WNC sees unease over corporal punishment

[State law does not hold educators liable for using "resonable force" to control or discipline students] Let a parent try this at home and see how fast the parents a-- is in a sling.

Yea, and that is wrong.

Even if they beat a childs ass blue, hopefully they will learn discipline and not end up being one of the statistics that makes our country number one in imprisoning our own people.

Bust their ass at a young age, might save them from a fate much worse.

Skidoo wrote:

Yea, and that is wrong.
Even if they beat a childs ass blue, hopefully they will learn discipline and not end up being one of the statistics that makes our country number one in imprisoning our own people.
Bust their ass at a young age, might save them from a fate much worse.

That's what I'm asayin. This time-out shite just don't cut it.

This kid was already in the Alternative School. Usually they are in there because their behavior is too disruptive for them to be in the regular school. Sounds like the mother should have been applying steady pressure to the backside a long time ago.

Teaching children that violence is a problem solving tool, or training the wife beaters of tomorrow, is that brilliant, or what?
Our family policy has always been that if you hit one of my children/grandchildren, I will treat you in kind. If you hit with a board, so will I.
The principal of Marion Elementary school threatened to paddle ( hit him with a board) my asthmatic grandson for coughing in class, but they wouldn‘t let him have his inhaler in class. My Grandson came home and told his father. His father tried to reason with the principal but last year the policy in McDowell county was still, that they would paddle first and inform the parent later, even if the parents objects to corporal punishment. She told my son that she would paddle my grandson the next time he coughed in class. This was her decision alone to make, and my son could not usurp her power to do so. My son then reiterated our long standing family policy to the emotionally high strung and completely unreasonable principal. She again threatened my grandson with her brand of state sponsored physical abuse, she was under the allusion that she had 24 hour protection from the repercussions of her actions. My son opted to immediately remove my grandson from Marion elementary and away from the influence of Neanderthals, and their stone-age thinking, because you can’t fix stupid.
My Grandson now lives with his mother on school days in an adjoining county where he has had minimum discipline problems and has made straight A’s all year. I would recommend the change to all concerned parents of children who attend Marion Elementary school. Bad ( high strung) teachers should not be allowed to take there emotional frustrations out on the students, with a board.

Skip Roth wrote:

Teaching children that violence is a problem solving tool, or training the wife beaters of tomorrow, is that brilliant, or what?
Our family policy has always been that if you hit one of my children/grandchildren, I will treat you in kind. If you hit with a board, so will I.
The principal of Marion Elementary school threatened to paddle ( hit him with a board) my asthmatic grandson for coughing in class, but they wouldn‘t let him have his inhaler in class. My Grandson came home and told his father. His father tried to reason with the principal but last year the policy in McDowell county was still, that they would paddle first and inform the parent later, even if the parents objects to corporal punishment. She told my son that she would paddle my grandson the next time he coughed in class. This was her decision alone to make, and my son could not usurp her power to do so. My son then reiterated our long standing family policy to the emotionally high strung and completely unreasonable principal. She again threatened my grandson with her brand of state sponsored physical abuse, she was under the allusion that she had 24 hour protection from the repercussions of her actions. My son opted to immediately remove my grandson from Marion elementary and away from the influence of Neanderthals, and their stone-age thinking, because you can’t fix stupid.
My Grandson now lives with his mother on school days in an adjoining county where he has had minimum discipline problems and has made straight A’s all year. I would recommend the change to all concerned parents of children who attend Marion Elementary school. Bad ( high strung) teachers should not be allowed to take there emotional frustrations out on the students, with a board.

Skip Roth I think yours is a case of a Sorry School.. My kid's school has the policy for corporal punishment as last result and only with parental permission and 24 hr notice.(My kids know if they screw up at school to expect worse at home!) The child cannot help his medical condition. Make sure he/she does not put on an act.
I have always taught my kids they are not someone elses rug. You don't start a fight but you will end it. Let the school punish my kid for sticking up for themselves and they meet the Redneck's Wife!
I have always disciplinmed mine by a paddling or other punishment as warrented by the infraction (loss of computor or phone at 13 and 14 is more effective than a paddling at 3). And they are well adjusted adults who respect others and authority, because they know there are rules for a reason. The key is to set the guidelines early and be consistent.

When my kid was in school, from kindergarten all the way through high school, I met with her teachers all the way through every year, at least once.

I told every single one of them the same thing, including high school teachers.

If she needs her butt busted, you can do it or call me to come do it in front of the class and I will do it--no questions asked...

