**God Files Lawsuit in Ramsey County**
Papers were filed late this afternoon by the Lord in Ramsey District Court seeking a temporary restraining order against a former councilman who recently appointed himself as leader of his own fiefdom.

The Almighty is seeking immediate injunctive relief which will prevent the defendant from continued prayer or any derivation thereof.“Every day, all the time, with some piss ant problem he created himself. Frankly, it’s intolerable.‘Why don’t people like me,’‘how will I pay my property taxes,’‘should I run for office, please send me a sign.’ Send me a sign?” God continued,“A damn sign! Christ on a crutch, losing a landslide as an incumbent can’t be made any more clear. I didn’t even have to play a role in that, it was simply good voter judgment.”

When asked why he doesn’t simply smite the defendant, God pointed out he long ago created a no-smiting policy once he was made aware of innocent people being victims as well.“I am now a pacifist and second hand smite is a concern. I am not willing to hold the good people of White Bear Lake responsible for the actions of some anonymous sycophants and one jackass.”

The suit also contends that the defendant’s participation in religion has caused “irreparable damage” to God’s reputation.“I’m competing against peer pressure, pop culture and Mephistopheles. Having him on my side has made performing my job almost impossible.” God said.“All I am looking for is a fair shake and him claiming to speak of righteousness and morality is frankly crippling. It erodes my credibility.”

When made aware of God’s legal move, the defendant countered by stating he had quit praying the day before once he found out his church had never paid any taxes.“I am very disappointed to recently find out my church has neglected their obligations. It is un-American,“ the defendant stated.“Furthermore it has come to my attention that it may be possible that numerous churches have acted similarly. We are looking into it. In the short-term I don’t think it is appropriate to pray to a ‘holy being’ who may be a tax cheat.” The defendant also said he finds it disturbing that the press has never looked in this.“All this time, they have failed to pay taxes and no stories.”

At the end of the interview a group of Buddhist Monks happened to walk by while by flogging themselves on their way to build a homeless shelter for children and the defendant observed “Look at those cronies, with their good old boy tax cheating network. Walking with impunity. I am sickened with their sense of self-importance.”