My introduction

Dreamy Life wrote:

Hi Big Pauly- been awhile... I feel awful and in a lot of pain. I basically had to be rush to the hospital because I couldn't move. It hurt that they moved me on to the stretcher. They gave me more meds but I have not taken any. I want to see if I can hold off on this. Right now, I am laying here can't move because movement hurts. Even the slightest.

PainM- I do understand what you are saying about having compassionate for myself. And thank you for your kind comments.

I am in tears right now. Things like this set me back. Living with the current pain wasn't easy but this takes the cake.
Not sure what I need to do. I just can't move.

Don't make your self suffer with all that pain...

CPP is a joke..quit lying to yourselves, you act like such martyrs and like noone will ever know your pain, grow up already. i'm not saying there is never a need for rx pain meds, however, many individuals go their entire lives with the same condition you "CPP's" act like you need ridiculously strong oxy's for, it's unnecessary the sooner you realize this the sooner you will recover and put it behind you.

i know several people who while under the spell of pain meds believed the same thing, their mind had them believing the pain was unbearable and that the meds where the only way to survive. once off the meds they realized that most of the pain was mental and all that is needed is a healthy core strengthening program and proper physical therapy

*conditions

Mesohigh- I can respect your opinion and I will leave it at that. However, I urge you to at least read the whole thread before you say what you've just said. I had not and will never use my pain as an excuse to use anything. But of I do use, I wl not need o hide it or make excuses for it. But again. Please go and read my thread from te beginning before you cast your stones.

Thank you Big Pauly, for your friendship and understanding on here. I am glad that you can see that I am honest about what I say and my journey on here. Right now, I am working through the pain without having to use. Kinda feel foolish and a sense of 'pride' at the same time.:)

Big Pauly- I forgot to ask how you are doing eith everything... The meds and all.

No, I don't think your weak. You're probably just not ready. You know we all go at our own pace. And I think with this you have to be ready otherwise you would relapse. I think that's with anyone who isn't ready.:)

Btw, good morning. And boy is it a chilling morning!

Big pauly the great wrote:

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Oh I wish o could say I am doing better! But the fact is that I am getting worst now I am raking 4 norcos a day! Idk how I got to this point but I wanted to take only 2 norcos every 2 days but I failed at that., I am weak.

Big P,
NO, you are NOT weak ! You are jst human ! Very few pp can stop using on their own. Otherwise more pp would do it, right ?! I was jst commenting elsewhere, that the hardest fights are within our own self ! Flip-side of that is that personal victories should be the most celebrated ! It doesnt matter how many times you try/quit, but that you DO try/quit. So keep on yr path. Its yr journey, not anyone else's. No rules, but the ones you set fr yrslf. Keep at it. This is not a game, its your LIFE ! Maybe try shorter goals ? Ex."Im going to stay clean - today", or "this hour". I admire that you try, its alot more than many can say. Plus, you're honest about it. Weak - no, that you are NOT.

Hi PainM- how are you doing? How are the subs treating you?

The anti-inflammatory is really help me. Thst along with Advil and of course Advil PM. It's weird but Advil pm when taking like 3 I felt like I had a 'high'. Very strange.

Big pauly the great wrote:

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I'm actually doing the tapering method now! Well see how it works.

You CAN do it Big , keep at it !

Dreamy Life wrote:

Hi PainM- how are you doing? How are the subs treating you?
The anti-inflammatory is really help me. Thst along with Advil and of course Advil PM. It's weird but Advil pm when taking like 3 I felt like I had a 'high'. Very strange.

Only takin half 2 mg dly @ present. Monday gonna drop to 1/4. So far, only a little nausea. Not bad, but know Im going way fast fr sub's so could bite me in the butt anyday ! Lol !
Bad news frm test on Wed. "Significant" nerve damage with muscle wasteing & atrophy to both hands, forearms, legs, feet , low back, & posterior pelvis. No less than 3 surgeries. Plus not sure where damage originating. Im pretty down about it all.

