Do I have Schizophrenia or OCD? What's Wrong With Me?

For the past 1 year I have felt that everything has to be inevitable if it happens to me. Otherwise I do not feel right about it. For example, if my brother fixed the car and I could not fix it what if my brother couldn't fix it then so it is not inevitable that the car is fixed so I still can't use the car. I have to think this about everything. It applies to so many things. If I do something, it has to be inevitable or I can't do it.

And then I got really suspicious of other people, but it's because everything is so demonic about this world. Everything. Seriously. I believe that everyone's perceptions around me are based on prejudices and favoritism of others that cause them to plot against me. Some of these people sometimes authority figures will read my mind and sense that others in the league against me plot to torment me mentally, discriminate against me, and then exile me. All these people belong to an implicit group the Sociopolitical Group I believe, where they actively but implicitly act so that they can plot against me and torment me and exile me.

I'm so sick of all the demonic gradient that turns against me. The demonic gradient is made up of demons. The demons, even though I never actually see them, and even though the voices I hear are only partial hallucinations, and even though I am aware that the voices I hear are NOT real, I still hear them like shouts in a background, they are loud, violent, hostile and have the same tone of people who want to be abusive towards me. I think that the education part of government and also many authority figures want to demonize and torment me, so I have to repeat summoned voices of them verbally abusing me and then develop and practice responses. This process is extremely painful and disabling.

What is wrong with me? My whole social life has been completely destroyed. In fact my whole life is being destroyed by these problems. My familys lives are severely damaged by it, but theres nothing I can do,
because God sent me to earth to be a leader I think because I can be a Leader because as others plot agianst me that makes me a leader of the defending side. And I have to defend myself, so I have to become a leader, and since others plot against me I am a Leader.

Sometimes I think nothing is real. My parents, family, friends, people, this globe, my body is all FAKE. it is all some bizarre trick. I can't be limited to the confines of my super vulnerable physical body, I have to exist beyond it becuase if I cannot extend out of my body and am imprisoned in it then all of life seems useless.

What is this world? Some sort of creepy experiment where people exercise favoritism and discrimination and exile innocent tormented people like me?
People look at me with odd expressions and that's when I know they are against me, they hate and despise my body and my physical manifestation. I'm so sick of the fact that everyone has to be so demonic, why cant things be happy and peaceful. Sometimes the demons posess my teachers and parents and then I ahve to react violently to defend myself. Nothing is objective, this whole planet is biased, twisted, and sadistic. and I dont want to trust anybody except God and sometimes I think God is sadistic for sending me these stupid demons.

Please what is wrong with me? My doctor said that I have OCD because I do spend hours every day carrying out repetitive physical and mental compulsions in responses to obsessions. But I am also really paranoid and hear insulting voices in the distance that I am tortured by because I have to respond to those doggone things.

Also any commercials about romance convince me that people plot to torment me by exiling me and depriving me of any possible relationship.
I don't want to be social anymore. I want to separate from the whole world and just be my own entity. I want to just travel the universe as a peaceful, stable energy and maybe return when things become less demonic on this unfortunate planet.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist for 6 months at least...So I have improved.
But I sometimes get bad relapses where I get really paranoid about people.

I've resolved to attempt to be a peaceful person. I'll try hard to be peaceful. I'll try my best and when I'm paranoid I'll pray to God to help me.

Hey everyone...I was feeling like everything was useless earlier...but Now I feel paranoid that a close friend will go with this group against me and really try to hurt me...I just fear mental torment...I know that hallucinations are Not Real...but I am just worried that I could have mental torment.
And also, my name isn't Joe but I am too afraid to reveal my true name because if I do someone will stalk me, or the government can track me (they probably are watching everything I write here knowing my IP address but whatever...let them spy on me I dont care anymore)

My psychiatrist prescribed seroquel but that did not help. It did not help with the voices. I just try to ignore those pesky voices. Grr.
Anyway...there has to be a reason for all this...something with my neurotransmitters.

I have also had a bad history of sleep deprivation.

I think- I realize that a lot of this stuff and a lot of my fears are probably not real...after talking to psychiatrist I am starting to live in reality again thank God.
But I just hope and pray I do not relapse.
But again- I MUST always Live in Reality No Matter What. I can't let paranoia defeat me.
I am determined to overcome my paranoia!

Oh yea...one more thing
I had psychotic abusive sadistic teachers that were very very nice to other people but very abusive towards me with sarcasm and intimidation threats that are just like those that criminals make. They were abusive, discriminating, treated me like garbage. So that's why I think they plot against me. But I am The King, because I am in the Moral Right to stand up to the f****** that plot against me. But the courts and authority will only take their sides, because they also love the plot against me. Oh well...people like that are just stupid f******

Everyone says im angry and aggressive but when sadists plot to torture me I have to defend myself by declaring myself a leader.

And watch...people are spying on me as I write this and waiting for an opportunity to hurt me. Government people, authorities, they are reading this and they want to torture me. They want to torture me. They spy on me, they hate my guts, they will manipulate and abuse me. Only God can Save me. I am going to pray to God to save me.

