Man's insistence on not being alone with girl, 5, makes sense

Stina at Home wrote:

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SHe'll be here at 8

Actually probably around 9, it'll take me atleast an hour and a half to get there.

Flawless wrote:

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Actually probably around 9, it'll take me atleast an hour and a half to get there.

Oops - didn't think of that! I'm on the peninsula, so Gulf or Bay?:-)

Stina at Home wrote:

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Oops - didn't think of that! I'm on the peninsula, so Gulf or Bay?:-)

I'm down either way, you got a boat? I'll bring the liquor =)

:-*

Man's insistence on not being alone with girl, 5, makes sense

Wow, Amy, so you like to following in the tradition of the legendary Ann Landers. I do not believe that you gave helpless and clueless very good advice. I wonder what Ann Landers would actually say in a situation like this.

For the past couple of decades people have seen to forgotten that they were once children, that active imaginations included making things up, or hearing statements from one person and attributing them to another. Yet nowadays these young minds are also influenced by the media, which educates these young children, my young niece ( age 6) told my sister that if she wasn't allow to watch her TV show, she would tell her teacher that Mommy locks her in the closet.

The police officer involved in this is correct in being able to see the potential dangers that could be associated with an over active imagination.

His girlfriend, should respect his position and his wishes, understanding that he has far more experience in such matters than she does in this particular case. God forbid, that the child says he touched me. For a today's world Amy you are guilty until proven innocent.

false accusations can not only ruin a man's reputation, but put him in jail when he is INNOCENT. This man is a law enforcement officer and the woman giving advice claims he cannot be trusted? He's avoiding the little girl because all it takes is one false accusation and his life is over. Women don't understand that men are seen as potential sexual predators by default. Not even a law enforcement officer can escape that stereotype that all men are sexual predators and never trust a man with a child. There are no male teachers anymore because all it takes is one false accusation and you can never work again. Nor are men going to run the risk of helping a child because children are taught to fear men as potential sexual predators or murderers.

One thing I've noticed too is that it used to be only men who were suspect.

Now, it's anyone.

That's a sad commentary on society.

A friend of my family married a divorced woman with three teenage daughters. In attempting to maintain some sort of discipline in the household, he forbade the girl from drinking and partying late at night. At the time, she was about 15. She has "issues" of an emotional nature, and was angered that he dared to try and tell her how she was going to behave. In her fury, she accused him of molesting her.

He's innocent. The mother of the girl also protested his innocence. There is NO evidence. Just her word. Yet, today he sits in Oregon State Penitentiary. On the word of this horrible young woman.

I'm afraid Amy has been a little too blatant in her misandry. For those of you unfamiliar with the word, it means HATRED of men. It's seems to be quite fashionable these days.

And they wonder why men are refusing to get married, or be alone with either women or children......

SAY wrote:

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My thoughts exactly. I mean, she had me until she got to that part. Then i was like, woah...her daughter is 10 not 5, she knows a lot more than we all give kids credit for, if she says her stepdad likes to peek at her when she's changing, then some actions need to be taken. Not for nothing, if this man is not the father of your kid/kids, and you know how the world has changed and how messed up everything is...especially with stepdad's..why would she as a woman allow her 10 year old daughter to be naked in a room with her door wide open in an area of the house where there's a lot of traffic? i mean, let's get serious here....talk about begging for something bad to happen. i'm not saying he's not a good guy or anything. but let's try to avoid as many situations as we can...and let's try to take better care of our kids....i pray for her daughter's well-being.

You're right of course. She should have her daughter wear a burka from now on. Maybe this girl is old enough already to be permanently hidden from view and all subsequent temptation. I mean, her mom even said she is referred to as hot!

Amy's advice here is so horrible that papers carrying her column should seriously consider dropping her. Amy is either completely clueless about modern society or she is a misandrist. Either way she should not be appearing in print and any publication carrying her is suspect.

I suggest instead that the publications carry Amy Alkon who does not have blinders on about what is going on in the world today.

Judie wrote:

The man who said he no longer wanted to be alone with his girlfriend's 5-year-old niece is right. He is making sure to avoid even the appearance of anything improper. He has everything to lose should someday in the near or distant future an accusation is made and people recall him being alone with her. This is no reflection on the girl, but just a sad reality of life today.

