I have been in a relationship with a Bipolar before and it was hell

The relationship mimiced the Henry Rollins song Liar

you think you're gonna to live your life alone
in darkness
and seclusion
yeah I know
you've been out there
tried to mix with those animals
and it just left you full of humiliated confusion
so you stagger back home
and wait for nothing
but the solitary refinement of your room spits you back out onto the street
and now you're desperate
and in need of human contact
and then
you meet me
and you whole world changes
because everything I say is everything you've ever wanted to hear
so you drop all your defenses and you drop all your fears
and you trust me completely
I'm perfect
in every way
cause I make you feel so strong and so powerful inside
you feel so lucky
but your ego obscures reality
and you never bother to wonder why
things are going so well
you wanna know why?
cause I'm a liar
yeah I'm a liar
I'll tear your mind out
I'll burn your soul
I'll turn you into me
I'll turn you into me
cause I'm a liar, a liar
a liar, a liar

I'll hide behind a smile
and understanding eyes
and I'll tell you things that you already know
so you can say
I really identify with you, so much
and all the time that you're needing me
is just the time that I'm bleeding you
don't you get it yet?
I'll come to you like an affliction
and I'll leave you like an addiction
you'll never forget me
you wanna know why?
cause I'm a liar
yeah I'm a liar
I'll rip your mind out
I'll burn your soul
I'll turn you into me
I'll turn you into me
cause I'm a liar, a liar
liar, liar, liar, liar

I don't know why I feel the need to lie
and cause you so much pain
maybe it's something inside
maybe it's something I can't explain
cause all I do
is mess you up and lie to you
I'm a liar
oh, I am a liar

if you'll give me one more chance
I swear that I will never lie to you again
because now I see the destructive power of a lie
they're stronger than truth
I can't believe I ever hurt you
I swear
I will never to you lie again, please
just give me one more chance
I will never lie to you again
I swear
that I will never tell a lie
I will never tell a lie
no, no
ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
sucker
sucker!
oh, sucker
I am a liar
yeah, I am a liar
yeah I like it
I feel good
ohh I am a liar
yeah
I lie
I lie
I lie
oh, I lie
oh I lie
I lie
yeah
ohhh I'm a liar
I lie
yeah
I like it
I feel good
I'll lie again
and again
I'll lie again and again
and I'll keep lying
I promise

The only good thing I can say come out of it that I can see a bipolar person right away now so if it's a bipolar women looking for a relationship I run the other way.

It was so good to read your peice on Bi polar
I have just come out of a whirlwind engagement and romance with a Bi Polar man and even though I was skeptical he managed to win me over and sold me the dream life and as soon as I was hooked he just turned into a snake and the lies and deceipt and just the level of emotional creulty have left me incredibly hurt I feel like I am in shock and I am a really strong and independant. Any way I will get over it I just couldnt live on that rollercoaster but the words you wrote are the first I have read that explain exactly what I have been through as an honest trusting person I just cannot understand that level of lies and manipulation Thankyou eliza

Serious Sam wrote:

The relationship mimiced the Henry Rollins song Liar
you think you're gonna to live your life alone
in darkness
and seclusion
yeah I know
you've been out there
tried to mix with those animals
and it just left you full of humiliated confusion
so you stagger back home
and wait for nothing
but the solitary refinement of your room spits you back out onto the street
and now you're desperate
and in need of human contact
and then
you meet me
and you whole world changes
because everything I say is everything you've ever wanted to hear
so you drop all your defenses and you drop all your fears
and you trust me completely
I'm perfect
in every way
cause I make you feel so strong and so powerful inside
you feel so lucky
but your ego obscures reality
and you never bother to wonder why
things are going so well
you wanna know why?
cause I'm a liar
yeah I'm a liar
I'll tear your mind out
I'll burn your soul
I'll turn you into me
I'll turn you into me
cause I'm a liar, a liar
a liar, a liar
I'll hide behind a smile
and understanding eyes
and I'll tell you things that you already know
so you can say
I really identify with you, so much
and all the time that you're needing me
is just the time that I'm bleeding you
don't you get it yet?
I'll come to you like an affliction
and I'll leave you like an addiction
you'll never forget me
you wanna know why?
cause I'm a liar
yeah I'm a liar
I'll rip your mind out
I'll burn your soul
I'll turn you into me
I'll turn you into me
cause I'm a liar, a liar
liar, liar, liar, liar
I don't know why I feel the need to lie
and cause you so much pain
maybe it's something inside
maybe it's something I can't explain
cause all I do
is mess you up and lie to you
I'm a liar
oh, I am a liar
if you'll give me one more chance
I swear that I will never lie to you again
because now I see the destructive power of a lie
they're stronger than truth
I can't believe I ever hurt you
I swear
I will never to you lie again, please
just give me one more chance
I will never lie to you again
I swear
that I will never tell a lie
I will never tell a lie
no, no
ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
sucker
sucker!
oh, sucker
I am a liar
yeah, I am a liar
yeah I like it
I feel good
ohh I am a liar
yeah
I lie
I lie
I lie
oh, I lie
oh I lie
I lie
yeah
ohhh I'm a liar
I lie
yeah
I like it
I feel good
I'll lie again
and again
I'll lie again and again
and I'll keep lying
I promise
The only good thing I can say come out of it that I can see a bipolar person right away now so if it's a bipolar women looking for a relationship I run the other way.

