'Huge problem here'

I lost the link to the topless blog... need to go see if Thix and Owl are around.... I need my peeps

Rest in peace, Rebecca Moulton.

CellarDwellar wrote:

when will that sink into that thick skull of yours?
GO TO WORK.. EARN YOUR KEEP... then and only then do you have the RIGHT to question the system that puts the cornflakes on your table.
you welfare cheats make me ill.
If your so disabled, how do you climb onto that bicycle to ride to the park or find the strength to take your shirt off and flop out those disgusting vein popping slabs of spam you call breasts to the horror of anyone watching?>

If someone can type on a computer they can get a job. I can't judge the abuse and disability, but the person you are sparring with clearly is articulate and can type. Not sure why she isn't working.

We have mentally retarded people holding down jobs just fine. They seem to manage, in the right environment.

This welfare state we workers support is depressing....and getting bigger. My savings are being eroded by all the borrowing. You do all the right things and it still doesn't matter. If you have values and believe in earning what you consume, you are forced to also earn what many other people consume. I didn't sign up for a commune!

Katherine wrote:

<quoted text>
So the creation of art is only work if the designs are used in advertising?
<quoted text> Mom left explicit romance novels around the house, and failed to keep the adult picture magazines under lock and key. She viewed Soaps from 1-3 with me often by her side..
Mom and Dad both used alcohol and cigarettes addictively and fought regularly, over money and jealousy..
Besides being starved for quality time and attention from both parents, I learned that it is acceptable to use substances for recreation and emotional pain management..
Reading the above mentioned materials by the age of 10, helped to groom me for acting out sexually at a young age..
At that time, a man 26, I was 13 , was waiting in the wings for me, the laws against statutory rape were not well defined or enforced..
During a drunken event with that man I was injured. As the years went on I held down some jobs, all the while using and abusing alcohol and drugs..Eventually the injury, together with substance abuse problems , led to a mental breakdown, which qualified me at that time for SSDI..
I link the premature exposure to adult sexual viewing and reading materials to my demise and eventual injury..
I do not believe that I am alone in enduring the chain of events which I have described and which could have been fatal, as was in the case of Rebecca C. Moulton..
I think one part of the solution is to mandate publishers of Romance novels to print health advisories on adult reading materials and Soap Operas, which warn parents to keep these materials out of the reach of young children..

Maybe the injury is too personal to reveal, I understand.

But all the rest? Being exposed to sexually explicit material, parents fighting, drinking...all that is an excuse to not work, ever?????

I'm sure many people, perhaps yourself, deserve a helping hand from the rest of us. You certainly haven't articulated that here and give us yet another reason to question why a retirement program is paying for people who haven't even worked.

We need to change our culture in this country to one that values work, contributing vs. consuming and a little guilt around living off everyone else.

I know that if I ever become not able to support myself the guilt alone would cause me to do anything....anything to support myself and family. We do projects on the side, working evenings and most weekends, to make extra money to fund some of the things we enjoy and want to have for our future. That is after working the regular 12 hour days during the week at a salaried job.

Why do I work that hard and others don't work at all? Why do I have to pay additional taxes on the extra capital gains from these "side projects"? I will never understand why people will accept their situation and not go out and try to make a difference.

I could sit around weekends, enjoy leisure time, and not pay more into the system for everyone else, but I don't as I want more out of life. Why have so many people gotten it wrong??????

CellarDwellar wrote:

<quoted text>
Now your getting the picture... ROMANCE NOVELS...you cant make this stuff up... wait yes you can... Katherine just did.
Personally my issues stem from using multiple PEZ dispensers as a kid. my Father would just sit there, beer in hand and actually ALLOW me to flip back BOZO's head and slide in sugary candies to dispense at my leisure, very sad.

Poor Bozo no wonder you are scared for life lol thanks for the laugh i needed that..

Katherine wrote:

...I am doing the best I can to live responsibly now...
though, due to the head injury I sustained I have a hard time breathing and because of that, together with the PTSD, regulating my emotions properly..I know it sounds like an excuse but at this time I am grateful to be supported by SSDI..

The injury was revealed here..

Religion Kills wrote:

<quoted text>
Maybe the injury is too personal to reveal, I understand. But all the rest? Being exposed to sexually explicit material, parents fighting, drinking...all that is an excuse to not work, ever????? We need to change our culture in this country to one that values work, contributing vs. consuming and a little guilt around living off everyone else.
I know that if I ever become not able to support myself the guilt alone would cause me to do anything....anything to support myself and family. We do projects on the side, working evenings and most weekends, to make extra money to fund some of the things we enjoy and want to have for our future. That is after working the regular 12 hour days during the week at a salaried job.
Why do I work that hard and others don't work at all? Why do I have to pay additional taxes on the extra capital gains from these "side projects"? I will never understand why people will accept their situation and not go out and try to make a difference.