I was blessed with a high school, soon to be college graduate, that graduated with high honors--and never did a single teacher have to call me or she came home with a "warm rear end"..

old saying "spare the rod, spoil the child". starts at home, but if there's no parents who care what the little hellion does, then to keep order in school,the teachers must do what is necessary. Just look at the asheville school system without corporal punishment and to some degree the county system. Let the students know they're there to learn and not be disruptive hellions to our society. but again this is asheville "any way you want it"

I am absolutely floored that paddling is still legal here. I have often told my children, "You know, when I was in school, teachers were allowed to paddle, but of course that is not legal anymore." If I, as an adult, hit another adult on the butt with a big stick, I would either be charged with sexual harrassment or assault. However, it is perfectly okay for me to hit someone who is 1/4 my size. It makes NO sense. On top of its abusiveness lies its innefectiveness. Lots of children who behave while you are looking because they are AFRAID of you will do as they please when you leave the room or turn around. Children must develop internal controls, and they need adults to help them do that. Getting angry and hitting a child is not a good example of internal control. I highly recommend Dr. Sears' The Discipline Book - especially the chapter on 10 reasons not to spank your child. Even in the Old Testament - the rod was used to GUIDE the sheep, not BEAT them. That is so RUDE to assume that just because you don't hit your children, you let them do whatever they want! GROW UP! You sound like a five year old.

First, I want to say that in my generation, we were raised with the paddle in school. Now, I don't remember any episodes where there were bruises left, but the paddling episode for many left it's understanding of what we had done wrong. The paddling, as referenced by someone else here - teaching that violence is okay? I don't see that at all....if that were true, you would see a high percentage of people who were paddled that were now wife beaters or some other types of criminals. The problem now is, both in school but mostly at home, children are no longer disciplined. If they do not learn early that there are rules to follow, then the judicial system will teach them that later. What's next...parents trying to stop criminals from being put in jail? Same difference.

Kristin Harling wrote:

I am absolutely floored that paddling is still legal here. I have often told my children, "You know, when I was in school, teachers were allowed to paddle, but of course that is not legal anymore." If I, as an adult, hit another adult on the butt with a big stick, I would either be charged with sexual harrassment or assault. However, it is perfectly okay for me to hit someone who is 1/4 my size. It makes NO sense. On top of its abusiveness lies its innefectiveness. Lots of children who behave while you are looking because they are AFRAID of you will do as they please when you leave the room or turn around. Children must develop internal controls, and they need adults to help them do that. Getting angry and hitting a child is not a good example of internal control. I highly recommend Dr. Sears' The Discipline Book - especially the chapter on 10 reasons not to spank your child. Even in the Old Testament - the rod was used to GUIDE the sheep, not BEAT them. That is so RUDE to assume that just because you don't hit your children, you let them do whatever they want! GROW UP! You sound like a five year old.

Are you one of the little darling parents who uses timeout or uses Hell-mart as your babysitter on Saturdays? If you are, you arent doing such a good job yourself.

NO child deserves to be beaten. A good swat on the hindend for a major infraction never hurt a soul. It makes one an abuser? I dont think so. It makes one learn respect the old fashioned hard way by learning pain for bad behavior.

Also, let me add that I also do believe that the paddlings do need to be monitored. There is the great chance that some poor at their wits end teacher could go too far with the punishment...which is another problem.

Amen!!

Dunnin wrote:

<quoted text>
Are you one of the little darling parents who uses timeout or uses Hell-mart as your babysitter on Saturdays? If you are, you arent doing such a good job yourself.
NO child deserves to be beaten. A good swat on the hindend for a major infraction never hurt a soul. It makes one an abuser? I dont think so. It makes one learn respect the old fashioned hard way by learning pain for bad behavior.

Children know what they did wrong whether you hit them or not. Do you really think that a child calls another child stupid and doesn't know that is wrong until someone hits him on the butt with a stick? Contrary to popular belief, children are not stupid. Paddling and spanking do teach that violence is okay. A child believes that the adults around him are all-knowing. They are the law. If it is ok for the mighty and powerful adults to hit me, then it must be ok for me to hit my little sister. After all, she is being BAD! My favorite is seeing parents at the park hit their kid while saying it is not okay to hit. It is absurd. Just suppose there was a way to discipline children without hitting them; would you be open to it? Children can be disciplined without violence. BTW, a lot of children who are spanked and paddled do end up involved in crime. Do you really think the jails and youth detention centers are filled with children who HAVEN'T ever been hit before? Do you think wife beaters were not hit as children? Do all spanked children turn into wife (or husband ;-) beaters? I certainly didn't, but my mother said she wished she hadn't spanked because my brother was going to do what he wanted to anyway, and it wasn't necessary with me because you could look at me cross-eyed and I'd cry. Even if they don't all turn into criminals, it doesn't make it right to hit a child. They are not born knowing your rules, and you usually have to tell them more than once, but I wouldn't get anywhere with you by hitting you, and it is an illusion to think that is why your children don't misbehave. If they understand right and wrong, it is because you did something else, not because you hit them.
BTW, jail is much more like time-out than paddling, so I don't think many of us who disagree with spanking and paddling will be recommending allowing child molestors to walk the streets. PLEASE!

