Second wives, protect your children!

OMG wrote:

It's not the person that is receiving the child support that is evil. It's usually the latest wife with all the hatred and evil in them, she hates to see money that she could be spending on herself going to someone else. You know the second family despises that.
The second family doesnt stop and think that if they have kids in a previous relationship they are getting support also. Write the check, it doesnt matter where it goes, as long as you pay your doing your part.. dont be selfish. your man created a family before he got with you. Just because they have moved on does not mean that they are not responsible.

You're just a greedy bitch it all. Get a life and earn your own money.

JustMe wrote:

<quoted text>
You're just a greedy bitch it all. Get a life and earn your own money.

let me guess you are a current wife that hates to write that check to the ex-wife. lmao Because you dont care about the other children involved and you want the money in YOUR pocket..
cry a river full, you knew he was paying child support before you got with him, or maybe your the reason he is having to pay child support.. get use to it and "JUST KEEP WRITING THAT CHECK"

To hmmm and justme,

who are either of you or what makes you so righteous to judge and criticize these women?

I myself am a single parent. My sons father left before he was born and to this day (17 months later)he has had nothing to do with his son. He has never physically met him and has refused to pay a penny to support him. Now the state has caught up with him and his starting to garnish his wages.
I work 2 jobs to support our son and provide him with insurance and everything else he needs. We do not receive any public assistance. I dont spend ungodly amounts of money on myself and normally shop at the goodwill for clothes. any money that he is ordered to contribute will be used to provide for our son. So please get off of your high horse and quit judging single moms for wanting to give their children a nice life. Im not saying that every single mom is perfect and puts their children first. but speaking for myself as a single mom struggling to make it every month I do put my son first and dont need your criticism.

I agree with Just Me in a respect. OMG wrote it doesn't matter where the money goes. It does. Sure, a lot of CS receivers spend the money on the kid. Some of it. There are a lot who are greedy bitches who say "it doesn't matter where the money goes."
It would be amazing to see the State of IL set up a checks and balances system to make the child support receivers be accountable for the money and better system instead of the standard percentage rate having to be paid. Child support is a contribution towards the child's care - not alimony. Too many child support receivers use the money on themselves. They need to support their own lives and pay an equal 50% for the child along with the other parent.

wow wrote:

To hmmm and justme,
who are either of you or what makes you so righteous to judge and criticize these women?
I myself am a single parent. My sons father left before he was born and to this day (17 months later)he has had nothing to do with his son. He has never physically met him and has refused to pay a penny to support him. Now the state has caught up with him and his starting to garnish his wages.
I work 2 jobs to support our son and provide him with insurance and everything else he needs. We do not receive any public assistance. I dont spend ungodly amounts of money on myself and normally shop at the goodwill for clothes. any money that he is ordered to contribute will be used to provide for our son. So please get off of your high horse and quit judging single moms for wanting to give their children a nice life. Im not saying that every single mom is perfect and puts their children first. but speaking for myself as a single mom struggling to make it every month I do put my son first and dont need your criticism.

How long were you together? Were you married or dating? Did you agree to have children together?

We were engaged and had been dating for 8 years prior. Having a baby was always in the plan. I couldnt get pregnant at first because I had cancer. Then I got healthy again and I got pregnant. It just seems that when my ex had to actually face the reality of it all he couldnt handle it and ran away(far away) and took a job in texas. Now he uses the distance as an excuse for why he is not a part of his childs life physically or finacially. To me its all a cop out.

As long as the child has food in his belly, a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in, a Doctor when needed, etc... Then why should it matter if the parent recieving the child support has their nails done, or goes out when they get a chance? THEY DESERVE IT!

HelloKitty wrote:

As long as the child has food in his belly, a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in, a Doctor when needed, etc... Then why should it matter if the parent recieving the child support has their nails done, or goes out when they get a chance? THEY DESERVE IT!

They deserve to use their own money and not child support to go out and get their nails done. Get a job and stop being a greedy blood sucker.

hmmm wrote:

<quoted text>
Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you a Child Support RECEIVER!!!!

Ladies and Gentelmen...I give you a second wife!

Living Both Sides wrote:

I agree with Just Me in a respect. OMG wrote it doesn't matter where the money goes. It does. Sure, a lot of CS receivers spend the money on the kid. Some of it. There are a lot who are greedy bitches who say "it doesn't matter where the money goes."
It would be amazing to see the State of IL set up a checks and balances system to make the child support receivers be accountable for the money and better system instead of the standard percentage rate having to be paid. Child support is a contribution towards the child's care - not alimony. Too many child support receivers use the money on themselves. They need to support their own lives and pay an equal 50% for the child along with the other parent.

I agree that some women abuse child support BUT there are plenty of custodial parents that do not. This thread is an attack on any custodial parent receiving child support. The saddest part of it all is the fact that the second wives are the one's making all the accusations with the exception of a few bitter men. My thing is, when my ex gets laid off or whatever, we make adjustments. I do not sit there and demand that he pay what he was ordered if he is not working. However, if he is working and bringing in money then yes he better pay every penny he is ordered to. My kids are into numerous activities all of which cost money. It is not fair to them to not be able to do the same things they did when we were married. That is the point of the child support law in IL. The children should have the same opportunities in a broken home as if the family was still together. It is not the fault of the children so they should not suffer. I do not think most first wives are greedy; they just want to be able to provide for their children and want the father to take responsibility. The saddest thing about some father's is they would not be involved at all if they were not paying child support. There is more to being a father then paying child support. There is also such a thing as a good step-mom. Too bad no one here fits that category! I feel sorry for your step-children, what kind of parent would you be anyway???? My ex's current girlfriend cannot stand for us to communicate in any way even though it is just about the kids. She caused so much drama that we went back into court and he lost joint custody. There are a lot of jealous girlfriends and second wives out there which is obvious by this thread. I think the greedy second wives out number the greedy ex's. Again, in the end the children suffer and I guess second wives do not care about that because it is not their child!!!!