9/11/06-I just found out that my fiance was bipolar. He went off his medication claming he needed to think more clearly. Then he quit calling me, and I called his family and found out who he really was.(We had a long distance relationship meeting on the internet, through a church singles site) This song you have absolutely describes our relationship! He stole my heart but at least I found out everything before we got married. He was too good to be true. I want to know how to save other women from this pain and shocking heartache. IF any woman out there wants more information about how he lured my heart write me at anneodeb@gmail.com and I will be happy to hear anyone that can tell me how to put a sheild on my heart! LOL! Sure I make jokes, but it still hurts. Never again do I want to fall for a bipolar man.-Debbie Shoemaker

(by the way, I am not in Houston, TX, but it appears my (work) server is. I am in Mesa, AZ

Debbie Shoemaker wrote:

(by the way, I am not in Houston, TX, but it appears my (work) server is. I am in Mesa, AZ

Debbie,

I am attempting to end a 8month relationship with a bipolar. Sweet, compassionate, tells me everything I want to hear (and I didn't ask for it..) but lies and then confession. He's up and down and our relationship suffered. Just started Depokote...says it makes him think clearer and has eliminated racing thoughts. He says he is faithful and I believe he is. But the main problem that has kept us apart emotionally and kept my suspicious was that he was overly aware of other women. Constantly noticing them like he had never been around women. I can't say he was really "looking" because the stare might be 1-2 seconds. But I was very much aware of it and wondered why all the attention if he's not taking any action on it? Have you heard of this? He has no history of infidelity, but something's going on in the mind. I've read that bipolars can be very promiscuous. Thanks. Appreciate any input.

I cant tell you all how true this is. My wife and I were married 5 years, and have 2 small children. We had her in Rehab when she was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder. Needless to say, every time I turned around it was another lie, for no apparent reason. She is a liar, a cheater, and a theif. And for what? She left, its been 3 months and hasnt asked once to see or how the children are. THe day she left, she conned her way into another relationship. I kind of feel sorry for this guy because she is luring him in like she did me years ago. THe sad part is now I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old that can never see their mother again because of how sick she is. For all of you out there thinking of getting in a relationship with a manic depressive person, watch yourself. You will fall head over heels with that person, but when you find out who they really are, you will be crushed. And NEVER have children with them, it is hard to explain to your children why their mommy is sick. For what ever reason, most bi polar women refuse to accept their condition and take their medication. I can tell you from experience, the facad they put on in the beginning is wonderful, and you will fall head over heels, but in the end you know you have been taken for a fool. The lyrics to this song are right on the money. Its sad but true. There isnt a second in the day I dont think about the person I fell in love with, but apparently its the disease. However, the person they become, can be your worst night mare. Save yourself the heartache and headache, dont get caught up. Because a bi polar person is capable of destroying you no matter how strong you are. They use your emotions against you and are very cold and destructive inside. If you are sitting there thinking, it cant happen to me, it can and it will. I said the same thing, believed the same thing, and now I know different. This disease is horrific and the manic depressives truly are posessed by it. Watch out and take advice from those of us that have been there and lived that. Sean in Sugarland, TX

You don't want to know, after 29 years of trying with a bipolar husband, I can not do it anymore! My kids are going to have to understand and I hope they are not affected! I give up!! I loved him thru everything and he still treats me with no respect for anything!!!
When confonted with my displeasure in him visisting strip clubs and flirting with every women he encounters, he looks at me like I have caught him like a child (I might add that I am a size 4 and many men find me quite attractive). I know I'm an idiot but I have three great children who love him and are great kids. What do I do???

