Hope Nicole Mikesell

Tazmin wrote:

Dear Hopes Mom
I didn't know Hope, I accidently stumbled across this forum by mistake. Or maybe it was no mistake at all. When i read the letter you wrote your beloved it touched my heart, it reminded me of my mother and I. Some times i take her for granted, and we yell and scream and fight over petty little nothings. Thank you for the letter you wrote your daughter, I will think think twice before losing my temper with her or anyone for that matter. Every moment is sacred, every moment is key and with out the gratitude for the little things i would be nothing. I hope one day people will say the same amazing things about me that all of these loved ones of Hope are saying about and to her. Thanks Hope you answered my prayers.

From Hope's mom: All of life is precious, maybe I always knew that, I am grateful that the forces that let ya stumble onto this page also caused me to return here and find the message ya wrote.
A latin phrase"Dum spiro spero" tranlates "As I breathe I hope".
Thanks again,
Denise Ann Meginness-Mikesell

Hopes Mom wrote:

<quoted text>
Thanks Ashley, have a nice family Thanksgiving.

thank you, i sappose you had a nice thanksgiving?

I have watched this page to see how many people still write you Hopers. I love ya so much. A year has passed since I first wrote here, A year of ache, every day has been the same as the day before, your not here with me. I'm so scared.

Forever my Hope
Forever in my heart
I love you so
Though now we are apart
But I will see you again
That I do know
Wait for me my Hope
There is not long to go
You helped me on my way
You helped me fix my life
Your are forever my Hope
My angel of life

i used to know hope. my cousin brandon and melissa anderson introduced me. i thought of her as a friend though we only spoke occasionaly. she was kind and really funny. i also think about her alot. i was going to ask her to go out with me. i don't mean to offend any one and i'm sincerly sorry if i did. i have looked up this site so many times in the past but couldn't write anything. anyway, denise, i'm so sorry for your loss and i wish we can talk in person one day, you sound like a very nice lady. since that day i have moved back to a small town called price utah with my family, and i wont lie to you. i was raised up in a drug addicted family and i have used my fare share of illeagal drugs. but i've been clean and sober for almost an entire year now. i know hope would like that. anyway, i'll check back on this every now and then. please reply.

raymon wrote:

i used to know hope. my cousin brandon and melissa anderson introduced me. i thought of her as a friend though we only spoke occasionaly. she was kind and really funny. i also think about her alot. i was going to ask her to go out with me. i don't mean to offend any one and i'm sincerly sorry if i did. i have looked up this site so many times in the past but couldn't write anything. anyway, denise, i'm so sorry for your loss and i wish we can talk in person one day, you sound like a very nice lady. since that day i have moved back to a small town called price utah with my family, and i wont lie to you. i was raised up in a drug addicted family and i have used my fare share of illeagal drugs. but i've been clean and sober for almost an entire year now. i know hope would like that. anyway, i'll check back on this every now and then. please reply.

Per your request this is my reply. Foryuneatly I was given an oppurtunity to have alerts sent to my mailbox when posts were made to this forum. Hope touches so many lives, her grace continues. Thanks for your kind words, I am leaving my mail address here for ya to write directly to should ya find cause to do so. daniseannmeginness@hotmail.com

Hope, well ya would be driving this summer, and becoming one more step closer to achieving your goal of being first in our family to graduate high school. I wonder about what color your hair would be this summer, ha ha ha. The space for ya in my heart is still wanting to give ya the love reserved only for ya.I'm stuck in this area of my life, the best I can consider is when we are reunited I can give ya all this love. Your imprint of existance is so vivid and everywhere, even your name is spoken, Hope our daughter the verb.

ashley wrote:

<quoted text>
thank you, i sappose you had a nice thanksgiving?

too quiet, and no celebrating

thanks for replying i'm not sure if i need an email adress to talk to you on your thing, i dont actually get on the computer much. i'll try to figure it out though and i'll let you know. thanks.

i wanted to get your personal consent to get a tattoo in memory of hope. it will say 'In Loving Memory-Hope Nicole Mikesell-02/24/08'. I will not do it unless you say it is okay. please reply.

One person can not tell another person to get a tattoo or not, atleast not a person who is not family. We each have our own particular journey in life, for me rememberance of her date of birth and the precious time she spent here with us is more vital and comforting than the date she became no longer with us. I choose to carry a loving load, not the heavy heart crunching pain of her absence. Ultimately the choice is yours.
I support the memory of her life. A couple of her favorite things in this world were dolphins and mermaids, and the nickname her Dad gave her, Penguin. There are times when a picture or symbol has more power to give us than words that can fade and blur. Tatoos are art, a way to release into the world the pictures we see in our imaginations.
I once had a tattoo of someones name on my person, which has since been removed. There is a picture there that just as powerfully reminds me of the joy of that person, as the name did, with privacy and reverance.I have found love is always stronger when given quietly in sometimes the smallest of ways.
I sense there is more going on with the feelings and thoughts ya have shared here on this message board. For your own reasons ya are choosing to show rememberance for my youngest daughter, I thank ya for your heart felt desire to honor her life and giving.

