I bought blue pills from ricandgrata (eBay), cos he's the one that's mentioned the most. Got them yesterday.
Today I also got a hold of Leila (I couldn't buy from her before cos my country wasn't listed; I politely asked her to sell to me anyway and she complied) and bought a bottle of blue pills from her.
So I've bought from both sellers.
Since Leila's will take a while to get to me, I decided to start with the pills I got yesterday from eBay.
So far, I have had the some of the symptoms described, but I supposed it was to be expected, due to the ingredients, right?
My mouth is a little dry and I'm a bit fuzzy around the edges, only mildly jittery (coffee gets me a lot more jittery and headache-y than these pills anyway), ocassional hot flashes.
I took them before breakfast. Had my breakfast at the office: a small yoghurt with fiber cereal, which I love. It used to happen that whenever I ate something in the morning, I'd get the urge to eat again right after...let me explain myself: I love food because I find it a pleasure, but I'm also very anxious and I keep finding myself wanting to grab something to eat whenever something even mildly bad happens to me. For years I have not been able to explain it, I guess I find food is my comfort (yeah, I'm pathetic, I know)
It's like tiny voice inside of me ordering me to eat (plz, don't call me crazy! I have no other way of explaining myself)
For the first time, I didn't feel this. I went to have my lunch and I couldn't finish it all. Not cos I felt full, but because I felt I didn't have to.
Even that voice inside me was awfully quiet, I mean the urges were there, but not as urgent, haha. Like it ws my option for the first time.
And I didn't feel like I was forcing myself to leave any food, it sorta just happened (trust me, I *hate* when food goes to waste); I even found the salad very tempting and ate almost all of it, which never happens.
I dunno what to make of this...I haven't had a single thought about food, or grabbing a snack or going to the convenience store to buy something to eat, which is what I always do. I'm usually always feeling the urge to eat, but today, nothing.
In fact, I'm kinda scared to eat now. Who knows what the hell will happen to me if I eat an entire plate.
I think maybe I spooked myself into not eating, lol
I have a feeling that maybe this is bad for me, cos who knows what the hell drug I'm taking that's screwing with my brain like this (anybody care to explain, please?), but maybe that's the desired effect...?
Maybe this is what the pills actually do to make you lose weight, lol. Makes sense, right? My doctors always said 'eat less, drink more water and move more'. These pills have made me eat less, drink more (cos I'm super thirsty), and the seller told me I should excercise everyday for at least 45 minutes (which I started doing a month ago anyway)
So maybe these pills are a nothing but a very screwy placebo, haha Just an excuse to make you fear food, drink water and excercise 1 hour everyday.
I have had treatments in the past, but only with constant support and controls every day or week. It's clear I can't go it alone, I don't have the strength. If these pills are a placebo, then so be it. Maybe I do need crutches to run, even if I don't really need them. I need to feel like there's something backing me up. If it's pills, then I'm OK. I do hope though that I'm able to take them long enough to sorta change my attitudes towards food, so I won't need them anymore after this.
Anyhoo.....(sorry for the tl;dr part), I'll take both treatments and then we'll see what's what and if anything happens (good or bad), be it from ricandgrata's pills or Leila's pills, I'll let you know.
Guinea pig, out!