Just in case, since this it the first time I've said anything, I am home alone and if anything happens to me, check it out with my sister. Val Griffis.

Sean Dooley wrote:

I cant tell you all how true this is. My wife and I were married 5 years, and have 2 small children. We had her in Rehab when she was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder. Needless to say, every time I turned around it was another lie, for no apparent reason. She is a liar, a cheater, and a theif. And for what? She left, its been 3 months and hasnt asked once to see or how the children are. THe day she left, she conned her way into another relationship. I kind of feel sorry for this guy because she is luring him in like she did me years ago. THe sad part is now I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old that can never see their mother again because of how sick she is. For all of you out there thinking of getting in a relationship with a manic depressive person, watch yourself. You will fall head over heels with that person, but when you find out who they really are, you will be crushed. And NEVER have children with them, it is hard to explain to your children why their mommy is sick. For what ever reason, most bi polar women refuse to accept their condition and take their medication. I can tell you from experience, the facad they put on in the beginning is wonderful, and you will fall head over heels, but in the end you know you have been taken for a fool. The lyrics to this song are right on the money. Its sad but true. There isnt a second in the day I dont think about the person I fell in love with, but apparently its the disease. However, the person they become, can be your worst night mare. Save yourself the heartache and headache, dont get caught up. Because a bi polar person is capable of destroying you no matter how strong you are. They use your emotions against you and are very cold and destructive inside. If you are sitting there thinking, it cant happen to me, it can and it will. I said the same thing, believed the same thing, and now I know different. This disease is horrific and the manic depressives truly are posessed by it. Watch out and take advice from those of us that have been there and lived that. Sean in Sugarland, TX

My partner of 7 years, the one I thought was my soulmate, left me 10 months ago for a married bi-polar co-worker and mother of two (1 and 3 year old). Once she found out about my friend's sexual orientation, her bi-polar coworker pursued my friend like a horny dog. She would shower her with expensive gifts and books about how to set up boundaries with others and how to distance yourself from your family and friends. She would give her love notes every day, text-message her or call her every 10-15min on her cell when my friend was at home. Life became pure hell within a few weeks. Finally, my friend left me and took off with her coworker. The coworker left her husband and divorced him. They are now living together and the two kids... My ex has cut all ties off most of her with her family. Sad...

Hey guys!I was just reading what you all had said and it really touched me but it really hurt at the same time.I am bipolar.I am 19 and am working on my meds to stable me out.My husband has gone through hell.I hate it! I hate that I am bipolar! I am trying to fix it! I am so lucky to have someone there for me all the time!So i probably shouldn't be writing this because i have never been with anyone who is bipolar but I want you all to know that bipolar people are people to! We are just really different,the most successful people in this world are bipolar. We just need you people out there to encourage us to go and get help, to take meds.That is our only hope! I really hate being bipolar! I hate it more than anything! I would give anything to think like you guys do!!!!! I really do! But I cant and I have to deal with it! i read that sentence about a guy that said he could tell if someone is bipolar and he just runs aways!!!hahahah...that is silly! I bet he has talked to a million people who have bipolar and had no clue!!!LOL!! I bet if you first met me you could never tell! The only person that knows i have it is my husband!! You guys should read more into it and realize that we are not all there!!!!LOL!! and we just need your love and support to help us!!!! We need you guys!!! I hope i helped some! I just feel offended when the people that dont have it bash us.I dont want to be this way you know. Its like making fun of someone for having cancer.....someone cant change that...unless they work on it and have support!
jewel

I am so hurt that people write, "he/she is a bipolar." Don't you see what that sounds like, what it is implying to anyone who doesn't understand what bipolar is? It's like saying, " he/she is a" ....ugh! i don't even want to say it!!!.... "Colored, nigg**, Kike, Dike, Cracker" Please fill in any derogatory judgmental remark here and it is the same. People who HAVE bipolar are not anything but bipolar, we have the same blood, and thoughts and emotions as anyone else. It is a disease so it is unjust to brand someone in a negative way as being a bipolar! You wouldn't say to a person WITH autism, "hey autism, come here" unless you were an ass hole, right? I have bipolar and I have dated a person who has bipolar as well.