Skip Roth wrote:

Teaching children that violence is a problem solving tool, or training the wife beaters of tomorrow, is that brilliant, or what?
Our family policy has always been that if you hit one of my children/grandchildren, I will treat you in kind. If you hit with a board, so will I.

There seems to be a contradiction in what you are stating. If this was satire I failed to pick up on it. So if your daughter in law smacks your son, does he smack her back? After all its family policy. Doesn't that teach your grandson to hit women? Its certainly not turn the other cheek policy.

Dunnin wrote:

<quoted text>
Are you one of the little darling parents who uses timeout or uses Hell-mart as your babysitter on Saturdays? If you are, you arent doing such a good job yourself.
NO child deserves to be beaten. A good swat on the hindend for a major infraction never hurt a soul. It makes one an abuser? I dont think so. It makes one learn respect the old fashioned hard way by learning pain for bad behavior.

No, I actually don't use time-out either, and I would rather walk barefoot in the snow than go to Hell-mart. In addition, I don't think I am a perfect parent. However, I have never hit my kids, and other adults usually think they are well behaved. I understand there is a difference between abuse and spanking, but I do think spanking is abusive. I don't believe physical pain is a good teacher for behavioral infractions. I don't think fear is a good teacher for anything. I am just sick and tired of people assuming that you're some kind of neglectful waistoid freak and that your children are wild hellions if you don't spank your kids.

Sorry to bust your bubble, but most are!!!

Bust their butts and they won't do that again.

Tell them NO NO NO, and they will laugh at authority and do as they damn well please.

The problems in our schools are related to the fact that authority has no authority, and there are few consequences to bad behavior.

I don't remember any "talks" I got in school, but I remember getting my butt busted, and I'm a better person today from those lessons.

Jim wrote:

When my kid was in school, from kindergarten all the way through high school, I met with her teachers all the way through every year, at least once.
I told every single one of them the same thing, including high school teachers.
If she needs her butt busted, you can do it or call me to come do it in front of the class and I will do it--no questions asked...
I was blessed with a high school, soon to be college graduate, that graduated with high honors--and never did a single teacher have to call me or she came home with a "warm rear end"..

Way to go Dad! I did too, and my kids believe me!

Kristin Harling wrote:

<quoted text>
No, I actually don't use time-out either, and I would rather walk barefoot in the snow than go to Hell-mart. In addition, I don't think I am a perfect parent. However, I have never hit my kids, and other adults usually think they are well behaved. I understand there is a difference between abuse and spanking, but I do think spanking is abusive. I don't believe physical pain is a good teacher for behavioral infractions. I don't think fear is a good teacher for anything. I am just sick and tired of people assuming that you're some kind of neglectful waistoid freak and that your children are wild hellions if you don't spank your kids.

I grew up during the period where paddeling was common place in school. For my first few years I was in publice school and the principal Dr. Teague paddeled me at least once sometimes twice a day. Personally I don't think I was such a bad kid. It just turned out I had a chemical imbalance. I think all options should be explored before resorting to beating a child. However I do think corporal punishment does have its place.

Just a couple of examples of different ways to manage child rearing.

First my father was the one that paddeled me when it was needed. He did it rarely and stopped entirely about age seven. I learned not to repeat the infraction a second time due to his measures.

Second there was the allow the child to learn the error of his ways on his own. We were moving into a new house that was still under construction. My father had a fire going in the driveway, burning off rubish. For whatever reason a metal curtain rod was laying in the fire. I was young, but not stupid. I went over and grabbed the end that was sticking out of the fire. I ended up with blisters and a nasty burn on my hands for my mistake. My father had watched me do it and after looking at my hands told me that I would never do that again.

That is the kind of ridiculous passive parenting I have come to expect from these touchy feely parents.

A stern no, a swat to the behind, and it might save the child a greater pain in the near future.