Big P- good Luck!!! You can do it! Can't wait to hear how successful you are.:)

PainM- it sounds like the conversation I had with my neurologist this past week! Only she used the words, "extreme" nerve damage. I am actually lOoking at options now. Surgery being one of them. Not good. Well, I hope you feel better for sure. I'm still trying to hang in there as well.

I am also back in therapy.

Dreamy Life wrote:

Big P- good Luck!!! You can do it! Can't wait to hear how successful you are.:)
PainM- it sounds like the conversation I had with my neurologist this past week! Only she used the words, "extreme" nerve damage. I am actually lOoking at options now. Surgery being one of them. Not good. Well, I hope you feel better for sure. I'm still trying to hang in there as well.
I am also back in therapy.

Dreamy
What kind of surgery , and what type therapy ? Jst curious. I have been with a PM therapist since 2002. She is sooo awesome. It's where & how I learned to do deep meditation and wrk with the Sound therapy. Maybe mentioned earlier ? Uses sounds to stimulate areas of the brain to produce seratonin's etc. to aide in pain relief, stress, & sleep. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not still be on this Earth had it not been fr her. Have you tried the new radio-thermal treatment ? I had it done to pelvic nerves in 2005 when it was still in study. It didnt work, but thinking about trying it fr my hands. Jst wondering if it actually helps anybody. Bumped neurontin down friday and cant hardly stand to touch anything with my left hand !

She hasn't said what type of surgery because I kind of just brushed it off because I hear it's not always a gaurantee to make you feel better. Shr just said 'lets be open to surgery" I don't want to. Hence why I sm in therapy now.
It seems to be helping. I have been putting off the surgery talk forever.
About the radio thermal, no I have not tried or even heard of it.

Dreamy Life wrote:

She hasn't said what type of surgery because I kind of just brushed it off because I hear it's not always a gaurantee to make you feel better. Shr just said 'lets be open to surgery" I don't want to. Hence why I sm in therapy now.
It seems to be helping. I have been putting off the surgery talk forever.
About the radio thermal, no I have not tried or even heard of it.

The treatment sends warm sound waves thru the nerves in hope of "soothing" them into normal operation. It is considered to be a "harm-free " procedure.(Quoting my physician) Ask yr doctor about. I, too, put off surgery. My urologist told me I would die if I didnt remove my bladder. A month later, I was tested then treated fr MRSA and my pelvic pain lessoned to a tolerable level. After all that time....a course of several PILLS and I was better ! Sometimes I still cant believe it ! I believe that we should all listen to that little intuitive voice we hear.
If yr interested in the meditation CD's, try HealthJourney's.com . They have all types, including some guided meditation tapes.

Thanks PainM! I will check it out!

Wow!!!! I am not sure why but after a month and half after stopping my meds, I am getting hit flashes. Weird!!! My temperature is off the chart tonight. What is going on???

Dreamy Life wrote:

Wow!!!! I am not sure why but after a month and half after stopping my meds, I am getting hit flashes. Weird!!! My temperature is off the chart tonight. What is going on???

Probably not related to d/c of meds. Funny how we are almost brain-washed into thinking of our CPP stuff first ! You might jst be running fever! How are you feeling today ? Happy V-day !

Happy Vday to you too!!!

How are you feeling Dreamy ? Looks like it's jst the two of us lft. Wonder how Free is doing... Today having lots of joint pain & swelling is back. Have at least 2+ pitting edema to both legs today. My lower back is killing me too. This all and my daughter has a function tonight that I absolutely need to attend.
Only one more decel of Neurontin before supposed to completely d/c. Thinking of jst going ahead with the d/c @ this point. Id rather more discomfort and have it all done with. Im tired of being in wd's. After Neurontin, have to stop Baclofen. On lst decel of that too. Then will be completely med-free! Well except fr my hormone patch, but cant stop that. Jst really want to be finished. Tired & depressed ovr all of it! Ready to feel better, you know?