Numb

Richmond, KY

#1 May 22, 2012
First off, I am alone in this situation so yes, I come to seek the advice of strangers, so please be kind/respectful in your postings. I seek honesty and not pity as I am having a very hard time handing my grief.

I recently lost someone who literally meant the world to me. Someone who cared for me as a child and who I returned home to care for myself until this person suddenly passed away. A shock to all who knew this person. A person so kind and good to others; she always put others first.

Now, I am asking for those who have suffered the loss of a love one, what helped you cope? Are there steps of grief or a process that seems to have no end? This may seem so silly to those who have never lost a loved one, but for those who have-- what solace did you find that enabled you peace? I am a Christian woman as was she, and I know she is in a better place; but I am selfish... I wasn't ready to let go and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. What helped you cope? Books? Meditation? Is there anything out there that can numb the pain?(Please no cruel or sarcastic feedback) I welcome any advice and thank you.

Blessings
an idea

Berea, KY

#2 May 22, 2012
May God bless,comfort,& uplift you! You are in my thoughts & prayers!The best advice I could give is to lean to God & He will bring you comfort!
Also, time is the best healer! Right now you are in a state of shock, but, soon you will look back & enjoy all the sweet memories!
Advice

United States

#3 May 22, 2012
It will never get much better. But it will get easier if that makes any sense. But you will miss them until you see them again in heaven.

I will pray for you to find peace as soon as possible.
well

Richmond, KY

#4 May 22, 2012
There are stages of grief and you will experience all of them. It sounds like you might be in the anger stage at the moment which is completely normal. I do think it gets better. I think you have moments when you feel like the person has been around you and I think you can sense their spirit when you need it.

You may want to go to a bookstore and look at some of the books concerning grief. There are some good ones out there and reading them may help you.

If you have something of theirs that you can keep with you most of the time, you can use that as your connection to them and you will eventually smile every time you see/touch it.

For some of us with a very small circle of people to begin with, it's very difficult to feel further isolation on earth.

Since: May 12

United States

#5 May 22, 2012
I wish you peace and comfort in your time of mourning. I lost my best friend, my mother, five years ago and for the longest time I was sooo angry that it almost consumed me. Like you I was being selfish in wanting her here with me. But then one day I was looking at her picture and crying when it hit me how beautiful she was in that photo and how different she had looked before she died. She was a shell of the woman she had once been. And right then I said to myself that I wouldn't have her back in this world for nothing. Here she suffered in misery. She is now at peace and that brings me comfort and peace. Just cling tight to the precious memories that you shared with her and, I know this sounds crazy, but talk to her. Whether she can actually hear you or not doesnt matter. It is healing to say how you feel out loud or write it down. I wish you the best and please know that youre in my prayers.
Numb

Richmond, KY

#6 May 22, 2012
Thank you. ;-(

Honestly.

Since: Dec 10

louisville, ky

#7 May 22, 2012
I lost my father about three weeks ago...the first major loss in my life. I find solace in the memories of all the wonderful times we had, the special times, recognising the things about myself that are due to his influence....within days of finding out he was sick, he was gone....i'm blessed to have been able to say good bye, and I told him he would be with his mom and dad....and some day I will be with him...
Numb

Richmond, KY

#8 May 22, 2012
I'm sorry sweetie. ;-(

It's been a bit over a month for me and it's not getting easier.

I'm glad you got a chance to say goodbye and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Since: Dec 10

louisville, ky

#9 May 22, 2012
Thank you...I know everyone finds their way through times like this, hope it is sooner than later....it will be ok...will take time, but will be ok...he believed in God and said he knew he was going to meet Jesus and see his mom and dad...it was only hours from the time I said good-bye till he passed, and by then he wasn't responsive....I sat with him and held his hand till I was told to leave....

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