Does your teenager make you feel like you're going insane?

I've done all I can as a parent and my oldest daughter still acts like a manipulative psycho! She's almost 18. Guess shes goin to find out the rough way.
Anyone else feel like i do? You're story?

Kick her out and slap her like a tough man.

When she turns 18 she's planning on quitting school & finding a hubby to take care of her. Smart child of mine! UGH!
This child has cried rape (lie) and has said she was abused by a man (lie). She is spiralling downhill. Do I sit back and watch or put her in a mental institution before she's 18?

She's crying for help. Please call someone for her. If you can't afford professional help, even if you're not religious, call a church. That's just my opinion.

I am very serious about this, Dad. If you know what's good for you you will let her go and hope for the best and expect the worst. If you try to support her and help out she will take advantage of you as long as she can. Even if she gets married. Especially if she gets married. You may end up supporting her and her husband, like we did. But once those precious grandbabies start coming along, how can you say no? We have given them a free place to live for the last 10 yrs, helped them out with money to keep electricity on and make sure babies have what they need. I've kept the kids almost any time they asked me to. I am especially close to my granddaughter. She's the oldest. She spent weekends and summers with us. NOW, after I complained about her half-sister's boyfriend yelling at my granddaughter and bossing her around in her own house (ours) I'm sitting here with a totally broken heart because they won't let me see the kids. It has been 5 months since I've seen them. And they are telling them anything they can to try and turn them against us. She also has cried rape and abuse (lie & lie). You sound like you are heading down the same road we have traveled. Let her go and make her own way, find out how to support herself. She most likely will not thank you if you help her.

Dad wrote:

When she turns 18 she's planning on quitting school & finding a hubby to take care of her. Smart child of mine! UGH!
This child has cried rape (lie) and has said she was abused by a man (lie). She is spiralling downhill. Do I sit back and watch or put her in a mental institution before she's 18?

She needs help, fast. Seems she has her head packed full of Cinderella Shyt. In the real world hubby usually hits the door 3 months after marriage and knocks someone else up as well. This began ages ago if she screamed rape and it was a lie. Does she get by with alot? It will be hard to undo old habits but you can try before it's too late. Do not let her manipulate your nerves or your emotions. When you say no stick to it. She will have to learn fast, if that means dragging her to counseling or the morgue do it. If single mothers can give her insight on how their lives really are compared to what they dreamed they'd be she needs to hear it and see it. Make her see she needs skills to get and keep a job in the outside world. Being pretty or being a baby maker only got women laid flat on their back nothing more. Life out their will eat her alive with the attitude she has now. The real world won't care what she screams or if she screams at all.

Wonder wrote:

She's crying for help. Please call someone for her. If you can't afford professional help, even if you're not religious, call a church. That's just my opinion.

Done it! Done it! Done it! You name it, I've tried to help her!
Not crying for help! I know that for a fact!

Dad wrote:

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Done it! Done it! Done it! You name it, I've tried to help her!
Not crying for help! I know that for a fact!

Then get counseling for yourself. You need to learn how to detach yourself from her problems, how to deal with all this stress. I know you want to but you can't fix everything for her now like when she was little. She won't let you even if you could. You could be put through the ringer as long as you stay attached to her drama train. Watch it from a distance, don't get caught up in it. Because while your staying awake worrying she will be sleeping soundly, or she will be off on a different tangent. If she knows it all and refuses to listen to anyone there's not much you can do for her. Love her but let go. She will be an adult, adults are responsible for the choices they make. No need to give her money or let her live rent free in your home if she is ready to jump head first into the fire. Once she moves out she is officially independent of you. All forms of freedom has their price. Most young girls never see the truth that they run away from one man's home just to run into the home of another man. It would be nice if our society encouraged women to build their own careers, make their own homes before getting married and settling down.

lol she sounds like a total loser. Don't feel bad because there are a lot of people out there just like her. The worst that could happen is you end up taking care of 4 or 5 grand kids.

The problem is probably very simple. Take a look at the people she interacts with at school or on the internet. Certainly if her behavior and grades were good but all of a sudden tanked, she's probably hanging out with the wrong people. Consider the places she hangs out, TV shows she watches, clothes she buys.

Young people are usually free spirited, but don't confuse this with exercising free will. Basically, young people do not have free will of their own, if they hang out with losers, they become losers.

Hitting her with bible quotes, threatening her, taking her to a freaking morgue like Well said in order to put the fear of Satan in her, those are all fine ideas. But let's get real here. That stuff doesn't work.

ALWAYS!!! It must be something in the water!

