Newspaper tug-of-war could become race to the bathroom

To Desperate: How about reading the column online, or buying another newspaper?

To Not Chatty: When you take your seat in the stylist's chair, say in a very friendly manner, "Whew! I had quite a day today! I don't have any energy left to chat today. I hope you don't mind." Then, respond only to queries about your hair. Your stylist might even be grateful -- by the end of the day, they are pretty sick and tired of being friendly too, I'll bet. They do it, lest the customer dislike their manner.

To Advocate: Sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes -- it's not always possible to learn otherwise for some reason. Painful as it is, you need to say nothing. She already is feeling that she has betrayed her "love." Just be ready to pick up the pieces, should she choose to continue her friendship with you.(She might not, because she knows you know something about her that she doesn't want people to know.)

oh man there'd be hair all over your book. that would be completely disgusting.

LW1: Read the column online!

OK, so L1 gave me quite a chuckle.

It seems like such a silly little thing to get your knickers in twist about, but it cracked me up anyway!

Soon, with print newspapers going the way of the DoDo, she'll be fighting over who gets to take the laptop into the john!!! Ew!

Yeah, just cut the puzzle out. Problem solved. Doesnt take an engineering degree to figure that one out.

Durango Colorado, Sigh, its so beautiful there! I need to go fishing

I'm sure the boyfriend brings Abby's section to the toilet in case of a tissue shortage. I know I do.

Today’s column isn’t providing much fodder, so I’m using this opportunity to address a very REAL issue of my own. Okay, so it’s no longer as pertinent since I moved closer to work, but still…

Dear Abby,

I live in a major metropolitan area and I take public transportation to and from work every day. I work at the last “downtown” stop of one of the train lines, and I live almost at the very northern end of that line. My commute takes me over an hour each way.

Everyday on my ride home, almost everyone has exited my train car by at least three stops before I get off. However, I have run into a recurring problem for those last three stops. Since I get on before most other people, I always have a seat; being the courteous person I am, I move to the inside so others can sit down. Perhaps because of this, I frequently find myself alone in the car with one other person, who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I find this extremely weird, and when I am on the outside seat, I move to another seat. My friends say this is rude, I say it’s not because it’s not like I make a comment about the person’s body odor and then move. I just think it’s weird to be sitting next to one another when the whole rest of the car is empty.

I’m not totally sure how to extract myself from the situation when I am sitting in the inside seat, because I have to climb over the person in order to move. For this reason, I usually try to sit in the seats that face out, but that’s not always possible.

Help!

Maruska wrote:

Today’s column isn’t providing much fodder, so I’m using this opportunity to address a very REAL issue of my own. Okay, so it’s no longer as pertinent since I moved closer to work, but still…
Dear Abby,
I live in a major metropolitan area and I take public transportation to and from work every day. I work at the last “downtown” stop of one of the train lines, and I live almost at the very northern end of that line. My commute takes me over an hour each way.
Everyday on my ride home, almost everyone has exited my train car by at least three stops before I get off. However, I have run into a recurring problem for those last three stops. Since I get on before most other people, I always have a seat; being the courteous person I am, I move to the inside so others can sit down. Perhaps because of this, I frequently find myself alone in the car with one other person, who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I find this extremely weird, and when I am on the outside seat, I move to another seat. My friends say this is rude, I say it’s not because it’s not like I make a comment about the person’s body odor and then move. I just think it’s weird to be sitting next to one another when the whole rest of the car is empty.
I’m not totally sure how to extract myself from the situation when I am sitting in the inside seat, because I have to climb over the person in order to move. For this reason, I usually try to sit in the seats that face out, but that’s not always possible.
Help!

I'd simply get up and move (even if on the inside), while saying, "Excuse me, there are so many empty seats. Why don't I move and give us both more room?" How can anyone argue with that?

Maruska!

Good morning you titian-haired goddess!

Just move. It's not rude. I'm on one of the last stops on my El line and I'll move in that situation. And if I'm on the inside seat I'm happy when the other person moves.

You don't know the other person, so what does it matter?

If you feel you HAVE to say SOMETHIG, just say, "Excuse me, I want to spread out a bit."

Maruska,

I feel your pain! I have the same problem at the gym. The place will be empty, yet some big sweaty guy who smells awful (acceptable since we're at the gym, but nonetheless unpleasant) will climb on the cardio machine right next to me! Sometimes the smell is so overwhelming that I cut my workout short to get away from it. Some people just have no concept of personal space and proper social protocol.

