting on the 405 on Friday afternoon, and we have the off-season to get through. So it’s time for some fun. Please no trolling or politics. This is purely for laughs. PRF, you know what to do!

Once again Smoke has provided us with a romance to rival Romeo and Juliet, but the poor boy needs some help. It’s hard work keeping a 23 year-old child happy, especially when the engine she worked so hard to get doesn’t have the endurance it once had. Unfortunately it blew up prematurely, as often happens when engines get too much age on them and have been over-used.

Now even though he has sent her to the coach to do his laundry, he is having doubts about whether or not he can keep it, uh… this romance up. And Smokette is fuming. She was promised a top 5 finish in the WoO finals, which would have led to a ride with the big boys next year. All her plans have gone up in... smoke.

Smokette: I just caint understand it Tony! Ya said I’d be in the finals. Why ya even said I could make it in victory lane! And just think how amazin that woulda been – kissing ya right there in front of all them people!

Smoke: Come on, you know I don’t like all that affectionate crap in public…

Smokette: But ya kissed T…

Smoke: Shut up Jessica

Smokette: But I did eveythang you wanted… I even did that special thang them girls on pit road said you like…

Smoke (smiling): Oh yeah…

Smokette: An I went an painted Smokette on my little car so’d you’d be all proud of me!

Smoke: Yea, about that…

Smokette: Now what am I sposed to do? Daddy says if I don’t get a new engine, I caint keep racin! Tell me Tony! Tell me what I gotta do to get it! You know I can make ya happy – I can tell because ya always yells out “Whose your daddy! Whose your daddy!” when I’m down there…

Smoke: Um, no… I was saying “Hoosier baddie…”

Smokette (pulling out the DD’s for emphasis): Just tell me what big daddy wants…

Smoke: Ok, but no more comments about the gray hair…

Smokette (smiling to herself): Anything you want…

Smoke: And no more comments about the beer belly…

Smokette: But I like the beer belly! Why, my daddy…

Smoke: Shut up Jessica, now go get me a Schlitz.

As Smokette works on getting another engine, she’s thinking to herself:“Hmmm… I wonder if Kasey’s in his coach right now. I just love them blue eyes – they’s as blue as mine! An I bet he’s gotta REAL nice engine…”

ROFLMAO!!!! Please continue with the story!

JZ-Tony I's really like dat song "Smoke on da whater", why is it da says you is on da whater? I's never sees you on da whater. Whats cha doing on dat whater?

Tony-Jess they aren't singing about me. The song has been around a very long time.

JZ-How long is a long time? Six ur seven years? Now dat is a long time.

Tony-Jess stop talking.

Tony is thinking to himself, Why is it the young, hot, easy ones are so hard to train?

Excellent! We just need PRF now. I can't wait until Smokette's cousins get involved.

oh my and what will one eyed sue think of all this for she is Tony's true love

She needs to be less country in her speech and dumber.

You know Jessica Simpson!!!

Ruttrosmokesmojo wrote:

oh my and what will one eyed sue think of all this for she is Tony's true love

One eyed Billie Sue will make her return at the right moment. She knows that he only has eye for her.

JZ Tony, baby. What's in this can? Chefboy are DEE? It looks like ravioli, but I've not heard of DEE's. How do you make DEE's

TS Jess, it's not a can of DEE's, that's the name of the company. Sheesh

JZ Big Tony, people are saying I'm a jinx like that Simpson chick when she dated that Tony Romeo. I'm not that bad, am I?

TS No baby. I just have bad engines. Someone must be switching my engines with those bad ones Jr used to have at DEI. You're no jinx. You're my baby girl.

JZ Thanks Big Tony. My daddy said if I stick around you long enough, I can get in Nascar.

TS Jess baby. You don't need to worry about being IN Nascar as long as I can be IN you.

JZ OH OH The microwave exploded. What I do wrong.

TS UH, didn't anyone tell you that you can't put tin cans in the microwave? What the he LL am I going to eat now?

JZ One guess, baby !!!

Darcie! LMAO

OMG! Ive been away toooo long

“Oh…..! What am I going to do, Tony?” Jessica wailed.“I don’t have a sponsor for next year. I’ve asked Playtex Bras, Summer’s Eve and Nuva Ring, and they all said that the economy is just too bad! I’m as nervous as a chocolate prairie dog in a pepper patch! I’m as depressed as a deep fried chipmunk in a coal mine! I’m as confused as a penguin in a drawer full of panties! I’m as …”
“Now, now, BooBoo—calm down”, Tony said reassuringly as he watched Jessica iron and fold his underwear.“There IS a solution to this problem. Why, I just happen to have a sponsorship right here!” Tony said with a grin on his face.
Jessica looked up from her ironing and gave Tony a hopeful smile.
“You DO? Where, Tony, WHERE? Where is a sponsorship for me?”
Tony leaned back in his chair and smirked as he started to undo his belt.
“It’s in my pants, darlin’! Come and get it! The‘Smokestack’ will sponsor you!”
“Is it a BIG sponsor?” Jessica said excitedly as she placed Tony’s freshly ironed tighty whities in a basket.
“The BIGGEST, baby doll—the biggest ‘sponsor’ a girl could possibly want!”
Jessica walked over to where Tony was sitting and looked him in his eyes.
“I’ll do ANYTHING for a sponsor, Tony...ANYTHING!” Jessica said in a voice verging on begging.
“That’s what I thought, sweetheart...that’s what I thought,” Tony murmured as he finished unfastening his pants.“Well, you better get to work. Sponsors need to be pleased. Here---let’s see what kind of
‘pole position’ you can come up with...”