Take her to the DR. Phil show.

(1) She's 18, you can't commit her anywhere, she would have to commit herself.

(2) You are in an abusive relationship and you are the victim. Take your life back, take your home back and tell her to get out. If she won't, go get eviction papers and have the police get her out. Unless you do, this will only get worse and five, ten years from now, you'll still be here on Topix, asking for the same advice.

(3) You are also contributing to her irresponsibility, manipulation and destructive behavior by allowing it to go on in your own home. Most people grow out of that pretty fast when they have to get a job to survive, because that sh!t don't cut it in the real world.

(4) Now lay down the law. Make a list of things you will NOT tolerate and the things you expect to be done. At the end of the list, write down the consequences: eviction.

Trust me, you have to be strong. Your heart may walk out the door with her, but when she comes back (she will), she will love and respect you for the wake-up call.

To do nothing is to contribute to the problem. No action on your part is a decision and a statement itself, that you are willing to let the abuse and lying and manipulation continue. Don't do it. You deserve a life, too.

My opinion is that maybe she feels that she doesn't get enough attetnion. When kids feel that way, they will get it however they can. The way she is going about it may seem horrible but kids do it all the time. I am almost positive that there is an underlying problem. She really needs to talk to someone that genuinely cares about what her feelings are. The last thing you want to do is give up on her, but I would make sure I gave her consequences for her actions and followed through with them. Remind her that she ISN'T 18 yet. My mom busted my ass on my 18th birthday.....our kids are never too old for a good ass busting!!

Oh Lord, help me...I'll have 4 teenagers at one time...19, 18, 14, and 13!

I know that my little brother was into all kinds of trouble. Mom and Dad put up with it for a long time. But one day they had to come to the conclusion that there wasn't anything else they could do for him. They tried it all. Some kids are just rebellious. They finally met him at the door with his bags ready for him. As hard as it is for a parent to do, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. I'm sure you've heard the saying before, "If you're gonna live in my house, you're gonna follow my rules." If she doesn't follow your rules, put her out. If she wants to be a woman, let her see what being a woman is all about. I'm all for giving second chances cause everyone messes up in some shape, form or fashion but I'm a firm believer that you can't allow someone to run over you.

Save Yourself wrote:

(1) She's 18, you can't commit her anywhere, she would have to commit herself.
(2) You are in an abusive relationship and you are the victim. Take your life back, take your home back and tell her to get out. If she won't, go get eviction papers and have the police get her out. Unless you do, this will only get worse and five, ten years from now, you'll still be here on Topix, asking for the same advice.
(3) You are also contributing to her irresponsibility, manipulation and destructive behavior by allowing it to go on in your own home. Most people grow out of that pretty fast when they have to get a job to survive, because that sh!t don't cut it in the real world.
(4) Now lay down the law. Make a list of things you will NOT tolerate and the things you expect to be done. At the end of the list, write down the consequences: eviction.
Trust me, you have to be strong. Your heart may walk out the door with her, but when she comes back (she will), she will love and respect you for the wake-up call.
To do nothing is to contribute to the problem. No action on your part is a decision and a statement itself, that you are willing to let the abuse and lying and manipulation continue. Don't do it. You deserve a life, too.

and where is she going? to grandma's. that's usually what happens. they go to a relative. the girl will get mad at the relative,thus causing daddy to get mad at the relative. daddy will take her back,she will threaten to go back to the mean relative if daddy doesn't treat her better.
wait untill she's 22.have started her in college 2 times and she's kicked out for bad grades.try to get her in a 3rd time with promises she will do better.when there is a job available, her foot hurts,she has a headache, she's constipated.she's depressed because life is so hard. it must be hard, i know it takes a long time to get rested up.
oops,sorry. i got carried away. the second paragraph is about my son. the only good thing i can say about him..he's too lazy to get a girl pregnant.i just hope no girl accidently falls onto his bed.

Dad wrote:

I've done all I can as a parent and my oldest daughter still acts like a manipulative psycho! She's almost 18. Guess shes goin to find out the rough way.
Anyone else feel like i do? You're story?

I went back and re-read this. Now I see you said she's ALMOST 18, but not 18 yet, so my advice about kicking her out... well, you probably can't. But you could call DHS, I don't know. They might place her in a foster home. Tough love, but it might be in her best interest.

Secondly, you said she's your "oldest daughter," implying you have more kids? Are they living in the same home, witnessing all this? Don't mean to make it worse but you do realize, don't you, that if you do nothing to correct the problems with your oldest daughter, there is a chance the younger ones will learn they can get away with the same treatment of you.