The funny thing is that with your train situation, the other person is probably just as uncomfortable and trying just as hard as you are to plan an escape, so you shouldn't worry about offending them by moving. They'll probably be as relieved as you would be if they moved.

Maruska,
you probably wouldn't even have to explain you need space. Just say "excuse me" as you would if you have to get off, then instead of getting off sit in another seat. And don't even worry that they will notice you didnt get off and get offended. For all they know, you were confused about where your stop is.

As for the haircutting thing, I too don't enjoy small talk. The stylist usually gets the message by my non-chattiness.

Maruska wrote:

Today’s column isn’t providing much fodder, so I’m using this opportunity to address a very REAL issue of my own. Okay, so it’s no longer as pertinent since I moved closer to work, but still…
Dear Abby,
I live in a major metropolitan area and I take public transportation to and from work every day. I work at the last “downtown” stop of one of the train lines, and I live almost at the very northern end of that line. My commute takes me over an hour each way.
Everyday on my ride home, almost everyone has exited my train car by at least three stops before I get off. However, I have run into a recurring problem for those last three stops. Since I get on before most other people, I always have a seat; being the courteous person I am, I move to the inside so others can sit down. Perhaps because of this, I frequently find myself alone in the car with one other person, who is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I find this extremely weird, and when I am on the outside seat, I move to another seat. My friends say this is rude, I say it’s not because it’s not like I make a comment about the person’s body odor and then move. I just think it’s weird to be sitting next to one another when the whole rest of the car is empty.
I’m not totally sure how to extract myself from the situation when I am sitting in the inside seat, because I have to climb over the person in order to move. For this reason, I usually try to sit in the seats that face out, but that’s not always possible.
Help!

Hi Maruska, another option is to get up and excuse yourself and go to a different car. The person you are sitting next too will know no better and you wont have to make up an excuse. They will think you either A)got of the train or B) went to the restroom (Im assuming you are on the metra line if you are in AH?)

Dear Abby

I did my detective work like you suggested. It turns out that my bf is purposely trying to keep me from your sage advice. He said you fill my head with all kinds of mamby-pampby irrational ideas - and HE doesn't like to deal with the consequences.

He even said he would be willing to give me Suduko AND the comics - but he is keeping you.

Do i move out - or should I secretly subscribe to a second newspaper whic i would have delivered to the back door?

Please respond via smoke signals - it is the only reliable method of communication that my bf won't be suspicious of.(or you could spell your name backwards)

Still Desperate and still in Durango

I have actually changed hairdressers because of excessive chattiness. One of them would talk loudly right through my head to other people in the salon. She also dished gossip about people in our small town, and fished for gossip that I might know.

DESPERATE IN DURANGO wrote:

Dear Abby
I did my detective work like you suggested. It turns out that my bf is purposely trying to keep me from your sage advice. He said you fill my head with all kinds of mamby-pampby irrational ideas - and HE doesn't like to deal with the consequences.
He even said he would be willing to give me Suduko AND the comics - but he is keeping you.
Do i move out - or should I secretly subscribe to a second newspaper whic i would have delivered to the back door?
Please respond via smoke signals - it is the only reliable method of communication that my bf won't be suspicious of.(or you could spell your name backwards)
Still Desperate and still in Durango

*snicker*

Nice!

Rational wrote:

Yeah, just cut the puzzle out. Problem solved. Doesnt take an engineering degree to figure that one out.
Durango Colorado, Sigh, its so beautiful there! I need to go fishing

So go!

In response to the advocate for happiness--Try to convince you engaged friend to break the engagement or postpone the wedding. Yes, it might be embarrassing, stressful or expensive--but way less so than a divorce!!! If she regrets moving in, there is a problem. Enlist your other friends or her family to support her in making the decision to break it off (if you can do so without violating her confidence.) One of my best friends confided the same reservations before her wedding, but when I told her to back out of it, she said, "everyone's expecting a wedding." She came back from her honeymoon, said she'd made a mistake and filed for divorce. If it's right, she can always marry the guy later. And if he's not willing to wait until she feels sure, neither is right for each other.

Stina wrote:

<quoted text>
So go!

Good morning, lovely!

Though I guess it's afternoon there, huh?

Good afternoon, lovely!

Well wrote:

I'm sure the boyfriend brings Abby's section to the toilet in case of a tissue shortage. I know I do.

Ever pragmatic, eh, Well?:)

Hogging the bathroom while reading the paper is thoughtless and just plain disgusting. I wonder if the boyfriend has other selfish habits that your correspondent isn't mentioning!

However, she is not helpless; she can read the paper on-line, as I do every day, and can also download and print the Sudoko.