I think I'm an alcoholic

I just answered questions that made my suspisions a reality. I am (or was) in a wonderful relationship with the man of my dreams, someone it took me 38 years to meet and I adore him! We had a long distance relationship (2 hour drive) for 13 months, until yesterday. The only problem we had was that if I were feeling insecure in our relationship - at no fault to him (I previously had a very bad relationship that I now realize has made me feel insecure for no reason in my current relationship). Anyhow, if we got to drinking sometimes (about once every other month) I would get mean, say nasty things to him, tell him I can't do this & say I was leaving, but I was always there when he got home from work, trying to remember what awful things I had said the night before. And until yesterday he would always let me stay...oh and he was seriously thinking of moving to where I live (had a job interview next week). I do not mean the things I say when I'm drunk, things I could never say when I am sober. The last thing I want to do is push him away, afterall I want to spend my life with him, but I kept doing it anyway! He told me after Friday nights "drunken stupor" that it's over & I'm so scared he really means it! He has not come out and said that he thinks I am an alcoholic (he drinks right along with me, but can handle his alcohol), but it is very obvious that the reason he broke up with me is because of how I sometimes act when I drink too much. Everything else is good in my life, but my 8 year old son did mention that I drink about 5 beers when I do drink...now is that a reality check. Can I save my relationship with the man of my dreams or I have completely messed it up because I can't "hold my liquor" at times. Please help!

Hello Tammy, My name is Rick from San Luis Obispo,California,your young and you will rebound from all this I'am sure. I'am 52 and have from time to time had one to many beers when I go out with friends. Then it really upsets me that sometimes I will drive home and not recall driving home at all. I have really cut back on my beer drinking and I feel much better. I have been married to a great women for 20 years. She had really been my support to help me slow down on drinking. At the age of 52, I can not drink like I did at 22 thats forsure. So hang in there Tammy, I'am sure things in your life will turnaround. Well if want to email me you can. My personal email address is:(schey1953@yahoo.com). All the best, Rick

I have a drinking problem but I don't want to admit it or stop drinking. My serious boyfriend has a similar drinking problem but wants both of us to stop. We'd promised each other not to drink for a while but within 24 hours later I drank by myself again. How do i fix this problem?

if you are sad or depressed try reading Breaking The Bonds by Dorothy Rowe, to help with alcohol try The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr. The latter helped me stop drinking i have not drunk for two and a half years. the former is really helping me now get to the bottom of my issues.

I don't know if what I had was a drinking problem or not. I recently got out of a relationship and was upset about the choice I had made. The only thing I could do to ease my pain was drink. So naturally that's what I did. I drank when I woke up, before I went into work, when I got off work, and on my days off. It got to be pretty bad. I was going through a half gallon of 100 proof vodka a week. When I didn't drink I got bad headaches and the "shakes." I stopped drinking because I saw what it was going to do to me. Vodka wasn't going to bring him back into my arms, nothing was going to.
So I sobered up and realized that I am much better off without him. Decided to look toward my future and enroll in a class at the local votech. It takes alot of will power to take negative energy and use it for something positive. Baby steps help.

Jeanie wrote:

I don't know if what I had was a drinking problem or not. I recently got out of a relationship and was upset about the choice I had made. The only thing I could do to ease my pain was drink. So naturally that's what I did. I drank when I woke up, before I went into work, when I got off work, and on my days off. It got to be pretty bad. I was going through a half gallon of 100 proof vodka a week. When I didn't drink I got bad headaches and the "shakes." I stopped drinking because I saw what it was going to do to me. Vodka wasn't going to bring him back into my arms, nothing was going to.
So I sobered up and realized that I am much better off without him. Decided to look toward my future and enroll in a class at the local votech. It takes alot of will power to take negative energy and use it for something positive. Baby steps help.

Jeanie,
It could be worse. I've been married to my husband for 17 years and have NOT wanted to be married to him for the past 13. We have 2 teenagers, full time jobs, etc. The stress of everything pushed me into a vodka bottle every day. The day before Mother's Day I was involved in an accident (no injuries, Thank God) & charged with DWI & careless driving. I am looking at losing my license for 7 months. Right now I should be ready to kill myself, but I am looking at this as a life-saving eye-opener. I am scheduled for counseling. I plan to ask my husband if we can begin divorce mediation. I am going to have to change everything in my life in order to save it.

