TORN

Chattanooga, TN

#1 Jun 7, 2012
I need advice. If you love someone, truley love someone and you feel that you are not making them happy any more and that because of circumstance beyond your control that they might be thinking that they would be happier with someone else. do you keep on trying and not give up like you promised to do, or do you let them go out of love for the person. i really love someone, but more and more I am feeling that they are question their decision to have me in their life. i want so desprately to be the one who make them smile but is it fair to stay if I in my gut dont think they are happy with me any more but wont say it so as not to hurt me.
Dr Phil

Cleveland, TN

#2 Jun 7, 2012
You say "might be thinking" and "i am questioning", so it appears you are assuming all of this. Sit down with the person,have a heart to heart discussion and find out the "real facts".
If they don't want to be with you anymore you have to let them go, you cannot force someone to stay with you or to love you when they just simply do not.
Life seems cruel sometimes but in the end you will see it was for the best for both of you.
You do not surely want this person to have an unhappy life just to make you happy, it does not work that way.
Remember, "get things and true feelings out in the open, it will be much easier. Good Luck.
TORN

Chattanooga, TN

#3 Jun 7, 2012
i do agree and I have tried this approach yet I feel as tho at this point they are trying to spare my feelings I have no doubt love is there just not sure if they are in love and i think at this point they are trying to avoid the issue. no I surely dont want them unhappy. the response is that all is fine yet the actions are speaking differently
well

Charlotte, NC

#4 Jun 7, 2012
TORN wrote:
i do agree and I have tried this approach yet I feel as tho at this point they are trying to spare my feelings I have no doubt love is there just not sure if they are in love and i think at this point they are trying to avoid the issue. no I surely dont want them unhappy. the response is that all is fine yet the actions are speaking differently
give it up plenty of fish in the sea! Stop hanging on to something that isn't there life is to short
do this

Cleveland, TN

#5 Jun 7, 2012
I believe that YOU may be holding them back and they do not want to hurt you.Do them a favor, just step out of the picture and go your own direction,someone will be waiting for you.
also

Cleveland, TN

#6 Jun 7, 2012
Just say what George Washington said when crossing the Potomac,"If this damn boats get's a hole in it i'll just get me another one!"
TORN

Chattanooga, TN

#7 Jun 7, 2012
do this wrote:
I believe that YOU may be holding them back and they do not want to hurt you.Do them a favor, just step out of the picture and go your own direction,someone will be waiting for you.
Holding them back from....? leaving? what if do that and I was wrong? I really dont want to lose this person and they say that they want to be with me and that they love me....its just things have been really different lately and I can see that sometimes they are emotionally and mentally absent
Duh

Lumberton, NC

#8 Jun 7, 2012
TORN wrote:
<quoted text>Holding them back from....? leaving? what if do that and I was wrong? I really dont want to lose this person and they say that they want to be with me and that they love me....its just things have been really different lately and I can see that sometimes they are emotionally and mentally absent
Take the clue and leave your not wanted
advise you to

Cleveland, TN

#9 Jun 7, 2012
TORN wrote:
<quoted text>Holding them back from....? leaving? what if do that and I was wrong? I really dont want to lose this person and they say that they want to be with me and that they love me....its just things have been really different lately and I can see that sometimes they are emotionally and mentally absent
Johnson Mental Health center is located on the north side of Dayton on Hwy. 27 just north of Time Saver Market on the right, please make you an appointment.
Advice

Knoxville, TN

#10 Jun 13, 2012
TORN wrote:
<quoted text>Holding them back from....? leaving? what if do that and I was wrong? I really dont want to lose this person and they say that they want to be with me and that they love me....its just things have been really different lately and I can see that sometimes they are emotionally and mentally absent
I was in a similiar situation. My grandmother always told me that a relationship is like a caged bird, if you free the bird and it returns to you - it is yours but if it does not return it wasn't yours to begin with. To brake it down in simple terms, I felt as if my husbands mind was always absent while he was home with me, he would never talk to me unless it was about the guys he worked with. He was always very hateful, he wanted sex all of the time but didn't want to give me intimacy in return. I packed a suitcase when he went to work one morning & I stayed gone for almost 1 week. He called my phone about a thousand times but I didn't answer. I finally went back while he was at work and when he got home he was so happy that I was back that he started crying. This happened about 2 months ago and now he is very attentive to me & rarely ever runs out of things to talk about, he doesn't talk about work anymore. I wrote him a dear John letter telling him our marriage had ran its course because in all honesty I thought it had but I was wrong. Sometimes people need a wake up call.
Just Me

Nickelsville, VA

#11 Jun 13, 2012
Well done advice, Sometimes that works, sometimes it don't. But it worked for you,& for that I'm happy!:)
fact

Cleveland, TN

#12 Jun 13, 2012
i'm happy for everybody!
Dont worry pray

Englewood, CO

#13 Jun 13, 2012
Just pray about it im in a marriage and i know its wrong i wanted to leave for the longest time. for no reason i was just done being married. but i took it to the lord in prayer and i still with the same woman. and thank god because she is my soulmate.
Advice

Knoxville, TN

#14 Jun 14, 2012
Just Me wrote:
Well done advice, Sometimes that works, sometimes it don't. But it worked for you,& for that I'm happy!:)
Thank you. If it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be & at that point you fight the tears back and enjoy starting a new life.

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