The topic is NOT: me.
The topic is NOT: why men and women who appear as if they could be working are collecting SSDI.
The topic IS: Domestic Violence.
I have shared my own personal history to explain what I believe caused me to place myself in abusive situations which could also have been fatal..
I believe growing up in a home
with two parents who used alcohol and cigarettes habitually for recreation and pain management,(though they paid handsomely into the system and kept a good roof over our heads)
who fought regularly over money and jealousy,
who allowed their young daughter access to Jackie Collins Novels, by the age of 9, which contained excplicit ideas about sex and love,
who allowed their young daughter to view Soap Operas** daily by Moms side,
led to my acting out sexually at a young age, to my, as a child, being drawn to men who provided alcohol, drugs and cigarettes and led to my, in adulthood, being drawn to alcohol and to alcoholic men who often resorted to violence..

**(Soap Operas BTW are called "programming")(watch them for a day to see what they're 'programming' us, the people, with. Go back to the archives, and see what the 30 somethings were programmed with...)

In regards to the final quotation in this article: NO. Women die when someone takes action to harm them. The responsibility for this lies with the attacker, and NOT with the woman who decides to leave or to not leave a relationship.

The quotation about why many women stay in abusive relationships iis not false, but it should be placed in much better context given that Ms. Moulton (the latest victim) was killed after NOT leaving the relationship.

9 of 10 female victims of domestic homicide are killed by men. Let's not pretend that this statistic has something to do with women making the wrong decision. It has to do with the men who attack them.

Nessim wrote:

In regards to the final quotation in this article: NO. Women die when someone takes action to harm them. The responsibility for this lies with the attacker, and NOT with the woman who decides to leave or to not leave a relationship.
The quotation about why many women stay in abusive relationships iis not false, but it should be placed in much better context given that Ms. Moulton (the latest victim) was killed after NOT leaving the relationship.
9 of 10 female victims of domestic homicide are killed by men. Let's not pretend that this statistic has something to do with women making the wrong decision. It has to do with the men who attack them.

OMG, thank you ... thank you, Thank YOU!!! I was a little disturbed by that final line in the article, but MORE DISTRAUGHT over the ignorance behind so many of the comments posted here. People obviously have no clue/understanding what Domestic Violence really is, and I appreciate your comment! Wonderful post.

No woman or child should everbe hit and it's NEVER their fault!

And anyone who uses the excuse that they had a crapy childhood is bs! We are the creators of our own happiness anyone can change you just have to want to. I think that's why woman stay because they love and believe that the abuser will change and some do but others as in this case do not.

Nessim wrote:

In regards to the final quotation in this article: NO. Women die when someone takes action to harm them. The responsibility for this lies with the attacker, and NOT with the woman who decides to leave or to not leave a relationship.
The quotation about why many women stay in abusive relationships iis not false, but it should be placed in much better context given that Ms. Moulton (the latest victim) was killed after NOT leaving the relationship.
9 of 10 female victims of domestic homicide are killed by men. Let's not pretend that this statistic has something to do with women making the wrong decision. It has to do with the men who attack them.

Men, women and children suffering long term in relationships entrenched with violence, verbal and physical,
and women(and men) being killed by fatal blows,
has to do with women(and men) being "programmed" by parents,
who use substances addictively in the home for recreation and pain management,
who are neglectful with and distracted by sexually based reading and viewing materials and
who are physically, emotionally and sexually abusive or neglectful from early childhood to both boys and girls in the home..
These statistics also have to do with
the multitude of media "programming" purposely designed to over-power the wills of men, women and children..
The responsibility for this, for preventing Domestic Violence, lies with society at large and with parents in general,
to create a community of citizens who
are capable of respecting the personal physical and emotional space of others,
who do not use verbal abuse and/or corporal punishment in the raising of children, both boys and girls,
and who are not chronicly distracted with and driven by money, sex, and recreational activities..
The first victim this year was Mr. Arthur Martin, he also died after choosing to NOT leave the relationship..
Your post continues to beg that us women take no responsibilty for the trouble we get ourselves into, and that we should continue to project the image that are weak and dependant on men for our own lives..

...oh, no. Here we go again. :(

been there wrote:

...oh, no. Here we go again.:(

"I'm a no-limit soldier, I could flow all year.."
I'll never stop advocating that men AND women, society at large, and parents in general take responsibility for the physical , emotional mental, and sexual health of ALL people..
I'll know we're on the right track, when
The Handbook to Higher Consciousness is required reading from grade 9, and when it is made readily available at City Hall and Police Departments Nationwide..
:)

Aaron wrote:

And anyone who uses the excuse that they had a crapy childhood is bs! We are the creators of our own happiness anyone can change you just have to want to. I think that's why woman stay because they love and believe that the abuser will change and some do but others as in this case do not.

It is not an excuse that a man or woman who was beaten in childhood, physically, verbally or sexually will in adulthood, make themselves a perpetratator or victim of domestic violence..it is a fact , shown by the majoritity of survivors..
It is wishful thinking and an excuse made by individuals on the outside with no first hand experience with substance abuse and domestic violence to believe that "anyone can change you just have to want to"..
Have you had experience with anyone suffering with stage 3 alcoholism? It is a proven medical fact that alcoholism, which most often is a factor in cases of domestic violence, cannot be controlled without intervention and debriefing..
The same can be said of addiction to sex, love and toxic relationships..

