Hillbillys.

Bears way wrote:

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After elections maybe we will all find out what the truth is, broke or not broke.

Not if Lamar is re-elected.

Amos_1 wrote:

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Not if Lamar is re-elected.

Lamar and re-=elected are dirty words. We are going to have to wash your mouth out with soap if you keep using them.

MulkyGap wrote:

Real hillbilly's are off the grid, and would never consider posting on an internet forum

You dont have a clue what a real HillBilly is.

Timmy_ wrote:

<quoted text>You dont have a clue what a real HillBilly is.

Well one thing for sure, he doesn't have a computer to post on Topix.

Floidian wrote:

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Well one thing for sure, he doesn't have a computer to post on Topix.

He is getting access to the internet somehow.

Floidian wrote:

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Well one thing for sure, he doesn't have a computer to post on Topix.

So what do you call a born-n-raised that owns computer???

Timmy_ wrote:

<quoted text>He is getting access to the internet somehow.

McDonald's or maybe their Florida neighbor has an unsecured server.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch...

Thays a passel of tham Ma an Paw Kettles out thar ins the tri county area thet just won't admitts tos be'n hillbillys.

Timmy_ wrote:

<quoted text>You dont have a clue what a real HillBilly is.

I know they got better things to do than log over 2000 posts to TOPIX in less than a year

MulkyGap wrote:

Real hillbilly's are off the grid, and would never consider posting on an internet forum

My handle says it all!!

Sorry about the double (now triple post). I have no idea how it happened nor do I know how to correct it.

Good Point wrote:

Sorry about the double (now triple post). I have no idea how it happened nor do I know how to correct it.

Thats easy, just pull up the post you want to delete and get some whiteout and mark it out.

I'm a PA Ridge Runner proud of it and proud to have many Hillbillys as my friends!

Paladinhgwt wrote:

I'm a PA Ridge Runner proud of it and proud to have many Hillbillys as my friends!

Makes you feel good don't it..

Cousin Jeb told me about this Hillbilly tread. After he told a thread wasn't what maw sowed up our pants with, I'm starten to post here. You'ins use strange words. We use post to keep the old cow in. I jest want to tell ye...

I am real ticked off at all you'ins flat landers thinking we don't know what to do with computers. I must of had about 8 of em but the deer head kepp falling off the wall and breaking them. Used to throw em into the out house hole after thay tore up with all the rest of the bottles and junk or I threw em in the burn pile. Now, I figured out new uses.

For instance, discarded keyboards make great hound dog toys, and you can use those little gray mouse balls to build a sweet miniature billiard set.

MulkyGap wrote:

Real hillbilly's are off the grid, and would never consider posting on an internet forum

You needs to doz you some googles. A hillbilly built the first puter outa radio parts han plywood wiff dow fer buttons han to counts wiff. You haint the Sharpest Tack in the shed is you...Iz gess whats wrong wiff you is thet you ketched the Mulkeys. Doz them Mulkys Hurt? Iz members tham first puters..........Doz yore self?

Da number 1 praduct wuld be Winders '95

Instead of an hour glass icon ours wuld have an empty beer bottle

Instead of dialog boxes that says yes, no, & cancel ours wuld say, ahh-right, naw, & git

Instead of 'Ta-dah' our openin sound wuld be 'Duelin Banjos'

Power Point wuld be Par-pawnt

Da recycle bin icon wuld look like an outhouse

Flight semulator wuld be replaced to da 'tractr pull semulator'

Hard wares culd be replaced usin parts from ah '36 chevy

Dis 'puters protected by Smith & Wesson Screen-Saver

Instead of theme song "Start me Up", we'd be usin "Achey Breaky Heart"

Whenevers ya pulls up yer sound player, ya'd hear "Sweet Home Alabama"

Occasonaly, ya'd bring up a winder dat wuz coverd wit a hefty bag & sum duct tape

One wrong turn whilst surfin da net an you'd be face ta face wit a 12 gage

Microsoft Word wuld includes in it a phonetic spell checker

My Computer icon wuld sey My Puter

Internet icon wuld sey Innernet

My Briefcase wuldnt' be ther at all

Mail Box icon wuld be a reel Mail Box

Dial up networking wuld be 2 cans wit a string

Slowpok got me a thinking about "will world" computer terminology.

Network -- Cousin Slowpok, how did that net work to catch Floridits before you skint em?

ID10T error -- 10 floridits trying to figure out what Slowpok is saying cause they don't understand plain hillbilly.

Binary -- Cousin Jeb h'aint been "by-in-nary" a month of Sundays.

I could go on, but I need to hammer up that deer head better so it won't break this computer. Besides, I don't want to over load the flat launders RAM's (Rectal Access Memory's) cause they have shitz fer brains.

ACTIVE DESKTOP - Caused from leevin food on da puter desk

AOL - Any ole' looser

Apple - What Wannita sends me after fer pies

Backup - What ya do when ya sees a skunk in the woods

Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at da tavern

Bitmap - Left over parts of a ten-year old map

Bug - The reason ya give for callin in sick

Byte - What yer pitbull dun to cusin Jethro

Cache - Needed when ya run out of food stamps

Cad - How Wannita shuts down da puter(ctrl,alt,delete)

CD~Rom - Uther side of the tracks wher the pope use ta live

Chip - Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in

Computer - New fangeled TV Set

Copy - How BuBBa got threw skool

CPU - We callem' skunks round here

Crash - When ya go to Junior's party uninvited

Data - Oppisit of Dissa

Default - What da bank sez we done on our loan

Defrag - What wez does ta our frigerator evry 3 months(or is dat defrost, cant' rmembr)

Digital - The art of countin on yer fingers

Diskette - Female Disco dancer

Display - Not much beter than da last one we saw

Documents - Translation of what da doc acshully sez

DOS - Dont' own Squat

Dot Matrix - Ole' Dan Matrixs' wife

Double Click - When yer lighter wont' lite the first time

Download - Bowel movement

Dual Processors - When 2 revenuers come callin

DVD - Deadly Venereal Disease

E-Mail - Knot male, knot female

Encryption - What they did ta those Egyptian Kings

Enter - Northrn fer "Come on in y'all"

Fat 32 - Wannita wuz fat long fore that

Fax - What ya lie about to the IRS

File - Da trash can

Floppy Disk - See Micro~Soft

Font - What ya call a baby deer(da T is silent)

Format - What ya wipes yer feet on b'forst ya com in da house.
Continued down yonders.

Frames - Held tagether by black tape so Wannita kan see

Gateway - Best way through the fence

GIF - What I gives Wannita fer her birthday

Hacker - Uncle Otis after 32 years of smokin

Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selectin tatoos

Hard Drive - The trip home from the bar wit the Police behind ya

Home Page - Call 2 Wannita 2 come gits me at the bar

ICQ - I cant' Quit

IBM - Immense Bowel Movement

Intellimouse - What we mus hav here, cuz our cat shore cant' catch em!

Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

Java - Coffee, what else

Java Applets - Coffee & Apple slices, duh!

Java Script - Papers aftr ya spilt da coffee on em

JPEG - Beter than a nail ta hang yer coat on

Keyboard - Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere

LapTop - Where I puts my plate

Laser Jet - Navys new air~plane

LCD - Little C-D Rom

Log Off - Dont' add no mor fire wood

Log On - Makes da wood stove hoter

Mac - Big BuBBa's favorite fast food

Mainframe - Holds up da barn