General Discussion-OFF TOPIC-DAILY CHECK IN

HI EVERYONE!!! I thought I would start a thread like this so everyone can talk about anything happening in their lives at this time, talk about things that we might have in common whether methadone is involved or not. Every forum should have an off topic discussion to well get away from it all.

Once when I was a moderator on another forum, I started a thread called THE DAILY CHECK-IN. It was very successful. It was about people talking about their chronic pain, life, discussions that were off topic from what the forum was about. I figured a few of us were talking about our children and how they were born in another thread and its a fantastic discussion I thought maybe we could give it its own thread or whatever. So feel free to talk about anything and everything.

Mike, OP 30, if you want to continue the discussion we were having here, it could have its own place now. I think its fantastic that we can all talk about something that has happened in our lives and give each other support The 3 of us that have similar circumstance re: our children and I think its great we can all talk about it. So check in, vent, cry, ask for support for anything in this thread.

Well, if I have posted anything on the forum this morning that made absolutely no sense, I apologize. I had surgery on Wednesday, and took my first pain pill at 5:30 this am, and it really screwed me up. I couldn't hold my eyes open and eventually just passed out. Here it's 3:00pm and I just woke up, and am truly scared to go back and read what I typed in the other threads between then and now. Wow, I didn't realize how hard it would be to stay awake and sensible after taking it, and am now gonna place the pain pills in the "NOT" column. So if I said anything crazy, I'm sorry to all.

Ok you pill popper, no problem. Hope your feeling better Mike.

mike wrote:

Well, if I have posted anything on the forum this morning that made absolutely no sense, I apologize. I had surgery on Wednesday, and took my first pain pill at 5:30 this am, and it really screwed me up. I couldn't hold my eyes open and eventually just passed out. Here it's 3:00pm and I just woke up, and am truly scared to go back and read what I typed in the other threads between then and now. Wow, I didn't realize how hard it would be to stay awake and sensible after taking it, and am now gonna place the pain pills in the "NOT" column. So if I said anything crazy, I'm sorry to all.

hey mike i know how you feel.i caught the flew from my girls and have felt like crap for a couple of days.i woke up today at 4pm (i slept 16 hours thank god) and couldnt believe it is friday.i keep asking my wife thinking see was messing with me,where did this week go to.

Hey just a question. If I cant taper all the way off methadone I was thinking of maybe suboxone? And then tapering off that? My mmt doc offers that also. But it is expensive at first weekly visits then monthly. Is it easier to taper from suboxone? Or should I just tuff it out. The thing is if I start feeling bad phisically I dont want my girls to suffer cause I cant be as active for awhile.

Also this post was a good idea. I am sure everyone else doesnt want to hear my rambelings.
Thanks for the ongoing support.

opinionated30 wrote:

Hey just a question. If I cant taper all the way off methadone I was thinking of maybe suboxone? And then tapering off that? My mmt doc offers that also. But it is expensive at first weekly visits then monthly. Is it easier to taper from suboxone? Or should I just tuff it out. The thing is if I start feeling bad phisically I dont want my girls to suffer cause I cant be as active for awhile.

Don't go opinionated. I was painting with my son. I thin you have a good idea. I was on suboxone for a short while. I got afraid of being addicted so only stayed on for 10 days, but it gave me the courage to just jump. At first I blamed the sub for lack of sleep, but I wasn't sleeping well to begin with. I was on 20mg for a long time trying to taper and just kept myself in withdrawal, for so long. my first dose of suboxone was really a blessing, as it pulled me out of withdrawal in 30 minutes. Do you have insurance, because it might just be cheaper for you to get a Dr close to you to write an RX, my insurance covered most of it. Although I didn't stay on it as directed, it was a wonderful tool and a first step into sobriety.

opinionated30 wrote:

Also this post was a good idea. I am sure everyone else doesnt want to hear my rambelings.
Thanks for the ongoing support.

Oh and although you have to be in moderate to moderate withdrawals on 20 to 30mg of methadone and wait out 24 hours from your last dose, you should feel normal about 30 minutes after you dissolve it under your tongue. There are others here with more knowledge about it than me, but I think its a great question

runningwolf wrote:

<quoted text>hey mike i know how you feel.i caught the flew from my girls and have felt like crap for a couple of days.i woke up today at 4pm (i slept 16 hours thank god) and couldnt believe it is friday.i keep asking my wife thinking see was messing with me,where did this week go to.