Also, I am not a violent person. So I am peaceful, I am a peaceful leader, a King of the Innocent and Oppressed, So I post NO threat at all. I AM A SAFE PERSON TO OTHERS.

ug...had some visual hallucinations of God standing in front of me in a cloak and well defined hammers sitting on my floor and gliding with me while I walked. I just took some medicine maybe it'll be okay.
I hope God can rescue us all from this very scary terrifying Stuff. I ask God to help us all, and take away these scary things that are happening. We need God.

I had many of the same symptoms that you do. I thought everyone was joining together to get me. I was sure that even my psychiatrist couldn't be trusted....

They put me on Clozaril and it helped a lot. Sometimes I still have symptoms, but I deal with them with the best way I've learned how: to apply objective logic to the situation. I thought that someone put a chip on me which made me hear voices. I realized that it was impossible because the voice could hear the results of my tongue movements...if so, normal speech would be deafening. Therefore, it was impossible. Though I am no therapist, I suggest looking for objective proof that what you are subjectively experiencing isn't possible. Such as the fact that the whole world has never joined forces against a single person, so what are the chances that it's happening to you? Probably none.

I hope this helps. Most people with the illness do get better. My life is pretty much normal at this point. Things do get much better, once you escape the subjective terror you experience as one of the afflicted. Part of the disease for many is not knowing that they have it. You are blessed that part of you does.

Good luck,

Andy

Thank you Andy!!! I am working on getting better with therapists...Like I know my hallucinations are not real but I just get paranoid...I was taking seroquel but now Im taking alprazolam for my OCD type symptoms...Sometimes I think all My paranoia is part of OCD sometimes I think Schizo but whichever I'm trying very hard to be normal and live in reality.

Also one other thing I feel like soemthing that happens isnt real if it isnt inevitable for example a random event happens I dont think it was real because it wasnt inevitable...this is painful though because I have to construct what my experiences, events, and thought processes would have been if the random event hadn't happened.

I have experienced similar symptoms as you, but not as bad and without happucinations (i think... I can never trust myself). I have what seems to be OCD with comorbid bipolar disorder. I have never taken meds, and I know what I need to do to feel better, except mood swings usually stop me from doing what I need to do to feel better.

What you wrote was actually very organized compared to what most people with schizophrenia write. I actually found it to be quite interesting, because I was really paranoid when I lived in America, and I thought the government was plotting against me and was going to torture me for information. The things is, I have extremely liberal views, and seeing what happened to John Lennon and Kennedy, I got really scared. I always got the feeling that everyone was out there to get me.
Now I live in Spain and my paranoia is better, but mood swings are killing me.

what you need to do is relax. Maybe people are plotting against you, but you need to take it in a relaxed manner. In fact, if the government is after anyone, it's probably not you because you are really not very important to them.
Just relax. Go outside and go to a place where nature blooms. Just relax and breathe and forget about everything. Be in the moment. Don't force your thought out of your head, instead, just let them flow out of your head like water. Clear your mind.
Do this exercise daily, and you will improve. I have improved myself, so I'm pretty sure you will too. The voices will go away once your paraoia calms down.
I have never used meds, and I recomend you don't ether. What you need to do is learn the function of your disorder. Meds simply give you a break for a while, but they wouldn't teach you anything.

I am not an authority plotting against you ether. Just relax, and think of what the chances of someone plannig something so complex are. i mean, the government ploted against John Lennon, but the government can't waste so much time on somoeone who isn't that bad of a threat.

good luck.

I Have The Same Symptoms I Cant stand it I dont wanna Live Like This WHY ME! if this keeps up for the rest of my life im gonna kill myself

Hello, My Name Is Cassie. I have a Big issue!! I am Have Mental Problems..Not Like im retarted or anything..but listen I have Been hearing voices inside my head..I can see them..its like a day dream that went wrong They Do things to me and say things and harrass me I DO Things and Say things Because of it..And It Has Actual effects on me..Example..Lets say one of them smashed my hand in a door *this is in my head* My Hand Would Hurt..For Real..And I Have Times Where its so bad i wanna cry i get mad upset confused and They NEVER go away its 24-7..Please Help!! What is it??
If your confused..Basically..About 1 year ago I Have Been hibernating in my room, being dperessed,go on the computer,lost friends, Etc..It Started out as Day Dreams..You no when you think about something and you can picture it in your head...Well What if Those Day Dreams Where Bad Day Dreams..And They Talked Back and Did Things To you, Against your own will..Not For real but in your head..like your head cant stop thinking about them, And I Feel sad and want to cry, They Make Me React Differently, I Find It Hard To take Showers because i feel there watching me, Or, If I go to sleep i have to sleep a certain way or they will harrass me. I Feel i interact with them so they Affect me and the Things i do, They also have voices..Its Not Like There Silent..Im not Sure if i came To the right place to ask this question..but i think i have schizophrenia.. I didn't check out the site much so im not sure if this is what the emails are for but can you just tell me what you think this is in your best opinion..I Cant Find a doctor online to email about this..And My mom is no help..Do you no any professional people to ask about this issue and maybe i can clear this issue up..Please.Thx

cassie, how old are you?
And you seem to be just paranoid. I have auditory hallucinations becaue I dissociate, and that's what yo seem to be doing. You dissociate so much that you can see the things you are daydreaming about.