If you are dating/married to someone with bipolar!!!

you have to know yourself and know what you aren't going to put up with anymore. If he/she is a constant rollar coaster and is making little or no effort to help themselves, they are being destructive to you and family as well. Divorce might not be the answer if you really love him, but if you have bipolar yourself then maybe you need an outsiders perspective, because love is blind i think, more with a person with bipolar. Remember we are often run by our emotions at a higher percentage. Maybe seperation will make him/her realize what is own actions have caused. If he is cheating, even with just his eyes, and you have expressed how much this hurts you and it is destroying you, then perhaps he doesn't have enough respect for you to work with you on this issue. Respect & Trust are two key factors in a relationship so if they are caroding away, maybe it's time to deal with it rationaly, rather than emotionally. If children are involved, take care in not bashing the person with bipolar because they will have that uneducated hatred not only with "a bipolar" but possibly " a colored, a jew, a christian, or even a blonde, or a mixed". And who wants to be responcable for raising a heart full of bigotry.

I'm bi-polar and in recovery. I can relate to the posting's here as I've hurt people that I've been in a relationship with. It was completely unintentional but I couldn't help myself - even though I knew what I was doing was wrong. Unfortunately I lost a woman that I loved very much and wanted to have a family with. The loss sent me in into the worse depression I've ever had. I ended up trying to kill myself twice and hospitalizing myself voluntarily. At 35 I was finally diagnosed with bi-polar and started medication. That was almost a year ago and I've committed myself to staying on the medication so that I don't hurt people any more (or myself). I wish that I had been properly diagnosed years ago. I'm very sorry for the relationships that I've killed. At the same time though I have a new hope and as I said earlier plan on staying on the medication. I'd like to urge people to have hope when your loved one is diagnosed with bi-polar. It is treatable with meds and the meds can allow you to be stable and be the person that you really are.

I fell in love with a young lady who turned out to be bi-polar. She was perfect when she was well, but yeah - the lies I didn't know they were lies at the start :(

I didn't care - "Let's just sort them out, It doesn't matter we'll just put it right now, I love you"

I so wanted to stand by her, she was everything to me. I wanted her to be my wife still. She turned on me and ripped my heart apart and destroyed me instead. I forgive her. I feel love.

I am in love with a bipolar woman and after 5 months she said she does not love me and asked me to move out. I have done as she requested and then I did what I should have done from the start. I got informed and I see now where I should have asked more questions. She would miss her doc. appointments and changes her meds. She is well aware of her condistion but they ride the highs and lows of bipolar. She is the most loving person I have ever met and she is honest which alot of people like them are not.
Well it has been a couple of weeks now and she is beginning to to talk to me some. I know this is slow thing with them and you can not be to pushy.
I had known her for some time before we ever dated, so part of me was well aware of her actions, does not make them hurt any less, just a little easier to accept.
My advise to anyone dating someone with bipolar is to get informed and get involed with there doc.'s so that maybe you can be better perpared when they can at you out of the blue with something like I do not love anymore and you got to go.
I just keep telling her I love her and how beautiful she is and how special she is to me and leaving the rest in God's hands.
I heard through a friend of hers that she talked to one doc. about med that she thought she was taking for sleep but it was really for the bipolar. If nothing else I hope she taking regular and just maybe we can pick back up from were we left off. Time and patients is what I have read it will take and most likely a awhole lot of praying.
Good luck to all and remember never hate the person but you can get made as hell at the disorder.