JustMe wrote:

<quoted text>
They deserve to use their own money and not child support to go out and get their nails done. Get a job and stop being a greedy blood sucker.

So you can be a greedy blood sucker right?

HA HA HA wrote:

<quoted text>
Ladies and Gentelmen...I give you a second wife!

Ladies and Gentlemen...I give you a second wife!

Do not want a crazy second wife yelling at me about a spelling error! Some of these posts are ridiculous!

Give Me a Break wrote:

<quoted text>I feel sorry for your step-children, what kind of parent would you be anyway???? My ex's current girlfriend cannot stand for us to communicate in any way even though it is just about the kids. She caused so much drama that we went back into court and he lost joint custody. There are a lot of jealous girlfriends and second wives out there which is obvious by this thread. I think the greedy second wives out number the greedy ex's. Again, in the end the children suffer and I guess second wives do not care about that because it is not their child!!!!

Oh, so you're bitter about the second wife or girlfriend and that is why you write what you do. I can understand it because I'm a biomom and a stepmom. The kids all live with us and we still have to pay child support and I don't receive child support because of a deadbeat dad. We take care of the kids needs so that they live happy lives. Luckily, we both have good jobs and we choose not to run out on the kids for money. Don't feel sorry for my stepchildren. They have a wonderful father and a stepmom who loves them unconditionally. Just like my children. So, for your information, I am a very good mom and stepmom with amazing children and I consider them all my kids and no one is less than.

I can certainly understand the second wives point of view in that paying child support stinks when the money is not spent on the child and is an alimony payment to some lazy bitter woman. I also have seen the best of the deadbeat dads who make it a game to not pay for their kids and don't care to spend the time with them. No one will win this argument because it's too emotional. My husband and I take the position that the ex's are invisible and what would we do for them if the other bios just did not exist at all. It makes our life easier and our kids just like others. Like I said, luckily, we can afford to do this. I feel for the bio moms who are getting shafted and the second wives who are supporting deadbeat first wives. Second wives love and care for your children and can do it just as well. Sometimes, it's the biomom's insecurities in sharing their children. I also have seen bad stepmoms. But I guess that is another thread and heated argument .... ;)

There needs to be huge reform in this country in the child support system and a checks and balances system would be a great way to go. This system is so outdated it isn't even funny.

LMAO wrote:

<quoted text>
So you can be a greedy blood sucker right?

You cannot be a blood sucker if it's your hard earned money....

There needs to be huge reform in this country in the child support system and a checks and balances system would be a great way to go. This system is so outdated it isn't even funny

then it also should be addressed... why are fathers allowed to not support their children, and i mean all of them. My child is her fathers second child. we were married. I understand that his first child comes first when it comes to income tax checks and so on and so forth. While we were married he paid child support to his ex every month and I had no problem with it. We have a child support order, now however when he owes my child a significant sum of back support. what am i to do??? the system seems to turn their head to my child as well. I would be more then welcome to show how the money is going to the child. As long as he would understand utilites need to be paid to keep the child healthy. I dont know how the courts would ever be able to keep up with this when I cant even find him to get him served papers.

JustMe wrote:

<quoted text>
They deserve to use their own money and not child support to go out and get their nails done. Get a job and stop being a greedy blood sucker.

You are so ignorant! LOL They ARE using their own money to take care of the child! Child support does not cover 100% of the child's needs! I don't care how rich or poor the person recieving the support is, the other parent still has to take care of their share in supporting THEIR child! Like I said before, as long as the child's needs are taking care of, it shouldn't matter if the parent treats his/her self to little extras in life! Sounds to me like you are the gready jerk!

HelloKitty wrote:

<quoted text>
You are so ignorant! LOL They ARE using their own money to take care of the child! Child support does not cover 100% of the child's needs! I don't care how rich or poor the person recieving the support is, the other parent still has to take care of their share in supporting THEIR child! Like I said before, as long as the child's needs are taking care of, it shouldn't matter if the parent treats his/her self to little extras in life! Sounds to me like you are the gready jerk!

You appear to be the ignorant person by your posts (and spelling). Let's all who are stuck in "stepland" take a guess that you are the screaming, ranting, psycho exwife. It's individuals like you who make everyone else do the "waiting on 18" countdown of their kids to freedom of people like you when the money can finally go directly to their children and out of manicure fund.

Ilini Dad wrote:

<quoted text>
You appear to be the ignorant person by your posts (and spelling). Let's all who are stuck in "stepland" take a guess that you are the screaming, ranting, psycho exwife. It's individuals like you who make everyone else do the "waiting on 18" countdown of their kids to freedom of people like you when the money can finally go directly to their children and out of manicure fund.

DITTO!!!

Ilini Dad wrote:

<quoted text>
You appear to be the ignorant person by your posts (and spelling). Let's all who are stuck in "stepland" take a guess that you are the screaming, ranting, psycho exwife. It's individuals like you who make everyone else do the "waiting on 18" countdown of their kids to freedom of people like you when the money can finally go directly to their children and out of manicure fund.

So your dumbass thinks that parents who recieve child support should NEVER do ANYTHING for themselves? Because if they do, it means they are taking away from the child? Why don't you explain how it should be?

auntie fran says pawpaw aint what he used to be.