And kids lie routinely, they are not aware of the consequences of lying, and often do not understand the difference between truth and lies. Anyone who allows themselves to be alone with someone else's child is putting themselves at risk. It is even risky for single parents. We are all one false allegation away from a lifetime of grief, court appearances,prison, sex offender registries etc. It happens all the time ant there is really no way to exonerate yourself after such an accusation.

Sarah wrote:

I disagree with Amy.
I wouldn't want to be left in the room with that kid either. Who knows what she might say next?
I agree with the officer. He's trying to avoid another "situation" with that kid.

As a police officer he sees first hand how often false allegations are made, and that kids really do lie. It was only in the last few years they accept a child's word as the truth... up until recently a child's word was never relied on and was inadmissible in court because kids statements are unreliable. The officer knows the only way to protect himself is not to be alone with a child, it jut isn't safe.

Let's not be too hard on Amy; we all make mistakes. At least we have this place to discuss the mistakes.

Even so, it would be nice if Amy admitted the mistake in her column. Other columnists do.

Hmmmm, while I agree that the officer should never be alone with a lying child -- I can't quite go to the extreme of people here. See, I was one of those kids. I didnt' lie but my father did. It was before anyone was prosecuted for such a thing or that you HAD to tell (he told the psychiatrist that he did do it but didn't see anything wrong -- let's not go there). I was told as soon as I graduated high school I had to leave b/c he probably would continue to do it. They were right, of course. So move I did, the day after graduation. I'm fine. I've forgiven my mother for choosing her husband over me b/c she didn't know how to handle it, but believe me -- adults lie, children lie. It's a difficult situation. You should know your kid, though. If it's a dicey situation and you only have that one indication and no sign from the adult, it would be easy to keep them never alone together -- I mean mean NEVER.

Flawless wrote:

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I'm down either way, you got a boat? I'll bring the liquor =)
:-*

D'OH! Let the ex have the boat!

Stina at Home wrote:

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D'OH! Let the ex have the boat!

Darn, guess we'll just have to get nakie on the dock

;)

All the officer has to do is take grape kool-aid and mix in some valium liquid.... oops. Yah that kid is a big fat liar. That kid should be taken to court for mentally abusing that officer and destroying his relationship. Now the officer is going to be depressed all because of the 5 year old. Any how if you give the kid a cookie officer the child might not tell.

The BF is smart. It only takes one warped kid, with parents just as warped to totally change a life. Play with the child as long as someone else is around, but in no way would I put myself in a position to be falsely accused again.

Shave my coin purse wrote:

All the officer has to do is take grape kool-aid and mix in some valium liquid.... oops. Yah that kid is a big fat liar. That kid should be taken to court for mentally abusing that officer and destroying his relationship. Now the officer is going to be depressed all because of the 5 year old. Any how if you give the kid a cookie officer the child might not tell.

Are you being saastic or are you ralking from experience?

state RN wrote:

<quoted text> Are you being saastic or are you ralking from experience?

Wow Is this what RNs are being taught as far as spelling? I would love to be that attorney with one of your chart projected up on the screen for the jury to see. I admire your spelling skills. Now after this posting in response to yours I don't think it would be that hard to figure out.
But if you need it spelled out for you. It was nothing but humorous poke at the fact that everybody is a victim as long as they let themselves be. Oh and by the way, please do the public a favor. If you are a RN please give the state back your liscense. I would hate to have someone like you working alongside of me, particularly if you are as inept in your job as you are in the spelling. From one Nurse to another.

Shave my coin purse wrote:

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Wow Is this what RNs are being taught as far as spelling? I would love to be that attorney with one of your chart projected up on the screen for the jury to see. I admire your spelling skills. Now after this posting in response to yours I don't think it would be that hard to figure out.
But if you need it spelled out for you. It was nothing but humorous poke at the fact that everybody is a victim as long as they let themselves be. Oh and by the way, please do the public a favor. If you are a RN please give the state back your liscense. I would hate to have someone like you working alongside of me, particularly if you are as inept in your job as you are in the spelling. From one Nurse to another.

Not the first time Iv'e heard that one. So it doesn't bother me. If you can't tell a typo from bad spelling then to bad. Like I asked, was it sarcasm or experience? On these forums you never know. And yes, you only become a victim if you allow yourself to be. So this guy is right not to be alone with the child, so as not to become a victim. Iv'e been a nursing for many years, never been sued and never have made any med errors. By the way for a nurse your sarcasm is scary. To find humor in drugging a child to take advantage of them is a lot scarier than my typo.