if anyone in winchendon loved and cared about my dad, you would want to know and be totally appalled by how he died and the condition he was in while he was cared for at home,by someone you think cared. does anyone knows what a stage 4 decubitus wound from neglect is?http://seniorhealth.about.c om/library/usercontent/uctip3. htm in my years of seeing many of decub wounds, had never in my life until a couple days before my dad died had i ever seen this kind of neglect, the odor was horrid, he was soaked with brown drainage thru his dressing, his underwear (which i had to cut off) thru several sheets. there was a comment made in the room about the smell, which my mother made loud enough for my poor dad who was suffering heard. how demeaning. please if you have the time look up decubitus pressure wounds, the cause and what a stage four involves, so deep bone, muscle, are exposed, the smell was from infection that was left to eat away at him. he cried in pain for days when his pain should have been so controlled with the amount of pain medication he should have been getting, that also is a question that will never be answered since i myself saw in his bedroom closet the stash of what was told to his hospice nurse in front of me that his caretaker my mother had thrown them away???????, and i did report this to hospice my concerns and they were reasssured by his wonderful caretaker that i was crazy. my father told me on several occassions when my mom wasnt in the room there was something wrong with her. I also want to make known the reason i was not at my dads funeral, because i was told not to go by my mother, he loved me and he loved my son who was not allowed to see him also. one of the last things he said to me was please dont leave me. and he wanted me to go with him when he died, does this sound like someone who wouldnt want his daughter at his funeral. how many people reading this could imagine being told they could not go to their own father's funeral. My mother was cruel to me thru my life, my dad looked out for me, she couldnt stand it, two years ago she screamed at him "she is still your little girl and she will always be right", this is the words from a sixty year old adult who the reason my dad was standing up for me was because she stole my journal and many other private papers which he told her she was wrong. she said "they were in my house" I know noone here needs to hear the dirt from a family, its taken me a year to come to terms with being kept away from my dad's funeral, and the fact that i could not help him when he was dying, because the control was by her.
From what my dad told me during a family meeting two weeks before he died i was left something, i was his daughter,that i think he loved, my brother since has told me "he left you nothing', refuses to let me see his will, which i still havent. you know what i loved him and i want nothing, what he taught me in life is all i need. i want my memories of how he loved my kids and his granddaughter, the one my mother didnt like him to acknowlegde.
oh well, what happened to him was a crime, a shame and he needed me to stick up for him then, not now, that makes me weak, because i was so afraid of her as an adult that i couldnt even do what was right.
If anyone did to him in a facility that was accountable for the care they gave, they would have been investigated for a cruel form of neglect. Too bad noone else noticed. its 2 late, but it makes me feel better to say to the place that i spent 31 years of my life and where my kids are growning up why i was absent at my own dad's last day. i am so sorry and i talk to him and hope he understands. knowing ART, he does.