I went to a "Healing Mass" this past Wed. and became emotional when the priest laid her hands on my head to bless me. Of course after mass she wanted to know what was the matter. I wasn't ready to share my problem with her because I was short on time (I was actually going to go to delivered the Eucharist at a nursing home - at least I'm a kind & giving alcoholic). When I told her I got a DWI she freaked on me, yelled at me like I was one of her kids. Not what I expected from a woman of the cloth. She went on to tell me that alcoholism is an extremely destructive force to families (like I didn't know that), wanted to know if I was in counseling and whether I started a 12 step program. I have an appt. with a counselor for my many life problems & just went onto the Integroup site to print out meetings in my area. Until I get to one, I've been floating around the internet for info. & support. The priest went on to tell me that her brother was an alcoholic. I am sure this is why she reacted the way she did. I don't think that I should be counselled by her because of this. What do you guys think?

First off, you are very lucky there were no injuries in your accident. A counselor will help. The priest should have reacted differently but given alcoholism has touched her family, I do see why she would have acted that way. I am, by no means, saying that she was right reacting like that, but in the same situation I would maybe have the same reaction.

Catherine, you DID admit you have a problem, which is a great place to start. Admitting it to YOU is the most important part. Changing habits like excessive drinking may be difficult, but its not impossible... especially when you have someone close to you that's supportive of your CHOICE to quit drinking.

It is all about choices... and choosing what you truly believe about your excessive drinking is the most important part. Learn to look at this (and other things in your life) rationally by writing it out... journaling it... challenging your thoughts with questions like "Is this really true?", "Where is the evidence?" and thoughtfully weighing out the positive and negatives of your choices.

Excessive drinking is a behavior.. and not something dark and unknown, although some people like to give it some sort of medical or even mystical quality. Learn to stop judging yourself and others, and learn to place values on your behaviors by looking at what they have and will bring you in life.

Start looking at your personal semantics and learn to stop labeling and damning others. Eliminate absolute terms like Must and Should. Pick up a book on rational living. Yes, putting an end to your excessive drinking may be difficult... but nothing says it will *ever* get easier. The longer you wait, the more work you'll likely have to do.

I would advise against getting involved in a group unless all else fails. Groups either tell you you're diseased or try flip your life upside down to accomodate them. You don't need to do any of that... you're not diseased: you simply are developing poor habits, have a lack of coping skills, and probably lack tolerance for frustration and discomfort. Learn to accept delays, foul-ups, gossipy people, and other things in life you cannot change.

Your mission is to stop damning yourself and the world... and start accepting life and what you control... and you control you, your beliefs about you and the world, and ultimately your own emotional health and behaviors.

Don't seek magic.. it doesn't exist in this world. Accept the past and learn to think differently about it and the people in it. Don't be 'mad at' people... but learn to simply disapprove of what they *did*. Carrying anger makes no sense... it does nothing to others and only affects *you*. Learn that forgiveness is for *you* and not for *them*. Life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean you have to be miserable.. that is your own choice.

Stop trying to please others and care so much about what they think of you. You will never be able to control them, but you can make yourself a doormat by trying.

Lastly, as you seek change it may not feel comfortable... but that's OK. Any change worth making will bring some level of discomfort to your life.

Best of luck to you.

Catherine wrote:

I have a drinking problem but I don't want to admit it or stop drinking. My serious boyfriend has a similar drinking problem but wants both of us to stop. We'd promised each other not to drink for a while but within 24 hours later I drank by myself again. How do i fix this problem?

Well I think thst you'll have a problem with drinking and the only way that you can stop is by out going out there to them stores and buying it and the only thing you can do if you want to stop.

Well I think that you should just talk to him and tell him that you want to stop drinking and that he should stop to cause that the only way that you'll will have money left. And if you'll have kids please think about them before you go out there to buy beer and liquor.

