following christ

United States

#208 May 11, 2012
Another Ex wrote:
I use to attend New Life too, and everything Ex-Member says is absolutly true. I might also add, that in the beginning, this was actually a bible-teaching, solid church, but as membership grew, so did pride. By the time I left the church, it was being taught that the members should be subservent to the pastor since he was head of the church. That is false teaching... the pastor is a shephard, not an overlord. Christ is the head of the Church. Most of the people there at the time fought over who was going to wash Karen Ford's feet, or go hunting with Max. It seemed there was more Ford worship in that place than worship of God. They stopped teaching out of the Bible and started using books by false teachers and prophets that promoted loving self more than loving God. When I left the church, their doctrine was wrong, their motives were wrong, and their direction was wrong.
ahh so sad 2 hear that but what I've heard so far bout that is not GOD or what CHRIST has done or nothing its just been bout max so glad the LORD has revealed thst 2 u n u got out n didn't keep with something that is not bout GOD n all bout man I'll be praying 4 u n GOD n bless u n ur family!!
hehehe

Broken Arrow, OK

#209 May 11, 2012
I haven't been to this church but it sounds like the devil is trying to break it or the Lord is trying to speak through the words of people,I'll pray the Lord blesses each and every person involved with this church and this topic. I think this is appropriate:
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour---1 Peter 5:8, King James Version
For those of you who want to read it...for the others just skip over it so my belief will not be forced upon you :-)
Jewell

Canton, TX

#210 Jun 10, 2012
A crusty old man walks into the New Life Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church".

The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church".

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language.

They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

"I see", said pastor Max. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"
Fred

United States

#211 Jun 12, 2012
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
'That preacher Max said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
Randy

United States

#212 Jun 16, 2012
The Lord will provide:

Pastor Max was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.

"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the Pastor Max paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
Dusty

Coventry, RI

#213 Jun 18, 2012
This particular Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' Pastor Max began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.'Without you, we are but dust...'

He would have continued but at that moment a very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice,'Mom, what is butt dust?'
Lord

United States

#214 Jun 19, 2012
And Lo, did Republican Jesus come down among the masses and holding his tablet PC, did he give unto his disciples the NEW (and improved) Ten Commandments.“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Socialism, out of the house of Communism.”


1. You shall have no other gods before me, especially that terrorist monkey god, Mohammed.[i]


2. You shall not make for yourself any carved image; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them except for the Holy Benjamins. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting poverty of the fathers on the children of those (as in those people) who hate me, but showering material riches unto thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments. Also, you shall have guns. All you want.


3. You shall not take the name of your God, Ronald Reagan, in vain, for the Lord will hold him guiltless of treason and malfeasance.
Lord

United States

#215 Jun 19, 2012
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. If you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, six days you shall labor and do all your work, that should just about do it for the year[ii], but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor the stranger who is within your country illegally unless they are off the books then they shall work all seven days without respite. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, including dinosaur bones and rested the seventh day.


5. Honor your father and your mother by ensuring that they keep their Social Security even as you shall taketh it away from all others.


6. You shall not murder unless they are Muslim. Or gay. Or abortion doctors. Or government workers. Or black. Or whatever group is currently out of favor with mine chosen White (not white, White) People.

7. You shall not commit adultery and get caught during an election year.

8. You shall not steal unless it’s from the workers’ pensions.[iii]


9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Just kidding, Mr. Beck.

10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s. Instead, you shall go forth and buy these things for yourself on credit and keep the “too big to fail” banks happy.
plain

Douglas, GA

#216 Jun 20, 2012
Lord wrote:
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. If you are a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, six days you shall labor and do all your work, that should just about do it for the year[ii], but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor the stranger who is within your country illegally unless they are off the books then they shall work all seven days without respite. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, including dinosaur bones and rested the seventh day.
5. Honor your father and your mother by ensuring that they keep their Social Security even as you shall taketh it away from all others.
6. You shall not murder unless they are Muslim. Or gay. Or abortion doctors. Or government workers. Or black. Or whatever group is currently out of favor with mine chosen White (not white, White) People.
7. You shall not commit adultery and get caught during an election year.
8. You shall not steal unless it’s from the workers’ pensions.[iii]
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Just kidding, Mr. Beck.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s. Instead, you shall go forth and buy these things for yourself on credit and keep the “too big to fail” banks happy.
Looks like this liberal democrap needs to get off the meth for awile this post is about New Life church you idiot. Try watching something on tv besides msnbc and lay off the wacky weed.
Jan

