Terri Hatcher Molested As A Child In Sunnyvale

snowdrop wrote:

<quoted text>
so you cannot work it out either jo x

hi, sorry 'privates', i've just scanned back and there is 'private' in Canada and 'private' in Chicago. and we're not dunces, Jo, because we have all discussed how the places assigned to our names do not necessarily reflect exactly where we are. It is why I add Cape Town, because I'm not from Parow, and never want to be!!!! Sorry, Parowsians!

and how are you 'Private'- I see some great people here saying great things so you are 'virtually' safe for now. As many say, keep talking, i.e. keep posting, telling us where you are and who you are talking to in your day to day life. share with us exactly what's being said to you and if you are confused, throw it into the forum and we'll all try to make some sense of it all.
You are always best contacting real people nearby in the case of physical trauma so that you are physically safe. Keep a record of drugs that you are given or prescribed. don't rely only on the internet. Chemists are always good t chat to over the counter - can save yu the cost of a trip to the doctor. After that....we are here. Don't do anything quickly.

nor in anger.
Here's where you can process that.

{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

white venus - Cape Town wrote:

<quoted text>
hi, sorry 'privates', i've just scanned back and there is 'private' in Canada and 'private' in Chicago. and we're not dunces, Jo, because we have all discussed how the places assigned to our names do not necessarily reflect exactly where we are. It is why I add Cape Town, because I'm not from Parow, and never want to be!!!! Sorry, Parowsians!

oh good so we have that one sorted! jo x

sorry about that mix up with our names. i have been posting scince the first day and i am the same one from chicago, homewood, and lombard. Well me now.... it has been almost 2 months since to told my boyfriend and he told my parents who confronted my brother. OF course, my brother denise it all. Of course my parent say the "arent taking sides". WHy would i lie about this? But i have to move on ya know? Im only 13 and i can not dwell on this my whole life. Im not saying im ready to forgive him, i have barely talked to him, but i am trying to concentrate on other things. The worst part is feeling like its my fault. I should have done something earlier and i feel stupid now. So i really do appriciate all your help. Without you, i never would have told anyone.

Carmen wrote:

I was sexually molested by my brother as a child. I am now married, but have not told my husband because I am afraid and ashamed. My brother is now married is a firefighter and has a nine month old son. I confronted him and asked him why he molested me...I have been f'd up for a long time because of this. He says he "kind of remembers, but what do you want me to do about it now." I think that is such BS. I'm sure he hasn't told his wife or anyone else for that matter. I hate my brother for this...how can he pretend to have a perfect lift now and everythings fine. I'm not fine, I have thought about suicide before. I don't want to be ashamed any longer or feel like I need to hide this. I'm really glad that Teri came forward... I'm thinking I want to tell someone now. Also, my mother knew for sure about the molestations...but denies it, I feel out of guilt. I feel like by not telling, that my loser brother is in control. I need help.

?Carmen, as someone in a similar situation, i urge you to get the help you are saying you need. there is no reason for you to cover up what is actually HIS shame and your mothers shame. you have done nothing to deserve the feeling of shame and hatred that you harbor. if he denys it, it doesn't mean it didn't happen. sometimes, just talking to someone who believes you can make a huge difference. i understand and feel your pain...please, for your sake, please get some professional help to confront this issue and move past it before it destroys your life. i am "lucky" in that my brother has acknowleged what he did and has fallen all over himself to try to make up for it. he is a different person today than when it all happened years ago. we are great friends now, but that could have been different, had things gone different....please get help...you have things that are way too large to handle alone inside your head....i will respond if you want to talk....

to all the people on this site that have suffered.... i was abused by a brother, stepdad, and others thru out my life...i am using this forum to ask that you all please find some professional help for yourselves... also, some states allow for different statute of limitations on prosecuting these monsters. i urge every one of you to find out the laws in your state, and if it is possible, have the offenders arrested and prosecuted... i know that doesn't change anything that happened, but it will put the power and control back in your hands, where you can be in control of your destiny. if nothing else, as before, i urge you to find a good friend, or a mental health professional to help you understand your emotions in relation to this issue in your life...those of you who are considering suicide or otherwise injuring yourself to cope...if you give in to that urge, you are letting these monsters rent space in your head that they do not deserve. do not give up on yourself, you have to reach out for the help that is out there for you.......PLEASE.....do this for yourself and all others like you...you can take your knowledge then and try to help other people who are going thru the same thing....that is what i try to do when the opportunity arises...i am not embarrassed or ashamed of what happened to me in my life...i am wiser for it and hope to help others with what i know now.....god bless you all

