MLB Catcher Vows to Play in Venezuela, Despite Kidnapping

Ozzie Guillen wrote:

Dis neber happen when I go home in Venezuela. Nobady dere gotta balls to kidnapped Ozzie Guillen.
I more safe in Venezuela den in da United States.

Lets Play Ball wrote:

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AAHaahaaHaa ... Itss a terrible ebent. I no should laff.
But, it neber happen to ju cause what one gonna do wiff ju once dey take ju? Ju eat anna drink dem outta house, home anna hearth.
An don eben make a cup a coffee, ju juseless jicalo !!!!
AHaahaaHaa ! Juseless !!!
Bye Ozzsee !

Ozzie Guillen wrote:

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Ju sumadabich! Ju gonna start wiff me again? Ju tryin to ruin my Thanksgivinit. Juss so ju knowit mr smartguy.. Nobady mess wiff me in Venezuela because my good frien is name Hugo Chavez. Ju eber hear of him??

Judged:

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Lets Play Ball wrote:

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Again? I neber finished wiff ju! EHeeHeeE!
Did I eber hear of Hugo Chavez???
Hees a two timin pill poppin bed hopin wife swapin bastar.
O Jes, he try to buy me, spensive tings. But I tole dat dirty low down I break heess skeeny neck like a scrawny shicken!
And den dangel heem upside down in da market place wiffa da rest of da turkeys!!
So, what I care if Hugo Chavez jur fren, eh?
I do however care dat ju hab a Happy Thanksgibing!
Ju juss better watcsh jur giblets, mister !!!
Happy Thanksgibing!

Ozzie Guillen wrote:

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Ju dirty sumadabich. Ju say bad thins about my frien Hugo?
Do ju know how mush money he donate to people inna Junite Estates? Do ju know how mush gasoline he give away? Do ju know dat Hugo da reasin people go to Citgo an get cheap gas?
Ju don gotta huevos to say nathin in Hugo's face. Ju notta man. I bet ju really Kenny Williams tryin to pist me off.