Molloy: Americans still love sex, but fewer women actually enjoy it

This is in part because women are more sophisticated about sex, are less ashamed to read about it and educate themselves. Men are having trouble keeping up with a revolution of rising female expectations. Women are more comfortable with reading and thinking about health, medicine, and psychology.

40 years ago, one quarter of adult married women were anorgasmic, one quarter orgasmed regularly, and one half orgasmed erratically. If women are happier now than they were then, it is entirely due to their efforts.

The only reliable way for a woman to orgasm regularly is for her to become well acquainted with her body via masturbation after she finishes high school. She then must include masturbation every time she has vaginal intercourse.

Always use lube with condoms, and many couples should use lube even without condoms. Men have to learn to slow down and be gentler. Almost all women can greatly benefit from 15-30 minutes of gentle foreplay. Initial penetration has to be slow and shallow, and very gradually goes deeper. Keep it slow and gentle until it is obvious that she is nearing climax. Speed up a it, but don't go too deep. She should climax at least once before you do. It is best if he climaxes while she does, or a bit later. Cuddle for 5-15 minutes afterwards, this is afterplay and many women value it very highly.

In my opinion, it is easier for a man to deliver high quality sex if his penis has all the moving parts it was born with. This is a major reason why I disagree with routine infant circumcision as practiced in the USA.

I'm one of the small percent that is multi-orgasmic and have never faked one in my life. I didn't even know women did this until recent years.

I wouldn't put all of the blame on men. If a woman lays there making noises giving the guy the signal what he's doing it great then all he can do is repeat that effort every time thinking she's enjoying it.

Women have to let men know what works. They can't read minds. You have to be nice about it and don't criticize, just make suggestions when you aren't in the middle of love making. If talking about it makes you uncomfortable write it down.

I have never had sex with a multi-orgasmic woman, but I hope I will meet one someday. The idea sounds so erotic, although I dont know what it really means for now. So if Pamela would like to enlighten me I love to her from her.
If a woman is multiorgasmic does it mean she has several orgasms one after another in one long sex session or she can have another one after just having an orgasm a short time before (~ 15 min before???). Anyhow, I look forward to your explanation, it could be way different than what I imagine it is. Thanks

well the guys i have had sex with, are plain. a good size, but all do the saaaame stuff. Doggy, mission, cowboy. Thats about it. So it has to do with guys doing more

James wrote:

I have never had sex with a multi-orgasmic woman, but I hope I will meet one someday. The idea sounds so erotic, although I dont know what it really means for now. So if Pamela would like to enlighten me I love to her from her.
If a woman is multiorgasmic does it mean she has several orgasms one after another in one long sex session or she can have another one after just having an orgasm a short time before (~ 15 min before???). Anyhow, I look forward to your explanation, it could be way different than what I imagine it is. Thanks

It just means more than one. Some only have one and other don't have any so having more than one seems to be a unique thing.

Alyssa C wrote:

well the guys i have had sex with, are plain. a good size, but all do the saaaame stuff. Doggy, mission, cowboy. Thats about it. So it has to do with guys doing more

Not necessarily. I personally love missionary.

Pamela in red wrote:

<quoted text>
Not necessarily. I personally love missionary.

I agree with you.

Pamela in red wrote:

I'm one of the small percent that is multi-orgasmic and have never faked one in my life. I didn't even know women did this until recent years.

Many men don't know how to give foreplay, and younger men are too impatient. Women are never told to combine vaginal and masturbation. In my very limited experience, internet porn is a very bad teacher of young men on how to do vaginal gently and passionately.

Pamela in red wrote:

If a woman lays there making noises giving the guy the signal what he's doing is great, then all he can do is repeat that effort every time thinking she's enjoying it.

Your point is very well taken. Faking it amounts to Pavlovian reenforcement of what doesn't work.

Missionary simply means she can lie back and relax. She can daydream easily. She can very easily combine vaginal with masturbation, which I contend is the royal road to orgasm. Their chests come in contact, and they can kiss briefly while doing it; both enhance intimacy. The only drawback is that she doesn't set the pace and depth. We guys need to learn a lot more about starting slow and shallow and building up very gradually. In my college days, I feared that a lot of what passed for intercourse was little more than him date raping her. When I would wax sarcastic about that in the presence of women, no one ever called me on it. That a lot of young women put up with a lot of bad sex is evidence that young women can be very horny.

If a woman gives me the great privilege of inviting me into her bedroom and shedding her clothes, I thereby acquire the solemn responsibility of doing whatever it takes to give her pleasure. Starting with SLOWING DOWN.