http://i362.photobucket.com/albums/oo63/kkahn...

"Jealous? No...I'm not jealous at all! I am waaaayyyy prettier then this so called 'Smokette' and needless to say I'm a MUCH better driver! He'll come back to me--he ALWAYS does!"

You have got to work this in to the story line..PLEASE

http://www.youtube.com/watch...

Homer1 wrote:

You have got to work this in to the story line..PLEASE
http://www.youtube.com/watch...

OMG!!! That is hysterical!

Susie wrote:

<quoted text>
OMG!!! That is hysterical!

I am sure Tony is very proud! lol

JZ Tony, I just found your cell phone in your jeans that I just washed and there's a lot of IM's from some chick in Texas. She kinda looks like me, but I'm a little pissed that you're talking to another girl.

TS Don't worry baby. She means nothing to me. She's just a fan who loves the Smokestack.

JZ But Tony, I thought the Smokestack was all mine !!! I thought you said you'd be faithful to me. You're a pig !!!

TS Baby, I can't live with just one woman. I need all the pootie I can find. You knew that when you signed on with my team. Remember, there's no "I" in team.

JZ I wash your clothes, get out all the skid marks from your undies. I even shaved my name in your back hair and this is what I get in return? You suck !!!

TS Calm down. No need to get pissy with me. I'm a MAN and I can do what I want. If you don't like it, leave. I can always get one of those bimbos from Topix to handle the Smokestack. The chicks dig Big Tony.

Daddy Z You messin with my kid? I done tol you, never break my baby's heart. See what I got here? This here broken bottle of Jack Daniels is gonna mess up that purty face, and if you ain't careful, it's gonna cut the Smokestack.

JZ Oh Daddy thank you for puttin Tony back in line. He's my man and my boss and I need him to get in Nascar.

Daddy Z You better not be messin with any chick from that U tube place. She's trash, compared to my darlin' Jessica. No way you gonna mess with trailer trash like her. Jess is the best you gonna find, dirt boy.

TS OK, OK, don't worry big Daddy. I'll treat your baby just as good as I treat all my ladies.

Daddy Z Damn straight. You better treat her like all your former ladies, or this Jack bottle will find it's way upside your head---both of them.

Darcie wrote:

JZ Tony, I just found your cell phone in your jeans that I just washed and there's a lot of IM's from some chick in Texas. She kinda looks like me, but I'm a little pissed that you're talking to another girl.
TS Don't worry baby. She means nothing to me. She's just a fan who loves the Smokestack.
JZ But Tony, I thought the Smokestack was all mine !!! I thought you said you'd be faithful to me. You're a pig !!!
TS Baby, I can't live with just one woman. I need all the pootie I can find. You knew that when you signed on with my team. Remember, there's no "I" in team.
JZ I wash your clothes, get out all the skid marks from your undies. I even shaved my name in your back hair and this is what I get in return? You suck !!!
TS Calm down. No need to get pissy with me. I'm a MAN and I can do what I want. If you don't like it, leave. I can always get one of those bimbos from Topix to handle the Smokestack. The chicks dig Big Tony.
Daddy Z You messin with my kid? I done tol you, never break my baby's heart. See what I got here? This here broken bottle of Jack Daniels is gonna mess up that purty face, and if you ain't careful, it's gonna cut the Smokestack.
JZ Oh Daddy thank you for puttin Tony back in line. He's my man and my boss and I need him to get in Nascar.
Daddy Z You better not be messin with any chick from that U tube place. She's trash, compared to my darlin' Jessica. No way you gonna mess with trailer trash like her. Jess is the best you gonna find, dirt boy.
TS OK, OK, don't worry big Daddy. I'll treat your baby just as good as I treat all my ladies.
Daddy Z Damn straight. You better treat her like all your former ladies, or this Jack bottle will find it's way upside your head---both of them.

Wonder if Daddy Z has ever talked to Daddy Wallace?

If Tony got one tenth of the amount of sex he gets in these posts, he would be able to climb into his car lol!

Homer1 wrote:

You have got to work this in to the story line..PLEASE
http://www.youtube.com/watch...

I'm FB friends with her. Go figure!!