United States

#217 Jul 1, 2012
You will never convince them of anything they disagree with. The reason they know they are always right is, they believe in god. I have heard this logic used to defend everything from racism, bigotry and absolute proof every scientist alive is, or dead and was, lying. I recently asked a christian what he was using for proof that the planet is only 6000 years old. His answer was actually "he believed in god and that's all the proof he needed". I have been waiting for two weeks for him to show me the passage in the bible where jesus taught his followers to be hate filled, racist, bigots. He and most christians have no need to explain to anyone why they feel the only way to honor their beloved savior is to be the exact opposite of everything he taught them to be. Then again, the fact that most of them here in the south are ignorant yahoos, helps explain why they are incapable of being anything else.
Jerry

Call, TX

#218 Jul 8, 2012
Preacher Max was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

Lyle Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims,'If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Lincoln every year and his wife with a Ford mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in relief and applauds.

Larry Strawman , a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Violent Wore , age 88, stands and announces with a smile,'If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her 'Mrs. Wore, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Violent's 90 year old husband Goss is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help and he said 'Screw the Preacher!'
Adam

United States

#219 Jul 8, 2012
Jerry would end up in hell, but Satan has a restraining order against him.
West Side Story

Haskell, OK

#220 Jul 9, 2012
Jan wrote:
You will never convince them of anything they disagree with. The reason they know they are always right is, they believe in god. I have heard this logic used to defend everything from racism, bigotry and absolute proof every scientist alive is, or dead and was, lying. I recently asked a christian what he was using for proof that the planet is only 6000 years old. His answer was actually "he believed in god and that's all the proof he needed". I have been waiting for two weeks for him to show me the passage in the bible where jesus taught his followers to be hate filled, racist, bigots. He and most christians have no need to explain to anyone why they feel the only way to honor their beloved savior is to be the exact opposite of everything he taught them to be. Then again, the fact that most of them here in the south are ignorant yahoos, helps explain why they are incapable of being anything else.
As a Christian, I believe God's Word (the Bible) is the final authority on all things; however, God's Word also tells us that we are to be ready at any given moment to explain to an unbelieving world why we believe what we do. To use only "I believe in God" as an answer to someone's question isn't a Biblically solid answer. Even satan believes in God, and he is the father of lies. To answer your question about the age of the earth, even Christians are devided on that answer. I personally believe that Earth is around 6000 years old, and the reason I do is because if you go back to Genesis the Bible provides the days of creation and all birth and ages of death of Adam and his decendants up until the fossil age. When you calculate those up and add to it the rest of history, then you come up with a number that shows the Earth to be somewhere around 6000 years old. Other Christians use Genesis 1:2 to say that there was an Earth prior to the creation of man and that would account for all the 1 million year old bones found. I think there are flaws in both theories, and if the truth be known, no one is going to have an absolute answer to that question until God gives it Himself.
Colgate

United States

#221 Jul 9, 2012
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and sh!t a better argument.
Tis sad that people are stupid and believe anything if it is written down. Believe this:
No cure for STUPID!!!
TheTurd

Broken Arrow, OK

#222 Jul 14, 2012
p00py
TheTurd

Broken Arrow, OK

#223 Jul 16, 2012
the 1Df never the syrian army they had sense to wait wif their exgerman commandtnhey are waiting
Benny

United States

#224 Jul 17, 2012
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called woman.

God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is history...
Oscar

Houston, TX

#225 Jul 22, 2012
Islam teaches that it is one thing to defend yourself, and something else entirely to murder. The Qur’an specifically states:


“Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, and do not transgress; for Allah loveth not transgressors. But if they cease (fighting you), Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”(2:190-192)

“But if the enemy incline towards peace, do thou (also) incline towards peace, and trust in Allah: for He is the One that Heareth and Knoweth (all things).”(8:61)
Mitt

Conroe, TX

#226 Jul 22, 2012
”… and let not the hatred of some people in (once) shutting you out of the Sacred Mosque lead you to transgression (and hostility on your part). Help ye one another in righteousness and piety, but help ye not one another in sin and rancour: fear Allah: for Allah is strict in punishment.”(5:2)

Furthermore, Islam teaches that while it is acceptable to “return the favor,” patience, kindness and understanding are is far more preferable, and to let things slide


“And if ye do punish them, punish them no worse than they punished you: but if ye show patience, that is indeed the best (course) for those who are patient.”(16:26)
hey

Bossier City, LA

#227 Jul 26, 2012
Yeah u guys all talking about them but when they give something away everyone of u r there to get it

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