Hello I live out here in california. I have been in a very close loving relationship. I was to get married this christmas. We had a awesome relationship one a relationship that there was trust, love, great family. everything you could want in life out of a relationship. Her two daughters loved me very much as I was a good role model of a father to her. I really cant say anything bad for 7 months about it. Her family came down to stay with us and just had an awesome time. going to church. Where I am going with this is even the perfect relationship where you think you have everything is full of lies.
See after 7 months she came out and said there is something wrong with me. She said she has bipolar. she said she needed help then said she needed to be with her family back home to get help. I did everything I could to be there for her took her to the airport she said I love you and tell me everything will be ok. I said yes it will. Well two days later she called me and said everything is ok im getting help im at my ex boyfriends house he is helping me. It just made my body numb I had no idea she was even talking to this guy. She said Im sorry I was so hurt inside that I cannot even describe it. I felt so alone so cold so hurt so so so so full of lies. well one week later she called me from his house crying and making threts. then started crying and missing her family. I have done alot of research and finding that all bipolar relationships usually end up not good. I have learned so much and I really feel so sorry for anyone with this illness. I am sorry you have to go through a life so hard so lonely so ugly. I pray God will find a cure for all people with bipolr. I really understand this illness and it is just so ugly that it hurts me inside to see it distroy so many good people and there families. All with broken hearts read a book called SHATTERED DREAMS BY LARRY CRABB. It will show you the right way in life. Take care and God Bless

I am on a "break" with a boyfriend that has bipolar and OCD. I have been with this guy for 2 and a half years. I am his first long term relationship. that being because most girls either find out about his OCD and leave or he gets bored. He doesn't even admit to being bipolar however, he takes Lithium when he remembers. He does not see a regular therapist. only a psych for his meds and he's a pretty good actor. tells people what he wants to hear. I have been through a mania and depression with him and had accepted him for what he was and the illnesses he had. I love him and that's what love is.. no? However, during stressful situations, he would blame me for things and always needed that "break" at which I was the one always trying to hold things together.

I am on a "break" with a boyfriend that has bipolar and OCD.I posted my story on here because someone recently told me about Bordeline PD and I have a feeling that this takes place in my situation along with other things. I have been with this guy for 2 and a half years. I am his first long term relationship... that being because most girls either find out about his OCD and leave or he gets bored. He doesn't even admit to being bipolar however, he takes Lithium when he remembers. He does not see a regular therapist... only a psych for his meds and he's a pretty good actor... tells people what he wants to hear. I have been through a mania and depression with him and had accepted him for what he was and the illnesses he had. I loved him and that's what love is.. no? However, during stressful situations, he would blame me for things and always needed that "break" at which I was the one always trying to hold things together.... I am writing to you because you also suffer from bipolar and itmight be good for me to get some insight from someone who deals with this illness.... please read my story.. thank you

To make a long story short... Bryan (my boyfriend) moved into this house with this jerky guy.. He's a 40 year old man who has a beer pong table in the house, parties like 5 nights a week to cover bands, hangs out with all 20 year olds, in a band..and addicted to myspace... Just a weird guy if you ask me... Anyways, the guy got along great with me until one night we went out and there was this girl there I was talking to... These other girls showed up and I asked the one girl if she knew them and she said yeah, that her boyfriend supposedly hooked up with one... And I said that I heard about that... THAT WAS IT I SAID... Well the girl went back and said something to her boyfriend...twisting words around saying that I said that the 40 year old roommate told me, so when Jay (the roommate) found out, he got mad at me...Bryan was just like, "who cares... it's HS.. and I told him what I said. I then said to Jay, "let me explain to you what I said to that girl" and his response to me was, "I don't want to talk about it".... So, after that incident he was rude to me everytime I went over there... Then all of a sudden I started getting text messages sent to my phone by an unknown number...and they would say things like, "your boyfriend is cheating" among other things... Well, I told bryan and he confronted the people in the house about it... And Jay got pissed off... And then after that, there has been a lot of arguing there and such... And Jay starts bad mouthing me saying things like, "she doesn't want you here so she's doing it to her self"... Stupid stuff and that he's going to sue me for deformation of character (LOL) bc I tell people I think he's sending me the texts lol So, this past weekend, bryan was supposedly late with the utility bill and Jay called him at work about it... Then told him he was irresponsible and should leave. Well...he got very very pissed off about it bc now he has to find a storage place and find a new place to live... This all happenned on Sunday... And the conversation we had was fine until that issue came up... So, I told him that I felt terrible about it and that maybe I should leave because I felt like I was ruining his life... Even though none of this is my fault... Meanwhile, the whole time these arguments between Bryan and the other roommates were going on, I was sitting at home recovering.. I never said a word about any of this to any of them But, when I mentioned to bryan about leaving,. he was like, "what is that going to accomplish".. And I was just like I don' tknow... So he said he wanted to call me later... And then I didn't hear from him all week...Now to what recently happenned:

So, on Dec 2 we met with each other around like 7:30... I pretty much laid everything out on the line..he started indirectly blaming me for what was going on in that house....Apparantly, these two girls that I met once, told Jay that I was rude to them or something and Jay told Bryan and Bryan was accusing me of being rude... Then started saying other things that this guy Jay has said about me... Then I get this one: "can we agree that sometimes you say things (because I am frank) and people take it the wrong way"... it was almost as though he was indirectly blaming me for whatever was going on. I was so shocked I was just crying... I laid everything out on the table and explained to him, "why would I have straightened everything out with that guy, why would I have told you to take the bigger room, why would I have bought you stuff for your place, why would I have tried to smooth things over with jay, if I really wanted you out of there"...OH.. that was the other thing... I tried to smooth things over with jay (40 year old).. I gave him these Journey reissue cds bc he likes them... and he gives them back to bryan right infront of me with a note that says, "Valerie, I already have these, give them to someone that would have use for them"....... Most of the time Bryan was extremely quiet... and he was sniffling the whole time... He could barely look at me and when he did, he had such sadness on his face...his eyes were full...I made a few comments to him saying, "I hope when you get another place, I could be part of it" and his response was, "I hope so too".... So, then we sat in silence for a little while...I was really bad crying... and he said, "I think we need a break"... "I need to sort through things... everything is a mess... I have to find a place to live, I have no idea what's going on, they want me out of that house asap, etc...etc.. and I just need the time to just deal with all of this because it's a big deal"...

sorry so long but it won't let me fit the whole thing..
So, I didn't argue with the break... But with that, I thought of it as a full break up and I took my stuff and started walking out... His mother gave me a key chain that says, "I love Bryan"... i took it off and gave it to him along with the sticker that said, "i love you" on my phone... and he got upset saying, "see... there has to be compromise.. you get upset and walk out... that's not what I meant"... So, I sat back down and was like, "well what does 'take a break' mean.. I never did this before" and he was like, "neither have i"... and he proceeded to say that I just need a month or something to sort through things blah blah.. I said, "well what do we do... do you want me to date other people because I do not want to do that". He shook his head... then I said, "do you want me to wait" and he shook his head yes... so I said I would think about that... And he proceeded to say that he knows that sometimes a break will make things better and stronger or something... who knows... but he said, "i will call you"... So, then I told him that I didn't bring his stuff with me and I was like, "i could drop it off at your house or hold on to it" and he was just like, "hold on to it".. he owes me money from when he was sick and he had like $500... but I told him to give me the full amount in Cash. So, on that I walked to my car.. He came up behind me and hugged me and was crying a lot.. like tears coming down... the hug was very tight.. and he just kept saying, "I will call you, you will be ok, I will call you"... and I let go and was getting in my car and he went to hug me again.... that was it... then I was pretty hysterical... But, I just don't understand any of this at all....It is all so sudden... and I really think that a lot of this has to do with the illness because i know that bryan doesn't think the same way you or I do.... So, I don't know... but I am crushed... I really want things to work.... but this month for myself I am just going to stay mellow and think about things that I want.... If it works, I think we need to put everything out there and I would need to have to have a serious talk with him about all of this....Sometimes I have a good feeling about it, but others I feel like he will never call and want to work.. He knows how much I love him... and frankly, I think if it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be where he is...and I hope he realizes all that stuff... All I could really do now is just wait and hope....So, that is the story... I am kind of just numb about everything... No, I'm not ok and I probably won't be for a while.. but I do know that when he calls I am not going to show a hint of sadness to him.... His sister said that he thinks about a future with me.... that maybe this was a blessing in disguise meaning that something worse would have happenned with the roommate later on... how could he let a two and a half relationship go over this... he probably doesn't even feel badly about it...?