Sexual attraction to my massage therapist

I'm a female who is very attracted to my male message therapist. The information that I have found regarding this subject on the internet seems to indicate that this is somehow very inappropriate and unethical, though I never say anything to him about it to him or cross any boundaries(though I would not object if he did).
Do message therapists ever have relationships with their clients if their client goes to another MT and effectively ends the MT/client relationship? One adult being attracted to another adult does not seem inappropriate to me.

Jalee0408,

sounds like you've already found the solution to your problem. Once you end the MT/Client relationship, I guess you would then have to find out if he is at all interested in a more traditional relationship.

I would say that you need to examine the nature of your attraction. This kind of attraction is common because you are in a vulnerable position (you are nude, even if under a drape) and he is massaging you and making you feel good!!! If he is a legitimate LMT and he is trustworthy and isn't prone to "slips" or making sexual remarks then this can make things even harder for you. In short you have a man whom you trust seeing as well as massaging your nude or even semi-draped body, he is being a complete gentleman and most of all he is treating you with dignity and respect. Sounds like what most women want in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with that. It sounds like he is a real professional like he should be. The problem is you are attracted to him and that isn't wrong. This attraction is simply complicated by the fact that the relationship is a therapist/client one as opposed to a personal one and you are not sure how to deal with the attraction.

Going back to my original statement, unless you have been going to him for a long time and really know a lot about him personally and he you then I would be inclined to think that your attraction is more physical/sexual than anything else.

Unless he says something to you first then the ball is in your court.I am affraid that rather you break the relationship and make your feelings known or tell him while you are still going to him, there is a good chance you will not be able to go back to him professionally.

Hope that helps.

That was great information Tantric Guy. I guess I'll have to weigh the pros and cons: do I want to keep him as my MT or risk losing that relationship for the possibility of something else?

If I did hit on him, there is the chance that he might not understand me anyway as his English is difficult to understand with a very heavy Russian accent. Perhaps foreign MTs are not as politically correct as American MTs.

Based only on what you have said here, it sounds more like you are more physically attracted to him than emotionally. Are there any signs that he is interested in you sexually or otherwise?

Don't get me wrong, It think relationships are wonderful but unless there is something of substance, a real spiritual connection then the spark will disapear quickly, thus the whole Tantric theory.

I cannot determine what is wrong with physical attraction anyway.
Are you part of the right wing tantric sex police?

Jalee, Tis a dilema. Guess you should figure out what is going on here. Remember, you,re paying him to touch you and make you feel good. I think they become pretty detached from it emotionally and physically. Probably a lot more going on in your head than his. It's his job to make you feel good and want to come back. Good luck.

Jalee

Please don't get me wrong, I am in no way implying that there is anything wrong with physical attraction. If all you want is a sexual relationship then thats fine. But, if you are looking for more then there has to be more. If you are looking for more than just sex you have not said anything about him showing an interest in you or what you like about him personality wise.

Physical attraction is great and is vital to a relationship. I am not the sex police nor am I condeming you for being physically attracted to him. My assumption is that you are looking for more than just sex.

jalee0408...you should just drop a couple of hints that you are interested.
You would be two consenting adults...no big deal.
Besides, if you end up boyfriend and girlfriend...just think of all the benefits!
A

ok who ahs judged me and why am I clueless? Ok to judge and disagree. Just give me some explanation.

more clarification wrote:

ok who ahs judged me and why am I clueless? Ok to judge and disagree. Just give me some explanation.

Because you are an idiot. Why would "they" become emotionally detached? Have you ever given a massage and detached yourself from the client? It doesn't work. Get a clue before you post stupid stuff like this.

Nobody,
You're saying that masaage therapist become emotionally attached to their clients? Jalee's looking for some kind of physical and romantic relationship with her therapist. Against the ethics of therapists.

I think "Nobody" is referring to the connection that is made between therapist and client when the therapist is palpating and assessing the muscles for joint play, unusual rigidity, adhesions etc. This connection has nothing to do with romantic or erotic fantasies and is the hallmark of the true healer. A client who feels relief for the first time in months may develop a crush on the therapist, but any ethical therapist knows how to continue the professional relationship without insulting or embarrassing the client.

jalee0408 wrote:

I'm a female who is very attracted to my male message therapist. The information that I have found regarding this subject on the internet seems to indicate that this is somehow very inappropriate and unethical, though I never say anything to him about it to him or cross any boundaries(though I would not object if he did).
Do message therapists ever have relationships with their clients if their client goes to another MT and effectively ends the MT/client relationship? One adult being attracted to another adult does not seem inappropriate to me.

can u call me in five three doubleseven two six three

LMT wrote:

I think "Nobody" is referring to the connection that is made between therapist and client when the therapist is palpating and assessing the muscles for joint play, unusual rigidity, adhesions etc. This connection has nothing to do with romantic or erotic fantasies and is the hallmark of the true healer. A client who feels relief for the first time in months may develop a crush on the therapist, but any ethical therapist knows how to continue the professional relationship without insulting or embarrassing the client.

Well said.

Jalee, Just wondering what conclusion you came to with your masseuer? Did you hit on him or leave it strictly a business relationship?

They annoyed me the last time I visited. The treatment which is two hours long involves: hot tub, massage, sauna, shower, massage, sauna and then shower(which leaves you feeling out of it, dehydrated and very relaxed); the client is then seated at a table and given fruit and water. At this time the receptionist walked over to me, she said that when I was ready to pay to let her know and she would collect the payment, then about thirty seconds later she walked back over to me and asked if I was ready to pay yet???
I had already been a repeat customer at this time and always had given generous tips. I have not returned and I did not hit on my massage therapist.

Jalee, Too bad you were so put off the last time of your visit. Now that you have't seen your hot therapist in a while, has the interest in him waned?

Yes, I'm over it. I think that I am prone to intensive crushes on guys then very quickly get over it. Mostly it seems that I develop crushes on inappropriate individuals, guess I'm not as mature as I'd like to be.

jalee0408 wrote:

Yes, I'm over it. I think that I am prone to intensive crushes on guys then very quickly get over it. Mostly it seems that I develop crushes on inappropriate individuals, guess I'm not as mature as I'd like to be.

Just the fact that you are willing to admit your mistake shows that you have reached a new level of maturity. I hope that you continue to enjoy the benefits of Massage Therapy in spite of your negative experience with this spa.