private in illinois wrote:

sorry about that mix up with our names. i have been posting scince the first day and i am the same one from chicago, homewood, and lombard. Well me now.... it has been almost 2 months since to told my boyfriend and he told my parents who confronted my brother. OF course, my brother denise it all. Of course my parent say the "arent taking sides". WHy would i lie about this? But i have to move on ya know? Im only 13 and i can not dwell on this my whole life. Im not saying im ready to forgive him, i have barely talked to him, but i am trying to concentrate on other things. The worst part is feeling like its my fault. I should have done something earlier and i feel stupid now. So i really do appriciate all your help. Without you, i never would have told anyone.

My friend across the road [in her early 40's] told me a while back that her brother had abused her when she was little. She hadn't seen him in 16 years and as far as she was concerned, that was thend of it. A few days ago, she told me, he just turned up at her doorstep. I exitedly asked her what happened. she said:'we just fell into each other's arms, and that was it. Im sure I'll see a lot more of him now'.
I also didn't expect that to happen!
It is just so hard to sometimes have to wait a very very long time for the 'landscape' to change.

ta2d2at wrote:

to all the people on this site that have suffered.... i was abused by a brother, stepdad, and others thru out my life...i am using this forum to ask that you all please find some professional help for yourselves... also, some states allow for different statute of limitations on prosecuting these monsters. i urge every one of you to find out the laws in your state, and if it is possible, have the offenders arrested and prosecuted... i know that doesn't change anything that happened, but it will put the power and control back in your hands, where you can be in control of your destiny. if nothing else, as before, i urge you to find a good friend, or a mental health professional to help you understand your emotions in relation to this issue in your life...those of you who are considering suicide or otherwise injuring yourself to cope...if you give in to that urge, you are letting these monsters rent space in your head that they do not deserve. do not give up on yourself, you have to reach out for the help that is out there for you.......PLEASE.....do this for yourself and all others like you...you can take your knowledge then and try to help other people who are going thru the same thing....that is what i try to do when the opportunity arises...i am not embarrassed or ashamed of what happened to me in my life...i am wiser for it and hope to help others with what i know now.....god bless you all

What you have posted is valuable.
Please, would you copy and paste your last two posts into the >>>SAFETY ZONE<<< thread we have started. Hopefully more will get to pick up your spot on advice. If not, may I with your permission?

bless you too!!

I was molested by a few people in my childhood, as well as my stepfather of seven years who molested, beat, and emotionally abused me. Then I married a man who turned out to be similar. I am now single (have been for years because I can't work up the nerve to try). I hate people and I hate men especially. I live with my brother who was also abused alongside me when we were very young by a live-in Mormon family who are still missionaries that travel the world because the church promoted them and denied us when they were told the truth. I am beginning to hate my brother as well, because he is just like every man - selfish, a butthole, and well, just a man. He's never done anything sexual to me nor me to him, but people think we are married all the time (probably because we went through so much together). Anyway, I'm frequently suicidal and sometimes I feel homicidal. I'm very angry. I've tried years of counseling but I'm still bitter and hateful. I don't know. Just thought I'd reach out, too.

Amy wrote:

I was molested by a few people in my childhood, as well as my stepfather of seven years who molested, beat, and emotionally abused me. Then I married a man who turned out to be similar. I am now single (have been for years because I can't work up the nerve to try). I hate people and I hate men especially. I live with my brother who was also abused alongside me when we were very young by a live-in Mormon family who are still missionaries that travel the world because the church promoted them and denied us when they were told the truth. I am beginning to hate my brother as well, because he is just like every man - selfish, a butthole, and well, just a man. He's never done anything sexual to me nor me to him, but people think we are married all the time (probably because we went through so much together). Anyway, I'm frequently suicidal and sometimes I feel homicidal. I'm very angry. I've tried years of counseling but I'm still bitter and hateful. I don't know. Just thought I'd reach out, too.