I knew I had a drinking problem when I was 20 years old, I really did not try to stop drinking at all, I was having too much fun. After almost losing my daughter, and losing great jobs, divorce and all of my Money and belongings and of course all of my family and freinds, I fianlly grew up.
i am 36 years old now and I have been sober for a year, life could not be better. I will be honest a beer and 4 shots of Jack daniels after work sound great, but I know where it will leed.I cant count how many times i have blacked out puking up Blood and going to the hospitol and
the doctors telling me I need to stop drinking. Beleive me you can stop, I never thought in my drinking career I would stop, my body was so used to the booze and I would literly go through bad tremors and delerioms without my alcohol. The reason I told my story because Tammy I know what you are going through, saying things that you dont even remember, Alcohol not only kills your body but it kills who you really are.

Admit that you have a problem, like Catherine that is a start, i hope you never have to go what i went through the disease of Alcolism hurts and is very painful, and the only cure is to stop.Believe me its very hard and painful to stop but in the long run its worth it.

I'm not going to lecture but I will give some advice. I've been drinking for years and years it's almost killed me a few times.

If you think you have a problem more than likely you do. I've done the 12 step thing and just about every other method and untila few monthes back nothing worked. make an appt to see your MD and talk to him about it. There are some amazing medications out there now that work on balancing the brain chemistry as the ETOH addiction messes with that chemistry.

I took a medicine called Campral and within days had absolutely no craving mentally. If you have a bad addiction you will have withdrawl symptoms. A drug called Serax will help that in what is called a taper.

You must be alcohol free for the Campral to work. Here is a link:

http://www.campral.com/

I've been stone cold sober for 5 monthes now and feel lots beeter about everything.

Best of luck

You are not alone, it is a disease:

http://www.youtube.com/watch...

I'm sad cause I can't stop drinking... Im loosing my good friends....and I don't know how to stop.....I'm sad, depress.... Can't talk with my mother about it... It seem like I can't have fun without a drink....Them went I stop for one day.. I feel so guilty of it!... I think I going crazy... I'm 27 years old and all I do Its drink my life off..... I need help!... and I don't know how or if its going to work.. I just want to drink normal...

There are those who belive they can come in to AA to learn how to drink like Ladies and gentlemen and soom realize that we can't . What we do learn is a new way of life .When I came to A A I couldn't image life with any more alochol nor with out it as time went on I realized that life was getting better without alchol and as I did each step I stated to change and life got better . I know now I was very sick it is a diease that you overcome provided you are willing to do the steps and I wa sscared of them but I was willing do them if not for myself but for my children but soon learned it hadd to be for me .It has to be for you

How..Please just tell me how?....I want it.. I just don't know how....I can't just said I want it and I'm going to stop tomorrow.. I wish I could...I'm deperade...

Veronica wrote:

How..Please just tell me how?....I want it.. I just don't know how....I can't just said I want it and I'm going to stop tomorrow.. I wish I could...I'm deperade...

hi
I am an alacholic with 12 yrs sober,drug free
and now face more probs. than ever before in life and remain sober because of I have not forgotton the hopeless ness there was with the booze mixed in.
that said you HAVE to say to yourself "AT ALL COST" meaning just that complete change if you know that visiting certain friends/family is going to lead to drinking ,you can longer go there and on and on it is that simple .
I did not even look at the beer aisle for yrs. I don,t do things at all like I did then .
I had someone ask me daily IF i was ready ?
ready for what? it is this that will save you.
be ready and do it it only gets worse and worse .
but it is cool it gets better and better and better also. Rick PEACE

The other day I was lit' depress...But I feel better now... Yes, I think I have lit' drinking problem, but..... I try not to get it out of control... I guess!...

V27

Veronica wrote:

The other day I was lit' depress...But I feel better now... Yes, I think I have lit' drinking problem, but..... I try not to get it out of control... I guess!...
V27

hi,
"LIT" the fact that you are questioning yourself
is a good sign that there is a prob. the bad thing is this escalates so quickly and getting back to "normal" is impossible it only gets worse .
Try coping without it. try having a sober week.
keep reaching out and asking yourself questions.
Rick