Finally, you slept, I was getting worried when I hadn't heard from you, Sorry you've been sick dude, but really glad you finally got some much needed rest

mike wrote:

Well, if I have posted anything on the forum this morning that made absolutely no sense, I apologize. I had surgery on Wednesday, and took my first pain pill at 5:30 this am, and it really screwed me up. I couldn't hold my eyes open and eventually just passed out. Here it's 3:00pm and I just woke up, and am truly scared to go back and read what I typed in the other threads between then and now. Wow, I didn't realize how hard it would be to stay awake and sensible after taking it, and am now gonna place the pain pills in the "NOT" column. So if I said anything crazy, I'm sorry to all.

Thanks Pain Patient, good idea

runningwolf wrote:

<quoted text>hey mike i know how you feel.i caught the flew from my girls and have felt like crap for a couple of days.i woke up today at 4pm (i slept 16 hours thank god) and couldnt believe it is friday.i keep asking my wife thinking see was messing with me,where did this week go to.

Man, I know EXACTLY what you are saying. I had sugery on Wednesday, so the anesthesia had me messed up and I slept on and off and while I was awake I really don't remember much. And I was fine yesterday, but this morning after I took that pain pill I got plumb sloppy and passed out again. I also don't remember much after it. So this week has been a blur for me pretty much. I just woke up again and am STILL drowsy. Hahaha. I also couldn't believe it was Friday already, and had to ask my wife that earlier.

anybody else got light blue where as soon as an opiate enters your system your eyes looks like children of the damned?

Tommy, I know I told at least Mike this, but I was cleaning out my car a few weeks ago, and found an old temporary license, as I had lost mine and they give you a paper with your picture on it until they mail your real one back. Thank god a year later, my wallet was stolen and I needed another new one. When I found that temporary license I was shocked. I looked like a full blown junkie on 20mg of methadone. My face was all puffy, my eyes were rolled back, my mouth hanging open, I tore it up immediately upon finding it, It was really a shock.

I feel this is the appropriate place to post this. Last Thursday, I saw a neurologist. I had seen this Dr. 4 years ago, after my initial injury and was still waiting on insurance to pop in. Believe it or not I posted this in the oxy forum, because I thought they might understand the situation better. It had been six months since my injury and I had already been to the ER, the obstacles of the VA, and my walk in to a methadone clinic. The Dr. wanted to perform an expensive test, which at the time I could not afford. It took me 6 months from the injury to save my money to even visit him. Naturally, he was skeptical of any pain I was experiencing and said the test would have to be done to draw any conclusions as to the pain I was experiencing. Now, feeling well and with insurance, I decided to go back to him, although I don't feel this is pain anymore (but it was before), I thought there was an opportunity to regain some sensation in my arm back, so I returned.
I started by telling him my nightmare with addiction to the methadone. He said he understood, but I kind of doubt that.
He finally got to run his expensive test, an EMD, I believe. I never studied much about neurology, so excuse if I got the name of the test wrong.
He came back in and did further testing in my right arm and hand and said there was significant damage and though he initially thought the nerve was in shock, he said it was either crushed or severed through the injury. He said there was nothing he could do except what I had already done, which was work with it and get some amount of use back, but now it is what it is.
I was not expecting any miracles, as it is merely a nuisance not being able to have sensations except shock like, tingling and burning, just seeing if there was a chance if I could get that part relieved and possibly return to work.
He offered me pain medication on at least 5 different occasions, each time I asked if that would help me regain more use of my arm his response was no. I declined. I did however take the splint he offered.
I am not bitter, but I told this man methadone was not working for me. Though most don't believe it, I really believe in pain management. He had an opportunity 4 years ago to change me to something else, but didn't. Instead I was left in a fog and in a constant battle to get off methadone, because it wasn't for me. If it has helped people with their pain, I'm glad, If it's helped them move on with their lives, I am also glad. But maybe now, a lot of you will understand the rest of the story.

Is there anything else that will help. My doc once gave my effexor and said it would help with the pain. I know its not for pain though.I can see why you feel the way you did. My doc old pain doc is retired now with very fat pockets! I did have back pain though. Thats my main worry that when i taper completly off that it will come back. But what I HOPE is that the pain was fueled by addiction. I know that I felt the pain but did my mind/body cause it to get pain meds. He started me out with 8 hydrocodone 10/325's a day. Thats alot.But when I took the pills they made my depression go away, all pain, cleaning the house was fun again. I had so much energy. But how fast did that change and was replaced with addict behavior!But anyway no I have no insurance but if I get back to the money issue I just remember what I spent as an active addict and it kind of makes it better. I know kind of about suboxone. I just think it might be easier to jump off at 20 mgs get on that to stabelize and taper from there.I have seen many taper forums and read what they went thru. I know that i can do it and that I deserve any pain that I face sence I chose to go that route. But the reality is that my LO will not let me rest when I am in withdraws. So I might make an appmnt with my mmt doc and see if suboxone is for me.