It will be two years since to passing of my younger sister, and i must say that in the last year and a half i have been lost and become so many people different variations of a person. I have had countless nights with no sleep and only memories of how happy our family once was to dream of. I do miss her with all my heart, i have learned to grow and somehow become sober with the help of one of the best people i have ever met.Hope i want you to know that i have changed and i know that you would have been so proud, i am no longer goingt o any of those parties we would argue over me going. I want to tell you that i know how ignorant i was to how it made you feel when i woud leave for days on end. I wish i could have shown you just who i have begun to become. I want you to know that everything that i will do, in my or anyone's life i can accredit to my oldest younger sister. i love you and REAL TRUE hope, never dies...
Sincerely,
Sarah Elizabeth Vigil/Mikesell

Hope...
I miss you so much...seeing your picture on my wall brings me to tears every day. Every day I wish that it was all just a dream, that you are still here and i will be wraped in your arms again with your amazing hugs. Even after all this time..it just hurts so much.....I went to see you a couple weeks ago. The sun was shining, it was so bright. The grass was so green, the birds were chirping. It was such a beautiful day! I saw where you were and i kneeled down on the ground and put my ears to the grass and listened. I guess you could say i was trying to hear your voice one last time. But you didnt say anything. I layed down on the ground and I started to cry so hard. And right as i said i love you, the craziest thing happened. The wind started blowing and i swear i felt you there with me. I remembered growing up together with you. Remember that one time when we would make mud pies in your backyard? And when you first started coming back to East Elementary. That was one of the best days of my life. being able to see you every day and play together...God i miss you so much Hope. Sometimes its too painful i cant even get out of bed. There is no doubt in my heart that we were meant to be in eachother lives. You are my angel Hope. And until that day that i see you again... and be in your arms, to see your face and hear your laugh and hear you speak my name...I will never forget you. Thats a promise Hope. Just like a tattoo...I'll always have you. Sisters forever!... I love you.

Your Brother,
Jason B.

hope i love you and i always will sis. and i really hope i can see you again. if the thing is true about the after life and being in heaven i know you are there and if not jesus is a B!TCH and you desurve to be there. and if it is true that the after life is real i will see you there sis love you and i miss you i visit your grave every day love you bye

denise meginness wrote:

Hope's friends are invited to this address
http://www.myspace.com/deniseannmeginness

heyy everyone. hi hope luv ya sis we all miss ya.

heyy everyone (fam) how yall doin? hope!!! sis!! luv ya. we all miss you

You know,
I lived in Andy's shadow my whole life. And now I am stuck wishing that I could be standing in yours hopey.I find myself waiting until our parents go to sleep, just so that I can sit at the computer, and stare at the articles, the pictures and anything else I can find of you. I wiwsh you were here, I know that I wish I had You here. I know the family would not feel so dang broken. I want to be mad, I want to scream at you, but why is it that everytime I think of screaming, I find myself balling?It is almost thanksgiving, and it is just one more day that I wish you would be here for. I hate the holidays, EVERY single one of them. Every one that goes by, just lets me know that since you left this house our family has gone out the window. I want to tell you that andy had a daughter, and honestly I am having a hard time accepting her. I love her, but to hear your name. You are a wound I feel that I will never be able to heal. I love you so much. I know this year for Halloween, I just wanted to curl up. I just kept thinking of how we looked the year before. I miss the fights, I miss your music. I miss being so ready to die, and you saving me. I miss falligna sleep on your floor, and you waking me up by smacking me with a pillow. I miss you dragging me to the bathroom. I would trade you if I could. There are so many things that you anever got to experience.I feel so robbed of you.I know that without you, dad is so numb. Mom, is so distant. I keep wishing that somehow in someway, I could feel like when I walk int he door I am home again. I feel so dang unimportant now. I am trying so hard with mom and dad. I just want them to see that we can still be a family. That we dont ahve to stop loving each other. I feel so helpless, I mean so many things are not working out. I just wish you would come home. I wish you could see dad, he is so dang hollow Hope. There is so much that I want to talk about when it comes to you, but no one will hear me. IF they listen, then they listen for maybe twenty minutes, and then they find something to laugh about. I just want to get it out. I feel like I am suffocating sometimes. Hope, did you get the choice? Did you have the chance to come home?
It is so ridiculous, but in a way. I feel like writing you on this stupid thing, is like when we were kids and we thougth that if we burned a letter, or wrote a letter in the sand that it would make it to heaven somehow. I keep thinking that somehow, these words, these unimportant thoughts are finding their way to you.
I love you, and I miss you hopey.
Cant wait to hug you again.
Sarah E.