Pamela in red wrote:

<quoted text>
Not necessarily. I personally love missionary.

mission is alright, but i prefer something romantic, yet exhilerating. Like having it done from doggy and then pulling me up by my chest and then kissing him when hes behind me. I dont know what its called, but its better than normal doggy. And true about mission. But guys just do that too often u know?

because most american women are morbidly obese with huge gaping vaginas the size of a hallway cant blame the guys if their women are huge

Seymour wrote:

<quoted text>
Many men don't know how to give foreplay, and younger men are too impatient. Women are never told to combine vaginal and masturbation. In my very limited experience, internet porn is a very bad teacher of young men on how to do vaginal gently and passionately.
<quoted text>
Your point is very well taken. Faking it amounts to Pavlovian reenforcement of what doesn't work.

I have had the good luck of be with caring men and never had this problem.

That's how I see it. Women complain about men not doing it right and doing the same thing over and over but if they are faking orgasms that is probably why.

Seymour wrote:

Missionary simply means she can lie back and relax. She can daydream easily. She can very easily combine vaginal with masturbation, which I contend is the royal road to orgasm. Their chests come in contact, and they can kiss briefly while doing it; both enhance intimacy. The only drawback is that she doesn't set the pace and depth. We guys need to learn a lot more about starting slow and shallow and building up very gradually. In my college days, I feared that a lot of what passed for intercourse was little more than him date raping her. When I would wax sarcastic about that in the presence of women, no one ever called me on it. That a lot of young women put up with a lot of bad sex is evidence that young women can be very horny.
If a woman gives me the great privilege of inviting me into her bedroom and shedding her clothes, I thereby acquire the solemn responsibility of doing whatever it takes to give her pleasure. Starting with SLOWING DOWN.

I've never had to combine masturbation with sex but maybe it helps some women.

For me the reason I like missionary is because there is more clitoral stimulation in that position. Doggy does not touch the clitoris at all and in my opinion does more for a man than it does a woman. If I have to masturbate or get out my vibrator I might as well be solo.

All positions are great too. Nice to switch off to front, back, sideways, anyway possible.

Pamela in red wrote:

<quoted text>
I've never had to combine masturbation with sex but maybe it helps some women.

It is the little secret, never mentioned in sex ed or marriage manuals, that would eliminate frigidity from the human vocabulary. It is the reason why women should explore themselves via masturbation before attempting partner sex. I bet male insecurity is the reason why this little secret is not better known.

When I learned about childbirth, I thought "it's obvious why that hurts like hell." When I read that the vagina is not especially sensitive except at the opening, I thought "Mother Nature got that right, otherwise the pain of parturition would be even worse." When I read that the seat of woman pleasure was a small bud, analogous to the penis but placed on top of the vulva, I thought "Kudos to Mohter Nature for recycling a good design and for making masturbation easy. Trouble is, I see no connection between vaginal intercourse and this pleasure button." So when my wife told me that she had to masturbate in order to climax during intercourse, I was not surprised.

I much prefer that there exist a reliable path to female orgasm, even if it is the women who holds the key to that path, than no such path at all. I argue that a woman who knows how to take charge of her orgasm is far less likely to become a prim angry feminist. Incidentally, I used to read in the 70s and 80s about how radical feminists would harden their jaws when sex positive feminists would praise masturbation. The radicals would demand a change of subject.

seymour wrote:

<quoted text>
It is the little secret, never mentioned in sex ed or marriage manuals, that would eliminate frigidity from the human vocabulary. It is the reason why women should explore themselves via masturbation before attempting partner sex. I bet male insecurity is the reason why this little secret is not better known.
When I learned about childbirth, I thought "it's obvious why that hurts like hell." When I read that the vagina is not especially sensitive except at the opening, I thought "Mother Nature got that right, otherwise the pain of parturition would be even worse." When I read that the seat of woman pleasure was a small bud, analogous to the penis but placed on top of the vulva, I thought "Kudos to Mohter Nature for recycling a good design and for making masturbation easy. Trouble is, I see no connection between vaginal intercourse and this pleasure button." So when my wife told me that she had to masturbate in order to climax during intercourse, I was not surprised.
I much prefer that there exist a reliable path to female orgasm, even if it is the women who holds the key to that path, than no such path at all. I argue that a woman who knows how to take charge of her orgasm is far less likely to become a prim angry feminist. Incidentally, I used to read in the 70s and 80s about how radical feminists would harden their jaws when sex positive feminists would praise masturbation. The radicals would demand a change of subject.

Some of us can orgasm with sex. I have heard that some can't and I can see why they might need a little help.

I've never been a feminist so I can't relate.

Some positions stimulate the clitoris and some do not.