Please do something. By not doing anything, you are giving your silent approval. By not doing anything, your younger kids will emulate their oldest sister. If she runs to a relative, let her go and change the locks. They, too, will find out she is a manipulator and come to understand why you kicked her out and/or let her stay gone, and wish they had never allowed her admittance to their home.

You deserve a life and to be happy, and so do your younger kids, whether they live with you or visit. Those younger ones are learning from you. Not just to copy what their sister does, no. The younger ones are learning a life path: whether to do nothing and take no action when someone runs over you, or whether to stand your ground, say what you mean and mean what you say. Teach your younger children how to stand their ground, by standing yours. Good luck.

While you still have control until she turns 18, get her some professional help. She may need to be instuitionalized (sp) for a while. That's okay, because years later she will thank you for it. You love her and want only the best for her and seems her choices aren't the best. Don't wipe your hands of her. You have to step up and make choices for her and hope and pray for the best. My thoughts will be with you.

Save Yourself wrote:

(1) She's 18, you can't commit her anywhere, she would have to commit herself.
(2) You are in an abusive relationship and you are the victim. Take your life back, take your home back and tell her to get out. If she won't, go get eviction papers and have the police get her out. Unless you do, this will only get worse and five, ten years from now, you'll still be here on Topix, asking for the same advice.
(3) You are also contributing to her irresponsibility, manipulation and destructive behavior by allowing it to go on in your own home. Most people grow out of that pretty fast when they have to get a job to survive, because that sh!t don't cut it in the real world.
(4) Now lay down the law. Make a list of things you will NOT tolerate and the things you expect to be done. At the end of the list, write down the consequences: eviction.
Trust me, you have to be strong. Your heart may walk out the door with her, but when she comes back (she will), she will love and respect you for the wake-up call.
To do nothing is to contribute to the problem. No action on your part is a decision and a statement itself, that you are willing to let the abuse and lying and manipulation continue. Don't do it. You deserve a life, too.

Very good advice but she's not 18, she's not going to be 18 until next year. She's a junior in high school. I can't kick her out and I've not "done nothing"! She's been going to counseling since she was 11. Nothing works. She tells everyone what she thinks they want to hear. She is manipulative! Until you are around someone like that, it's hard to understand. Many rules have been in motion for years and I stick to them.
Like I said, good advice if she was 18 but I said she's "almost 18". Thank you. I know that will help someone else out there.

Dad wrote:

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Very good advice but she's not 18, she's not going to be 18 until next year. She's a junior in high school. I can't kick her out and I've not "done nothing"! She's been going to counseling since she was 11. Nothing works. She tells everyone what she thinks they want to hear. She is manipulative! Until you are around someone like that, it's hard to understand. Many rules have been in motion for years and I stick to them.
Like I said, good advice if she was 18 but I said she's "almost 18". Thank you. I know that will help someone else out there.

Bless your heart. I know what your going through, loving your kid dearly but knowing every other word that comes out of their mouth is a lie can make you sick to your stomach with disappointment. This happens because somewhere in the past they screamed and cried until they got their way, then they continued the pattern because it always works on most people. What do you do when you have a son that says he will blow your #$@*ing head off one year then the next he says he has found Jesus when you know for a fact he hasn't, he just needs money for drugs? There are addictions that don't involve drugs, one addiction is Co-Dependency the other is Manipulative Behavior, unfortunately they sometimes exist in parent child relationship's. I learned fast I couldn't change another person, believing that and trying not to change people is a hour to hour thing. All I can do is change myself, protect myself from further manipulation and martyrdom. As long as your daughter does her thing and says another, you have no relationship, you have this game she plays and you allow. While she is in your home just protect yourself from any legal liabilities and losses even if you have to keep tabs on her or search her property. I know someone from work who to this day is still mooching off and stealing from her family and 80 year old grandmother, so you are not alone by any means. Prepare your extended family for what to expect when she cries to live with them because you are so mean and cruel. They may not believe you but soon they will find out what she is really like. Until she is ready to change there is nothing you can do for her. Tell her you love her, hug the stuffing out of her but don't give her money or things unless she works for it. Work is a fact of life just because she was born doesn't mean you owe her reparations or an apology. Maybe Wellmont or the local Mental Health Centers needs to start a support group for parents dealing with out of control kids? It sure is needed.

Be careful! Your teen can get many people thinking your someone totally different than who you are. They can get people against you for no reason but for the reasons they want people to believe. Teenagers these days don't have respect!