Teens cutting. A cry for help

The other forum got kinda full so I started a new one

My name is Jazz. I've been cutting for the past... 6 months. It brings me relief, knowing I can stop the internal pain that hangs over me like a huge black cloud. I am 15 and going into 10th grade. At school, I have many friends who care about me deeply and I have a loving family, including my older sister. But even with this love and constant knowing of that love, I feel alone, like no one understands anything. In the past 2 years, I lost one friend twice. The first time, he went to jail and came back about 8 or 9 months later. The next time I lost him,. he just disappeared from my life. I don't know where he is. I've also lost three friends in the past year, so the pain of all these deaths and losses has pushed me to cutting. It allows me to feel human, knowing I can be hurt. I feel alive after I cut. I have scars on my legs and some on my wrists. I use a knife when I cut that has been dulled, but it still makes me bleed. I need help. What can I do, besides tell someone? My parents would freak out and my friends don't care. Yes, I told my friends, but they don't believe me, even after I showed them a few scars. So, help me, please!

Thank you,
Jazz

u should tell ur parents so they can get u help

Jazz,
You doing the right thing by talking about this. At least you know there is a need in your life. The hardest part is taking the next step by doing it. Go to the hospital and talk to someone there. I lost a few friends in my past but there will always be a new day and a new friend to come inside your life down the road. You can also go to a Pastor or someone if you care to find a closer relationship with God. The Pastor will either counsel you or guide you to the one who can. Be brave and don't ever give up. Take care.

Hi, umm.....i have thoughts of cutting which i know is bad. I've even researched about it but the temptation is over whelming. I'm going to grade 10 and the only thing that pushes me over the edge are my parents. I love them it's just that they try really hard to get me a good life since my mom deals with depression and my dads just sad... they try really hard and i just blow it up in their faces.

They want my to study hard, get a good education and my marks are low. I know this sounds dumb but my marks + my parents = thoughts of cutting. I've even thought about suicide but i don't want my parents to cry wondering what did they do wrong and stuff...

I Don't know how to cure this temptation...i can't talk to my parents about it because this depression would tear my parents apart and i don't want to. srry, my life's kinda confusing

Hi, I'm 21 years old. When I was a senior in high school i started to cut. A lot of stuff I've held in for years finally got to me and I could deal with it. My family isn't the picture perfect type but its okay. About January is when people started to notice. I did a research paper on selfinjury in young adults (it was preapproved by the teacher but I still got sent to the principle's office, the guidance counciler and the woman from the local psy ward. I was over 18 so I knew that they couldnt tell my parents but it does help to talk. I was lucky enough to have friends that really cared. Some of you might find this to be a run of the mill type story but i found relief in painting religion and a website called www.self-injury.net it is a place where you can talk to other self injurers. The people really care but I must warn you there are places on the site which can be triggering. In the past year ive only cut twice. If anyone ever needs someone to talk to my aim is bbjeeyor. Stay safe and God Bless!

Well, I have been cuttign for abotu 5 years now. Its not liek i don't have freinds or a boyfreind it's not like that. I have freinds that love me and that i love. Me and my boyfreind are good i love him to death but at home my mom yells at me all the time and ntohign is ever good enough and then my step mom is dieing so i can't do anythign and i have always been told that i was worthless and im not going to amount up to anythign so i cutt because i feel liek i deserve it, I need help and i can't find it PLEASE HELP ME!

By anyones standards my life is a good one, good family, friends etc. But all the time i just feel so depressed and i want to be alone allthe time. I just dont see the point in anything, like my lifes going ot waste away in front of me. School is really stressing me out, and in my mind i esculate things so i panic. I've stopped eating when i'm not in the house and when i'm in the house i make myself sick. I've got no energy and i just feel like crap all the time,and i feel guilty and responsible for everything that happens around me, and i've started cutting, i feel like i deserve it and it helps take away some of the guilt i feel. I can't talk to my friends because they'll either freak out and tell my parents or start asking loads of questions that i don't want to answer. Please help.