I thought my post went thru last night but guess not. OP- I think Sub is a great idea. The only thing I am concerned about is will you be able to handle the w/d for a day or two before you get on the Sub? I can relate with a little one that you dont want to feel bad and that is my only concern. Sub is a great idea.

OP-first of all, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE IN PAIN, nor do you DESERVE any "payback" because you have an addiction problem. Addicts do go out one day and say Hey, I want to be an addict, so get this out of your head because I don't want you to feel bad at all. Now with that said, Effexor is an Antidepressant. Its not a pain reliever. Some doctors think it does help with pain and it might but I think for more along the lines for Fibromyalgia pain, not back pain.

The only way you will know if you still have the pain issues is if and when you get off everything. Suboxone has buprenoriphine in it and its used as a pain releiver altho not a good pain reliever it is a narcotic. So you might indeed get some pain relief from the Sub.

May I ask what you have going on with your back? Do you think you will need relief again later down the line? Did you have an injury? I suffer from horrible back pain. I have Facet Joint Arthritis in my L4, L5 and S1 and was recently told I have Spinal Stenosis as well. This is really screwing up my right leg. But anyway, if there is something degenerative happening your pain may get worse over time and you might find yourself back in the same position again. I would hope tho you would seek the help from a physician if this happened.

The Sub will help with the depression but this will be something you will have to deal with once you taper from the Suboxone to nothing. By then your daughter will be older and you probably will have had time being sober and getting your life back on track. And your depression can be managed via other alternatives if need be. I hope this helps. Please think about this and if you feel that it might be too difficult those couple of days where you have to be in w/d then I would just stay on the methadone and taper from that down to 0 if need be. But Sub being a choice I think is the best idea, maybe you can find someone to come and help you with your kids or maybe a babysitter?

Good Morning everyone. Hope you all have a great weekend!!! WE are moving more furniture and doing a switch around in the house here. I finally have "MY OFFICE"!!!! I am so excited. I can now look out my picture window and watch the wildlife during the day when I am on the computer and I also set up a play area in it for my son, he also has his room which is right next to my office. I so needed this space. I decided to take my guest room and do this because I don't have too many guests that stay overnight. Sure I have friends and family that come from out of state but I have air beds, and my two sectionals when you take the pillows off they are like twin beds in the Chaise part of the sofa. So there are places for guests to sleep. Can you tell I am excited???? LOL. A friend of mine is coming to help my DH do all this. Well gotta run, have a great day.

opinionated30 wrote:

Is there anything else that will help. My doc once gave my effexor and said it would help with the pain. I know its not for pain though.I can see why you feel the way you did. My doc old pain doc is retired now with very fat pockets! I did have back pain though. Thats my main worry that when i taper completly off that it will come back. But what I HOPE is that the pain was fueled by addiction. I know that I felt the pain but did my mind/body cause it to get pain meds. He started me out with 8 hydrocodone 10/325's a day. Thats alot.But when I took the pills they made my depression go away, all pain, cleaning the house was fun again. I had so much energy. But how fast did that change and was replaced with addict behavior!But anyway no I have no insurance but if I get back to the money issue I just remember what I spent as an active addict and it kind of makes it better. I know kind of about suboxone. I just think it might be easier to jump off at 20 mgs get on that to stabelize and taper from there.I have seen many taper forums and read what they went thru. I know that i can do it and that I deserve any pain that I face sence I chose to go that route. But the reality is that my LO will not let me rest when I am in withdraws. So I might make an appmnt with my mmt doc and see if suboxone is for me.

OP a lot of time Dr.s use either tricylic anti depressants or anti seizure meds for nerve pain, so you're right, they can help for nerve pain, They are experimenting with some of the ssri's for nerve pain as well, probably why you got Effexor. I know some of these do work for neuropathic pain, but I was given so many at one time I developed seratonin syndrome, so now, even if they give me one at a time, I have a poor reaction to it. Honest, I'm happy with what I have left, I'll probably ask another Dr about it just so I can say I did all I could, I do my own physical therapy every day, and have far more use than I did 4 years ago even more 3 months ago, because I felt like exercising. Anyway thanks for your concern. Now focus on you, we're pulling for you. Whatever you decide, I'm sure you will be supported.

I really feel that this was a good idea and am glad it got started. Believe me, it's really good to have somewhere to go and talk about things off topic. There's not that burden of felling like you "have to" talk only about methadone, and really lets you know that we all have our own lives, problems, and circumstances outside of methadone. Although it hasn't caught on as much as I, personally would have liked yet, I'm pretty sure it will. Thanks again for starting this one.