oh those f..k..g ba...ds i too hate men and people its odd it must be a trait that women who have be abused have! I beg you to go see a Dr and seek help! whatever you do don't take anyones life ok [please]!! You sound like you have had a real crappy start in life and i really feel for you BUT taking your own life is not the answer. There are plenty of support groups out there GO FIND ONE. but if you just want to chat on the forum that too is great you will i'm sure find it helpful! they are a nice bunch GOOD LUCK and take care of yourself! jo x[right i can actually leave the forum now bye guys x

not all men are monsters. Maybe the few in your life but go to a good church or something. I know a lot of good men who would never do that.

private wrote:

not all men are monsters. Maybe the few in your life but go to a good church or something. I know a lot of good men who would never do that.

it is a 'crying shame' that there are men that show an example that is so foreign to all the good men.
And that there are lovely ones like Jo and many of us who unfortunately come up against the wrong ones, time and time again.
Maybe over a whole life-time the figure evens out for all.

So, >>>JO<<<, and others who have had similar experience, you may have the rest of your life to meet the good ones!!!!!!!!!!
You just haven't met them yet.

I don't have any pity for you having to learn patience, because I have spent a half century learning the fine art of patience [Aries challenged] which I am only JUST getting the hang of. Maybe.

It's not about how you fall but about how you pick yourself up again.

private wrote:

not all men are monsters. Maybe the few in your life but go to a good church or something. I know a lot of good men who would never do that.

MOST men would never do that.

white venus - Cape Town wrote:

<quoted text>
What you have posted is valuable.
Please, would you copy and paste your last two posts into the >>>SAFETY ZONE<<< thread we have started. Hopefully more will get to pick up your spot on advice. If not, may I with your permission?
bless you too!!

white venus...please, by all means, copy my posts to wherever you think they may help others. that is what they are for...i am so thankful for my sanity at this point in my life and my way of repaying god for that is to share my story and my experience with whoever may need it...if one person is helped in any way by my words...i am again grateful and blessed....please tell me how to get to your safety thread..i can't find it and would be very interested in joining the thread....thank you very much for your kindness...

white venus, i found the thread, am posting my comments now....hope someone can find a way thru the dark....

ta2d2at wrote:

white venus, i found the thread, am posting my comments now....hope someone can find a way thru the dark....

thank-you thank-you - I saw it there.

Bless you!!!

white venus - Cape Town wrote:

<quoted text> thank-you thank-you - I saw it there.
Bless you!!!

anytime sweetheart...you sound like a very caring person...i hope alot of people find their way to the "safety" thread...we can offer an e-shoulder to those willing to take it...

ta2d2at wrote:

<quoted text>anytime sweetheart...you sound like a very caring person...i hope alot of people find their way to the "safety" thread...we can offer an e-shoulder to those willing to take it...

yes.
i've just been there and you'll notice a small slip of my mind. That is why that thred is important because we can centralise a lot of the information and guidance. I am most interested in the way people are communicating with each other and also knowing that it takes small little steps with ones you trust. and I think this medium offers us something more than you get face to face. I just want to have a space where people can go in without their hearts feeling scared given the amount of abuse that flies around so willy nilly.

And it is great to have others that "care" too, as you say.
I have an awful feeling that Joanna [UK] finally acted upon her intention to be successful the 9nth time in getting the hell off planet earth. I hope that perhaps she may still be checking the posts without entering. Hoping she may be taking a break and just being still. Hoping we'll hear from her. I've often wondered if it is a possibility that our 'spirits' still hang around after death, would we be able to look over people's shoulders and see what they're posting?

white venus - Cape Town wrote:

<quoted text>
yes.
i've just been there and you'll notice a small slip of my mind. That is why that thred is important because we can centralise a lot of the information and guidance. I am most interested in the way people are communicating with each other and also knowing that it takes small little steps with ones you trust. and I think this medium offers us something more than you get face to face. I just want to have a space where people can go in without their hearts feeling scared given the amount of abuse that flies around so willy nilly.
And it is great to have others that "care" too, as you say.
I have an awful feeling that Joanna [UK] finally acted upon her intention to be successful the 9nth time in getting the hell off planet earth. I hope that perhaps she may still be checking the posts without entering. Hoping she may be taking a break and just being still. Hoping we'll hear from her. I've often wondered if it is a possibility that our 'spirits' still hang around after death, would we be able to look over people's shoulders and see what they're posting?

from my experience, i do believe that peoples spirits are still with us after they are gone, several very long stories to back up my thoughts, won't try to tell them here, but they are undeniable to anyone who hears them....i hope jo will post and let us know she is there, i am worried about her....all my best wishes and prayers going out for her safety....