no time to waffle when the waitress has a gun

No need to carry a concealed waffle when you're pouring bad coffee! Hello. I was minding my own business over a coffee regulah when suddenly... I see myself coming out of a fryolator in Dracut. What? When? Date or year or decade? Where? How? All those questions of the trade broke like a yolk. I want a police report! I want particulars! I want a lawyer! To be associated with murderers, a bad tipping Senator, a gangster. And done with such Dispatch. I'd rather take two in the hat. This is worse than bad coffee regulah. And though I don't know you, remember you, or remember the incident or the place, let me say with utter conviction: I'm sure you don't know how to make a coffee regulah.

Don't like da waffle M...F.... Bam! Bam!
How about a little more diversity, Bam, Bam, Bam!