I'm not saying it's not a cause katherine I'm saying there is a solution and life is not hopeless after suffering abuse.

Ken Keyes Jr., personal growth leader and longtime peace advocate died of sudden shock in Coos Bay, Oregon December 20, 1995 at the age of 74 after realizing that Katherine Gundlefinger put down the crack pipe and picked up the millionth copy of is Handbook to Higher Consciousness.

Katherine wrote:

<quoted text>"I'm a no-limit soldier, I could flow all year.."
I'll never stop advocating that men AND women, society at large, and parents in general take responsibility for the physical , emotional mental, and sexual health of ALL people..
I'll know we're on the right track, when
The Handbook to Higher Consciousness is required reading from grade 9, and when it is made readily available at City Hall and Police Departments Nationwide..
:)
<quoted text> It is not an excuse that a man or woman who was beaten in childhood, physically, verbally or sexually will in adulthood, make themselves a perpetratator or victim of domestic violence..it is a fact , shown by the majoritity of survivors..
It is wishful thinking and an excuse made by individuals on the outside with no first hand experience with substance abuse and domestic violence to believe that "anyone can change you just have to want to"..
Have you had experience with anyone suffering with stage 3 alcoholism? It is a proven medical fact that alcoholism, which most often is a factor in cases of domestic violence...
The same can be said of addiction to sex, love and toxic relationships..

I was a 'good' little girl and a sweet teenager who was brought up in a "normal" home with two parents who did not abuse (or even USE)any substances. I was never hit or abused in any way. There was no sexual reading material left in my view. My mother didn't watch TV at all, let alone soap operas.[[NO ONE IN MY HOUSE/family EVER READ ANY of your "manditory reading"...]]
At 33 years old, I found myself in a terribly abusive marriage. It started out with him just controling and manipulating me and every part of my life. S-L-O-W-L-Y, he interfered with my CAREER, my social life, my family, my CREDIT ... my over all mental and emotional well-being. THEN, he started to hit. Then, he started to BEAT. By this time, I had NOTHING left in my life. NO WHERE to turn. Once a very independent, successful woman, my life was reduced to NOTHINGNESS because of someone I once thought was a man who loved and cared about me. I HAVE NO ADDICTIONS to any substance or perversions you mention. I am not fearful of BEING ALONE (I, ON MY OWN, raised my son, til the age of 15)- I didn't pretend there was some "bond" there, because I knew for a long time it was a VERY UNHEALTHY situation. It just IS NOT SO EASY TO GET OUT. They find you. They stalk. They take plates of of YOUR OWN vehicle. They cause scenes at your workplace. They sneak onto your property when you are asleep. They threaten you. They tell everyone YOU are crazy....
So, this is MY PARENTs' "FAULT"?????
This is.... HIS parents' "FAULT"???
This is MY "fault"???

No, he was/is a very ill individual --

...it is HIS fault.

been there wrote:

<quoted text>
So, this is MY PARENTs' "FAULT"?????
This is.... HIS parents' "FAULT"???
This is MY "fault"???
No, he was/is a very ill individual --
...it is HIS fault.

http://www.naturalchild.org/alice_miller/

I understand what you are saying..
I would like to know more about your childhood and his...

http://www.alice-miller.com/index_en.php

I think one part of the solution is to mandate publishers of Romance novels to print health advisories on adult reading materials and Soap Operas, which warn parents to keep these materials out of the reach of young children.

I agree with you, Katherine. Too many publishers are getting away with disturbing writings. I clean a library where I work and can't help but browse through the book shelves now & then. You wouldn't believe some of the titles of these novels. Some are actually frightening and would not give one thought of reading them. I saw this book titled Time to Love, Time to Die...I said a quick "Our Father" and was immediately calmed when I came across the Chicken Soup for the Soul collection. Whew!

Twisted Sister wrote:

I agree with you, Katherine. Too many publishers are getting away with disturbing writings. I clean a library where I work and can't help but browse through the book shelves now & then. You wouldn't believe some of the titles of these novels. Some are actually frightening and would not give one thought of reading them. I saw this book titled Time to Love, Time to Die...I said a quick "Our Father" and was immediately calmed when I came across the Chicken Soup for the Soul collection. Whew!

Well, I can appreciate the freedom of the press, and the freedoms of consenting ADULTS..
I only request that health advisories be placed on Literature to inform parents whether or not the Literature in question is safe to be left around children under the age of 18...
Sorry , but Jackie Collins Literature is NOT appropriate reading material for 8 year old children. Parents should be informed of the health consequences a family WILL face when their children are exposed to explicit ideas about sex and love at too young an age..
Like the blurb in the Berkshire Eagle said, Domestic Violence is a HUGE problem...saying that it is a huge problem means that the causes of Domestic Violence come from many sources and that is what makes the problem so difficult to fix...