why cant i stop cutting?

Wow yesterday was the worst day so far I have never cut myself so much at once.I cut about 19 slits on my hips && wrist put toghther.I had to start cutting on my hips because my mother checks my wrist once in awhile && she has never thought to check my hips.Wow i just want to cut right tnow but im tired of harming myself im tired of having these scars all over my body I just I could stop!

my mom has also resorted to looking at my wrists too. the thing i tell her is that i droped a knife in shop class or if you have a cat i told her that my cat scratched me. i really want to stop to but i cant because my life sucks and my hole family are drunks. i wish i could help but i need it to. we should try to help each other in that case

MATT-D-S- wrote:

my mom has also resorted to looking at my wrists too. the thing i tell her is that i droped a knife in shop class or if you have a cat i told her that my cat scratched me. i really want to stop to but i cant because my life sucks and my hole family are drunks. i wish i could help but i need it to. we should try to help each other in that case

Well I could never do that my mother&&dad would never belive it because when i do it i do like at least ten times.My mother is an alcholisc so trust I know how it feels,My father was an alcholic && a drug addict he has been sober for 9 years.Well yea if you need anybody to talk to just email me at CierraNicole121@hotmail.com

i keep cutting
i want to stop but i cant
its so hard
i have the word love cut so deep in my side
im scared if i stop cutting ill do some thing
real bad im scared it killing me haveing no one to tell this to
im not crazy its just the only way i can see
why im crying

http://healthyplace.com/Communities/Self_Inju...

The above site is probably the best one I've seen so far for cutters. I'm not one myself but I know people at school. I've had the fear - I was suicidal when I started middle school; the stress really got to me. My mom made me talk to a counselor but I don't think they understood. Talk to your friends, though, if not an adult. They'll support you.

and i wonder wrote:

i keep cutting
i want to stop but i cant
its so hard
i have the word love cut so deep in my side
im scared if i stop cutting ill do some thing
real bad im scared it killing me haveing no one to tell this to
im not crazy its just the only way i can see
why im crying

For me it is a cycle that once it starts it is darn near impossible to stop. First the mental depression the self loathing, and hate, then the pain that seems to just keep building from all the thoughts of worthlessness I have, then out comes the razor and the cutting begins, at least I tell myself I can see this pain I can see some result as to why it hurts. The invisible mental pain seems to quiet some and I can concentrate on my cuts. Then the hiding of the wounds the anger if anyone asks or smiles my way, how dare they feel good or have any thing to smile about.

I have been in and out of many institutions over my life, I have attempted many times. I have been on many anti depressants, I like some of you get so tired of fighting this demon, so I keep asking my self over and over How do I know it would be better on the other side? I don't so the coward that I am keeps me alive.

To some degree I hope that this helps any one who chooses to read it. Understand that you are NOT alone in your battles, I come here and take strength from your words I hope mine can do the same for you.

i feel the same way...im actually prolly one of the least likely people to every enter into a low and depressing state like im in...but i cant help it...i continually cut myself, make myself throw up, and now im really wanting to start taking pills but its hard to access them??? i dont know what to do?

Cierranicole wrote:

Wow yesterday was the worst day so far I have never cut myself so much at once.I cut about 19 slits on my hips && wrist put toghther.I had to start cutting on my hips because my mother checks my wrist once in awhile && she has never thought to check my hips.Wow i just want to cut right tnow but im tired of harming myself im tired of having these scars all over my body I just I could stop!

you may find it is one of the easiest ways to care for yourself. if you feel self hatred and you want to die but hesitate and then you cut, you care for the wounds in a way you cannot care for your soul right now. drastic physical measures are the easiest and most instantaneously gratifying. trust me, it is drastic change that you crave and if you can make as many drastic changes in your outward life as you can, eg. quit your job and get one you never pictured yourself doing, lose your friends that talk too much and say nothing, stop wearing clothes that don't say how you feel inside. there are many things you can do to drastically change your life before eating a bullet, and really don't you owe it to yourself to try a little craziness before the great departure?

doc76013 wrote:

<quoted text>
you may find it is one of the easiest ways to care for yourself. if you feel self hatred and you want to die but hesitate and then you cut, you care for the wounds in a way you cannot care for your soul right now. drastic physical measures are the easiest and most instantaneously gratifying. trust me, it is drastic change that you crave and if you can make as many drastic changes in your outward life as you can, eg. quit your job and get one you never pictured yourself doing, lose your friends that talk too much and say nothing, stop wearing clothes that don't say how you feel inside. there are many things you can do to drastically change your life before eating a bullet, and really don't you owe it to yourself to try a little craziness before the great departure?

i am not doc76013 i am his lover/roomy you can contact me at lilfetis@yahoo.com if you want to reply or talk this isn't my account.

I have to be honest. I have not told this to anyone, but I feel comfortable laying down my thoughts here. I attempted suicide twice in the passed month prior to several other attempted suicides in the past. It may not seem like it, but it is true. The first time, I attempted to hang myself. The second time, I drove downtown and was quite close to jumping off a building. For some reason, I had this voice inside of me, telling me to hold on to my dreams with the natural feeling of being scared of what might happen after I am gone. This cycle is beginning to become so redundant that I am starting to laugh at myself. The most minute combination of things make me severely depressed, I'm so tired of this shit. However, I am glad I found a website like this with people who share the same struggles. It is sincerely a comforting thought.

hi. I can't stop cutting. I feel so horrible inside, people have starting telling me I look miserable. I have 'HATE' on my chest engraved really deep, plus many on my arms, I lie and say they are paper cuts or cat scratches. My msn is katielovesrocknroll@hotmail.co .uk

:( help. I'm in school in a lesson & I feel like I want to cut myself right now :S

Im 14 and i use to cut...I havent cut in about 14 days...the hardest 14 days of my life but..it is soo addicting.. :(

doc76013 wrote:

<quoted text>
you may find it is one of the easiest ways to care for yourself. if you feel self hatred and you want to die but hesitate and then you cut, you care for the wounds in a way you cannot care for your soul right now. drastic physical measures are the easiest and most instantaneously gratifying. trust me, it is drastic change that you crave and if you can make as many drastic changes in your outward life as you can, eg. quit your job and get one you never pictured yourself doing, lose your friends that talk too much and say nothing, stop wearing clothes that don't say how you feel inside. there are many things you can do to drastically change your life before eating a bullet, and really don't you owe it to yourself to try a little craziness before the great departure?

This is your take on what these people, some of whom are just kids should do about cutting, and their many life problems? Some are already suicidally inclined. I'm sorry, they've already been lead into too much craziness that's resulted in cutting. I hope no one takes you seriously. That's just plain bad advice that's going to make things even worse.

It's because you wanna let your pain out. You can't hold the pain much longer, right? I understand. I cut for almost a year but I stopped. Try to let it out a different way; throw some socks around, write a diary, write some lyrics, anything that doesn't involve violence.