Under Your Spell wrote:

By anyones standards my life is a good one, good family, friends etc. But all the time i just feel so depressed and i want to be alone allthe time. I just dont see the point in anything, like my lifes going ot waste away in front of me. School is really stressing me out, and in my mind i esculate things so i panic. I've stopped eating when i'm not in the house and when i'm in the house i make myself sick. I've got no energy and i just feel like crap all the time,and i feel guilty and responsible for everything that happens around me, and i've started cutting, i feel like i deserve it and it helps take away some of the guilt i feel. I can't talk to my friends because they'll either freak out and tell my parents or start asking loads of questions that i don't want to answer. Please help.

Hi UYS,
I know those feelings so well. I never cut, but the feelings spilt out in other ways.
It's the society we live in that is making everyone more and more depressed, I'm sure of it. I'm sure there's more depression now than there used to be.
I'm a child sex abuse survivor, and I've been made to feel a complete shit because of what happened to me as a kid. Poeple are terrified of folk with mental illness, whatever the cause, they see mentally sick people as violent I think. I am a pussycat inside of me, but I shout and scream quite a lot, to relieve the tension. I have fits sometimes, these consist of breaking things and rolling around on the floor, biting things (not people!!!) and stuff like that. Most of the time, I'm a pretty together person, but when I lose it, I really lose it in a big way.
I have a family, a nine year old son with Aspergers and a 23 year old daughter and a very nice understanding boyfriend, and a few really good friends. They all accept that I have PTSD and we all live our lives in this crazy asymetrically balanced kind of way. I'm being taken to court right now by the bastard who abused me for 5 years and also tried to have sex with my daughter who was 14 at the time, she may even have been 13. Hence the fits. It's not really very nice being taken to court by the bastard who raped me. It could only happen in Britain!!!!
The UK is a totally crazy place to live anyway at the moment. The laws are totally f*cked up, it's not surprising there are so many people struggling to cope with their own emotions.
My advice to you is that you LOVE YOURSELF. Don't ever ever ever let anyone let you feel ashamed of your own hurt inside of you. Don't let anyone look down their noses at you. People do that a lot, I bloody well won't let anyone look down on me. I'm great, I am, a real survivor, I've gone through hell, so I have these fits, so bloody what, so bloody what! I don't know what is making you sad, but you have just as much right to hold your head up high as anyone else in your town.
Try to understand in your own mind why you feel so sad though. Is there no-one you can trust? Talking about it has helped me so much, some people have spurned me, well, good riddence to them anyway, but I know that the ones who have stood by me really are true friends.

Iv been a cutter for a while now and I cant stop. Im usually ok during the day but some nights i find myself like tonight, contemplating where to cut next so my friends and family cant see the scars, contemplating much worse things. My parents don't know and friends dont understand and just make it worse. I dont know what to do anymore. Posting here seems pointless to to me but i have no one to turn to. I want to stop before I go to far once again...

Hi Eric,

Do you know why you cut? What usually triggers it?

Little things trigger it. A comment by a friend that shouldnt make me me upset can sometimes feel like someone told me my mother died.

Eric wrote:

Little things trigger it. A comment by a friend that shouldnt make me me upset can sometimes feel like someone told me my mother died.

i understand completely...(i hope i am not talking out of turn here...) but maybe it is suppressed anger that is triggering it... do you think it would help by talking to someone? if not... try to write about it... i am usually very good about giving advice but am in the same boat so i don't really understand it either... but i am glad that there is a forum where people are trying to get help instead of other people screaming at them to stop and just causing more chaos. anyway... i know that i have gotten better because i look back on the other writings from a few years ago and at least now i am happy sometimes... all i know is that the only thing that keeps me from it (when i stop myself) is hope. i know how hard it is to stop (trust me I KNOW)... but hope is the only thing you can do... my relationship with God has grown because of this (i know it sounds weird)... but sometimes God does things to try to pull you closer to Him. and just remember He will never give you anything you can't bear...(even if it may feel like it)... sometimes even when you don't think there is a way out... there is... that is when it is AWESOME to over-analyze. even if you do not have a relationship with God or just simply don't believe in Him... give it a chance...

rae wrote:

<quoted text>
i understand completely...(i hope i am not talking out of turn here...) but maybe it is suppressed anger that is triggering it... do you think it would help by talking to someone? if not... try to write about it... i am usually very good about giving advice but am in the same boat so i don't really understand it either... but i am glad that there is a forum where people are trying to get help instead of other people screaming at them to stop and just causing more chaos. anyway... i know that i have gotten better because i look back on the other writings from a few years ago and at least now i am happy sometimes... all i know is that the only thing that keeps me from it (when i stop myself) is hope. i know how hard it is to stop (trust me I KNOW)... but hope is the only thing you can do... my relationship with God has grown because of this (i know it sounds weird)... but sometimes God does things to try to pull you closer to Him. and just remember He will never give you anything you can't bear...(even if it may feel like it)... sometimes even when you don't think there is a way out... there is... that is when it is AWESOME to over-analyze. even if you do not have a relationship with God or just simply don't believe in Him... give it a chance...

Yes, I think that too.

Eric, if you want to talk about stuff, I'll listen as well, and I promise I will never say "pull yourself together" or any of that stuff, basically because I've had that said to me and I know how hurtful it is.

Yes, it is nice to have a place where we can talk about real stuff.

im 12, in the 7th grade and have cut for a month and i hate it.
in health, i am doing a project on it to help me learn the real dangers of it.
--kari

the only me who cares wrote:

im 12, in the 7th grade and have cut for a month and i hate it.
in health, i am doing a project on it to help me learn the real dangers of it.
--kari

Hi,

I think the main thing is, is to try to find out why you cut. No-one else knows that, only you know that, because only you can feel the pain inside of you.

When you feel like cutting again, try to write down all the feelings that you have. Try to find out what triggers off those feelings.

I'd tell you to go and see a doctor, but I've had so many problems with bad doctors that I'm scared to tell anyone else to go to see one, in case you end up even more depressed.

If you were to look at my life, everything feels normal, seems normal, and SHOULD be normal. My family loves me never hurts me, my friends would care if I told them but I love them enough not to bother them and the guy I like seems to like me back? Why should I cut? I ask my self that eveeryday, why why why why? It just feels better afterwards and I don't know why? Can any awnser my question?

XxDarknessCreepsxX wrote:

If you were to look at my life, everything feels normal, seems normal, and SHOULD be normal. My family loves me never hurts me, my friends would care if I told them but I love them enough not to bother them and the guy I like seems to like me back? Why should I cut? I ask my self that eveeryday, why why why why? It just feels better afterwards and I don't know why? Can any awnser my question?

Hi,

Well, here's an idea. The next time that you feel like cutting, write down what your thoughts are. I've done this, then come back to it and discovered something about what is going on inside my head.

I am sure of this; you are not cutting for no reason at all, there will either be one or a mass of reasons.

If I don't write it down, I forget very quickly. Depression plays havoc with my memory, I think it affects most people that way.

I have a lovely family too, and I felt really guilty about the suicidel feelings I was getting. People with lovely families do get depression though. All my problems stem from child abuse over 30 years ago (that is why I am so militant about child abuse).

Try writing your thoughts down. Even if all you end up is a load of swear words, nasty faces with pen holes bodjed through them and wet paper from tears (as I did) there will be something solid to help you understand the turmoil inside of you.

i got a scar on my head its massive i hate myself from it

mario wrote:

i got a scar on my head its massive i hate myself from it

If someone loved you and kissed that scar and thought that it was lovely because they thought that you were lovely, would you still feel like that?

If my boyfriend had a massive scar, I would love him even more than I already do, I think, because I think It would make him even more unique than he already is.

Don't be horrible to yourself because you have a scar. Some really famous people have had scars and stuff, and Sean McGowan has got all black teeth, but people still love him.(I hear he hasn't got any teeth now, because he got drunk and fell over and they got knocked out, so I bet he looks much worse than you do, but people still think that he is cute)And some people put loads of tattoos all over their faces (I wouldn't do it myself, I don't like injections at the doctors, so I don't know how they can stand all that pain), even women have it done, and have relationships and seem ok about it.

I bet you have got a really nice face, scar included.