I said on the other post that you might have a schizoaffective dissorder, but I changed my mind because of what you said now.

You have learned to dissociate so much because of your paranoia and your possible depression, that you are seeing things. The dreamy state you describe seems a lot like dissociation.

I honestly don't think you are schizophrenic.

Like i said. Relax. You just have somethig that's related to ocd and anxiety.

Thanks for the advice!! It's just I have no social life...I'm a complete social reject...an ostracized freak of nature...My social life is dead...so I just live of my own...no social net to keep me happy...oh well.

I try to relax and forget the thoughts but any reminders of social stuff reminds me of rejection and exile and gets me paranoid.

But yea I'm a freak. Maybe even insane, and life can really suck on this planet.

I heard a doctor say that one schizophrenic cured himself by taking selenium. First he used capsules then wanting to use something natural he began taking one Brazil nut a day because these contain a high amount of selenium. Hope this helps

joe: I´ve been rejected by society my entire life as well. mainly because I was not a religious person, and I was living in America, where if you are not religious, you are hated. SO that alone makes me have emotional issues a lot.

I just started meditating: what I do is go for a walk or sit down (preferably go for a walk, until I can train my mind better), and I try to feel unconditional love, or acceptance for everythign that exists. This feeling needs to fill my mind, and all other thoughts need to calm down. This, for one thing, is a great feeling. And for another thing, it increases gamma activity in the brain slightly (which is what schizophrenics dont have). when you increase gamma activity, you become more aware of everything around you, and can achieve understanding far beyond the average human being. people who do this meditation for a long time (over 15 years or so) have an amazingly high amount of gamma activity in their brain, that scientists once thought imposible.
I try to feel this feeling of unconditional love and acceptance 24/7.

due to ur posts i can see ur a very desperate individual who has a lot to say because their life has been screwed over

my advise would be to keep occupied (exercise, instrument) when you start feeling negative.

beyond that i feel you seem to be having a psychotic break and therefore you ought to relax and take it easy for a while

try sitting down and not doing anything letting your thoughts integrate naturally, when soemthing bad comes up exercise it away

Hi I am 14 and I have OCD. I havn't told anyone, and I don't want to because I will feel stupid and retarded. Please help me=[

I'm, sorry you guys have to live like this. I just want you all to know that these things are not your fault, you unfortunatly have inherited or developed some type of brain disorder. you know everyone has issues no one is perfect, I actually think you guys are stronger then most people because you live with these problems and havent given up yet! Keep up the good work.Go see a Dr, not just anyone but ask someone you trust to find a good one for you.Take fish oil supplements that are good for the brain, get some exercise, eat right, and open up to someone who is caring, I know it's hard to trust people, but I know that someone cares about you. I have a son that was diagnosed with a brain disorder and I hurt for him every day, I love him so much and I hate that he has to live with such pain.The more you learn about your self and the more help you seek I think the better off you will be.Please don't think of your selves as social rejects, I don't think of you that way. I think of you as someone born with a medical problem just like someone born with diabetes or blindness or one leg.Please don't beat yourselves up anymore, try to live the best life you can, today!I read an article where they thought hallucinations and voices were the brain dreaming while awake, if you can try to think of it this way it may help with the paranoia. People actually learned to differentiate hallucinations between reality because the hallucinations had a dream like quality to them.I don't know if that helps but I wish you all the best, I feel so bad that you have so much to deal with.

Hey, just wanted let you know that I hear voices. well, not voices... well, no... They're voices but I don't really hear them, I think them but I can't control them. They're simple, short bursts of voices I know. They're familiar but I can't tell who they are... I don't think people would believe me or take me seriously if i ever said these things... god. I have these thoughts that people can read my mind so I am often very careful of what I think. I know they cannot, but I choose my thoughts carefully anyway. I have accidental thoughts a lot, though that may just be insecurity, where I don't like my thoughts, because some of them are really dumb. I obsess over films I see.. way obsess... but it's mostly the voices I hate. They happen like 3 times a week only at night when I'm going to bed they just shoot out. I can't even understand them, but they usually say my name. They only thing I've ever been able to understand that they say was "daniel stevens" and I don't know why.

wil, just a bit of information on this daniel stevens. He is a british actor who regularly plays a stunt double. he is quite young, and has probably only just started proffesional acting as most of his movie and T.V release dates have been in 2007 and up to 2009. I have Schizophrenia but i am coping. Finding out useless information helps keep the voices on their toes.
*the thing about the voices is real for me and it is not just an inflammatory remark if anyone replies to this.