Quotes

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard."
"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good."
"In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
"Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary."
"All government, in its essence, is a conspiracy against the superior man: its one permanent object is to oppress him and cripple him. If it be aristocratic in organization, then it seeks to protect the man who is superior only in law against the man who is superior in fact; if it be democratic, then it seeks to protect the man who is inferior in every way against both. One of its primary functions is to regiment men by force, to make them as much alike as possible and as dependent upon one another as possible, to search out and combat originality among them. All it can see in an original idea is potential change, and hence an invasion of its prerogatives. The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are."
-HL Mencken

Theres a time to give a f*ck & a time not to give a f*ck..Me..

Did we stand for it when the Japanese bombed Pearl Habor?(John Belushi)

Past History wrote:

Did we stand for it when the Japanese bombed Pearl Habor?(John Belushi)

Otter: "I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part."

Bluto (John Belushi): "We're just the guys to do it."

and...

Dean Wormer: "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

- Ayn Rand

"We all get confused about the contradictory messages that life and politics send.

Life sends the message, "I'd better not be poor. I'd better get rich. I'd better make more money than other people." Meanwhile, politics sends us the message, "Some people make more money than others. Some are rich while others are poor. We'd better close that 'income disparity gap.' It's not fair!"

Well, I am here to advocate for unfairness. I've got a 10-year-old at home. She's always saying, "That's not fair." When she says this, I say, "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. Your family is pretty well off. That's not fair. You were born in America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you."

PJ O'Rourke

Oh Lord give me chastity,but do not give it yet..Saint Augustine

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

-- Abe Lincoln

I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. Smells like victory.

Kilgore in "Apocalypse Now."

If you don't keep an eye on your money, somebody else will.

-- My Dad

hotter than two rats rubbing together in a wool sock Town drunk

- A bank is a place that will loan you money if you can prove to them you don't need it- ipod app

"If you cheated on you once, he'll do it again"

My mom...well, that's the last one who said it to me.

So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: "Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is." Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.
- Mark Twain

"Shoot low boys, they're riding shetland ponies"
-English pejorative toward the Scots. Also the title of a book by Lewis Grizzard, the late southern humorist.

"Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself."
John Adams

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Steve Martin

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
Dennis Miller

"If you cheat on your wife, you cheat on your kids."

--Chris Rock